Side Conquests of an Accidental Stud Monkey
by OverMaster
Summary: Inspired, authorized and proofread by Darkenning, and based on his Conquests of an Accidental Stud Monkey story. In a parallel universe to that story's, Negi's wacky romantical adventures and misadventures expand to include... well, that would be saying. Follows the core storyline of that fanfiction, but adds a whole bunch of other characters and situations. Most of them insane.
1. Negi, Asuna, Konoka, Setsuna

_You know the drill. I have no copyright on anyone featured here, nor do I make money out of these characters. Thanks to Darkenning for the inspiration and proofreading. This is a companion piece to his much better story _Conquests of an Accidental Stud Monkey_, and while it runs parallel to it, it shouldn't be considered as taking place in that same universe. Because this one has CROSSOVERS!_

* * *

**Side Conquests of an Accidental Stud Monkey.**

* * *

**Chapter One:**

* * *

Greetings. I am Uatu, the Watcher of Sector 2814, to use the most commonly accepted term spread by the Guardians of the Universe. Since the fiery birth of this universe, our species has monitored and chronicled the exploits of any and all other living species throughout the galaxies, always sworn to bear silent witness, without ever interfering. Unless the Fantastic Four are involved.

I observe the whole spectrum of situations and activities with which the denizens of Earth concern themselves. How they wage war on each other, how they love and destroy, how they succeed or succumb to adversity. There is no ill will whatsoever in any of this; no malice or improper desire to pry into their affairs is involved. The few who know of us often find this difficult to believe, but we find no pleasure on observing and recording such affairs, other than that the satisfaction of performing one's duty.

And we are certainly not Peeping Toms.

Which is why, when I relay this story of the human being known as Negi Springfield and his associates to you, it is not with a lustful spirit or intent. Such things are beneath the Watchers.

Because we are not Peeping Toms.

Let this be spoken and recorded for posterity.

In the meanwhile, please do watch, listen and learn the lessons to be derived from this strange saga...

(WARNING: This fanfic's management wishes to make clear there's no real lesson to be learned from this snappy little tale of lust, no matter what the cosmic Peeping Tom may say. Underaged unprotected sex is VERY bad, mmmmkay?)

* * *

'No man is an island.'

Wise words, as long as we consider 'man' to stand for 'sapient being' in that sentence, but we'd probably be splitting hairs at that point. Regardless, their core meaning still rings true; nothing of what we do will ever stop having subtle influences on others, and those others, in turn, will influence other people directly or indirectly connected to their lives, and so on. We are all part of a tangled web we all weave together. Of course, some of us will always have more of an influence on the whole than others. It stands to reason that the decisions, accidental or conscious, of someone who has saved the world before hitting his twelve years of age would mean more than those of you and me.

Well, you, anyway.

That is the reason why we are sharing this story today.

As for that day, the day this story actually started, since prior aspects of it have been better narrated elsewhere, we should probably start at the main infirmary of Mahora Academy, where the school's most popular, and youngest, teacher was undergoing an examination to determine why he wasn't looking that young anymore.

"Months?" Negi repeated incredulously.

"At a minimum. In case you weren't certain," answered Konoe Kouko.

"But, but - wait, I have to deliberately absorb a spell in order to use it as a Pro Armatione," Negi protested, flailing about for some way that this could be a mistake. "How can it -"

"Mm-hm, and you normally have to incant it. You didn't have to incant anything to use the pill, did you?" Kouko asked, as Negi slapped his own forehead. "There probably was a moment where you chose this, but it might have been something almost unconscious. Some moment where you wished things were different than they were."

"Nyergh," Negi said cleverly as he remembered thinking just that while watching Fate toying with the cheerleaders.

"Well, it's not so bad. But before you get any clever ideas about taking another one and trying to get yourself back to normal that way, let me state clearly - that would be a bad idea. We don't know what might happen, and there's a real danger that you might suffer a more serious problem."

The academy's official nurse, who until then had remained at the sidelines listening intently, chose that moment to speak up. So far, she had stayed out of the discussion since magic had never been something she could or wished to understand, but now she knew for sure that magic was stuck, it was time for science to toss its figurative hat in and prove how much better and more useful it was.

"I think I could help you with that," Mikado-sensei offered, extending a small jar of pills towards the aged-up Negi. "Konoe-sensei's concern is the age changing magic could react unfavorably with your Magia Erebea-induced change, isn't it? Then, by taking one of these pills of my own concoction, which are similar in purpose but created through purely scientific means, you could bypass those concerns."

The black haired woman frowned thoughtfully. "Actually, I'm not sure that would be the wisest course of action, either. Too many unknown variables."

Negi accepted the pill jar from the alien nurse. "I think I'll do it. After all, I'm immortal now. I doubt this could damage me enough to make it actually dangerous. What's the worst that could possibly happ-"

With a small frown and without a single word, Kouko yanked the jar of pills from Negi's hand.

"But why?" The savior of a whole world would never whine, but Negi came dangerously close to it then.

"You jinxed it. I'm doing this for your own good," Konoka's mother said.

"I suppose I should feel offended," Ryoko said, although with a playful smile that never left her lips.

Kouko looked evenly at her. "I have seen enough of what your medications can do on humans. Please do stick to aliens."

"However, technically I am an alien, right?" asked Negi, all too willing to grasp for a solution. "I mean, half Martian at least, and we're not exactly sure where my mother chose to ... I'll shut up," he held his hands up at the quiet, cold glare Kouko was giving him. "I guess ... well, could you let my friends in so that I can tell them?"

"Of course," Kouko, heading over to the door to the small examination room. She opened it and let Kotaro enter quickly, followed more patiently by Fate. She regarded the white-haired boy with no small amount of suspicion, in stark contrast to Ryoko's interested smirk, but allowed him entry nonetheless.

Half a moment later, Itoshiki Nozomu-sensei walked in as well, shoulders drooped. "I feel so out of place here," he shared. "Like I shouldn't even be here."

"Well, the good news is that I'm perfectly fine," Negi said. "The bad news is, I'm stuck this way and we don't know how long."

"That is good news," Fate said. "There should be no problems completing the tasks for the project in this form. Actually, for those which would require you to appear as a more mature person, it's more convenient, since you won't run the chance of shifting back in the middle."

"It's also really bad news," Kotaro said, glaring at Fate. Itoshiki was too busy making a pale rictus of bizarre shock to comment. "Where the heck are you gonna stay here on campus?"

Negi blinked. "Oh, feathers!" he cursed.

"... that's a curse?" Kotaro asked.

"Actually, in Rann, it is," Mikado-sensei said, then quickly added, "Long time enemies of Thanagar, you know."

That didn't actually explain anything to the rest of those present, so they decided ignoring in favor of the actual matter at hand.

"I never even considered that!" Negi said, hopping off the table. "I can't stay in the girls dorm room like this, the Headmaster-"

"What about me, Negi-kun?" said a cheerful voice from the doorway. Itoshiki's face, which was returning to some semblance of normality, immediately returned to its expression of shock. As he saw the old man calmly entering the room, supporting himself on his cane, he was sure that was it. The end of the rope for the sole child (and we mean that!) of his old mentor (actually, more like 'guy who had vaguely kept watch over him for a while when he was a child') Nagi Springfield. There was no way the Headmaster would let Negi live with Konoka-san after this, and that meant Negi would be expelled from the campus, or even worse ... sent to live with Itoshiki himself!

"Then we're agreed," Konoemon was saying cheerfully. "You will be-"

"I'M IN DESPAIR!" Itoshiki cried, striking his characteristic Despair Pose. "HAVING THE WEIGHT OF ANOTHER CHILD TOSSED UPON ME WHEN I'M NOT READY HAS LEFT ME IN DESPAIR!"

The scream, of course, caught everyone's attention, and they all stared at him. "Is there something the matter, Nozomu-kun?" Konoemon asked politely.

"Uhhhhh ... no, Sir," the lanky man quickly denied.

And so, it had been decided while Itoshiki's mind ran nightmare scenarios feverishly. Negi would, after all, stay living where he had over the last few months. Which takes us to the next stage in our tale.

* * *

"And that is basically everything," Headmaster Konoemon finished his tale for all those gathered around the table. "So now you know, Negi-sensei is to be allowed continued residence in the female dorms until further notice, despite the special conditions of his new state."

"With all due respect, sir, have you really given the situation all the thought that demands?" Nikaido Yuri asked him. "It's rather unheard of ... or at least, it was until Komori-san was allowed to room in Itoshiki-sensei's residence, but still -"

"That is but one of my many shames," Itoshiki mused darkly, hands crossed before his pale face. "I won't hold anything against you if you decide to finally bring charges against me because of it. All I ask is for Komori-san to be spared! It's all my fault for being so pathetically -!"

Konoemon interrupted the incoming Despair Rant with a well placed, "I appreciate your concerns, Nikaido-sensei, but I have the utmost faith in Negi-sensei's sense of decency and decorum, no matter the circumstances."

A heavy burst of thunder was heard in the distance, and when it passed, they could hear Itoshiki saying, "- unlike me, since I happen to be nothing but a weak-willed, good-for-nothing, woefully underqualified shame of this glorious academy and deserve nothing but a swift demise, preferably -"

"I trust Negi-sensei too!" Nekomome Shizuka said, just to cut him short while she could.

Ririko Kagome shrugged indolently. "If the Headmaster considers it so, I see no reason to oppose."

Ninomiya Hinako nodded vigorously, but whatever she was saying went muffled through her mouth filled of ice-cream mouthfuls.

"I must say I don't distrust him, exactly, but-" Akashi Wataru added dubiously.

"We are talking about a young man who is faster and stronger than a fighter jet," the cattily smiling lamia in human form spoke then. "I doubt a girl with the abilities of, let's say your daughter, just to pose a standard example I'm not using as a specific personal attack of any sort, could ever force him to do anything he didn't want to."

"Sure she could!" Akashi replied, pride in his daughter momentarily overcoming his common sense. "She'd just have to back-shoot him with a magic suppressing bullet, followed quickly by a paralysis round, and then she'd be... able... to... um, of course, I'm just being hypothetical here," he concluded once common sense reasserted itself. "Very well. If the rest of the Council accepts it, I'll add my vote of trust as well."

"Is my vote worth anything at all? It shouldn't be, since I am the worst judge of character here, but -" Itoshiki began.

"We accept your vote for Negi-kun, Nozomu," Takahata nodded. "So relax, please."

The Despair Teacher frowned, annoyed at being shown up by Takamichi once again.

"Very well," Konoemon rasped. "Next topic in today's agenda, what to do about the Dorm Supervisor after she snapped Kamijou-kun's neck."

"But he's recovering, isn't he?" asked Hinako-sensei, licking ice-cream leftovers from her fingers.

"Just barely, but that isn't the point."

* * *

That was the easy part. After all, they all were paid, and richly so, to basically follow Konoemon's instructions.

The _real_ difficult part would come next. Naturally, the students themselves would rather quickly realize there was a boy who was definitely older than Negi-sensei living in the female dorms, so that would have to be addressed as well. And so, after the staff meeting was over, they ushered the students in the know about magic into the meeting room.

Said meeting room, wide as it was, seemed so very tiny and cramped now.

Takahata looked at Konoemon. "Sir, when did so many-"

"After the Obsidian Prince Crisis that took place during the summer weeks you spent in Mundus Magicus, Takamichi-kun," the old man explained patiently.

"It was truly depressing." Itoshiki ran his bony hands through his own hair, even pulling on it. "And the worst part was, I didn't even die! Even when besieged by a private army, and then legions of monsters commanded by an ancient -"

"A private army?" Takahata interrupted.

"The Searrs Foundation," Konoemon answered, while the last few students took their seats. "You'd probably call it one of your average Tuesdays, only it took place here."

"And then there was the Holy Grail War-" Nekomome reminisced.

Nutmeg-chan twitched a few times. "It was ... horrible ..."

"Oh, really," Takahata said. "I suppose that explains why Kirei's church, and Kirei himself, are missing."

"Nothing of any value was lost," Akashi shrugged.

"Indeed," Caren Ortensia-chan said.

"Well, that's nice to know," Takahata said, meaning it, "But I was under the impression the last War had been only -"

Konoemon stood up and rasped, addressing the mostly puzzled students. "Good afternoon, everyone. Thank you for attending our call so quickly, leaving your other commitments for the day behind. Let me assure you, there is a good reason for this abrupt call -"

Info Dump ensued.

"And that is basically everything," Headmaster Konoemon finished his tale, for he was a person of habits and never one to stop using a perfectly good Info Dump as long as it remained useful. "So now you know, Negi-sensei is to be allowed continued residence in the female dorms until further notice, despite the special conditions of his new state. I trust you will help us ease your classmates and associates into this situation without revealing anything they shouldn't know."

The students just sat there, mostly dumbstruck.

"- so, he's a HiME, then?" Minagi Mikoto asked. "Because only girls can be HiME."

Konoemon mentally counted to ten before answering. "No, he's not a HiME, Minagi-kun. He's a mage, on loan from Wales' Merdiana Academy, and we trust you to keep this a secret."

Mikoto looked around the room, counted a few times with her fingers, then said, "I think we're too many for this to be a secret anymore."

You could have heard a needle falling then. As a matter of fact, Hinako-sensei had just dropped one, just to verify this. It was deafening.

Finally, Yuuki Nao snorted, looking aside. "She's said something not only sensible, but reasonable. Are you sure the world didn't end?"

"Hey!" Tokiha Mai began.

Finally, after several moments of sitting there with eyes reduced to the size of mustard seeds, Suzushiro Haruka stood up violently. "Headmaster, Sir! With all the due respect to your authorizitation, that is -!"

Tohsaka Rin's pigtails stood up at the word that closed that statement, and even Matou Shinji seemed horrified. Then again, his near death during the War had left him much more impressionable (and even more of a pushover) than before. Emiya Shirou blushed and tapped on his knees uneasily, while Mikoto cocked her head aside and began making mouth motions as if to ask Mai something. Mai just shook her head quickly and placed a hand on Mikoto's mouth.

"- because it's a complete moral alternation of our guidelines, and likely to bring several issues that would be easily prevoided if he only was moved in with someone his age and gender!" Haruka ranted. "Surely even the soon-to-be-graduated-and-thus-happily-deposed president of our Student Council agrees with me here!"

"Actually, I trust Negi-sensei with all my heart," Fujino Shizuru calmly said, surely not just to go against her, not at all.

"AAAARRRRGHHHHH!" Haruka sizzled. "I can't believe this!"

"When you mean 'his age', you mean like his real age, or his current age, or -" Emiya Shirou began asking, then fell silent as he felt most glances fixed on him. Meekly, he added, "Did I err?"

Tate Yuuichi then blinked in contemplation. "On second thought, maybe that's not such a bad question..."

Konoemon cleared his throat. "Suzushiro-kun. I'm infinitely grateful for your honesty and the heartfelt expression of your feelings of concern about this Academy."

"Sir," Haruka saluted him respectfully.

Konoemon studied for a moment if he should add a slight reference to how most others no doubt thought like her but didn't have the guts to say it outright, but decided against it. "However, the decision already has been made, and it is final. At least for the time being."

"But that's a contravention in terms!" Suzushiro gasped aloud.

"Contradiction, Haruka-chan," Kikukawa Yukino softly corrected her.

"You'll find out life is often seemingly self-contradictory, yet it always obeys a greater design, Suzushiro-kun," the Headmaster sagely said. "Well, I'll start listening to your questions now."

Takahata raised a hand from the report on the summer's 'technical difficulties' Shizuna had just lent him. "Sir, may I ask about this 'Fake Mahora' incident? This section seems to be very spottily redacted."

"We ... we had a really packed summer," Kurosaki Ichigo-san replied awkwardly.

* * *

Back when they still were a force to be reckoned with in the Japanese magical community, the Matou family had established places of residence all across the country. After the Fuyuki fires ten years ago, the elder patriarch of the clan, Matou Zouken, had moved with his grandchildren into the old home he had bought decades ago from the previous Mahora management. The house had, against all odds, survived the recent Grail War mostly intact, although the pecking order inside had changed radically. Not enough to make Tohsaka Rin feel all easy about being there, but at least enough to make her walk in, in the first place, after enough prodding from Sakura. The last thing Tohsaka wanted after all that had transpired in the War was to antagonize her long estranged sister any more than she absolutely had to.

Now, gathered at the Matou household long after most other students had retreated into their homes, most of those present at the meeting were drowning their mostly mild annoyances in delicious food and non-alcoholic drinks. Shinji only sat there in stiff, occasionally shivery silence, which was creeping Tohsaka out more than his usual behavior would have. Sakura, on the other hand, only smiled placidly as she sat at the head of the large table, as if she actually owned the place.

For Tokiha Mai, who only had a passing knowledge of what had happened in the War and had been far more involved with the HiME conflict, that barely registered. "So, what are we supposed to do if they comment on it? Like heck Aoi and Chie aren't going to start asking around as soon as they see him walking in and out of the dorm building, and what do I have to tell them then? 'Oh, don't worry, I'm sure there's a perfectly rational and non-magical reason that hunk is living with the headmaster's granddaughter?'"

"Hunk?" Tate huffed, as Shiho smirked slyly.

"To use a term they would use." Mai waved a hand into a circle, just once.

Nao snorted as she kept her eyes fixed on her cellphone and the message she was texting. "I know how I'd answer. I'm gonna answer, 'I have no freaking idea, go ask the old man'. And I suggest you all do the same."

"As if anyone would ask you anything to begin with," Kuga Natsuki muttered.

Nao smiled. "True. It's great to be me, isn't it?"

Mai sighed. "You know, I actually miss Midori now. Crazy as she could be, I bet she'd at least have some idea of what to do about-"

"I have no freaking idea whatsoever about what to do here," Sugiura Midori said as she stole some rice from Mai's plate.

"AHH!" Mai jumped back. "You were here!"

"Yes, always," Midori nodded.

"No, you just arrived," Mikoto told her.

Tate blinked. "Sensei? Say, didn't you go to America with your -"

Midori was now crouching in the corner, facing away from everyone else as shadows wrapped her. "I ... I had to come back."

"The Most Important Person Ever let you down?" Nao guessed.

"I don't want to talk about it!" Midori snapped, still staring into her corner.

"What was it?" pressed on Nao. "Another woman? 'It's not you, it's me'? Erectile dysfunction?" Nao asked, before Haruka frowned and none-too-softly bopped the back of her head. "HEEEYYYY!"

Mikoto looked at Mai. "What's erectile dysfun-"

"Don't think about it!" Mai commanded.

Then the sounds of tired dragging steps called everyone's attention towards a shriveled, spent old man in dark houserobes holding a large tray with several glasses. "My, my, my, how lively ... ahh, the long lost pleasures of youth, never to return, cruelly mocking me ..."

"Leave the drinks to me, Grandfather," Sakura gently said, as the mere sound of her voice made Shinji, again, cower behind a stoic Rider-san, who sat at her Master's right. She accepted the tray, and then realized something. "This one has a worm, Grandfather." She all but pushed one of the glasses against the old bald man's face, the pixilated-looking worm on its edge squirming much to everyone's disgust. "How many times do I have to tell you not to leave worms everywhere, Grandfather? **You are experimenting again, aren't you?**" she asked with a dangerous dark edge to her voice, as a black aura seemed to surround her for a moment.

Matou Zouken seemed to shrink down pathetically. "- no! I swear it must be a leftover from when I cleaned up the workshop!"

Sakura breathed deeply, then smiled angelically once again. "Never mind, then! I'll take this one. The rest are for you!" She cheerfully offered the rest of the glasses to her guests.

Most of said guests, by now, were hiding behind Shinji.

"- I'm not thirsty, thank you," Rin said.

_"I want to leave!"_ Shiho whined, making herself a tight ball as she hugged Tate.

"Thank you!" Mikoto reached over to grab one of the glasses, before Mai pressed her hand down against the table.

"No. You aren't thirsty."

"Ah? But, Mai -"

"You aren't thirsty," her busty roommate repeated.

Higurashi Akane looked down at the glass from which she had drunk when she settled herself at the table, then pressed a hand against her mouth as her cheeks swelled up quickly, and a purplish hue washed over her features.

* * *

That night, after a vigorous session of mouth-washing, Tokiha Mai rested on her back, on her bed, with an arm blocking her eyes, and Mikoto ... well, Mikoto hadn't come to bed just yet. Then again, the same nature that made her unwilling to sleep in her own bunk also made her unpredictable in her rest hours, so Mai was sure she'd come eventually, as soon as she felt the need for it.

Mai was, right now, more concerned about her own personal life. She had thought that, after the destruction of the Obsidian Lord and the HiME Star, everything would be far easier from then on. But then, when you are riding the bicycle of life, the easiest roads were the downhill ones, right?

_Ugh. What a metaphor_, she cringed.

It wasn't like things had worsened since then, in all honesty. Okay, they had in a way. She missed Takumi very much, but she forced herself to understand it was for his own good, that he needed becoming more independent, that Akira-chan would take the best care of him in the meanwhile, while they were ...

... away.

It still hurt. No matter how much she tried to rationalize it, she still couldn't stop missing him so much. And the worst part was no one understood. Mikoto was ... Mikoto. Nao was ... Nao. Natsuki was too busy on her own, trying to cope with coexistence with her long lost mother and Alyssa-chan AND Miyu (_Miyu!_) not to mention the whole awkward relationship with President Fujino. Midori had been away until now, and now she was a wreck. Akane did her best, God bless her soul, but she wasn't strong enough to support others. And Tate ... well, he understood the least of them all. She loved the boy, but God he could be dense. His basic reaction to any problem was a hearty 'Well, stomach it up, put your best face on, and move ahead already', which wasn't without its wisdom, but did little to ease an aching heart. It worked fine to get by on a daily basis, but didn't fix the core issues underneath.

She knew that was a selfish view on her part, perhaps. After all, Takumi's health had improved greatly, and he was happy, and that was what mattered the most. But surely, she could be forgiven over still feeling bad about his absence, couldn't she? She loved all the others left with her ... even Nao, to some degree ... but even so, as Midori's return had proved, even the relationships that seemed the strongest, even the thickest bonds, could prove to be fickle.

She worried about Tate. Was their relationship, after all, strong enough to prosper when even Midori's mature bonds had -

"Mai," Mikoto said, tugging on her pajama's right leg, "What does 'Just shut up and fuck me, will you?' mean?"

After a moment of perfect silence and stillness, the forearm blocking Mai's eyes moved just enough to allow a single light violet orb peek out. "What?" Mai asked, with a strangely tense tone.

Mikoto nodded quickly. "I heard weird noises coming from the next room, so I put my ear against the wall, and -"

With a blushed face, Mai blocked the eye again. "It's probably Saotome-san giving one of her dramatic readings to her friends. I'll tell her tomorrow to -"

It was Mikoto's turn to interrupt her. "Not that room. The other next room."

"- keep her Yaoi fantasies lower, and you don't need to worry about the meaning of what what what what?" Mai asked, bolting sitting upright on the mattress.

"The other next room," Mikoto said as if lecturing a very small and slow child, and pointing at the wall opposite them. Mai knew very well what there was at its other side, and that made her gag in her saliva. Surely, there had to be a mistake.

Mikoto was moving like an agile cat towards that wall, sticking an ear to it. She made a comically cute face of deep concentration. "Now she's saying 'How great your cock feels inside my cunt'. Ah? What's that? I-" She all but was pushed aside when Mai, face bright red, rushed over to listen intently as well. However, that didn't turn out the way Mikoto had expected.

Mai ended up taking her ear from the wall and humming to herself. "I can't hear anything," she had to admit.

"Mai's hearing is very bad," Mikoto stated simply, with some slight disappointment.

Mai clenched her teeth. "Compared to yours, everyone's but Superman's is. Look, Mikoto-chan, ah ... aren't you misinterpreting things, maybe?"

"What's that?"

"It means, are you sure you aren't thinking you're hearing things, when you actually are hearing other things?"

Mikoto made that small pout that passed as a frown in her, then shook her head vigorously. "No, no, no no! My hearing is excellent." She stuck the ear to the wall again. "Mai herself said it. Negi-sensei, with his new grownup voice, and Red Hair-san, and Konoka-san, and Sakurazaki-san, are all shouting and grunting weird things like those. They're panting now."

"What?"

"Panting, Mai, is when you make a sound like this." Mikoto began giving a perfect vocal impression of an excited dog mounting -

"I know what 'panting' means!"

"Then why do you ask?" Mikoto couldn't understand why Mai felt so frustrated about having things explained to her. Usually she felt frustrated when they didn't explain things to you, right?

"I wasn't asking that, I was ... forget it. Look, are you sure those were the exact words you were hearing?"

"Which words?"

"You know which ones!"

"Um ... no, I don't."

"The words you didn't know!"

"See? I told you. Ah!" she slammed a small fist on the palm of her other hand. "You mean 'fuck' and 'cock' and 'cunt', right?"

"- riiiiiight."

"Are you feeling okay, Mai? Your face is so red."

"I am! Just answer my question, please!"

"Which one? You have been asking so many, and you haven't answered mine ... what do those words mean?"

"First, I need to know if you're sure those were the exact words!"

"Yes, they are." Well, that had been an easy question, at least.

An oddly pale Mai looked at her with terribly wide and frazzled eyes for a moment, then said, "Those words all mean 'trouble'."

Mikoto blinked. "'Just shut up and trouble me'?" she paraphrased.

"No, I -"

"'How great your trouble feels inside my troub-'"

"Gneeeerggghhh," Mai expressed.

* * *

Next morning, and all of that.

"Oh, well, I suppose that you should wait until your exercises are done to shower," Konoka said, nodding. "So, have fun with that," she added, waving politely at Setsuna as she started to ever so gently pull Asuna and Negi towards the en suite door.

"Ah," Setsuna said cleverly. "Right. Okay then." Slowly, she exited, wondering why that hadn't worked out like she'd expected. But then, she supposed that she should have expected things to not work out as she expected them to, since very little lately had ... but wasn't that a paradox?

Her head hurt.

What had happened to her life? How had her dreams of glorious and honest service led her to this point? Why was she the only one who seemed at all disconcerted by what had happened last night? Clearly, the fault had to be hers, but what exactly was it?

Her head _really_ hurt.

Right after she passed by next to Mai and Mikoto's door, an orange haired head peeked out, waiting for her to turn a corner before following her, tip-toeing in a nearly ridiculous way. Left behind in the bedroom, Mikoto kept snoring cutely, with a small snot bubble coming in and out of her nose.

Normally, Setsuna would have detected the clumsily stealthy presence following her at a distance rather quickly, but aghast and lost in contemplation as she was, she would have missed an ambush by Tsukuyomi wearing a neon trenchcoat and with a police siren attached to her head. She barely realized the arrival of Kotaro as he jogged past her in the hallway, heading back to the room he shared with Ayaka, Chizuru and Natsumi. Mai, however, took that as her cue to back away frantically before they could realize she was there, hiding back behind a corner before anyone thought she was some sort of stalker or nosy concerned citizen, because surely there was nothing to be concerned about, Mikoto had to be mishearing things, riiiiight?

"Good morning, Kotaro-kun," Setsuna said politely, determined not to let her inner turmoil show.

Abruptly, Kotaro froze in place, failing to hear the agitated breathing of the girl hidden around the corner, to sniff at Setsuna's body scent, in the wake of the great shock he had just experienced. Then he slowly swiveled to look right at Setsuna, eyes wide.

"What?" she asked, a bit startled.

Slowly, he walked towards her, eyes narrowing, sniffing as he approached. Abruptly, it occurred to her that Kotaro's sensitive nose might detect-

"Oh. Holy. Shit," Kotaro said, eyes wide open once more.

"... why am I being punished for not taking a shower when I wouldn't actually be showering?" Setsuna asked of no one in particular.

A few minutes later, Mai's eyes were bugging out as if violently pulling to pop out of her head. What she had just overheard thanks to her not-nosy-no-stalking had left her so stunned, she barely could assume an air of rattled normalcy and feigned innocence as she pretended just to be passing by, completely oblivious, when a just as shattered Kotaro walked past her. Fortunately for her, the boy was rattled enough himself as to ignore the possibility this girl who was just passing through that spot might have been standing there long enough to hear that conversation he'd just had.

Mai's pretended obliviousness meant she had to walk just slow enough to lose track of Sakurazaki-san, but that mattered little by now. She had just gotten her confirmation, and there only was one thing she could do now. She walked back to her room, looked for Shizuna-sensei's number in her cellphone, and made a call asking for a few minutes with the Headmaster that afternoon. Her recent role in the conflicts that had shaken the school gave her some leverage, although Shizuna had been reluctant at first, claiming she needed to know the reasons. Eventually, Mai managed to convince her to trust her on the subject.

As she put the phone down and sighed, she tried to tell herself that was the sole right thing to do. She wasn't a stool pigeon or a nosy stalker, she was only doing the right thing for everyone's greater good, even that of Negi-sensei.

... right?

At least, she hoped so.

* * *

Insert Wacky Emotional Hijinx with Chizuru and Kotaro here.

"Come on now, tell me all about it!" Chizuru's voice said. "Don't be shy now, Ko-"

And then ... silence fell, and lasted for several moments.

It was broken by her voice once more, only this time sounding utterly unlike her normally confident and cheerful self - rather disturbed, instead. "Ko-Kotaro-kun?" she asked.

"No!" he said, almost yelling. "No, this is not ... it's not what it - I've gotta go!"

"Wait, don't-"

He rushed past Natsumi, who'd just barely managed to make herself invisible with her artifact. For a dizzying second, though, she had the impression that he wouldn't have noticed her even if she was in plain sight, for he seemed intent on running with his hands oddly placed over his crotch, as though covering something.

_Whawhawhawha?_ Natsumi thought.

In the dining room, Chizuru, still standing in a position that left her leaning over the table, in a way that gave onlookers a very good glimpse at her cleavage, had an utterly startled look on her face.

"... but you're only twelve," she murmured. "So ... why ..."

* * *

Kotaro's frantic escape from Chizuru, and by extension his living quarters, was aimless and thoughtless. Thus, he really couldn't be faulted when his mindless dash, eyes closed and hands firmly clasped on his crotch, led him through -

"EEEEEEE!" British exchange student Shirley Fenette cried as the black haired near-blur passed by right before her face while she was pulling herself up out the swimming pool. "AAAAAAHHHH!" she comically waved her arms for a moment, all balance lost, before falling on her back into the water, splashing in all directions.

Ikoma Minami blinked, cheeks flushed. "Isn't that the brother of one of your classmates, Ookuchi-sempai? Why was he touching his -"

"You'd have to ask Murakami-san," said Akira, looking elsewhere and proving that being nice doesn't mean you have to take bullets for others in vain.

Nyamo-sensei's eyebrow twitched a bit. "I think I'll do just that."

Mizuno Ami-san kept on staring at the speck in the distance that was Kotaro now before realizing her swimming teacher and trainer, and the rest of the girls, were staring at her instead. Then she badly feigned innocence. "Perhaps it's a medical condition?"

"I think I have one now," Shirley-san said from where she floated on her back, mouth clenched aside in a wince of pain.

* * *

"EEEEEEEEE! HENTAIIIIIIII!" the girls through the dresser shrieked as they flung brushes, books, handbags and the occasional wooden sword at the head of the quickly fleeting Kotaro, who to his credit not only didn't even realize he was running through a female dresser, but neither really felt the hits raining all over him.

As soon as he left, the girls rushed to the Kotaro-shaped hole in the back door. "They start younger and younger nowadays, don't they?" Kotegawa Yui frowned. "For shame!"

"Isn't he the little brother of one of your sister-in-law's classmates, Akane-chan?" asked Sayuri-san.

"Maybe. I don't remember," Tendou Akane lied.

Kuga Natsuki looked through the locker he had stumbled through in his run and cursed after noticing a missing item. "Damn that idiot! He took Number 39!"

"Eh?" Nao asked her.

* * *

"- you have panties wrapped around your left leg. Why do you have panties wrapped around your left leg?" Ichijou Raku asked the younger boy who had just stopped, breathless, by the Onodera Candy Store.

"- just ... just shut up..." Kotaro panted raspily.

Maiko Shuu looked down at him. "Don't look now, kid, but isn't that a boner, too?"

"AAAAAAA!" Kotaro screamed. "Somehow, it grew worse as I ran! But why? WHYYYYY?!"

* * *

_Dat Afternoon... I mean, That Afternoon..._

"I'm very grateful you could grant me this visit on a Sunday, sir," Mai sad respectfully as she sat before Konoemon's wide desk in his office. "I apologize for ... how much I am going to bother you, in advance." She said this while lowering her gaze.

"It's never a bother, Tokiha-kun," the old man affably said. "Although I am very intrigued about your reasons for bringing this directly to me. Has that rascal Nagi reappeared?"

Mai grimaced despite herself. 'Rascal' wasn't exactly the word she'd have used. "Ah ... no, thankfully, no. In truth, this is about ... ummm ... your granddaughter. That's why this had to be between us, because it's a personal matter, and as you can see ..."

She apparently stuck herself there, so after a few moments of waiting, Konoemon patiently asked, "This concerns Negi-kun as well, doesn't it?"

"Ahhhh ... yes," she blandly admitted.

"Well, Tokiha-kun, I must start by saying, as a matter of fact you aren't exactly the first one to bring this to me..."

"I'm not?" she blinked. Wait, had they been that noisy? Or maybe Mikoto was right and her hearing was that bad.

"No, but I appreciate your concerns all the same. Not everyone is as zealous as Suzushiro-kun." As he said that, he placed a huge stack of papers on his desk. "This is her thesis on how much she objects to the arrangements. I'm struggling with the meaning of ... a few ... words, but I think I'm getting the basics of her points," he chuckled.

Mai tried to chuckle back. "Ahhhh ... of course. You would ... you would be very upset if... something bad were to happen because of it, wouldn't you?"

"Well, I know it won't happen, but yes, I would," he nodded. "In the completely impossible hypothetical case my Konoka-chan and Negi-kun were to act beyond the boundaries, I would be -"

_Dead,_ Mai thought, sweat covering her forehead. _My poor ancient heart couldn't take it. I'd collapse at the feet of the person who happened to bring me the news. That person would have killed me, and all in the name of something she doesn't even have solid proof on, who knows, it still might be a misunderstanding, maybe Sakurazaki-san was only -_

"- forced to make them marry," Konoemon finished, with a very grim and serious tone but a glint in his eyes that seemed mostly mischievous and excited, in contrast.

"Eh?" Mai babbled. "Ah. Huh. Sorry, sir, but aren't they ... too young?"

"Perhaps, by current standards, but her mother married when she was around your age."

"But ... you'd still be mad, wouldn't you?"

"Oh ... yes," he added, after leaving the short sentence oddly hanging in the air for a few moments.

"And sad."

"I suppose you could say I would be left rather shocked and disillusioned as soon as I hear about it, which never will happen, but -"

"And they would be punished."

"Well, that's a given, wouldn't it? Although for it, we'd need extensive proof of the ... misdeed, as with any weighty accusation against a teacher. Unfounded rumors and baseless blaming can lead to serious charges of defamation and slander ... my my, are you getting paler, Tokiha-kun?"

"... no, sir ..."

"Hmmmm. Maybe you need a better regime of rest, exercise and vitamins after your summer ordeal. Although, if it isn't a burden for you, as their next door neighbor, I would be grateful if you kept an eye on them all the same."

"- sir!"

"Not that you're obliged to do it if you think you can't or shouldn't."

"Ahhhh ... I haven't said that, sir, but ..."

"You came here in the first plaace because you were worried and you didn't want to confront me in public, didn't you? Just like all the others."

"All the others? How many, besides Suzushiro-sempai?"

"Ah, I'm afraid I can't share that information. Perhaps I even have talked too much as it is," the old gentleman rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "Still, since you were concerned about what might, but won't, develop in the first place, you have my permission to keep a discreet watch on them. Mostly to ease your concerns, of course."

"Of course," Mai said, feeling like a cornered rat.

"Well, that's nice to know! We are feeling much better now, aren't we?"

"Ohhh... yes, Sensei, n-naturally..."

"I still think you should go have a physical checkup, though. I believe you have gone even paler now."

* * *

_Stupid, stupid, stupid! You should have become far braver after all that happened!_ Mai berated herself as she left the main building behind. _Instead, you were spineless, didn't take the risks for the right thing, and only ended up even worse than you began!_

A tiny Nao devil popped up on her right shoulder. _"Screw that noise, bitch! Forget all of that and just mind your own business!"_

A tiny Chie devil popped up on her left shoulder. _"No, Mai-chan! You must keep prodding into people's private affairs! Because it's the, um, righteous course of action!"_

A tiny Homura Nagi devil popped up on the top of her head, reading _The Trail of the Serpent. "Ah, ha ha! Oh, Mai-Hime, when will you learn? What you need to do is-"_

Mai shook her head and the hallucinations off and strayed off the public path to go lean against a tree, her hands planted on the trunk. "What should I do?" she wondered aloud. "No matter what I do, I'm going to screw it up! Whatever I choose, I'm going to hurt them. I'm the worst!"

"Well," a voice said from behind her, calmly, "It's nice to see you've finally realized that. What have you done this time, Tokiha Mai-san?"

That obviously was no hallucination, but it indeed was another tiny devil. With a tired groan, Mai turned around to face an impishly grinning small redhead. "Shiho-chan. If you're still worried about me dating Tate, wouldn't it be easier for you to keep stalking him?"

The smaller girl recoiled with a grunt. "Eh! It isn't stalking, it's DEEP LOVE! Tsunetsuki-sempai said so!" A beat. "I mean, when I follow Oniichan around. With you, it was just a case of just ... happening ... to be passing by and then just ... happening ... to overhear your guilty lamentations!"

"Alright," said Mai, who wasn't in the mood for a discussion.

Munakata Shiho cocked her hands on her own, slim hips. "So, what's your terrible, most likely relationship-ruining secret?"

Mai already was walking away. "See you later, Shiho-chan."

"Eh? W-Wait!" Shiho ran after her. "Don't ignore Shiho, you big fat cow! I'll tell Oniichan!"

"You're welcome."

"And he'll want to know, too!"

"Well, then I'll tell _him,_" answered Mai, not looking back, speeding her pace up as Shiho stubbornly kept up.

"It's something really horrible and dark, isn't it? Otherwise, you'd tell Shiho!"

"Think whatever you want."

"Don't be that way! Tell me!"

"No."

"Tell me!"

"No."

"Tell me!"

"No."

"Tell me!"

"No."

"Tell me!"

"No."

"Tell me!"

"No."

"Tell me!"

"No."

_Twelve minutes across the campus later..._

"Tell me!"

"No."

"Tell me!"

"No."

"Tell me!"

"No. Have a nice day, Shiho-chan," Mai deadpanned as she quickly walked into her apartment, then slammed the door on Shiho's nose. Once inside, she relaxed with a long deep sigh. "Mikoto-chan, I'm hom-"

"Tell me!" Shiho repeated, now standing right before her. Inside the room.

"AHHHH!" Mai backed away against the door. "How, how did you do that!"

"Trade secret. But I'll tell you if you tell me!"

"No!"

Shiho pouted, then looked at the other petite girl sitting before the TV watching _Japan's Funniest Kaiju Videos_. "Whatever. Miko-chan? Will you tell me what's going on with your stressed, suspiciously guilty-looking roommate?"

"Mmmmm?" Mikoto looked away from Gojira's hilarious pratfall on the Fukushima Reactor to frown at the sight of the Munakata girl. "Oh. It's you."

"Come on, Miko-chan!" Shiho turned the sweetness up. "We're friends now, aren't we?"

"Um, no, we aren't. Are we?" she consulted Mai with a look.

"We're acquaintances who tolerate each others' annoying quirks," Mai informed.

"Huh?" doubted Mikoto.

"Sort-of-friends," Mai summed up.

"Oooohhhh, come on, Miko-chan!" Shiho cooed, sliding next to the feral girls, whose fingers itched for her Miroku. "Be a dearie and tell me what's got Mai-san so worried so I can help her! I'll give you a lollipop!" She produced said lollipop out of her Powerpuff Girls purse.

"I'd never sell Mai's secrets for a lollipop," Mikoto stated very seriously, as Mai's already generous chest swelled up with pride.

"And a cupcake," Shiho added, offering a pink cupcake with a cute drawing of Rainbow Dash on the wrapping.

"She's been acting worried all day long because Negi-sensei stuck his trouble into Red-Hair san's, Sakurazaki-san's and Konoka-san's troubles, and then troubled them up," Mikoto said, taking the cupcake. Mai's hand palm crashed against her own face.

Shiho blinked a few times. "Um, what."

"Trouble means 'cock', 'cunt' and 'fuck'. Or the other way around. It's sort of confusing," Mikoto explained as best as she could, while Mai's hand clawed her own face.

Shiho blinked even more, then said, "Oh. I see. That's all?"

"That's all, you say?!" Mai yelled. "What the hell! Why aren't you overreacting like a normal girl would-!" Okay, so she was _Shiho_, which didn't exactly equal 'normal girl', but still!

"And why should I be worried or anything?" asked Shiho. "Whatever others choose to do with their own lives is their own problem, isn't it? If anything, I should be glad, since if Negi-sensei is, ah, troubling, those three girls, then it's three less girls who won't trouble Oniichan ever again, isn't that right?"

Mikoto nodded. "When she's right, she's right." Then she stared at Shiho. "But what did you just say, again?"

Mai stared at her self-proclaimed rival with a mixture of disbelief and disgust. "Wait, don't tell me you ever thought of those girls as potential rivals for -"

Shiho wagged a finger. "When you are walking through a minefield, think of every step as your last one, Mai-san. So said Tsun Zu."

"There are so many wrong things with that sentence, I don't know where to begin!"

Mikoto already was listening against the wall, beckoning for Shiho to get closer. "Oi, oi, they began troubling again. From what they say, looks like Negi-kun has a big trouble. Maybe we should help him if it's so big?"

Mai growled, red faced. "We won't do that!"

"Eeeehhh? But Mai, you've always said we should help those with big troubles!"

Shiho's cheeks were red as well, and her nose leaked red strands, as she listened as well. "Wow ... that sure sounds like some trouble."

"It does, doesn't it?" asked Mikoto.

"You can hear it, too?!" Mai gasped.

Shiho gave her _that_ glare. "What, you can't? They'd wake the dead up!"

"Poor Mai's got very bad hearing," Mikoto sadly sighed.

"Oh, definitely!" Shiho agreed.

"I do not!" Mai protested. "And stop acting like partners in crime! You're creeping me out!"

Shiho looked at Mikoto's face. "Living with her is a daily test, isn't it?"

"Huh? Ah, no, tests are boring, strange and hard. Life with Mai is nice."

"Suuuure it is," Shiho said. She got back up from her kneeling spying position, dusted herself off, and said, "Okay, before you say anything, Mai-san, I won't tell a soul. The busier those three are with their man, or boy or whatever, the further away they are from mine."

"Mine," Mai corrected.

"Mine," Shiho hissed.

"Mine," Mikoto came behind Mai and groped her, possessively.

"You got that right," Shiho nodded sagely as Mai huffed. "But anyway, if you're struggling with the burden of this knowledge ... for once I'll give you some advice and suggest you to leave it alone. I sure wonder what would Tatsumiya-sempai say about this, though." She giggled evilly.

"What's so troubling about this trouble?" Mikoto wondered aloud. And then, "Anyway, if we can listen to the trouble, and the trouble is supposed to be a secret ... why couldn't the others, on the other side, listen to it as well?"

Mai and Shiho froze.

"Unless," Mikoto added, "their hearing is as bad as Mai's."

"I don't have bad hearing!"

* * *

The tiny animal was an odd one indeed. He was supposed to be a monkey, but he looked more like an overgrown mouse. An admittedly cute and even charming mouse, but still. He acted just as weirdly, as well; ever since Tenjou Utena had begun living with Himemiya Anthy (after apparently gaining her hand in a duel against the Vice-President of the local French Fencing club, but then the girl was as weird as her pet, and her school for that matter), Anthy's beloved Chu-Chu had proved himself quite the quirky little fellow, acting more like an all too human mouse than any sort of monkey Utena had ever read about.

Just like now, when he was dragging a stethoscope pulled from God knew where through the room, passing over Utena's feet, and then applying it against the wall separating Utena's bedroom from Konoka-san's.

Utena lifted her gaze from the pile of homework she had been working on. That new child teacher, Averruncus-sensei, was terribly strict, although Utena was not in the 'He's going to FALL!' camp yet. "And now what are you doing?" she wondered aloud, seeing how Chu-Chu's fine eyebrows went up and down as his mouth curved itself in a strange comical smile.

At least he wasn't as bad as Negi-sensei's underwear thief ermine, Utena supposed.

"Chu-Chu just happens to be curious about what transpired between our neighbors last night, and now he's heard the first signs of a repeat, he wants to listen as best as he can, Utena-sama," Anthy replied quietly from her dishes-washing self imposed duty. Utena had tried to arrange an alternating schedule with her, but despite the dark skinned girl always agreeing with her on everything, she still found ways to tackle all the domestic chores herself one way or another. That was a wife's duty, she said, even if she happened to be a Rose Bride. Whatever that happened to be.

Utena would have, until a short time ago, answered this outrageous claim with a question. One like 'And you know that for sure, because?' However, after a few times getting 'Because he told me, of course' as perfectly straight faced, intended to be serious reply, she had stopped trying the uphill fight against Anthy's strangeness, and instead tried to work along with it. "Oh, I see. They had another fight?" It wasn't unheard of Kagurazaka-san and Negi-sensei to engage in rather one sided shouted discussions, usually related to baths and the need or lack thereof for them, although those seemed to have diminished in frequency and intensity as of late.

"Well," Anthy said, "I wouldn't call it exactly a fight."

Utena blinked. "Wait. You heard it too?"

"You didn't? Oh dear, Utena-sama seems to have a bad hearing."

"I don't - oh, forget it," the pink haired and fair skinned girl sighed. "So, if it wasn't a fight ... not that it's my business, I know, but ... it's about that young man who is visiting them so frequently now? I think that's Sensei's cousin, right?"

"His cousin? Oh, no, Utena-sama, that's Negi-sensei himself."

"Utena-sama?"

"Anthy, what did you just say?"

"I said that's Negi-sensei himself, Utena-sama."

"Come on, Anthy, that's just plain impossible."

"Remember what happened when we traded bodies, Utena-sama?"

"Oh. Uh, are you telling me, then, Sensei and his cousin -"

"Oh, no, there's no such cousin." Anthy walked back from the kitchen, drying her hands off. "I just mentioned that as an example of the sort of normally unheard of incidents that may develop when you dabble into the mysteries of magic. Or Indian cooking."

"So, did he -"

"It definitely wasn't Indian cooking, Utena-sama."

Utena sighed, rubbing her already aching forehead. "And you know all of that, because -?"

"Chu-Chu told me, of course."

Darn. She had done it again.

"Okay. Very well, let's recap, then," Utena said patiently, closing her Neo Horizon book. "Basically, you're telling me Negi-sensei is that older boy we've seen walking in and out for the last couple of days."

"Indeed."

"But, Sugiura-sensei was saying -"

"Sugiura-sensei says she's seventeen, Utena-sama."

"Point. Great, great point," Tenjou conceded. "So, assuming he's indeed that older boy, and those are him and Konoka-san and Kagurazaka-san Chu-Chu is listening to - if they aren't fighting, what's that racket that had Chu-Chu so interested?"

"I don't know," Anthy admitted. "I haven't asked him that." Then she looked at Chu-Chu and asked him, "Chu-Chu, exactly what are they doing there?"

Chu Chu made a few cutesy odd sounds, accompanied by a few jerky pelvic motions, as Anthy listened calmly, nodding occasionally. Utena, who already was regretting asking, returned to her homework.

Then Anty said, "It's nothing to worry about, Utena-sama. Given Sensei and Kagurazaka-san already act as if they were siblings, it's just fitting they do just what my brother and me do whenever we're reunited."

"Ah, that's alright, then," Utena nodded absently, struggling with a few conjugations of the verbs 'to mate' and 'to intimate'. "Yes. Sibling things, okay. It must be nice having a brother or sister, I guess."

"It had its ups and downs," Anthy said in a rare moment of real honesty about the most unsatisfying corners of her life.

Meanwhile, up and down Chu-Chu's eyebrows went, just like, at the next room, up and down Asuna went on Negi, and up and down Konoka's fingers went into herself.

* * *

"They're still going at it?" a bewildered Mai asked, getting up and staring at Mikoto intently listening at the wall as she crouched in the darkness. A quick look at the clock later, the orange haired girl gasped. "What in the world! It's past midnight now! Don't tell me they haven't rested ... since ... Mikoto, what are you doing?"

Her roommate quickly looked back, cheeks flushed, and her bright eyes those of a deer caught in the headlights. "Doing?" she asked, as she stopped rubbing her crotch against the floor. Mai thought she saw a damp spot in the fabric of her panties, peeking under her loose nightshirt, and shuddered a little.

"Mikoto," Mai said, warily, "are you even aware you were doing that?"

"Doing what?"

"That thing you were doing until right now, while you listened!"

Mikoto blinked a few times, before looking down. "Ahhhh ... that thing. I guess I wasn't. It was just something that came to me." And then she asked, "Was it a bad thing to do?"

There were no easy answers for that, which stopped Mai for several moments. "Well, no, not really. But at the same time, it's something girls shouldn't start doing until they're somewhat older than you."

"You said the same thing about sword practice, but you didn't stop me."

Mai rubbed the bridge of her nose. "This and that are completely different things. And no, I will not explain how they are different, I'm too damn tired and this has gone too far. I'm going to put a stop to it right now," she said, getting up from the bed and tying a robe around her pajama-clad curvy body.

"So you're going to help with the trouble. Can I come too?" Mikoto asked, sounding almost hopeful.

"No, you'll stay here and wait like a good girl. Okay?"

"But, Mai -"

"This isn't open to debate, Mikoto. Sorry," her best friend said, heading for the door.

"I thought you said we shouldn't tell them we know?" Mikoto trailed after her.

"We know, Shiho knows, the other neighbors probably know. It's pointless, at this point. Don't follow me there, okay? Besides, I need you here to, um, keep watch if the Obsidian Lord returns."

"Oh," said Mikoto, stopping immediately and reaching for Miroku. "Of course, Mai!" she seriously said, glad to have been given such an important duty.

"That's my girl," Mai said, nodding before closing the door behind her.

A couple steps later, she was before the door of Sensei's living quarters. She drew in the second deepest breath of her life, and then rang.

The moment after that, even she could hear a faint cry coming from the inside, along heavy hurried steps, and things being dragged and pulled along, and a brief muffled discussion in frantic, panicked tones. Then silence.

Mai rang again.

Even more incomprehensible hushed discussion ensued. Then more silence.

Mai grew frustrated, and banged a fist against the door. "I'm not going away!" she announced loudly.

A second later, the goofily smiling Konoe Konoka peeked out, feigning to rub her eyes. "Ahhhh?" she badly pretended a yawn. "Oh, but if it's Tokiha-san. Is there something the -"

"I know what did you do last night, I know what you were doing right now, I want in," she said. Then it occurred to her maybe she had phrased that wrong.

"Ah?" Konoka blinked.

And predictably, Mai blushed. "I, I mean, in as in to walk in and discuss it, because it's really bothering us! Nothing else!"

Konoka looked Mai up and down, then nodded, with an awkward smile. "S-Sure thing. Please come in." She stepped aside, then quickly closed the door after Mai went in.

Tokiha looked all around, then barked, "Okay, everyone here right now, all right? There's no use on pretending, and I won't leave until -!"

Asuna-san walked out of the bedroom, pulling the same 'Just waking up' routine. "What the heck? Hey, there'd better be a good reason for -!"

"Cut that out," Mai told her. She grabbed the front of Konoka's robe, startling her, and yanked it down, revealing she had been wearing nothing underneath. Before Asuna could angrily retort, Mai said, "Does she always sleep like this? Really? I can smell what you were doing from here, and your actions have been keeping my roommate up all night long. Where's Sensei?"

"I, I, I really sleep in the nude, all the time," Konoka began. "And Sensei isn't here, he hasn't been spending most nights here since Fate-kun took -"

A sighing Negi walked out into sight, buttoning his night shirt up. "Konoka-chan, no. Let's face the consequences of our actions with some dignity. And I told you we should have cast a sound barrier spell."

"I really thought her hearing was that bad! It's what everyone says!" Asuna protested.

Mai was mildly boggled. "Everyone says that about me? Why? And why haven't I ever heard- Never mind, I'm setting myself up there. It's good to see you're man enough to admit it, Sensei." She folded her arms.

"He's man enough for a lot of things," shared Konoka with a blissful smile.

"Tokiha-san, I'm not going to lie saying 'This isn't what it looks like', but let me assure you, there's a perfectly valid and sound explanation for this," Negi said, trying to sound as placating as he could.

"Oh, that's great. Let's hear it, then," Tokiha told him.

Konoka headed for the kitchenette. "I'll go brew some tea. What's your favorite type, Tokiha-san?"

Mai looked her way. "Hmmm? Sorry, I couldn't hear that. What was it?"

"Earl Grey it is, then."

* * *

As soon as they sat around the dining table, Negi looked at Asuna and asked, "Would you mind if I told her everything?"

Asuna looked away and shrugged. "It's all the same to me," she said, although she clearly was unsatisfied with the situation. Even Negi could see this, but all he could do was sigh and close his eyes.

"Thank you," he said, while a bewildered Mai kept on blinking.

"'Everything'? What do you mean with that?" the older (than Konoka, at least) girl asked. "Is there something that is even more of a shameful secret than having ... relationships with your students?"

"Keep it low," Asuna said. "Not everyone has hearing as bad as yours."

"Oh, _now_ you think of that," Mai grumbled.

"Girls, please," Negi said. "Tokiha-san, from what I understand, you just went through a very difficult situation where you briefly lost your loved ones, didn't you?"

"Yes, I did, but this isn't about me, it's about -"

"Soon, Negi and Konoka will lose me," Asuna bluntly said.

Mai recoiled, hit by shock. "Ahhhh ... say what?"

"How much do you know about the Magical World?" asked Negi patiently. "As in, not only the magical community, but the actual world of magic set aside from this world?"

"Ummm, Midori ... I mean, Sugiura-sensei mentioned such a thing a few times, but never went into any detail."

"To save that world, in a few months, I'll be placed in a forced sleep that will last one century or so." Asuna just wanted to get over with it already. "It's supposed to be a secret, you know, but then, so is that HiME thing you went through. Although I'd really, really like if mine was better kept than yours," she remarked her words with strong taps of her fingers on the table.

As Konoka set a steaming cup of tea before Tokiha, the busty girl babbled, "But ... how does that work? Why has it to be that way?"

Asuna gave Negi a jaded glare. Negi rasped to clear his throat while Konoka sat down as well.

_One lengthy techno-magi-babble-filled exposition later..._

"And I've simplified it a lot, but basically, that's it," Negi finished. "If you have any questions -"

"No. No, I don't!" Mai shook her head quickly, the better to leave that dizzying infodump behind already. "Um, I think I got it. So, you're afraid you're going to lose her, and you want to spend those last months together as ... together as you can be ..."

"Pretty much," Negi somberly said.

Konoka gently shook Asuna's shoulder, and Kagurazaka woke up with a start, the snot bubble in her nose blowing up. "No! I won't put that on again, Fate, why don't you - oh. He's done already?"

Konoka nodded.

Asuna huffed and looked at Mai's face. "See? So basically, Negi is all but cut from the faculty already, so it won't matter that much if he's fired over this."

"I would mind!" Negi gasped.

"You're getting a paycheck without giving classes anymore, Negi," Asuna told him. "Of course, it'll be a while until your project can start paying you, so I figure it's just fair, but still -."

"No, it's not about that!" he said. "If I fail at my assignment, I won't become a Magister Magi!"

Konoka piped in. "Negi-kun, you've already done more than enough to qualify for that. Wouldn't you agree, Asuna-chan? Tokiha-san?"

"Why, why are you asking me? Anyway, what about you?"

Konoka shrugged. "What's the worst thing that could happen to me over this? That I'm forced to marry Negi-kun? Bring on the punishment, then."

Mai sighed and pinched her own nose, closing her eyes.

"By the way," Konoka added, "Let me thank you about talking this with us first, before taking it to Grandpa or any of the other teachers."

Mai opened her mouth to answer that, but all that came out was a weak "You're welcome. So, you won't stop doing this?"

"Not until I'm placed in suspended animation," Asuna said.

"Don't be so casual about this!" Mai slammed her hands on the table, and Boing Boing her breasts went. Negi gulped. "It's your whole life in the line here! You've gotta do something about this!"

"You think we haven't looked for alternatives?" Asuna snapped. "But there aren't any, well, none that work in any ethical way, so it's something I have to do! It isn't that bad anyway. Negi is immortal, so he'll be there for me when I -"

"And what about her?!" Mai pointed at Konoka, and then all other three faces lost all light as the elephant in the living room was brought back to their attention. Feeling the miserable auras around them, Mai gulped. "I'm ... sorry. I shouldn't have put it like that, especially not after all I've gone through. I... I felt like I was dying when I lost Tate and Takumi, and even Mikoto in a way, and I don't even want to imagine how it would have been, had it be perman- sorry, I'm sticking my foot in my mouth again, right."

"It doesn't only happen to men," Asuna philosophized.

There was a brief silence.

"Do ... do your friends know?" Mai shyly asked.

"Other than Evangeline-san and Fate-kun, none of them," Negi replied.

"She was asking about our _friends_, Negi," Asuna pointed out.

"Don't you think they deserve to know?" Tokiha asked.

"I don't want to cause them any pain," Asuna sourly said. "We're telling you only because you aren't close, so-"

"And don't you think you'll hurt them anyway, even worse, when you're gone and they realize you haven't given them a chance to say goodbye?" Mai pressed on. "You know what was the worst of everything that happened to me during the HiME war? Losing my brother without having a proper goodbye to give him. Do you have any idea how does that feel? Do you want to cause them the same -"

"Tokiha-san," Negi said sternly. "She's already under a world of stress. Don't make it any worse."

Mai deflated upon realizing, staring at the mismatched eyes that stubbornly tried to keep themselves dry. "Oh ... yes. Sorry, I should know what's that like, after ... I guess I let my emotions get ... Look, after all that happened to me, I'm willing to believe you, I really am, and ... I'm regretful I judged you before knowing the full truth, but ..."

"We'll use spells to block the sounds from reaching your room from now on, Tokiha-san," Konoka politely said. "We're sorry we have disturbed you."

Mai looked actually hurt or moved, or perhaps both. "I ... I would appreciate that, yes, but ... if there's anything I can do ... maybe, maybe we can look for Kazahana-san, see if she could have a solution? Or maybe -"

"It's all right, Tokiha-san," Negi placed a hand on her shoulder.

Mai shook her head. "No, of course it isn't! How could it be? How can you quit even trying? How can you-"

"It's what I want to do, Tokiha-san," Asuna firmly said. "For everyone's good."

Konoka sighed as she sipped the last of her tea. "Made for each other, aren't they? They both have the exact same adorable Martyr Complex."

"WE DON'T!" Asuna and Negi cried at once.

"But that's exactly why I love them and Setchan so much!" Konoka smiled bittersweetly, rubbing the corners of her eyes.

Being called out on her own Martyr Complexes more than once, Mai chose not to argue on the subject. "... fine. I suppose you'll know better than me on that. I understand your circunstances are ... unique, so I won't tell anyone. Your secret is safe with me."

"What about your roommate?" Asuna asked suspiciously.

"Oh, she doesn't even know what sex is. It'll be okay," she said. And Shiho wouldn't ever speak because of her own interests, either, so everything was okay on that front too.

Or so she hoped, at the very least.

* * *

_The next morning:_

"What do you want?" he asked, sounding wary as he should, for the person facing him had brought much misery on others, and wouldn't hesitate to do so again if she felt compelled by circumstances. The problem being she had such a low threshold for those circumstances.

Despite which, deep inside, she was only an insecure, highly self-sabotaging, more-than-mildly traumatized girl (bitch or not), so she swallowed and hesitated before talking. When she did, it was with a shaking, even more wary tone. "I just want to tell you something."

"Is it important, or can it wait until tonight?" the boy asked, irritated but still wanting to give her the benefit of doubt.

She looked down at her small feet, their pits curving towards each other over the grass behind the building. "You can be so mean, Oniichan. Can it wait? Yes, it can. Can it wait without hurting me inside? I don't think so. Because it's a huge weight, and I need a kind soul I can trust on this, and -"

He sighed and crouched down, gently placing his hands on her small shoulders. "Oi, oi, I'm sorry. I guess I woke up cranky today, that's all. Don't start pouting like that and just tell me what's bothering you so much. You know you can trust me on anything, unless ... you didn't kill Mai and hide her body, did you?"

Choosing to pretend those few last words had never been uttered, Munakata Shiho smiled adorably. "That's so sweet from you, Oniichan who never would think me a conscious murderer, and who still works for someone who massacred a whole building of admittedly bad people! I know I could trust you! Well, the thing is, you see, yesterday, Shiho learned a very dark secret about very important people, and now Shiho is kind of worried about the repercussions."

After all, those three skanks being with Negi-sensei didn't mean anything if Oniichan wasn't aware of it. Until he knew, he couldn't be aware they were taken, or that they were such filthy huge pedo whores. Right? So she had to tell him, only him, and after all he was discreet and quiet anyway, and never a stool pigeon, and sure, she'd be breaking her promise, but it was only a promise to Mai-san after all!

So she said, "It's Negi-sensei. He's doing the ecchi with three girls."

Tate Yuuichi's face went completely blank.

"... oniichan?" she gulped, after a few moments of eerie calm.

"Damn. I owe the President, then."

"Eeehhhh?"

He rubbed the bridge of his nose, up and down. "Nothing. Nothing, it's just we made a stupid bet on whether he'd still be a virgin or not by the time he - wait, how do you know that anyway?"

"Yes, how do you know?" someone else asked, and that made Shiho and Tate look towards the source of the voice, startled. As their faces were suddenly drained of all color, the newcomer sneered. "What? Why so shocked? I take this path to school everyday, you know, and you weren't exactly whispering, and do you think I'm as deaf as Tokiha-san?"

Tate ran a hand down his throat.

And that's where we leave him for now.

* * *

**To be Continued.**


	2. Chisame, Yozora

Second verse, same as the first one. I don't own any of these characters or franchises. Akamatsu Ken and a whole bunch of other fine ladies and gentlemen do. I make no money out of any of them. Don't read if you're easily shocked or offended. Or a minor.

Thanks to Darkenning for the inspiration and proofreading, and to I Am Not Creative Enough for suggesting the segment set at the Neighbors' Club.

diablo4000: Well, sorry, but if you don't know what are the series involved, it still doesn't make much of a difference if you know their names or not, does it? Anyway, if it makes you feel any better, the main crossover for this chapter is with _Haganai- __Boku wa Tomodachi ga Sukunai__._

* * *

**Chapter Two.**

* * *

Kuga Natsuki frowned at Shiho and Tate's shocked faces. "Well? Cat got your tongue?"

* * *

It had been a rather normal day for Mikazuki Yozora, seventeen, Class 2-E of the Mahora Mixed High School, President of the Neighbors Club. Waking up, brushing her teeth, using the toilet, waiting her roommate to finish with the bath since she disliked the communal baths, taking a bath, eating breakfast while contemplating how much of a cold bitch her roommate was without feeling any pang of irony or hypocrisy, going to classes, eating lunch all alone, listening to more classes, heading with Taka over to the Neighbors Club, pestering Meat, being pestered by Meat, pestering Meat again, getting into a fight with the Suzumiya weirdo and her SOS Brigade of Jerks, then heading away on her own to buy some new clothes and relieve tensions and frustrations.

And all of that perfect normalcy was shattered forever when she entered her favorite shop and saw them from afar. Fortunately, or perhaps not, they were far too busy with each other to realize her presence.

"What is it with you and suits, anyway?" Taka's younger sister, the one with the acne, that was, was asking a very tall and admittedly handsome young man with reddish hair. "It doesn't really seem to fit."

"Eh?" he said, turning to look at her. "No, this is in my size. See?" He slid his arm into one of the jacket sleeves to demonstrate.

"No, that's not what I mean," said Taka's sister - what was her name, again? "I've seen photos of your dad, you know. I don't think he was wearing a suit in any of them. So then why do you always wear one?"

"Oh," the young man said, blushing a bit. "Well. It's what a teacher is supposed to do, isn't it?"

_Huh? A teacher?_ thought Yozora.

"You're being evasive," she told him.

"Am I?" he asked.

"You're _still_ doing it!"

He pouted. "Well, it's a little embarrassing, you see. Other than my sister and the people in our village, the first person I'd ever met who actually knew my father was Takamichi. And practically from the first moment we met, he was telling me how much he was always striving to be like my father, which was something that I wanted to do as well, of course."

"Of course," Taka's sister echoed a bit more sardonically. Yozora was startled to see that the girl was speaking in stereo with that really strange Chachamaru girl, who favored her with a small smile.

Ignoring this byplay, the youth continued. "Since we were both following the same path, I guess you could say that I took Takamichi's style as a model to follow. I didn't realize until much later that while he does look up to and admire my father, his style is more or less inspired by his own master, Gateau-san." He shrugged.

"So the whole thing comes out of a misunderstanding," the girl concluded.

"Also wanting to present a respectable image for my students," he added, just a bit pointedly.

"Yeah, well, respect isn't really what you've managed to inspire in a lot of them," she told him, shaking her head.

"Yes, that's been made clear, particularly after what happened last night," he answered without really thinking it through.

_Wait, what?_ wondered Yozora, who had not-hid-merely-chosen-to-stay-still-behind-a-long-stand-of-clothes just because she wanted to, not because she was spying on those idiots at all, no sir, that would have been ridiculous.

A second or so after that somewhat inopportune statement, Taka's sister grabbed hold of the young man's shoulders, hefting him an inch or so off the ground, and dashed rapidly into the store's small change room, closing the door behind them.

"Excuse me," said one of the aforementioned helpful employees, approaching quickly. "It's against store policy to allow more than one person into a change room at a time, so-"

"Could you please make an exception?" that _really really_ strange Chachamaru girl asked, quietly looming over the helpful employee, and pitching her voice in a way as to suggest terrible fates awaiting.

It made even Yozora somewhat wary, but not enough as to deter her from walking around the area, behind the green haired weirdo's back, and ducking into the change room directly behind Negi's, taking a solid black blouse along with her because-she-had-liked-it, not-because-she-needed-an-excuse, that would have been just plain stupid to even suggest.

* * *

_Meanwhile:_

"Practice? Practice for what?" Ayaka asked, now thoroughly disconcerted.

Chizuru's smile took on a decidedly scary aspect. "For when I start chasing after Negi-kun. He's an awfully good kisser, after all."

Ayaka's jaw dropped.

"I'll share him, of course," Chizuru offered.

As Ayaka remained stiff in place there, her eyes blank while her mind rebooted and tried to process what she had just heard, Chizuru's cellphone tone drew the attention of the Naba heiress.

"Mochi mochi?" the big breasted girl said. Then she sighed, relieved. "Ah, it's you, Kotaro-kun. I was growing worried about you. When will you -"

"Um, yeah, about that, Chizu-nee ..." the boy's voice answered. "Don't wait for me, will you? I'm going to spend the night over at ... well, with a friend. Tell Natsumi-nee and the old aunt not to worry either."

"What? Kotaro-kun, why? We need to talk about, well, about what happened, I know you must be upset, but we can-"

He interrupted her. _He interrupted her._ "Upset? Why, why would I be upset? Ha-ha, no, of course not, I'm just ... hmmmm, it's like when you girls have a pajama party or those other things girls do when you want privacy and ... you know I can take care of myself, have been doing for years, see you later, please bye!" He cut the call in a flushed rush, setting his cellphone down on the grass and panting.

"That was real ... what's the expression? Smooth?" the person sitting next to him, with his back supported on the old wooden well, commented.

Kotaro frowned, looking past the small house near the Tatsumiya shrine, and into the distance. From the hillside they were on, they had an excellent view of the Mahora range spread below. "Ah, shut up. Like you're 'smooth' either, old man."

The other dog demon in the area grunted and mashed a fist down on Kotaro's head. "Shut up. At least I don't run away crying when I -"

"What did you do, then, in that case?" Kotaro asked the taller, white haired older-actually-much-older boy. "I mean, when you had your first ... well, you know?"

The dog demon in red scratched himself on the chin. "I ... I don't remember."

"YOU DON'T WHAT?!"

"I don't remember. What's the problem? It was too long ago anyway. But I'm pretty sure I didn't respond by running away crying like a little girl."

Kotaro growled and popped his claws out. Aggression and offenses, he could deal with. As a matter of fact, he welcomed them. They took him back to the old familiar waters of violence as a safe means to relieve pressure. "Wanna see who's the real girl, old fart?"

Inu Yasha smirked, standing back up and rotating his right arm. "Well, I normally don't hit crybabies, but I guess you need a spanking as much as that little Shippou creep did, so -"

"Sit," a girl with long black hair casually said as she approached with a bento box. As the white haired boy slammed face down into the dirt, she offered it to Kotaro, who accepted it with a polite bow. "Was he bullying you again, Inugami-kun?"

"Bullying? Che, that'd imply he could ever strongarm me," Kotaro said as he opened the box. "We were just trading trash talk, that's all."

Inu Yasha grunted from the ground. "I remember clearly handing you your ass every time we've clashed, kid. You have to -"

"I know this is the way you male dog demons bond, but don't you think you're overdoing it by now?" Higurashi Kagome, granddaughter of one of the Tatsumiya clan's former shrine assistants and now resident of the area, asked. "So, do you feel like sharing what's bothering you now, Inugami-kun."

"He already told me," Inu Yasha huffed. "Forget about it, Kagome. It's just a very stupid thing."

"You promised not to tell!" Kotaro reminded him.

"Yeah, and there's no point on breaking promises over something that stupid," the taller hanyu said. "So you don't need to fear ... fraidy kid."

"I'll show you who's fraidy!" Kotaro shook a fist, but lowered it when he realized Kagome-san's disapproving glare. She was sort of like a taller Natsumi-nee with hints of Chizuru-nee's Alpha dominance. Bad enough to make Kotaro sulk in defeat. "Ahhh, forget it. So not worth it."

"It's a boys' thing, isn't it," Kagome guessed. "I suppose you could ask my grandfather, if you want a consult with a real wise male ... or the closest available thing, anyway."

"Nah, I'm okay," Kotaro said as he ate. "I think I'll camp out in the woods tonight so I don't bother you anymo-"

"No. No no no, dog hanyu or not, no way you'll sleep in the cold open as long as we have a guest room available," she answered.

"But he wants to-" Inu Yasha began, annoyed.

"And I want him to stay, at least until he sorts whatever this is with his roommates," Kagome countered. "So that settles it, doesn't it?"

Inu Yasha gave her an eyebrows-raised exasperated look, then tossed his hands up and turned around. "Fine! It's your house, not mine!"

"Why, yes, it is," Kagome nodded, then patted Kotaro's scalp. "There! Don't you worry about the old dog in the pound, puppy! If you need for anything, you just whistle for me!"

"... you know, that was actually quite racist, Nee-san," Kotaro said.

"Eeeeehhhh? It was?"

"Yes, it was," Inu Yasha nodded.

Kagome bit her tongue. "Damn all that time spent in the Feudal ages! I forgot this is a politically correct era!"

* * *

Yozora was finding that dressing room awfully tight, so she thought she'd have to squeeze herself against the thin wall separating her from the one where Taka's sister was with that man.

Blah blah blah blah, they went. Dear God, but these people had issues. For a few moments, Yozora thought that couldn't end with anything but the guy punched out of there, which to be fair fit in with everything she knew about Taka's sister, but then...

"Sex happened," he said.

Taka's sister gaped. "Sex happened," she repeated.

And Yozora's mind was blown. Her jaw loosened. Of course, she didn't even know the guy, but she was repressed enough for such a confession in general to strike at her.

"You ... and Kagurazaka, right?" Taka's sister asked. "That almost makes sense, she's all touchy-feely now. But, but why did ... oh, God, don't tell me you also did it with Konoe, too?" she exclaimed.

He nodded again, and Yozora could feel his head tapping on the thin wall he was being pressed against. "And, well, also with Setsuna-san. I suppose I should just call her Setsuna after this, but somehow -"

"You had a fucking foursome for your first time!" Taka's sister almost squeaked - her voice was pitched high, but avoiding loud volume. "What is this, I don't even -" And then she fell ominously silent.

Now Yozora was fully confident the punch would come out, and she was feeling ready to actually cheer as soon as it happened. Which was an extraordinary thing for her, since she never -

"And, well, all of the girls were also with each other, but I suppose that's not really the issue here," the young man continued. "Um ... I know that it was wrong, but ... well, I can't really apologize for it, since I really, really enjoyed it, and, well, Setsuna wasn't happy but I think she has problems being happy that I can't really help her with, and Konoka and Asuna seemed pretty okay with it when we did it again this morning in the shower and -"

Steam began puffing out of Yozora's ears, and her face felt like it was burning. The worst thing was, another, much lower part of herself began feeling warm as well. But why?

"Okay," Taka's sister said at last. "I just can't take it anymore. So that's how it's going to be, huh? Fine. If that's what Kagurazaka was talking about, then that's how it's going to be. Fine."

The next Yozora heard was a male squeak of surprise, and then Taka's sister announcing, "We're going to fuck."

That wasn't what Yozora had been waiting for.

She felt like shouting for the saleswoman, the security guards, the other customers, but her throat was abruptly dry, and instead, she found herself feeling around for ... ah-hah. Sometimes, perverts, who weren't restricted to the male gender, would open tiny holes into those walls to peep at people getting changed, which was why Yozora had to poke on a few eyes every now and there. Not that Yozora was a pervert, but she had to know, for Taka's sake, not that she really cared, but everyone had a right to know if their sisters were -

Her black hair stood up.

Through the peephole, she could see Taka's sister on her knees on the floor, her hands close to the hole grabbing the guy's hips. And the guy's ass was all but covering the hole, which proved to be even more unsettling when Taka's sister pulled his pants down to his knees, followed by his underwear. At that point, Yozora's eye was almost completely buried into a buttcrack. Taka's sister was still mostly visible between his legs, though, obviously working on his hard unit, although Yozora couldn't see the penis itself from her angle. She could see the balls, however, which dangled right before her ... ahhhhhhh.

Yozora bit her tongue before it could betray her.

Panting, flushed, she barely noticed her own right hand quietly moving down between her legs. After which she unzipped the front of her pants. And in the hand went, under her panties, starting to rub on her tiny hardness as she watched.

Outside, the weird Chachamaru girl was giving some bizarre explanations to a naturally concerned employee.

"Elephants are, of course, far too large to employ any manner of camouflage when they are engaged in carnal activities with each other. Therefore, whenever they are doing so, other members of the herd will politely ignore them and make as much noise as possible to scare away would-be predators who might take advantage of the coupling elephants distraction. In a way, it is a celebration, of sorts."

"... what ... what in the world does that have to do with this situation?" the employee asked, still dumbfounded.

"Nothing, really. I just thought it was an interesting story. In any event, please don't disturb the people I love, or I will become unhappy."

"Yes!" shrieked a female voice from inside the changing room.

"Annnnnghhh!" moaned another female voice from the changing room beside that one.

The employee looked at Chachamaru again. "Is there an elephant in there as well?"

Chachamaru scanned the other room with her cold green eyes and said, "You could say it's a distant relative of the herd. For the sake of not provoking a stampede, I would say it should be left alone as well."

The employee gave her a nearly haunted look. "Girl. Who in the world raised you?"

"I was connected to a feeding machine that supplied me with basic data on what I should know, and which programmed my core personality routines. But besides that, my two co-mothers granted me occasional social interaction during my formative period, and then my Master -"

"Please forget I asked anything."

* * *

"Yes yes yes!" Taka's sister repeated herself somewhat more quietly as her back and her head bumped against the rear wall of the change room while, down between her legs, her man had assumed a position much like the one she'd been in a few moments ago, licking and sucking at her cleft. The motions which had led to this exchange of postures, as well as getting the girl's jeans off of her legs and onto the floor, had been complicated and difficult to describe - though admittedly it might only have seemed that way to the girl's perceptions, which were somewhat disoriented at the moment.

"Get up here," she gasped after a moment.

The guy pulled away from her and stood shakily up, so that their faces were together and their crotches were touching as well. "Are, are you sure -" he started to ask.

From where now she knelt on the floor, her discarded pants aside, her top pulled up, Yozora used a hand to play with her own nipples while the other kept touching her nethers. The change in the positions of the couple meant most of her main view was taken by the ass of Chisame (that was her name, now she remembered it) but much to Yozora's faint inner horror, that did little to discourage her. Maybe spending so much time with Meat was turning her into another slutty vixen? That was a really worrying thought, and yet Yozora couldn't stop herself, chewing on her lower lip as she watched the tall guy screwing Taka's sister vigorously.

"Tell me I'm pretty!" Chisame cried out a little while later.

"No!" the young man replied. "You're beautiful, not pretty!"

"Damn liar!" Chisame snapped. "I'm not beautiful, I know I'm not, you don't have to make fun of me! Nobody with zits like -"

"What zits?!" he snapped right back. "You're a beautiful, charming and sweet person whom I'm glad to know, you make me happy when I'm with you, if anything ever happened to you I don't know what I'd do, Chisame, I lugh oo!"

Wait, what? From where she knelt, Yozora couldn't see Chisame's hand blocking the boy's mouth, and frankly, right then she was too out of her own rational mind to figure that out, but before the strangle phrasing could puzzle her any further, Chisame said "Don't say such stupid things! Not even, not when we're - I don't - I - nyaaaaagh!" she concluded at last, the primal scream making its way up her throat from where her orgasm had finally exploded, triggering his own, equally noisy release.

But Yozora's hadn't come yet. She groaned her frustration as they plopped down before her, clutching on each other, so they were mostly on eye to eye level.

After a moment, the boy reached out to press his own hand over Chisame's mouth, staring deep into her eyes as he did so.

She blinked, then understanding dawned. Still, she hesitated for a moment, before making noises approximated by the sounds, "Uh lugh oo, oo."

Weeeeell, Yozora thought bitterly as she finally reached her climax, frowning deeply as realization of that phrase's meaning sinking in. Leave it to her to feel that way even when peaking in orgasm. That's gotta be the stupidest thing I've seen in a long time. What kind of idiot could be in so much denial about her feelings, even after she has just-

And then Chisame stiffened in place, her eye meeting the one that still peeked in through the peephole. Yozora realized that, and for a moment, everything was a terrible blunt silence, neither side daring to shriek just yet, almost as if waiting for the other side to erupt first. The boy blinked in mild confusion. "Chisame? What's-"

His gaze followed Chisame's towards the tiny hole, and he, too, joined the chorus of stunned silence.

At that point, there was a rather sharp knock on the door. "Excuse me, is everything all right in there?" asked the helpful employee, doing her level best to pretend that this wasn't a rhetorical question.

* * *

Mikazuki-san refused to say anything at all as they walked down the street, choosing to remain slightly ahead of them, head hanging down and body language conveying a general air of angry impotence. Chisame didn't look any happier about it, of course. "I can't believe I did that," she muttered.

Yozora's reaction to those words was an unintelligible string of what Negi presumed were mumbled obscenities.

"And still, you're thinking that things went pretty well, all told, aren't you?" Chisame hissed, abruptly rounding on him.

Negi took a wary glance towards Yozora, who seemed to have stopped at the same time as them, and after a moment of doubt, he offered meekly to Chisame, "We managed to avoid incarceration, didn't we? That counts as a -"

"Oh, shut up," Chisame snapped at him. She looked intently at Yozora. "Well, why aren't you asking anything?"

"Because I don't care," the older girl growled, fists balled up at her sides.

"You don't?" Chachamaru asked quietly.

"Of course not! Why should I care to begin with?"

"Aren't you at least curious?" Chachamaru asked again. "No doubt, you'd appreciate some sort of explanation."

"I'm sure I'll be much better off without one."

"Then why haven't you left us behind yet?" Chisame bluntly questioned.

"Chisame, please -" Negi pleaded.

Yozora spun around on her heels and hissed at Chisame. "How can you do this to your stupid brother?!"

"What about him?" Chisame asked back. "We barely talk to each other anyway! It's not like he'd worry about it anyway!"

"Of course he would! Don't you even know him enough to know he's a huge worrywart who constantly frets about the stupidest things?"

"Are we talking about the same guy? The apathetic loser who doesn't care about anything that happens around him?"

"Well, he certainly worries more than _you_ about your younger sister!"

Chisame reeled back as if she had just been slapped.

Yozora angrily rubbed the side of her nose. "Argh, just look at you're making me do, bitch. Making me defend Kodaka!"

"There's no shame in defending those we like," Chachamaru observed.

"What the hell are you saying? I don't like him!"

"But you're part of the same club, a club specifically formed to establish friendships, aren't you?" the tall guy gently asked.

Yozora shot him a killer stare. "That doesn't mean - no, wait, what's it to you? How do you even know that much about me, anyway?"

Negi breathed very deeply, then said, "Because I'm your faculty adviser."

Yozora sneered. "Funny one, pervert. But I damn well know who's our club's adviser, I strong-armed him into the role myself, and you sure as hell aren't dumb little Negi Springfield."

Negi blinked. "- dumb?"

Chachamaru flexed her fingers.

Chisame almost chuckled, for the first time in the whole day. "No, of course, he's just dumb old Negi Springfield."

That time, Chachamaru's fingers didn't flex, however.

Oblivious to that development, Chisame nodded her head towards Yozora. "Hey, this is when we take her into an alley -"

"WHAAAAAAAAT?!" asked Yozora.

"- and you erase her memory, right?" Chisame finished as if such a scream had never been voiced.

Yozora, not understanding that last half but being worried enough about the first one, looked all around the conveniently empty street and calculated her chances for a clean getaway. Damn, they weren't good, were they? Maybe she should start investing on martial arts lessons, but that was such a bother, maybe some pepper spray, or -

Negi sighed tiredly. "No. It'd be pointless. I'm not going to do that anymore. Not when my project specifically aims for the gradual revelation of the truth, when humanity is ready"

"Well, it's obvious she isn't ready yet!" argued Chisame. "And when did you even bother to do that in the first place, anyway?"

Silencing her for the moment with a pleading look and a whispered, "Trust me," he walked over to the slowly backing away Yozora and, before she could do anything, he placed his strong hands on her shoulders and spoke in a low voice. "I am Negi Springfield, and I'm a mage. I'm also deeply sorry you had to learn it this way -"

Yozora kicked him in the balls as hard as she could.

A few minutes later, thick tears of cartoony pain flowed from her eyes as she sat on a park bench, staring at her bruised foot, once Chachamaru knelt down to take her shoe and sock off so as to better examine it. "At least tell me you felt it!" she yelled to Negi, who had sat down by her side, a heartily laughing Chisame standing at his other side.

"Um, well, I did feel it, in a way, yes, but if you're asking me if it caused any pain -" he began, he thought quite reasonably.

"Fuck you, asshole!" Yozora roared.

* * *

Within the Mahora Mary Magdalene Church, in a heavy state of rebuilding since the Grail War, one Takayama Maria stretched her short arms and yawned cutely.

"Uwaaaaaa! Everything's so boring around here now! I almost wish someone had picked me as a club adviser or something!"

Kasuga Misora gave the diminutive sister a frowning, intrigued glare. "Why are you saying that all of a sudden, out of the blue?"

"I dunno. I felt like it, for some reason?"

Cocone Fatima Rosa tossed an extra broom her way. "If you're so bored, start helping us already."

Maria just turned around and went back to napping.

"Man, how come I don't get to do that?" Misora protested.

"Because you don't enjoy the excuse of being a ten-year old girl!" Sister Shakti said to her pupil as she loomed behind her. "Misora, get back to work!"

* * *

_Elsewhere:_

"Ah, it's you, Natsuki. Come in," Mai ushered her in with a subtle nod, stepping aside. "Nice to see you again!"

"Likewise," the black haired girl nodded sparsely, wearing a simple white T-shirt with jeans instead of her usual biker leathers. Shizuru's influence was slowly rubbing off on her, Mai thought. Maybe in two years or so she'd be wearing dresses...

Nahhh.

Natsuki was now looking all around. "Where's Mikoto?"

"Out there, playing," Mai said, closing the door. "Natsuki, is there something bothering you? Because you look -"

"Well," her fire-forged friend answered somewhat stiffly, "it's not that I've just heard about any actual crisis, or anything like that. It's something that, to be honest, shouldn't be troubling me at all, so it doesn't, but still, since I was in the neighborhood, anyway ..."

"Uh-huh?" Mai said when it was clear Natsuki had run out of excuses.

Kuga breathed out. "I overheard Shiho talking about how Negi-sensei was having sex, and you were the first one to learn about it. Is that true?"

"Oh, that," Mai said coldly, making a mental note to give Shiho a brutal beating. She knew she'd never carry it out, but it was still something nice to think about. "No, it isn't true."

"Oh. Well, not like I cared much either way, but that's still a relief -"

"It's not true because it was Mikoto who learned it first, not me," Mai finished.

"Ahhh," Natsuki slowly said. Then hummed. "And you aren't going to do anything about it?"

"Not really, no."

"Seriously? For you of all people to say that -"

"I'll choose to interpret that as 'You are a person of solid values' instead of 'You are incredibly nosy'," Mai sighed as she sat next to Natsuki on the couch.

"You know my opinion of you is the former, not the latter," Natsuki said, completely serious.

"Yeah, I know. Sorry. I was trying for some levity. Look, Natsuki, it's a complicated situation ... first of all, who was Shiho talking with when you overheard her?"

"Slave-kun," Natsuki replied.

"Figures," Mai frowned. "And for the last time, Natsuki, he's not a slave of the Student Council. That would imply Shizuru-san is a slave driver, wouldn't it?"

Natsuki actually smiled faintly. "Liking someone doesn't mean you have to be blind to their faults, Mai. As for him, don't worry, he's said he won't tell anyone until we've figured this out, at least. He wanted to come himself and tell you, but well ... female dorm, and it's not really the kind of thing that should be discussed over the phone."

"No, no, it isn't," Mai agreed.

"So, why won't you do anything about it, anyway?"

"Because it's not really any of my business. Isn't that enough of a reason?" Mai sounded really tired now.

"For me, yes. But you're the one with the solid values."

"You are the person with the best values I've ever met, Natsuki," Mai replied, meaning every word. "Me ... well, you know how it is. I can't help making concessions when I learn there are ... special circumstances involved. And I'd love to tell you about them, really, but ... it's something I more or less promised not telling anyone-"

Natsuki hummed. "Let me make an educated guess. Either Negi-sensei or one of his roommates is going away, probably forever, and they want to be as close as they can before that, and that touched your heart."

And what happened, then? Well, in Mahora they say, that Mai's purple eyes grew three sizes that day. "How did you know?" she rasped.

Natsuki considered how to answer for some moments, before saying, as softly as she could with a considerate sad smile, "As I said, it was just a guess. Because that'd be the best way to convince you to keep a secret."

Mai lowered her gaze. "That hurt, Natsuki."

"I'm sorry. But you deserved the truth."

She sighed. "I guess. Well, basically, yeah, that's it, although I don't want to go into too much detail."

Natsuki crossed her legs and tapped on a knee. "I see. So that's why he delegated his classes to that little albino creep? Honestly, that guy reminds me too much of Nagi, but humorless. Although that is a change for the better, I suppose."

"In a way," Mai shrugged. "Can we trust Shiho to keep herself from telling more people?"

Natsuki smirked.

"You threatened her, didn't you," Mai said.

Natsuki looked at her own fingernails, casually. "I imagine she may have taken it that way. I prefer to think of it as a promise of grievous physical harm rather than a threat. And we're all friends now, and friends never break promises, do they?"

Mai smiled. "Thank you, Natsuki."

"You're welcome."

There was a more or less long pause.

"So, can you get me a meeting with Konoe-san?"

"Eeeehhhh?"

"I kind of need tips on what do Ojous from Kyoto like," Natsuki admitted, looking aside with a pink shade on her cheeks. "N-Not that I want to take it as far as she and her bodyguard have gone, but - it'd be nice not to be stuck every time I talk with Shizuru. We have no tastes in common, we have way too different backgrounds ... and I'm mostly lost at what to do about it." She coughed softly, being truly grateful Minagi wasn't around.

After a few moments of stunned silence, Mai nodded very quietly. "Okay. I'll see what can I do."

* * *

Yozora had to begrudgingly admit that the boy might possibly have used magic to heal her foot. (Negi was no Konoka, but he had mastered almost as much of healing magic as Yue had.) Now the three of them, after that weird Chachamaru girl excused herself to rejoin the other weird girl she called her Master, were gathered in the relative peace and quiet of Chisame's room.

"So, do you live alone?" Yozora asked, just to break the nearly painful silence somehow after Chisame brought her a can of soda from the fridge. (She was no Konoka either, damn it, and she wasn't going to bother brewing tea for something like this!)

"Actually, I'm supposed to room with Hakase, you know, the genius girl," Chisame sat at the other side of the table, next to Negi. "But she spends almost all of her time at her lab, so she only leaves a few minor things here, and sleeps in the bunk above mine every once in a blue moon."

"Ah." Yozora tried to remember ... she supposed that Hakase was the same Hakase Rika often went on and on and on about, mentioning how sexy she was and how much she'd love to perform strange sexualized experiments on her if she only ever noticed her and her come-ons. (Yozora always had taken that as a sign that Hakase girl was surely blind and deaf.) "And does Kodaka know anything about any of this? I mean, other than the whole sex thing? About your being ... this guy's magical disciple, or apprentice, or whatever you call it?"

"I'm not his apprentice," Chisame seethed. "I'm his Ministra Magi. Big difference."

"Explain," Yozora coldly commanded.

"Bite me."

"Basically," Negi said to quickly cut off further arguments of the two volatile young women, "we have established a Provisional Alliance marking us as Magister and Ministra. That doesn't imply she's learning magic under me, but rather, our association has lent her powers of her own, ones that even someone uninitiated in the ways of spellwork can master with enough practice."

"Right, I think I get it," Yozora nodded. "It's like becoming a mutant, right? I mean the glamorous ones, those who fight with that Magneto guy, not the deformed ones who live in the sewers."

"... more or less..." Chisame sighed.

"Well, does Kodaka know about that?" Mikazuki pressed on.

"No," Chisame growled. "Do you think a good sibling would drag their family into something like this unless it's absolutely necessary?"

"Point," Yozora conceded begrudgingly. "And then, how does it go from here? Are you planning to hide that from him forever, or what?"

"I don't know!" Chisame admitted. "I'm still working this out! Hell, until a few months ago, I was as unaware of these things as you were this morning!"

Yozora's sharp stare didn't go any easier, but shifted towards Negi instead. "You know he's gonna be pissed off at you if he ever learn about this, right?"

"I guess I couldn't fault him," he sheepishly said.

"Hell no. And he'll kick your ass," Yozora added.

"Only because he'd let him to," Chisame mumbled, taking another sip from her own can. "So what's your big plan? Telling Kodaka?"

Yozora frowned, mixed emotions warring within her. Her refusal to show she cared and her apprehension towards what those weirdos could do to her were in open combat with her wish to rub their faces in the way that she could bring their house of cards down.

Chisame then did the unexpected and slammed a cellphone before her, on the table. "Do it," she ordered.

Yozora blinked. "Ah?"

"Ahhh?" echoed Negi.

"Quiet, you," Chisame told him before addressing the black haired one instead. "If you're going to do it, do it now and strike the iron while it's still hot. Save us the fucking preliminaries and let's go straight to the big event already. That is, if you've got the balls!"

"Language," Negi chided.

"Sorry. Got carried away," his Ministra huffed.

With an icy sneer, Yozora slapped the cellphone aside, grunted, "Don't tell me what to do!", stood up, turned around, and left, stomping each step.

Chisame looked at Negi after the door was slammed. "So."

"Hmm?"

"Aren't you going after her?"

"I don't think it'd be wise. I doubt she's in the mood to talk about it with anyone right now."

"And who would believe her anyway, right?"

"Right. I hate leaving things to chance, but ... if I follow her, she's going to take it as a sign of hostility, or worse. Oh, Chisame, what should I do?" he said, almost sounding like a child again.

Damn. It was time to show that adviser pedigree, wasn't it? Why was she supposed to be wise? She'd just managed to remain somewhat saner than the rest of them. "Ehh ... don't beat yourself up over it. You're right, she's the type that bottles everything inside." It took one to know one, after all. "You could get Asakura to spy on her with her Artifact, but then you'd have to explain why."

"No, no, I can't do that," he shook his head. "I'd trust her with my life, but even so, she mustn't ever learn about this."

* * *

_Downtown:  
_  
Haneoka Sei considered herself to be a moral person. In this she was mistaken; most people who consider themselves moral people are, and the revelation of the same is usually just as unpleasant for them as it was for Sei. She was coping with the realization that her principles were for sale - as demonstrated by her acceptance of a rather large 'tip' earlier that day - by spending her ill-gotten gains on coffee at a local coffee house, and complaining about the situation to the remarkably patient person who'd been sitting at the table beside hers when she'd arrived.

"I mean, okay, if people want to duck into the change room for a little make out time, you'd probably look the other way for a while," she explained. "But those two? Clearly having sex! So much, so loud, they even made another girl, in the next room, start to... touching herself! What the hell is the world coming to, when middle school students are popping into change rooms to have sex!" She drank her coffee, then continued, a little more quietly. "I mean, I can see what she saw in the guy. Really, really hot for a Westerner. I think he was English, or something. That smile of his made me go weak at the knees. But dammit, no matter how hot you are, you shouldn't be having sex in a change room! Don't you think?"

"I agree completely," said Asakura Kazumi. "Tell me more about these two, okay?"

* * *

Asuna stared at Mai across the kitchen table.

Knowing she was at a disadvantage there, Mai just up held her hands before herself. "I'm telling you, this isn't my fault."

"Indirectly, it is," Asuna disagreed. "How many of your friends know about this by now, then?"

"Only Mikoto, my boyfriend, and her." Mai pointed at the black haired girl sitting at her side, with her fists balled up on her own lap. "Shiho doesn't count as a friend, really."

"Okay, then, how many of your _enemies_ know?" Asuna asked again.

"I'm not sure you could call her an enemy either, at least not anymore, although-"

"Asuna, please," Konoka gently said, giving a single pat to her friend's head. "It couldn't be helped! Now, Kuga-sempai, I'm no expert on relationships myself, and my family and Fujino-sempai's have only had occasional dealings, but I'd still be glad to help you!"

Natsuki had begun to wonder what the hell had moved her to go there and ask for this. "If it's too much of a hassle for you, you don't have to-"

"Nonsense!" Konoka laughed. "What if we make it a double date with Setchan and me? That way, I can show you how it's done step by step."

"You mean you'll teach the President how it's done, right?" Asuna piped in. "Because from what I can see, she's more like Setsuna, and you're more like the - wow, that's a really nice menacing glare you've got there, Kuga-sempai. I'd give it a six!"

Natsuki finished glaring at her, then returned her attention to Konoka. "I'm not too sure, really. I mean, I appreciate the thought." She was still getting used to saying such things, but it usually grew easier each time she did it. Not so much this time, though. "But, isn't the purpose of a date to provide, well, private time for the ... daters, right? That's the term, isn't it?"

Konoka gave a half-sigh. "If you have to ask that, it's because you still aren't ready to do dates on your own, Kuga-sempai. Knowing is half the battle, after all. Let's go step by step, and we'll get there gradually. For your first date, it'll be better if you are with others, so you don't feel too intimidated and lost. In any case, there's no need to go too far on the first date."

An ominous thunder was heard in the distance.

Negi walked in, taking his shoes off and setting them beside the door, next to his bags of just bought clothes. "Tadaima - oh, good afternoon, Tokiha-san, Kuga-san. What a nice- -"

"Negi-kun, Kuga-san now knows we are fucking, too," Konoka simply said, with a wide smile. "So I'm helping her with her relationship with President Fujino, since apparently I have all the confidence she still lacks. So, how was your day?"

"Ahhhhhh ..." Negi trailed off, struck by shock, before managing to say, "Language, Konoka. Language."

"Sorry, Negi-kun!"

Kuga buried her glowing red face between her hands. What had possessed her to come to these people for help? Was she that desperate about her relationship growing stagnant? Well, okay, she was, but still-!

Konoka brought her hands together. "So, Kuga-sempai, what do you think about tomorrow by evening? What kind of movies does Fujino-sempai like?"

"I ... I'm not sure, actually."

"Well, does she like the aquarium?"

"I have no idea."

"Dancing?"

"I'm not even sure she knows how to dance. I imagine she does, she'd have to, with all her social commitments, but ... I don't. Can that be taught in a day?"

"No. Well, not by me, anyway. How about the theater?"

"I couldn't say for sure."

"Video games?"

"I don't think so, but who knows?"

"... the circus?"

"Is there a circus in town?"

Konoka's smile faltered just a little. "Okay, I can tell this is going to be a bit of a challenge, but that should make it more entertaining."

"Not that you're doing this for your own amusement," Asuna cut in.

"Oh, of course nooooot ..."

Mai was staring speculatively at Negi. She broke off, chuckling faintly.

"Uh, is something wrong, Tokiha-san?"

"I was just thinking that I might want to have you give Tate some gentlemanly lessons, and suggesting we also go on a double date between you, Kagarazuka, him, and me, but that'd turn it into a complete sex farce, wouldn't it?"

"It's not going to turn into a sex farce!" Natsuki protested.

Another roll of thunder.

"... what's up with the weather, lately?" Asuna asked as she checked the forecast.

* * *

_The next morning:_

Hasegawa Kodaka, seventeen years old, only male child of Hasegawa Hayato and his late wife Airi, was, despite appearances, a rather difficult person to interpret correctly. Those who weren't close to him believed him to be a rough delinquent, an asocial miscreant, just because of his blond hair and his reserved, introverted attitude. Those who, for some reason or another, got close enough to him long enough to see past those first impressions, even his relatives, tended to think of him as a pushover, an apathetic human pinball who was flung through life by the whims of others.

As a matter of fact, while there was some truth to the later view, it was far more complex than that, and while she refused to acknowledge it even to herself, Yozora of all people probably understood how difficult it could be to read Kodaka, and anticipate his reactions. That was why she felt so nervous ... agitated ... uncomfortable, yes, that was the word ... about what she was about to do. It wasn't like she cared much about the outcome, of course, it was just ... she didn't like, in general, to do things without knowing how she'd end up.

That was it. Yeah.

And that was why she had wanted to get it out of the way and out of her system as soon as possible, and that was why they were there now, so she could strike the iron while it still was hot, because at least in that, Taka's sister had been right, and...

(Had Chisame been there, she'd have realized how wrong she had been in her judgement of Yozora, and how foolish it had been to trust her to keep things quiet. But then, despite Chisame's normally accurate instincts for judging others, which were as good as her capacity to judge herself was bad, and despite her seemingly predictable facade, Yozora was just as difficult to predict as Kodaka. Cynics might have said that made them a good match, but normally even cynics dreaded Yozora's wrath).

"Kodaka," Yozora said after dragging him all the way behind the building, after classes, but before the club's daily meeting. "I have something really important to tell you."

"Ah?" he asked, sounding more vaguely annoyed than anything else.

"Yersterday, I was shopping for clothes at the mall."

The explanation stopped there, and then Yozora seemed to find her own feet particularly interesting.

"... and?" finally asked Kodaka.

"I happened to be in the dresser next to your sister's as she ... um ... she ..."

She stopped yet again, with a bright red face, and Kodaka blinked, mystified. "Which one of my sisters?" he finally asked, somewhat more interested but just as confused still.

Finally, Yozora exploded, "THE SLUTTY ONE WHO FUCKS GUYS IN THE STORE WHERE EVERYONE CAN HEAR THEM, THAT'S WHO, YOU IDIOT!" And then she ran away.

_Well,_ she told herself as she ran, _that was easier than expected, at least!_

Kodaka blinked a few times, stupefied, then pulled his cellphone out. "Sora-nee? What's this I just heard about you fucking men in department stores?"

Hard to predict, that boy.

* * *

She had stopped running when she reached the middle of a deserted playground for the elementary and kindergarten students, near the slide adorned with the figure of a huge Emperor Penguin. She sat on one of its edges to brood in silence, and across the world, perched on a gargoyle and waiting for dawn, the Batman felt a kindred spirit.

She looked around, at the seemingly average, yet oddly special, place that reminded so much of that one from her childhood, where she -

* * *

_They rested on their backs on the sand, panting, covered by bruises but smiling widely. (You should have seen the other kids.)_

_"We're gonna get a good scolding over this," 'Sora' said._

_"Yeah," 'Taka' agreed. "But I don't think my parents will be too angry. With my little sister almost here, they're too busy to ... well ... to do anything else."_

_"But you sound happy."_

_"Yeah! Why wouldn't I be? I'll have a new sister!"_

_"You already have two, and I don't see you partying over it."_

_Taka rolled his clear eyes. "But they aren't babies, duh."_

_"What's so great about babies?" she asked, but whatever he would have answered next was lost forever to the What Ifs when they noticed a tiny girl with a dry expression and light brown hair approaching._

_Yozora frowned. That was Taka's little sister. They never interacted much, but there had been some dislike between them from the moment they first met. Yozora suspected the little girl might be jealous Yozora was closer to her brother than she was, but then, she never made any attempts to get any closer to him either, so it surely was all her own fault. That she was coming to them now was highly suspicious in itself. Maybe she was going to tell her parents about the fight they had just won? That was why Yozora thought siblings were nothing but -_

_"Chi-chan?" Taka sat up, rubbing dirt off his face. "What are you doing here?"_

_"Kodaka," she replied, "I was looking for you. Dad wants to talk with us, right now. He says it's something about Mom."_

* * *

Somehow, Yozora felt an annoying urge to rub her eyes, so she did. Damn wind surely had blown some of the sand in her eyes.

"Ah, there you are, Yozora," Kodaka's voice said from behind her.

She grumbled bitterly. "Why did you come here?"

"Well, this is the only place around here that looks the most like the park where we used to play around, so I figured you might come here."

She stamped a foot on the sand. "Is it? It's just a coincidence, then! I was just passing by and stopped to rest! What a joke, that you suggest this means anything to me just because of _that_. Why do you always think you're the center of the universe?"

"Whatever. I'm not going to discuss that. Look, I just spoke to Sora-nee. She says you must have been mistaken, she didn't even leave the house yesterday. From her reaction, I believe her. She never was the type to fool around anyway, and she'd tell us if anyone had taken advantage of her against her will."

She turned around and stared at his face, eyes wide. "What? You idiot! I wasn't talking about her!"

Kodaka's soothing face, such as it was, turned into a scowl. "Hey, hey. Kobato's only a kid, and she's a complete innocent. So she plays the vamp often, but she isn't even aware of the implications-"

Yozora facepalmed. "Seriously, how stupid can you be? Of course it's not Kobato! I meant your sister Chisame! That one!"

He seemed badly shocked for a moment. "What ... Chisame? No. No, no, no. No, not just no, but actually hell no. Chisame is as no-nonsense as they come. At least Sora-nee is a romantic at heart, but Chisame... Are you sure you didn't see someone else? Chisame's type is very common. Hell, that Asuna kid from her class looks almost like her, just red-haired and with mismatched eyes."

"I know what I saw, Kodaka!" she protested.

"How can you be that sure?" he insisted.

_Because I was masturbating as I watched them, very closely, you idiot. Because I'm really a damn slut who gets excited watching dirty things, and I'm no better than Meat or Rika. Because I am -_ Yozora looked aside and rubbed her left hand.

"See?" Kodaka sounded vindicated. "You can't be sure, can you?"

"I am!" And she tilted her face back towards him, eyes shining in rage. "How can you be that damn sure she'd never do that, anyway?!"

Kodaka blinked, doubted, shifted on his feet aa bit, and finally said, in a very low voice, "Because she's a shotacon."

"Ah?"

"Yeah, well, she'll never admit it out loud, but we know she's in love with her teacher, you know, Negi-sensei," he mumbled, looking down. "Just like all girls in his class, apparently. It's creepy, I know, but ... there's something about that boy, something that isn't natural, don't you think? I mean, no one gives him a hard time over being red-haired, or about being from England, or -"

Yozora sneered. "See? There you go again. Always thinking the world spins around you."

"Eh? No! I was just commenting, that's all. Anyway, we can tell. From the way she talks about him. She respects him. Chisame. _Respecting someone._ Admires him, even! You've gotta know her to guess it, but if you read between her lines, then it's bloody obvious. And Sora-nee once found several pictures of him between her things, and when Chisame found out, she went ballistic and ... never mind. So, even if she were dumb enough to do that with someone while still in middle school, it'd never be with -"

"So you're telling me I'm lying," Yozora accused.

"No, not at all, just that you're confused, it happens to everyone."

"So I'm not a liar, I'm just blind and deaf and can't tell your damn sister apart from someone else when she's fucking around under my damn nose!"

"Will you keep it low! Someone might overhear you and get the wrong idea!"

"To hell with that! Like I care! Fuck you and your stupid slutty sister, Taka! If you prefer to believe her over me, fine!" she jumped back to her feet and stomped her way off, angrily, without looking back at all.

Kodaka chose not to go after her. Instead, he sat down where she had been, and sighed.

Why were women so bloody complicated?

* * *

_Why are women so complicated?_ Negi thought as he tried to keep himself focused on his work, going over the latest batch of legal documents Fate had given him for consideration. Not that Negi was totally sure this one would make a difference either. It was frustrating; as of late, he had been finding that Earth's governments and financial powerhouses barely took them seriously, unlike those of Mundus Magicus. Even with the support of the Yukihiros, Konoes and Nabas, whose influence actually mattered less on a global scale than Negi had expected, they were having a harder time than expected being taken seriously, and few were willing to risk millions for the sake of another world, which was frankly disheartening. Perhaps they would have to reach further. He was giving serious thought to the idea of approaching Tenjouin-san and Daidouji-san.

But of course, that would mean having to deal with more females, and right now, Negi wasn't certain he was up for that task.

"I understand, Sempai. Yes. Tomorrow night, of course. No, I'll tell Setchan later. No, she won't mind! Tee-hee! Of course, well, bye!" Konoka was finishing her important call now. After which she exhaled a long, heartfelt sigh.

Asuna looked up from where she rested on her stomach on Konoka's butt, in panties and a light T-shirt, no shoes or socks. "So, it's still a go?"

"She didn't sound that enthused," Konoka began slowly, before smiling brightly, "But yeah!" She made a V-sign with her fingers. "You sure you don't want us to tell her about your project, Negi-kun?"

He shook his head. "No, it's okay. Not yet, at least. Besides, it's your evening. Use it to have fun ... as long as you remember coming back safely and before the curfew."

"They're going with Setsuna, what's the wo- Ohhh, all right, I won't jinx it," Asuna stopped herself, right before smiling and thinking out loud. "Boy, this sure is a nice quiet evening! It's been a while since last time we could just relax without any-"

The front door rang.

"- crap," Asuna muttered.

"Oh, Asuna," Konoka said with faint disapproval, getting up from her chair and heading for the door. "When, when will you learn?" Shortly after, the other two heard her voice from the door asking, "Ahh... sorry, do I know you?"

"I want to talk with Sensei," a girl's dry, harsh voice said, making Negi bolt upright, and Asuna raise an eyebrow. "Is the little fucker here, or is he screwing more girls in malls?"

Asuna looked at Negi. "Wait, what? Did I hear that right?"

Negi hid his face in a hand palm. "Sorry. I wanted to tell you, whenever I found the time for it and I thought you'd be ready, but -"

"Negi-kuuun!" Konoka called out. "There's someone claiming being a friend of Chisame-chan here!"

"I'M NOT HER FRIEND!" Mikazuki Yozora's voice boomed through the apartment.

Asuna blinked. "Wait a sec, did you and Chisame-?"

Negi shrank back, shielding himself with his arms. "I didn't mean to! My tongue slipped, and she figured it out, and and and things happened from there! Please wait until she's gone to hit me!"

"Ah?" Asuna said. "Hit you? Over ... oh, yeah, over that. Well, I suppose I should be mad, but-"

He looked utterly disconcerted. She wasn't mad? Something horribly wrong and scary was afoot here.

"HEY, YOU PERVERT, COME HERE AND SHOW YOURSELF IF YOU'RE A MAN!" the newcomer was yelling.

"Fiery, huh?" Asuna asked, putting some shorts on. "Let's see what she wants."

"Ahhhh ... yes!" he had to agree.

* * *

"- well, that's a nice story," Asuna said as soon as Yozora finished her angry tale, and Negi finished checking, for the fifth time, if the magical sound barriers around the rooms were holding. He didn't want to disturb the neighbors with shouted fights any more than with their sessions of sex. "So let me see if I got everything right. You saw him having sex with Chisame at the mall, then you told her older brother, but her older brother didn't believe you. That's a good older brother. Now I almost wish I could have one."

"That's it?!" Mikazuki yelled. "That's your reaction to learning the boy under your care, and the teacher who cares about you, is a perverted creep?!"

"Yep, that's it," Asuna confirmed. "Sorry to disappoint. Now what? Are you going to keep knocking on door after door with your scandalous story until someone throws the fit you're hoping for?"

"Asuna!" Konoka told her. "That wasn't nice!"

"She's right, Asuna," Negi said, taking his seat back. "Especially since it's all my faul-"

"Don't. Say. It," Asuna growled. "Last time I checked, Chisame was perfectly able to make her own decisions. So ... Mikazuki-san, right? I think you got the wrong people if you wanted to scandalize others about Negi's actions - not that they're any of your business anyway - because to be honest, we're as guilty as him."

"Asuna," Negi said, sounding as if he was swallowing a concrete block.

Yozora blinked several times, pale as a ghost. "What. What, what what what. No, what?"

"Well, I **am** kinda angry he chose to keep it a secret from me -" Asuna began.

"You already have too much on your mind," Negi feebly offered.

"Nonsense. There's a lot of empty room in there," Baka Red said. "Well, just to be perfectly clear, Lady, Konoka and me have been having sex with Negi as well, and we're not jealous types. Well, not too much, but Chisame is one of us, s o..." She shrugged.

"But, but, bu-but, why?!" Yozora gasped.

"Because I'll be going away forever soon, and we want to live our remaining days together as intensely as we can. Isn't that reason enough?" Asuna said, calmly.

"Going ... away?" Yozora's face twitched a few times in some ways Konoka found actually quite funny.

Asuna nodded. "It'd be difficult to explain. Well, not too difficult, but I don't feel like explaining it to you."

"And ... you have to?" asked Yozora.

Asuna nodded again.

Yozora sighed and relaxed back on her chair. "This has been so fucking weird."

"It happens," Konoka said comfortingly.

"That isn't very comforting," Yozora grunted. "I really can't understand you guys. If you're going to be separated, wouldn't you want to keep him away from other women until you're gone?"

"Why? To enjoy him all myself? That'd be horribly selfish," Asuna said. "And I care about the rest of my friends as much as I care about him." That wasn't exactly true, since she cared about Negi the most, but she had no desire to explain that properly to this near stranger.

Yozora seemed to be processing a completely alien concept. "Weird. All of you are even weirder than the people in my club. How do you manage it, then?"

"Well, it pretty much goes like they describe in Health class -" Asuna began.

"No, no, I mean, if you're so weird and creepy, how can you remain friends even in the face of all that?" Yozora elaborated. "I mean, my club barely can keep itself together, and we don't have to handle any of all that magical crap."

"What are your club's goals?" asked Konoka.

"Making friends," replied Yozora.

Konoka snapped her fingers. "Ah! You're the Neighbors' Club Negi-kun sponsors, aren't you?"

Yozora folded her arms and snorted. "Yeah, we are. So, how could you make ... friends when we have failed at it so much, and we've consciously spent months on it?"

"But Mikazuki-san, you already are friends," Negi told her. "For instance, you and Sena-san are just like Asuna and Ayaka-san."

"So they are mortal enemies?" asked Asuna.

"Damn straight," said Yozora.

"Being friends doesn't mean you're always going to see things eye to eye, or that everything will be smooth and perfect," Negi continued, now with a small drop of sweat attached to his head. "But that's okay, because friends sometimes fight and then make amends. Why, when I studied with my friend Anya in Wales -"

Yozora held a hand up. "We've heard that before, Sensei. I don't want any of that heartfelt cutesy crap. What REALLY brought you together so strongly?"

"In no small part, it was because of a highly dangerous string of quests to save the world and face the buried secrets of our pasts," Konoka offered helpfully. "That sort of thing tends to bring people together."

"War buddies, huh?" Yozora hummed. "Like the Spartans and all that crap?"

"There's also the fact, sometimes, competing for the same boy's attentions sort of helps girls realize they have a lot in common. As long as you don't end up killing each other, you'll end up becoming good romantic rivals instead," added the dean's granddaughter.

"So, what you mean is, if I compete with you over this twerp, my social life will improve?" asked Yozora.

"Hey, I'm not a twerp ... anymore!" protested Negi.

Konoka blinked. "Ummm, that isn't exactly what I meant," she replied, since she was too polite to say, 'No, that's not even remotely what I meant, you horrible person.'

Yozora had started pacing around the table. "But of course! To be popular and widely loved, you've got to be skanky and slutty, like Meat or Lindsay or Paris, and the rest will come to you easily. I can't believe, all this time, I had the answer under my nose and I never realized it!" She chuckled in a truly disturbing fashion. "Yes, yes, now I see."

"Uuuhhhhhh," Negi said dubiously. "Yozora-san, if you're thinking of staging such a competition of sorts around Kodaka-san, let me warn you, our circumstances were very unusual, and I don't think they can -"

Yozora stopped, her back turned to them. "Oh, that's completely right, Sensei. No way anything like that would work for a careless, milksop bum who doesn't even care about his ties with his loyal childhood friend."

"Am I missing something important here?" asked Asuna.

"Oh, come on, Yozora-san." Negi approached the black haired girl. "You know he isn't as bad as you are painting him to be. But either way, yes, it wouldn't be wise to stage a love competition around him or anyone else, because that only would bring MMMMPPPPHHHHH!" he eloquently finished when Yozora spun around, caught him in a fierce hug, and angrily mashed her lips against his.

"I can't freaking believe this," Asuna muttered as she watched Yozora grab the sides of Negi's face to keep frenching him clumsily, smashing the front of her body against his.

"Oh, I think I can," Konoka said. "She looks like the type who needs a lot of personal contact."

"I ..." Yozora remarked as she paused for a moment to breathe. "... don't ..." she continued after grinding her mouth against Negi's a second time. "... need that! I'm I'm just doing this because I want to!"

"But I don't -" Negi babbled, before he felt Yozora's bloodshot eyes squarely on his.

"What? Don't you want someone like me? I'm not as good as those who follow you on those crazy irrational adventures of yours? Am I worth that little?" she growled.

"Don't put words in my mouth!" he protested, grabbing her wrists and pushing her back, not hard enough to hurt her.

She still grimaced as if he had. "Oh, so you're the rough type, on top of everything. Well, I can take anything a man can dish out."

"I wouldn't be so sure if I were you," warned Konoka, coming behind Yozora and starting to undo her uniform's top. "Negi-kun is very, very strong. Isn't he, Asuna?"

"Ah..." the other girl hesitated. "... yeah. But what are you doing, Setsuna-san would -"

"This and that are completely different things," Konoka said, beginning to plant kisses on the back of Yozora's neck while her hands groped Mikazuki's small breasts over her simple white bra. "What matters is for your heart to stay true."

Negi backed a step away, more creeped out than anything. And the way Yozora-san was moaning, dear God. "Um, I'm not sure she wouldn't consider this a -"

Yozora, with another strange moan, leaned forward, resting her hands on Negi's chest as Konoka took her bra off, showing the perky and petite mounds of flesh. Negi's eyes bugged out. Yozora's face had become impossibly red and sweaty, and she turned her huge dark eyes up to him. "Annnhhh," she said.

"Was that a plea for help?" he guessed.

"One way or another, I imagine," Asuna sighed, before taking her top off, showing her own bare breasts. "Okay, I suppose it's important to start establishing good relationships with the other classes. The project is going to need more than us to work out, and maybe we've remained isolated for too long."

"What in the world are you saying?!" Negi cried as Yozora's shaky hands pulled the buttons of his shirt off, then sneaked underneath it to caress his hard, scarred torso.

_"I'm doing this, I'm doing this, I can't believe I'm doing this,"_ Yozora whispered, as if in a fever dream, marveling at how marked his body was. That mage life had to be tougher than she had imagined. Trembling violently, she kissed him again while Konoka tugged her skirt and panties down to her ankles, and then she kicked them off. Konoka's first finger up her vagina was her reward. "Aaa-aaaannnhhhh!"

She smelled so good. Different from his students, but nice and warm all the same. And now Asuna was behind him, undoing his pants and rubbing her breasts against his back, his instincts overcame his common sense. He was growing hard, very hard, but nothing of that made any sense, it was completely illogical and irrational, but then again, it seemed to be that way whenever the realm of the senses was involved, and, oh God -

Yozora, after feeling a big hard thing pressed against her lower stomach, pulled back and looked down in fear. She would have turned and run if Konoka hadn't been holding her from behind, still fingering her nethers and licking at her neck.

"Isn't Negi-kun's dick pretty, Sempai?" the Konoe girl purred, pinching Yozora's clitoris and making her scream. "It's nothing to be afraid of. You came here looking for it, so now you won't be going away without taking it. Right, Asuna?"

"Right," Asuna said, pumping the hard male organ between her hands as Negi groaned, seemingly powerless.

"I didn't ... come here ... looking for ... ahhhhh!" Yozora squeezed her eyes tightly as she and Negi were pulled along towards the bedroom. Konoka and Asuna looked at each other and nodded, they pushed the other two onto the bottom bunk, then slammed the door shut and locked it from the outside. They then promptly grabbed each other and began making out in front of the locked door.

"Ah," Negi panted, sitting up on the bed. "They are, this is, I mean, we couldn't possibly..."

"N-No, of course not, we can't, that is ..." Yozora said in the same shattered tone.

Then their eyes fell on each other's denuded form.

They stared. His erection grew even more swollen. Her vulva began leaking a slight small trail of translucent liquid.

"Please be gentle," she begged, begged with a tiny voice she didn't recognize as her own, so she had to be dreaming, which was a good thing, because only in wet dreams she would beg a man to fuck her, which was a very Rika thing to do, but she'd look for help later, after -

He nodded wordlessly, then gently pushed her down on her back on the mattress. She wrapped her agitated arms around his body, and then he breathed deeply and pushed in.

"Arrgh!" she cried out as she felt the sharp pain of the first time. She bit her tongue and lolled her head back, planting her feet down on the bed. It did hurt, it hurt so much, she wanted to stop, but the words wouldn't come out, and so she remained silent, bucking her hips along his as he fucked her, in slow and precise strokes that only stopped hurting after the first four minutes or so. And then, slowly, something else began to rise, between his questions she was blocking out as white noise in the symphony of her own pants and groans. Some hot sensation from her crotch, tickling her nerves, going up to her belly and chest, making her breathing burn. He was asking, he kept asking, if she felt good, if she wanted to stop, if she wanted something inside or outside ...

Inside or outside of what? She wanted to ask, but it would have taken effort, some effort she preferred to devote to bucking against him, holding him tightly against her, despite his nearly crushing weight, until -

Yozora's eyes flew fully open. "Oh. God!"

He was squirting deep inside of her, rattling his hips and chomping on the air.

What a day she was having.

* * *

_At the same time, at the Neighbors' Club Meeting Room:_

"Okay," Kodaka said. "In the absence of the Club President, I, as the second senior member, will dictate the goals of today's meeting."

Yukimura sighed blissfully. "Leave it to Aniki, to grab the helm and guide us with such strong determination during our hour of need."

Kashiwazaki Sena didn't lift her gaze from the galge she was playing. It had been recommended by the mysterious 'God of Conquests' in her favorite online board, so she had known it had to be good, and so far, it wasn't disappointing. "Mmm? What happened to the Weasel? Did she hurt herself?"

"No, she didn't," Kodaka said. _At least, I hope she didn't_. "She ... had some private matters to sort out today."

"A nervous breakdown?" A smile tugged at the corners of Sena's lovely pink mouth.

Kodaka blinked.

He must have been silent longer than he imagined, since before he knew it, Yukimura, Rika and Sena were all staring at him.

"Oh my God." Sena sounded sincerely impressed. "Don't tell me I got it right. It was only joking! Mostly."

Kodaka rasped. "I wouldn't call it an emotional breakdown. It was only a -"

Sena held a hand up. "Don't worry, Kodaka, it's okay. You don't need to tell us."

"Ah? Why?" Kodaka was truly astonished at this unexpected reaction.

"Because we have decided to start being respectful of Yozora-sempai's privacy?" Rika sounded almost disappointed.

Sena smiled evilly. "No. Because it would spoil the fun of asking her personally!"

Rika nodded sagely. "Indeed. Kodaka-sempai is very bad at telling stories anyway."

"Hey, hey, respect the second-in-command," Kodaka muttered.

Yukimura nodded. "Of course, Aniki. Then, tell us, what will we do today?"

Kodaka opened his mouth to give an inspired, ground-breaking answer that would mark him as a better leader than Yozora. After a rather long moment of silence, he realized he hadn't thought of any. "Ah ... for now, just continue doing whatever you were doing," he lamely said.

Nodding, Sena returned to her galge. Rika went back to looking for mecha porn in her laptop, and Yukimura continued serving tea in her butler uniform.

Kodaka placed a a hand against his forehead as he rested on his chair.

Who had ever said it was good to be king?

At least the tea was good.

* * *

Asuna finally let go of Konoka's ass and flipped around to lie on her back, sprawling her arms and legs widely. As she did, Konoka was just starting to recover, making small puffs and whiny noises, eventually reaching down to pick some leftover juices from her own vulva and lapping them up.

Asuna frowned. "Ew! Konoka! That's kinda gross."

"But we just were tasting each other's, Asuna!"

"Yeah, but those are your own. It seems ... wrong, doesn't NNNPPPHH!" she finished as Konoka pushed her fingers into her mouth.

"Fine, then **you** taste them, instead." Her friend smiled angelically before staring at the bedroom's door, from behind which groans and moans still could be heard. "Oh dear, Negi-kun is still giving Sempai a full royal treatment, isn't he?"

Asuna sat up on the floor. "Yeah. Boy, the rest of the Wings will be pissed off an outsider got there before them, won't they?"

"It's kinda too late to go back on it," Konoka shrugged and got up, heading for the door with a giggle. "Let's see how they're doing, okay?"

Asuna dusted herself off and followed her. "You're on."

Konoka unlocked and then pushed the door open, and they immediately saw Negi on his knees on top of Yozora, pulling out of her and yanking his member a few times before ejaculating on her torso with a long-drawn "Eeeennnhhhh!" White splashed all across her chest, neck and face, and she promptly began spitting out what had fallen into her mouth, bolting up on her butt.

"Gah! Gah! This stuff tastes horrible!" the senior girl complained, before shooting the other two naked females a fierce glare. "Well, are you happy now?"

"Are you?" asked Asuna, with a fist cocked on a hip.

Yozora pushed a sighing Negi aside and sat on the bed's edge. "I asked first," she muttered.

Konoka giggled again. "How many times?"

The older girl's blush somehow grew even more intense. "Four, counting this one. He came inside the first two, so ... fuck, don't you people know the first thing about condoms?"

"- what's that?" asked Negi, genuinely puzzled.

Yozora looked at him with a blatant expression of disbelief before she exhaled a sigh of frustration. "Forget it. If I'm going down, I sure as hell won't go alone." She began reaching around for clothes, remembered she had left them at the next room, and wrapped a bedsheet around herself instead. "You manipulated me while I was emotionally vulnerable so I wouldn't tell anyone, didn't you?"

Negi gasped. "I'd never do such a thing!" He quickly looked at his Ministra. "And I didn't ... did I?"

Asuna huffed. "Of course not!" And then she addressed Yozora. "Don't play the victim now, you! You started with the whole 'Oh, sex will make me popular or whatever' nonsense! Besides, if you let him finish inside, it was because you liked it, too!"

"To be fair, I think her real reasoning was more along the lines of 'Oh, sex will make me feel appreciated'," Konoka mused, with a finger on her own chin. "And it worked, didn't it?"

"My clothes," was Yozora's only reply, gesturing with a hand for the satisfaction of her demands. Negi quickly got up and walked out to get them.

After he was out of the bedroom, Mikazuki looked down and said in a low voice, "It ... didn't feel bad."

"Oh, really," Asuna smirked.

"Shut up," Yozora snapped. And then, "If I get pregnant over this, he'll better take responsibility, kid or not, you hear me?"

Asuna lost her smirk and stated as serious as she could be. "He is the most responsible person you'll ever meet."

"Well, yeah, you coulda fooled me today." As Negi walked back in, she yanked her clothes off his hands and began putting them on. "You'll come tomorrow to our next meeting, won't you? Or are you too busy for that too now?"

"Um, well, I'm sure I can find the time in my agenda." Which was probably true. Fate had insisted on taking the next meeting all for himself, claiming Negi wasn't the type who could negotiate with these particular investors. Negi wasn't sure why, although he had his suspicions those investors might be leaning towards the wrong side of the law, even if nothing had been proved against them. When he expressed his doubts to Fate, he would neither confirm nor deny, but still claimed Negi would have to accept the Gray Path applied to more than just magic. "Aren't you -"

"Mad?" Yozora asked him while pulling her skirt back up. "Don't be ridiculous. Do I look like a raped little girl or anything? I told you I could take anything you could dish out, with no problems." And then she began walking towards the door, with notable effort and keeping her legs awkwardly open.

Negi blinked a few times.

"Um, maybe I should -" Konoka began reaching into her drawer for her Pactio card.

"I'm fine!" Yozora barked.

* * *

Tokiha Mai hummed sweetly to herself as she swept her apartment's front doorstep. She was about to finish when the door next to hers opened, and out walked Negi-sensei, Asuna-san, Konoka-san, and a girl Mai thought she had seen around the campus a few times, even if she couldn't place her name at all.

That girl gave a startled, guilty-as-hell expression of shock as soon as she realized she was being seen leaving the place.

Mai gave her a good, long look. She studied her frozen features and rigid body language. She sniffed the smell softly wafting from her, and, although she was no Kotaro, she still could identify that sort of scent after that regrettable night at her most vulnerable spent with Reito-sempai.

Mai stared at the faces of her three neighbors, frowning more than slightly.

Negi hid his face in shame. Asuna looked aside and whistled innocently. Konoka just smiled impishly. "Ahhh, you keep catching us, Tokiha-sempai! Well ... yes, this is what it looks like! Tee-heee."

Mai sighed. "You know, my life as your secret keeper would be a lot easier if you didn't keep adding more secrets to the load on my shoulders."

"Sorry," Negi begged very softly.

Yozora looked back and forth between everyone, completely baffled, and let out a mechanical chuckle as her right eye winked spasmodically.

* * *

Inugami Kotaro knew he should be heading back home already.

Night was falling, after all, and Chizu-nee and Natsumi-neechan and probably even the old hag should be growing worried. Still, Higurashi-neesan and her mother had given him so much hospitality, it would seem rude to leave so soon. Right? Of course it would, so he remained where he was, resting on his back on a tatami in the guest room of the small house on the hill.

The other dog demon had been napping on a branch of a nearby tree, right out his window. From his angle, Kotaro couldn't see him, but his senses of smell and hearing still were more than enough to pinpoint him. They also told him when he jumped down the tree to join Higurashi-neesan as she walked outside the house, her steps mashing lightly on the grass, her perfume wafting subtly into Kotaro's nose.

He sat up on the tatami, perking his furry ears up.

"- still worried about him," she was saying as they walked further from the house.

The silver haired one snorted dismissively. "Forget him. He's just a punk kid who threw a tantrum against his caretakers. He'll go back and they'll make up as soon as he realizes what he's missing."

"I hope you're right," she sighed sadly. "If he lacks proper guidance and affection, he could end up badly, maybe as an arrogant, impulsive brute."

"Cute, Kagome," the demon in red snorted. "Cute."

Kotaro peeked out through his window, scowling. The nerve of that jerk, talking about him behind his back like that. And people wondered why he never looked out for those of his species. Truth be told, dog demons were never pack animals. As most of them were left alone at young ages, they didn't exactly establish strong mutual bonds through the majority of their lives.

He snuck out, mostly to see what the moron and Higurashi-neesan were doing. From a distance, Kotaro saw she had a bicycle and a large full backpack with her. When the two approached the old, decaying wooden well, and the imbecile carefully helped her down into it, Kotaro remembered what she had told him the first time they met, shortly after his fight with the silver haired mutt. Ah. So that was the famous gate to the past.

After they disappeared down into the darkness, Kotaro hesitated for a moment before walking towards the well, looking down into the black depths, sniffing warily, and then shrugging to himself. What the heck. Surely it would be better than spending time there, feeling sorry for himself. New butts to kick, and all that. If a far worse and weaker dog demon than him could make it, sure as eggs he could too and -

He landed on his butt at the mossy, wet bottom, sending dirt in all directions. He didn't hurt himself, of course. Well, other than a minor injury to his pride, that is. He had done nothing but fall into an old dark pit. There had been no mystic trip into another, magical world filled with fantasy and awe, although to be fair maybe karma had just decided he'd already had his fill of that for the year. It wasn't that he regretted this outcome, but it still made him feel frustrated and stupid. Just sitting there, at the rock bottom, like an abandoned pup left behind by his elders.

Again.

Of course, he could easily just climb back up. And he would, eventually, but not for the moment. For now, he just sat there in silence, thinking at the bottom.

Somehow, it seemed appropriate.

* * *

_Mundus Magicus:_

He whistled happily to himself as he marched down the wide road leading to the Gateport, with a bag easily four times as big as him on his back. What a haul, what a haul! as another famous pervert for the eras would have put it. Being a close friend and mentor to a world saving hero sure had its perks, and now he would return to Wales - and later Mahora - vindicated and covered in glory, to claim his rightly place in legend as one of those who -

"Are you Albert Chamomille?" a strong male voice asked.

He sighed, and turned around under the weight of his treasure to face the quartet of armored men on white horses. "Yes, yes, I am! Do you want some autographs? I am very busy, but I suppose, for a decent fee, my good heart could be persuaded to -"

"Do you have a license to sell Negi Springfield merchandise and memorabilia?" the man at the lead asked now.

Chamo blinked. "Ahh? I am Negi Springfield's familiar and greatest ally! This is an outrage! How dare you -"

"You still need written permission to distribute and slash or sell Negi Springfield merchandise and memorabilia, Sir," another of the men said. "There are no exceptions. It's a law signed by Governor Godel."

"Lord Godel, huh, figures," the white ermine grumbled in annoyance. "Well, I do have such an authorization, naturally, but it seems I have left it in my other coat today. You know, us world saving heroes have so much on our minds at any given time. I'm sure we can settle this with a small economic contribution to your noble cause?"

"No," the first man said.

"Absolutely not," the second man expanded.

"That would be like prostituting Lord Negi's purpose and cause," the third man huffed.

"No true ally or Lord Negi and Governor Godel would propose such a dishonest arrangement!" the fourth man barked indignantly.

_Shit! Of all guardsmen in this world, I had to run into four honest ones_! the ermine panicked.

"W-Well, of course I would never, I was just, ah ... testing you distinguished gentlemen ... for ... BYE!" he cried, dropping his load (not _that_ way!) immediately and running into the woods as fast as he could.

"AFTER HIM!"

"AFTER HIM!"

"AFTER HIM!"

"AFTER HIM!"

And so, Albert 'Chamo' Chamomille would be fittingly entertained for the foreseeable future.

* * *

**To be Continued.**


	3. Kazumi, Shizuru, Natsuki

These characters all belong to Akamatsu Ken, Kodansha, Sunrise, and a whole bunch of other people all across the world. None of them is mine, and none of them nets me any money, and none of them is intended to resemble any real people without parodic intentions.

Don't read this if you are a minor or easily offended.

Thanks to Darkenning for the inspiration, support and proofreading.

* * *

**Chapter Three:**

* * *

"You want to know about my plans for the future?" Asakura asked, smiling like she almost always did, while leaning back against the classroom wall. "Interesting question. It's really rude, of course, to answer a question with a question, so I hope you'll forgive me if I ask what prompts your interest. Which is technically not a question itself."

I think we can and should fast forward over this part. Copy-pasting is an easy and quick way to fill space without a lot of effort, but it's also to be avoided whenever possible.

_So, some time later ..._

Several minutes and a slightly smaller number of toe-curling orgasms later, Asakura poked her head out of the washroom door and looked down the hallway quickly before stepping the rest of the way out into it. "I think the coast is clear."

"That's nice," said a faint voice from inside the bathroom. "I'm considering drowning myself in one of the toilets."

The red-head let out a sigh. "Get out here," she said rather forcefully.

_And then, a wild Fate suddenly appears!_

"That guy is definitely going down," Asakura declared as she wrote "I will not cut Mr. Fate's class ever again" in English, over and over again on the board.

"What is a dunce, anyway?" Setsuna asked as she sat in the corner wearing a rather ridiculous-looking hat.

* * *

_At the same time, not too far..._

"I'm Nagi Springfield, Negi-sensei's cousin," he said, keeping a pleasant, affable smile on his face while crying and lamenting on the inside. Negi Springfield, now also a master thespian in addition to an awesome hand to hand fighter, great lover, prodigy mage, PR natural, excellent teacher, master of over a dozen languages, genius strategist and athlete far above Olympic levels. At least he's still an awful singer, and can't cook. "I happen to be a qualified teacher, just like Negi-sensei, so the Headmaster has allowed me to serve as your club's adviser during my cousin's absence."

Sena, Kodaka, Yukimura and Rika kept their eyes fixed on the handsome tall figure standing before the assembled Neighbors' Club, with a stiff, awkward-looking Yozora close behind him.

Slowly, a bubbling sound of pure increasing lust began to rise from the depths of Rika's throat.

Sena moved her mouth weakly a few times, barely whispering the rudiments of a greeting to herself.

Yukimura's expression remained collected and unmoved, but she did bow for the newcomer. "It's a pleasure, Springfield-sensei."

"Ah ... yeah, likewise here," Kodaka said, after briefly tossing a questioning gaze Yozora's way. Yozora didn't even seem to acknowledge it, which made him wonder even more. "It's funny, but ... I don't think Negi-sensei ever mentioned you."

Nagi gave a short, apologetic chuckle. "I imagined he wouldn't. We aren't too close; you could say we're never in the same place at the same time."

"Oh, I'd say it's the exact opposite," Yozora muttered.

"What was that?" Sena asked her.

"Nothing!"

"So, Sensei!" Rika spoke then, bubbly and enthused. "You're that young man who's been seen hanging around the female dorms so much lately, aren't you?"

"Ah?" Kodaka tilted his head aside to look at her.

Rika nodded firmly. "Rika has heard all the rumors, despite being holed up in her lab whenever she isn't here. Rika can overhear the sexy campus population chattering around her on her way from here and back, you know. Rika has excellent hearing, no matter how much others try to quickly walk away from her whenever they see her coming. So then, you're that man, isn't that right, Sensei?"

"Ah ... as a matter of fact, yes," he had to explain.

Sena's expression lost her dreamy attitude and changed into a steel-tempered scowl. "Explain," she demanded.

"W-well ... I'm living there, with Kagurazaka-san and Konoe-san," he had to admit.

Silence reigned.

It only was broken by Rika's sounds as she stuffed a tissue up her bleeding nose and gulped for air through her mouth.

"Excuse me?" Sena hummed. "That was okay for your cousin, who was only a child, but why would the Headmaster let you live there?" She felt so weird asking that. Normally, the Weasel would be the first one to jump in outrage at a pervert, but for some reason she was just standing there trying to meld into the background.

Nagi smiled, steeling himself. Now he would have to play his master card, his perfect excuse, the one had thought about so much. His perfect lifesaver for such a situation.

"Rest assured, Kashiwazaki-san, there's no danger at all in that situation, and there's no way I could take advantage of my roommates," he said, feeling like the vilest of the heels and trying to ignore Yozora's dry groan coming from behind, "... because ... because I'm gay!"

For no good reason, the theme music to Three's Company could be heard coming through the window.

Yukimura blinked.

Sena, on the other hand, stopped blinking, her eyes growing to a gigantic size. Finally, she swallowed a huge knot and reluctantly began to speak, "W-W-Well ... that changes everything, I suppose ... however -"

She was interrupted by a faint orgasmic cry from Rika, who had fainted where she was standing, with a delirious sweet smile and a geyser of blood from her nose weakening her quite quickly.

"AH! SHIGUMA-SAN!" Nagi rushed to her side.

The downed girl opened her eyes and giggled disturbingly in his strong arms. "Ahhh ... everything ... going dark ... but I couldn't go any happier ... unless ... would you and Kodaka please ... kindly undress and kiss each other while masturbating over Rika's dying body…?"

Kodaka didn't wait to know how would that one end up, for he was out the door and running for safety without looking back as soon as the word 'undress' was completed.

* * *

_Next door:_

Kyon, whose actual name doesn't really matter, was too busy organizing his folders of lovely Asahina Mikuru pictures in the computer of the SOS Brigade to realize what the Brigade's Commander-For-Life had been up to during her unusually long silence until he heard her slam a hand on the table before him.

"Wake up, Kyon!" barked the terribly cute but just-as-terribly unstable leader of the Brigade, startling the brown haired boy and also drawing the attentions of everyone else in the room. Short haired Nagato Yuki lifted her apathetic eyes from her book, but didn't bother to close it just yet. Mikuru stopped wiping the windows with a wet cloth and froze in a standard terrified reaction. The handsome Koizumi Itsuki left his card game of solitary aside and smiled in playful expectation.

"I'm perfectly awake," Kyon said, quickly closing the Images folder and opening the Weekly Schedule one before she could realize it. "What's the matter now?"

Suzumiya Haruhi frowned and waved a disc in front of his face. "Do you know what is this?"

"Should I?" he asked back.

"This," she said, not bothering with his question, "is the recording I have made of what has just happened in the headquarters of the enemy."

Kyon blinked. "You have bugged the Computer Club's quarters?"

"Of course not!" the attractive but bossy girl sneered. "Why should we care about those losers?"

"Then ... the teachers' lounge?"

"... no, they keep finding the bugs there and destroying them," Haruhi admitted.

"Let's see, in that case ... oh, I see. You have grown desperate enough to bug the Neighbors' Club, haven't you?"

"What? No!"

"Then - " Kyon hesitated.

"I wouldn't be desperate enough to do it personally! A General can't stoop as low as that! So Yuki did it for me."

"THAT'S EXACTLY THE SAME THING!" Kyon protested.

"No, not at all," Haruhi shook her head. "See, that's why you won't ever be a leader. Anyway! My tireless labors of espionage against those enemies of our glorious goals, led by the perfidious Mikazuki, have just yielded astonishing results!"

"Ah! Progress at last!" Itsuki clasped his hands together.

Haruhi narrowed her eyes. "What's with that 'at last'? Oh, never mind. I've just gotten breaking news about the mysterious man who has been seen around the girls' dorms!"

She smiled so smugly and puffed her chest up so much that Kyon felt it was his duty taking some hot air off before the cosmic balloon exploded. "What mysterious man are you talking about?"

Haruhi sizzled, greatly annoyed. "Don't you know anything? It's been hot in the rumor mill all week long. It's a really damn hot guy who has been hanging around with Negi-sensei's roommates. And check it out, it looks like he's Negi-sensei's cousin and he'll be taking his place as the adviser of that blasted society of evil."

"Is he also a teacher?" Mikuru shyly asked.

Haruhi nodded. "Or so he claims. But that's very fishy, don't you think? All of a sudden, Negi-sensei, the beloved naive teacher half the school crushes on, disappears. That creepy white haired albino takes over his duties as a teacher, and then this other guy steals his extracurricular activities and starts living with his roommates."

"Wait, living with girls in the girls' dorms? Why would they allow that?" asked Kyon.

"Because he's gay, duh. Or so he says. But I can tell he's lying! Lying! I have a damn good radar for whenever anyone is lying or hiding things from me!" Haruhi boasted loudly. "And eventually, sooner or later, I make those no-good liars pay, hard!"

A single trickle of cold sweat ran down Kyon's forehead. Mikuru looked she was about to cry. Itsuki's cheerful facade didn't change at all, but he crossed his legs awkwardly under the table. Nagato merely returned to her book, unfazed.

"So," Kyon sighed, "you're thinking that guy is hiding under a gay facade to live with those two girls, one of whom is the dean's flesh and blood granddaughter, to ... ahhh ... take advantage of them?"

Haruhi nodded. "After killing Negi-sensei, of course."

That made both Mikuru and Kyon choke loudly, and even Itsuki's subtle change in posture reflected some measure of shock. Only Nagato continued completely unaffected.

"Pardon?!" Kyon said.

"It's the most logical thing to deduce!" Haruhi wagged a finger. "The history of crime is chock-full of vicious family murders fueled by lust, greed and envy! Since the days of Cain and Abel, this scenario has repeated itself time and time again! Now look at what we have; a beloved school icon missing for days, with not a single sighting for almost a week now. Now, the self-professed child hater and the girl who sits on a pile of money above the reach of law who lived with them are coexisting in sin with his older, mysterious relative who arrives out of nowhere, while an obviously evil albino takes his place to enforce a cruel dominion over an unsuspecting student body! And we are all that stands between Mahora and that dark web of betrayal, deceit and murder!"

"What," Kyon said.

Haruhi pumped a fist against her chest and planted a foot on top of the table to give everyone a nice long look at her panties. "For the loving memory of Negi-sensei, we must find, expose and punish his murderers! Locate his body, and reveal those involved in this conspiracy, from the Neighbors' Club to even the Headmaster himself if needed! I know it will be difficult! I know it will be risky! However, it is the right thing to do!" She tightened a fist and held it high. "And there is no challenge the mighty SOS Brigade can't tackle! SOS! Together, we are going to reach the truth and make the guilty pay!"

She looked all around, to see this time even Itsuki wasn't clapping.

"Well?" she huffed.

Kyon sighed. "Remember what happened this past summer vacation?"

"This obviously is completely different!" Haruhi said. "The odds we could ever run into two false homicide cases one after another are minuscule! Come on, guys, even a blind man can see the ugly truth peeking out from beneath the stated facts here!"

Itsuki drew in a very deep breath. "You ... you are right, of course. We should at the very least investigate to the best of our capacities."

"Yes! That's it!" Haruhi smiled triumphantly. "So we'll march right there, tell them we're on them, and ask them where they hid the corpse!"

Mikuru made a strangled whiny sound.

"That's hardly standard detective procedure," Yuki observed quietly, still reading.

"Of course it isn't. I just wanted to know if you all had learned our lessons from the island incident," Haruhi allowed, hands on her own hips. "Regardless, this crime has just become our top priority! I want everything else put on standby in the meanwhile! Kyon! You will discreetly interview the neighbors of the late Sensei! Mikuru-chan! You and me will keep the heat on the Philistines next door! Yuki-chan! You will be coordinating our activities from here! Itsuki-kun! You will comb the rest of the campus! Any questions before we go into the details?"

"I have several," Kyon said. "How about -"

"Any questions NOT involving the possibilities of dropping this case?" Haruhi asked.

Kyon lowered his hand and grunted, "None at all, then."

* * *

Just as even the weariest river winds somewhere safe to sea, even the longest detention eventually comes to an end, and having spent far more time in each others company than they truly wished, Setsuna and Kazumi parted company with a short wave rather than any more effusive farewells. Setsuna's thoughts were elsewhere, anyway, having returned to the question of the future.

Starting with the early hours of that very same night, where she would escort Ojou-sama into some sort of meeting that definitely couldn't be a double date (since she surely had misheard Ojou-sama's announcement over the phone) with President Fujino and her own unofficial protector. That wasn't so stressing on itself, since she had followed Ojou-sama on Omiais and the likes before, but... so soon after their recent... carnal encounter, the mere thought of going out with her in an evening, even in the company of others, was enough to make mincemeat of her nerves. And that, without taking into account she had just been unfaithful to her, doing such lewd things with Asakura-san, except because, after all, she didn't have a rightful claim on Ojou-sama's hand or heart, not that it made anything od what she had done acceptable at all...

But even so, she couldn't and wouldn't reject Ojou-sama's kind invitation.

Despite the fact that Setsuna had lately demonstrated that she could and would seize the initiative, she was inclined to minimize that as a momentary aberration. For the most part, she felt like she was just going along with the flow, rather than making her own way towards the future that everyone else seemed to have a good idea about. What sort of worthless friend did that make her to-

Okay, in the interest of brevity, let's just do the highlights, again, shall we?

* * *

"Nooo!" Setsuna groaned. "That isn't a future! It's not even a delusion! Just a sick fantasy! What is wrong with -" At this point in her self castigation, she realized that she was not alone.

"You are soooo stupid," said Evangeline as she put her in a rather complicated shoulder lock. "You don't even know what's going on with them, do you?"

"Oh, hey, Eva-chan," said Asuna as she and Negi walked up. "Having fun with Setsuna, huh?"

* * *

"My disciples," Evangeline announced a few moments later in the resort. "We shall have a final lesson together."

* * *

"Yeah, that's the real deal," said Jack Rakan, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. "It's Grandma's Magia Erebea. Now that's something to see. It's a good thing I came."

"R-Ra-Rakan-san?!" Setsuna gasped. "Why are you here in Mahora?!"

"Well, I guess you can call it sightseeing or something," the tanned mountain of a man answered.

"That's not what I meant! Pure Magical World inhabitants shouldn't be able to come over to this side!"

Handwaving followed.

Magical battle ensued.

"EMISA STAGNET!"

"PERFECTUS PLASMATIONIS PER EMISIONEM!"

Their blows and spells boomed all across the resort, but the barrier keeping the arena mostly separated from those watching over blocked most of the truly deafening noise, softening to such a degree the remains of Ala Rubra and those who followed on their steps could keep a conversation without too much of a problem.

"You mean, Negi-sensei has become an immortal monster, like Evangeline?" Setsuna asked, startled.

"Kind of early to say for sure, but pretty much yeah," said Rakan, as he, Eishun and Albireo watched on.

"It is soooo cool," gloated Godel.

"You are a such a jerk," snapped Takamichi.

"Yeah. It's fucking unfair that twerp's got it while us hard working mages never stumble into those huge immortality gimmes," Lina Inverse mumbled. "Immortality would give me soooo much time to collect riches!"

Twilight Sparkle smiled, extending her brand new Princess Alicorn wings.

"See?" Inverse pointed at her. "That's what I'm talking about!"

"Be quiet, you," Queen Daenerys icily told her, rather unhappy at sitting next to someone named the Dragon Spooker/Slayer/Mass Murderer/Hitler.

"Immortality isn't such a big deal, anyway," Marceline Abadeer shrugged. "All it really means at the end is you've got more time to grow bored out of your skull."

Asuna shot Rakan an annoyed glare. "Really, did you have to bring everyone you knew from Mundus Magicus with you?"

"Hey, none of them objected at all when YOU visited!"

"Fine. Forget I asked anything. At least there's going to be plenty of girls to look after him, even if I'm not there to do it," said Asuna as she leaped down do join the battle.

"Wait, what do you mean, 'if I'm not there to do it'?" asked Setsuna, just a little too late for Asuna to answer.

"Oh, I guess you didn't know about the whole thing where she's going to go to sleep for a hundred years to save the Magical World then?" asked Albireo.

"Very well, Kagurazaka Asuna," Evangeline was saying. "I will be your opponent. This is your parting gift."

The literally ground shaking battle started again, now with an extra participant.

"JACULATIO GRANDINIS!"

"TOME ALKIS KAI ANALKIAS!"

Negi tightened a fist and took it back, preparing the devastating punch.

"DEXTRA EMISSA, SAGITTA MAGICA CONVERGENTIA FULGURALIS! ET ADDITIONAL KOSMIKE KATASTROPHE! ET DEXTRA EMISSA TITANO KTONON!"

"HEH, HEH, HEH!" Evangeline laughed with her black and red eyes shining demonically. "COME HERE, THEN!"

"Ugh, I have a bad feeling—" Asuna gulped softly.

Negi paused in mid-swing. His nose twitched as the icy air tickled inside of it. "Fweh..."

Evangeline blinked. "What?"

**"AAAT-CHOOOOOO!"**

When the dust settled down, Negi opened his eyes only to see Evangeline sitting on his face, giving him a closer view of a certain part of hers than he'd ever have wanted to.

"Oh?" the blonde vampire said.

"..." Asuna added, rubbing the back of her own head.

The fight looked to be over and all three combatants were of course quite naked as Setsuna jumped down and stormed over to slap Asuna across the face. "Why didn't you tell me?" she cried.

"... sorry," Asuna said.

"Is it just me, or is that a bit more of a passionate embrace than you'd expect of two best friends?" asked Eishun, frowning a bit.

"You really want to talk about that?" asked Albireo. Rakan was too busy leering to say anything.

Princess Twilight looked back and forth between Rakan's lecherous expression and the naked girls beneath and wondered aloud, "I'll never understand what's your species' huge fascination with being clothed or not."

"It's probably just the heat of the moment," said Kazumi.

"... when did you get here?" asked Takahata, startled.

"A while ago." Then Asakura's eyebrows went up and down as a drooling Paio Zi fondled her from behind. "You know, until two days ago, I'd have been kicking you all across this place now, so count yourself damn lucky..."

_"Oh, I doooooo!"_ the tiny dark skinned woman slobbered.

* * *

After the next objective hour/subjective day, Setsuna walked out the resort to meet her important not-a-date! with Konoka, leaving Negi, Asuna and Asakura behind for the next two objective hours/subjective days.

And so, this happened:

They walked together through the forest section of Evangeline's resort complex. It was an ancient, old growth forest, dense with yew trees that might have first flourished before the birth of Christ, along with oaks, ash, holly and hawthorn, all carefully transplanted from a Europe that no longer existed except in Evangeline's memories. Even in brightest daylight, it was dim beneath their boughs. In evening, as now, it called to mind stories of little girls dressed in red hoods and big bad wolves. Once upon a time, they hadn't just been stories, and the forest remembered that. Negi imagined that Evangeline liked to remember that too.

"So, what did you want to talk about?" he asked Asakura as she walked a little ahead of him, her arms crossed behind her back.

_Fast forward, fast forward, fast forward..._

Kazumi hesitated. The primal woman in her yearned to feel his release within herself, but it was drowned out by a slightly more sensible aspect of her own nature. With one last rock, she pulled back and off of him, seizing the meat stick and jerking it hard. Only a few strokes were needed to unleash his load onto her stomach and her panties.

"So naughty," she said, between gasps. "So naughty."

"Yes, I think so too," said a voice from behind her.

Asakura slowly turned to look in that direction, and flinched when she saw that the girl in the Peaceful Angel shirt didn't look all that peaceful at the moment. "Um ... how, how long have you been there?" she asked.

"Why did I know that would be your first question?" Asuna groused.

"Um, A-Asuna?" Negi stammered.

"For the record," she said as she reached down with both hands and began yanking her shirt up her sides, "I've been huh sus -" That spoken as the shirt came up over her mouth, momentarily obstructing her words. "- 'bad, bad teacher," she concluded, shirt dropping to the forest floor as her hands went behind her back to start working at the fastener of her bra.

"What. The heck. Are you doing?" Asakura slowly asked.

Asuna gave her the Look. Normally it would have been something of a relief to Negi to see someone else getting the Look, but the circumstances prevented that. "Bad, bad girl reporter!" Asuna said in faux-cheerful tone. "Doing all that to Negi and not having any orgasms yourself!" That spoken as she yanked up the sides of her skirt to expose her panties.

"What?" Asakura gasped. "I, I did! I had one as soon as he put it in, and a couple more afterwards, they just weren't, you know, terribly noisy or anything." The situation was so bizarre that she found nothing strange about turning to look down at Negi and ask, in a somewhat panicked tone, "You know I really liked that, right, Sensei?"

It said something rather unfortunate about Negi's lifestyle that this was not the strangest conversation he'd ever had. "Well, I think so," he said, hesitantly. Then, since Asuna was still giving the Look in their general direction even as she skinned down her panties, he felt obliged to add, "But I'm often wrong about these things."

Asakura's face didn't so much fall as collapse into an incredulous pout - which itself dissolved into a rather startled expression that was a surprisingly rare sight on her face, as she felt Asuna pressing against her back and the other girl's right hand wrapping around her left breast. "Indeed," Asuna stage-whispered right into her ear. "It's no good unless you get a lot of screaming orgasms. Fortunately, Negi here can go for hours!"

"Hours?" Asakura squeaked. She'd noticed that his hard-on hadn't gone down, but attributed that to the fact that she was still holding it. And now, also Asuna's other hand, no, wait, both her hands were down there, but one of them was pressing up against her ohhhhhhh.

"So can I," Asuna added.

Asakura wasn't sure whether she should be terrified or really really turned on.

* * *

Meanwhile, Setsuna was sittting next to Konoka in a fine French restaurant, sharing the table with President Fujino and that biker delinquent girl who looked just as uncomfortable and out of place as Setsuna. Fittingly, both of them even were in dark dresses, although Kuga's was a solid black compared to Setsuna's deep blue.

"I'm so glad you two could make it," Konoka was smiling sweetly as she paused between polite mouthfuls of her salad. "Like I was telling Setchan, sometimes, you don't even realize how much and how well others might get along with you until it's too late, isn't that right, Setchan?"

"Of course it is, Ojou-sama," she had to say.

"Mmm-hmm. And our summer trip gave me an epiphany of sorts on the subject," Konoka continued. "It brought Setchan and me a lot closer, and, from what I understand, it was pretty much the same way with you over here, or am I wrong?"

"Yes," Shizuru replied, polite but wary, and not really liking how much this girl seemed to know about her recent ... exploits. Although surely her Grandfather could and even should have told her, even if only as a warning of sorts in case Shizuru went over the line again. (If so, then Shizuru understood and couldn't criticize, but it still hurt all the same.) "However ... well, I daresay what we went through was most likely more troubling than your own ordeals. That's not to diminish your accomplishments, of course," she said, to imply she also knew more about Konoe than Konoe would prefer

But if Konoka felt anything about that, she didn't show it. "Oh, you're probably right! Truth be told, poor Negi-kun endured most of the trauma during the misadventures we faced. It's been a test of passage for him lately; an ongoing roller coaster of forced growth," she mused, not without sadness.

"Which is why he's taken a leave from teaching, am I right?" Shizuru said, finishing her salad and starting with her fish, taking a moment to gracefully help a faintly blushing Natsuki with her fork and knife. For someone who mostly lived on Chinese takeout covered by thick layers of mayonnaise, Shizuru guessed Natsuki wasn't doing too badly.

"Yes," Konoka said. "But rest assured, even if you can't see him, he's always around in some capacity, helping us." There was a pause. "But, another of the lessons the trip taught us is we have to grow stronger in our own right, and we also have to reach out to others and count on them as much as they can count on us. That's a flaw both Setchan and Negi-kun still have to fully overcome," she giggled. "They always want to carry the weight of the whole world on their shoulders, but that isn't right at all, is it, Fujino-sempai?"

Setsuna lowered her humbled gaze. "I'm so sorry to keep failing your expectations, Ojou-sama."

"Setchan! I don't say that to make you feel bad! And stop it with the 'Ojou-sama'! They will think you are my subordinate or something, instead of my girlfriend!"

Setsuna immediately choked in her saliva, just as Natsuki did on her meal.

"Ara ara, are you an official couple already? I'm so glad for you," Shizuru smoothly smiled. "As for teamwork, yes, you're quite right indeed, Konoe-san. This summer taught us a hard, unforgivable lesson on the subject ... but never mind that now, somber matters shouldn't be discussed in such a joyous outing. Instead, why don't we -"

"E-Excuse me a moment, please," Setsuna stuttered, getting up from her chair and quickly heading over for the restroom. "It'll be only a moment."

Natsuki rubbed her throat down a few times, then nodded and got up as well. "I, I think I also need some ... forgive me." She all but ran into a waiter in her rushed path after Setsuna's steps.

Once the female restroom's door was slammed closed after them, Konoka turned her gaze back to Shizuru and smiled. "Two peas in a pod, aren't they?"

Shizuru smiled as well, in a more mature and less sincere way. "From what I have seen of Sakurazaki-san so far, yes. But their brief absence, while heartfelt no matter how short it may be, is also a good opportunity to ask you something, assuming you don't mind, Konoe-san."

"Call me Konoka, please. And no, I don't. What is it?"

"That young man actually is Negi-sensei, isn't he?" Shizuru asked in a very low and confidential voice.

Konoka's surprise only lasted a couple seconds. "Oh ... how did you -?"

"Your grandfather made sure to tell all of us who have been involved with magic, just to guarantee there would be as few misunderstandings as we could avoid. But even before that, after our close brush with death, I made sure to learn every bit of information my resources could provide me on magic and its community," Shizuru said with the air of someone expert at keeping secrets. "I know of magic pills to alter your age, and while it was possible your current roommate was indeed related to Negi-sensei, it seemed far too much of a coincidence for him to appear just as Sensei disappears."

"No, it isn't," Konoka admitted very quietly. "Nagi-san is indeed Negi-kun. Grandpa wouldn't lie to you."

"I see. Well, in a way, that is comforting, since it confirms he is indeed healthy and well. However, if I can ask this, I wouldn't mind knowing ... exactly why is he resorting to this charade? The Headmaster refused to go into details about it, so I will understand if you cannot tell me, but -"

"It wasn't his intention. It just ... accidentally happened," Konoka confessed. "It's kind of a funny story, actually, but ... you probably wouldn't find it interesting?" She lightly touched the back of her own neck.

"If you say so," Shizuru finished her main course, wondering what was taking Natsuki so long. "Well, if you are finding it hard to cohabit with him now he's a grown man, please don't be afraid to let me know."

"No matter what his apparent age is, Negi-kun will always be a gentleman," Konoka replied, with a subtle hint of steel under the silk.

"I'm sure of that," Shizuru nodded. "But even the noblest of us can act harshly when hormones and affection are involved. I-" She trailed off, blushing slightly. "No. Forget it, please. As I said, this is no moment to discuss such affairs."

Konoka lifted an eyebrow quizzically.

The shame over that night when Suzushiro and her cohort had found her leaning over Natsuki, ready to steal her innocence, slammed into Fujino Shizuru once again. It still hurt, and greatly so. And she had to wonder if Natsuki would ever forgive her, if she ever learned ...

* * *

Setsuna finished washing her hands in the sink, gripped its edge tightly, and prophesized in an ominous tone. "This isn't going to work."

Still washing herself at the next sink, Natsuki growled, "So what? If it doesn't work, we'll leave it behind and ... well, you'll try again or something. I doubt she's gonna hate you over anything that happens tonight."

"Don't jinx it!" Setsuna shuddered before starting making a lot of blessing gestures on herself, like a possessed woman. "Don't you know how these things work? If you say something bad won't happen, it will happen!"

"If that were the case, why would we ever say anything that didn't predict doom and destruction?" Natsuki asked, straining herself to hold onto some patience. "I thought you were some expert swordmistress and demon hunter. How did you ever get anything done with that attitude?"

"Demons are nothing," Setsuna sulked. "Killing demons is like walking around squashing cockroaches. This is much worse! This is ... _r-r-romance!_" She sank her teeth on her lower lip.

Natsuki gave her a jaded look. _Was I ever this young and stupid?_ she wondered. "Listen, you're making me nervous as well."

"I'm sorry, I'm always causing problems for everyone, I-"

"Cut it out!" Natsuki barked. "I don't know what Konoe ever saw in you, but if she can put up with this crap on a routine basis, it's obvious she won't ever leave you over anything!"

"B-Buh-But you don't understand!" Setsuna complained. "It's not only that! It's just... even if this works out, it might work out too well!"

"Eh?"

Setsuna paced around in place, her hands clawing at each other. "I am a threat to girls' chastity! Somehow, being around me corrupted Ojou-sama and Asuna-san and even Negi-sensei, not that he's a girl, but still! And something about me drove a fellow swordswoman mad with lust over me! And then, this afternoon, I ... I did the unthinkable! I broke the ultimate taboo! I cheated on Ojou-sama!"

"What."

"Do you see now, Kuga-san, why would I be so nervous to face her?" she grabbed the slightly taller girl by the shoulders. "Not only I stole the innocences of my Ojou-sama and my best friend, but today, I forced myself on a more-or-less innocent classmate, who-!"

A blond head with a red bow on top, resembling the ears of a rabbit, emerged from a nearby toilet stall, displaying an expression of complete outrage and disgust.

"... ahhhhh..." Setsuna paled.

With a perfectly straight face, Natsuki said, "We are practicing for a play."

"Eh?" The girl, one that Natsuki thought she recognized from somewhere, perhaps from the campus, arched an eyebrow.

"Do you think that's the kind of dialogue perfectly normal people would exchange in a public place in real life?" Natsuki calmly asked.

"Ah," the blond girl said, quickly moving to wash her hands off and drying them as Setsuna stood there, petrified. "Um. Well, then, good luck with the ... play," the stranger said, then rushed out and away _ipso facto._

"... who was that?" Setsuna could gasp at last.

"Beats me. I doubt we'll ever see or hear from her again anyway," Natsuki shrugged before saying, "You really are pitiful."

"I don't even deserve pity."

"No, really. I really doubt you could have forced yourself on another girl. Listen, um ... I'm not going to judge you, but you've got a serious problem with your self-image, and you really get some help. But do it AFTER this evening has gone as smoothly as it can, okay? No more drama. Just sit there, breathe very slowly and heavily, think happy thoughts, and make it through the evening, or I'll kick your ass myself for making a show in front of Shizuru. All right?"

Setsuna nodded. "Thank you, that vote of trust is more than I deserve, it's -"

Natsuki placed a finger on Setsuna's mouth, closing it, and shook her head with a stern attitude.

Setsuna made a gesture that conveyed agreement, and then quietly followed Natsuki outside.

* * *

A few tables away from Shizuru and Konoka's, Kirisaki Chitoge, seventeen, daughter and heiress to the Beehive criminal Family (and looking to get out of it), hid her face behind a menu as she saw those two really strange and scary girls taking their seats. The boy sitting across her blinked.

"Hey, Gorilla?" Ichijo Raku, her reluctant fiance, asked her. "You feeling okay?"

"Shut up and don't look that way," she said under her breath, vaguely gesturing towards the Konoe-Fujino table. "Those people over there are dangerous!"

So naturally, he looked that way. "Really? Huh, they all look nice enough, unlike others I know. Sure, the pale one seems scared out of her mind for some reason, but -"

With a fierce yet low growl, Chitoge poked the right hand of the sole son and heir of the Ichijo Yakuza empire with a fork. Hard.

"Yiiiiiiiii!" he screeched, then bit his tongue as he realized the eyes of most of the restaurant, included those of that table, had suddenly fallen on him. He gave Chitoge a sharp glare and mumbled, "You brute, do you want to get us thrown out, or what?"

"It doesn't sound like such a bad idea," Chitoge said from behind the menu she still was using as her shield. Then she spied, out of a corner of her eye, the tall man in an expensive suit spying on them from the branches of a large tree near the closest window, and uttered a string of curses to herself.

She really was starting to hate this city and the school.

* * *

Chamo kept running through the woods of Mundus Magicus, with a squad or armored guards hot after his trail.

"Damn it, don't these guys have any dragons to kill? Demons to vanquish? Orc armies to repel? _When did this world go down the drain like this?!_"

* * *

"So, where is Konoka right now?" asked Eishun over the resort's breakfast table.

"She went out in a date with Setsuna," shared Asuna between bites of toast. She seemed to have a big appetite that morning. Eishun thought her attitude, while living on borrowed time, was truly admirable, but feared he'd only make her feel worse by telling her that.

"Oh, I see, nothing short of that would - date!?" he said after nearly choking on a big mouthful.

"Well, yeah, they have a Pactio, they are very close, they feel a lot of affection for each other," said Asuna casually. "And you couldn't ask for a nobler, braver daughter-in-law, could you?"

Eishun opened his mouth to give a reply, but nothing but a deflated, still incredulous sound came out.

Rakan chewed on his breakfast noisily. "C'mon, man. Everyone knew it. Don't tell me you didn't!"

"- okay, I won't," Eishun weakly said. "B-But I wanted grandchildren."

"They always can adopt," Asuna shrugged. "They love each other, and that's all that really matters, isn't it?"

"And they make a cute couple," Asakura mused.

"Ah, young passions in the bloom of life," Queen Daenerys reflected aloud. "Always a treacherous path, but better than that of the forced union, in general. Mine ended up, at least briefly, being pleasant enough, but I understand why your people would value this freedom of choice over-"

"Girls shouldn't love other girls," Inverse said between large, avid mouthfuls brought over and over by Evangeline's maids.

Most of those eating with her turned their eyes on her and left them there.

The petite redhead paused after swallowing the huge chunk in her mouth, blinking in genuine puzzlement. "What? Did I say something wrong?"

Daenerys exhaled a soft puff of breath and shook her head to herself, returning her attentions to her meal.

Twilight just kept her eyes flicking back and forth between the others.

"I mean it, guys, what's the problem?" Lina continued. "There's boys, and there's girls, and they complement each other, right? Surely she'll get the gist of that eventually, she's still young after all, so odds are there won't be anything to worry about."

"Typical Zefiria hillside upbringing," Paio Zi moved her head from side to side, with an amused smirk.

"Hey, what's that supposed to mean!" Lina growled.

Twilight just kept her eyes flicking back and forth between the others.

"A-hemmm," Evangeline rasped loudly from the head of the table, and even Inverse chose to hold her tongue, although clearly unhappy about it. Only then did Negi breath relatively easy again.

"If only she had come from the branch that adopts a fixed gender when they hit their sixteen," Eishun sadly whispered to himself, struggling to keep eating. "I would have absolutely no issues with, it then. I have nothing but respect and gratitude for her, but -"

Albireo, for once, was too busy rolling his eyes subtly at that while sipping his tea to bother taunting the host, for which Evangeline probably was as close to being thankful to the heavens as she could get.

In the meanwhile, Asuna added a new mental note to her inner to-do list. Before she went to sleep, someone would get a good lesson on the nature of right, wrong, and loving girls.

Twilight just kept her eyes flicking back and forth between the others.

* * *

"Well, that was fun!" Konoka said as they left the restaurant behind, walking down the beautiful boulevard, caressed by a fresh breeze. "What do you say if we go watch a movie?"

"Didn't anyone notice that girl two tables away was trying to hide behind a menu the whole time?" Shizuru asked at the same time, too puzzled about that conundrum to really have heard Konoka.

Setsuna coughed loudly to distract attention away from that question. "Ahhh. This is why I thought we should have planned this better before going out. Now we'll have to improvise on the fly."

"Nonsense, Setchan!" her precious angel said. "That's exactly the fun of it! All of my Omiais always were scheduled carefully, previously planned for days ... and they were a thundering bore! I never had fun on a date until I went out with Negi-kun to look for a gift for Asuna, and then I learned how fun a date could be as long as you play it loose and just relax!"

"That ... that was a date?" Natsuki wondered in a low tone.

"Of course. You raise a very valid point, Ojou-sama," Setsuna quickly agreed, which actually disappointed Konoka. After that brief burst of independent thought, she had _almost_ hoped...

"A movie sounds good," Shizuru pondered. "What sort of film would you favor?"

"It's all the same to me," said Natsuki, who'd never been fond of watching movies but chose not to phrase it that way.

A tiny Tsukuyomi devil popped up on Setsuna's right shoulder. _"This is it, Sempai! Your chance to finally watch a samurai epic on the silver screen! All the glorious false bloodshedding as it was made to be seen, larger than life! Remember the newspaper ads? They're showing_ Bloodied Blade of the Meifumado _in 3D, in the LexCorp Movieplex! Let's go, go, go go go!"_ She kept pumping a fist obscenely.

A tiny Negi angel popped up on Setsuna's left shoulder. _"No, Setsuna-san! Remember, this isn't about you! You mustn't surrender to your selfish desires again! For the sake of your loved one, and to help atone for your infidelity, you must choose something she'll like! Something nice and pleasant, as sweet and romantic as she is!"  
_  
Tsukuyomi waved her swords at Negi_. "Oh, for the love of -! It's only a movie, Negi-han! Konoka-han won't die just because she has to watch a little carnage that doesn't even show real blood!"  
_  
Negi assumed a battle stance and went Lighting Form. _"You won't corrupt Setsuna-san any further, Tsukuyomi-san!"  
_  
_"Let's go, Lover Boy!"_

"Setchan?" Konoka snapped her out of her strange daydream as they now stood at the wide entrance of the Mahora LexCorp Movieplex, surrounded by a small crowd also analyzing all the 'Now Showing' movie posters. The Negi and Tsukuyomi lookalikes battled above Setsuna's head, both already bloodied and battered. "Setchan, we were asking you if you would like watching the movie Fujino-sempai and me prefer."

"Ahh? Of course, why wouldn't I want to watch -" Setsuna's gaze followed Konoka's pointer finger towards a large colorful poster showing several cartoony bipedal cats wielding weapons and riding motorcycles towards a huge red-haired demon that looked vaguely like the heiress of the Tohno house. "... 'NECO ARC THE MOVIE'?" Setsuna quoted the title, in its whole CAPITAL LETTERS magnificence.

Fujino nodded. "It looks very fun, don't you think, Natsuki?"

"... it's all the same to me," Natsuki blandly repeated, wondering inside why Shizuru had instantly latched to that as soon as Konoe found the poster, especially when there was a poster for _Sensibility and Tragedy in Kyoto_ right besides it. Wouldn't that be far more her kind of movie? She was officially confused now.

Perceiving the sudden stiffness in Setsuna's face, Konoka softly said, "Of course, if you would prefer watching something else, like, um, let's say _Bloodied Blade of the Meifumado _-" She was pointing towards that poster and its manly cast grimacing threateningly. "... I'll understand. That also might be fu-"

Setsuna forced a stifled laugh. "W-Wh-What, that? Me liking that? Ah-ha-ha, as humorous as ever, Ojou-sam- Kono-chan! As if I could like that sort of crass and violent entertainment just because it deals with swords and the most primal warrior values of Japan and its brutal but fair and beautiful honor code! I hate that stuff!" she said, tears inexplicably flowing down her face.

No one was really fooled. Even the tiny Negi and Tsukuyomi battling over her head paused to look down at her with disbelief.

"Really?" asked Natsuki, arms folded.

_"Shut up,"_ Setsuna whispered to her as she walked towards the box office. "Four for _NECO ARC THE MOVIE_, please. I'll pay."

As they walked inside the movie theater, they briefly passed next to a child suspiciously similar to Kaede fiercely fighting a child suspiciously similar to Mana while the security staff vainly tried keeping them apart. Setsuna lowered her head and rushed as much as she could. Konoka, after a moment where she looked like she was about to step in, shook her head to herself and kept on walking.

Shortly after they sat down, with Natsuki and Setsuna and the edges and the two Ojous between them and next to each other, the credits for the movie started.

**TYPE-MOON PICTURES PRESENTS...**

**A NABESHIN MOVIE...**

**NECO ARC IN...**

**NECO ARC THE MOVIE.**

**CO-STARRING:**

**NECO ARC CHAOS.**

**NECO ARC BUBBLES.**

**NECO ARC EVOLUTION.**

**NECO ARC DESTINY.**

**MECHA HISUI.**

And the glorious return of **BASIL KARLO** as **MAGICAL PHANTASMOON.**

**BASED ON THE ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY BY SANZENIN NAGI.**

Visual Effects by **QUENTIN BECK.**

"... this is gonna suck," Natsuki whispered between clenched teeth.

* * *

_Two hours and a half later:_

Konoka walked out drying her leaking tears with a silk tissue. "That ... that was the most beautiful movie I have ever watched!"

Shizuru was similarly moved, although she kept herself on better check. "It was so very moving."

"I'll buy the Blu-Ray as soon as it's out!"

"I think I'll come watch it again next week..."

"Oh, great idea! And we can come with them once more, right, Setchan? Setchan?"

Marching far behind, Setsuna and Natsuki sported matching haunted expressions.

"What the hell did I just watch," Kuga was deadpanning.

"Gah," Setsuna cleverly answered, while above her, the tiny Tsukuyomi and Negi both hung dead after performing seppuku.

* * *

"So, where to now?" asked Konoka, swiftly walking down the sidewalk, with her hands on her skirt and a smile full of life on her lips.

"Um, how about home?" Setsuna dared to ask in another mild burst of independent thought. "Fate-sensei will surely be enforcing surveillance on us even more after today's ... ahhhh."

Konoka stopped and looked back at her. "After today's what? Ah, does this have anything to do with why you skipped classes today, Setchan?"

Setsuna's face went so red so quickly, it honestly marveled Natsuki. Never before had she seen someone who was so transparent, except maybe Shiho. "Um, ah, actually, yes, Ojou-sama, but ... I, I'll tell you all about it ... later, but um, my point still stands."

Konoka waved a hand around. "Oh, don't worry about that! Negi-kun told me Fate-kun will spend most of the night in an important meeting with more investors for his project, so I doubt even he could find time to catch us."

Setsuna's eyes went up, waiting for ightning and listening for the thunder sure to come. Neither did come, but instead, Shizuru asked something that was just as terrifying. "Project? Which project?"

Konoka smiled again. "Oh, yes, that's right, you didn't know. I had forgotten. Well, I suppose it's better telling you now, because honestly, what's the point of stalling about it when it comes to good friends, right?"

_Good friends? Since when?_ Natsuki thought, managing to convey a perfect deadpan within the privacy of her skull. _All we've done together is eating dinner, strolling across the town, and watching the world's worst movie! Is this really the dating education I needed? I want a freaking refund. This girl is worse than Mai!_

Konoka placed a finger on her own mouth. "Hmmm. But it isn't something that can really be discussed comfortably out in the open. On the other hand, the night is still too young, so ... I know! Let's hit the karaoke bar first, and then we'll go back and we'll tell you everything!"

"E-E-Everything?!" Setsuna gasped.

"Everything about the project, Setchan. Orrrrr were you thinking about something else?"

"Ahh... No, no! Of course not, since there isn't anything else to tell them about, I mean, otherwise, our lives are so perfectly normal and average and quiet and decent there's nothing else we could share with them without boring them! Eh he he he." She forced herself to laugh stiff and dumbly. Konoka thought it was very cute, although horribly embarrassing, too.

_You're a horrible liar as well_! Natsuki's thoughts protested_. God-awful, even! Even Mikoto would be suspicious by now! Okay, I'm exaggerating there, but even so ...  
_  
Shizuru, with the experience at handling weirdos and liars with secrets she really didn't want to learn granted by years of interactions with the elite and a few incredibly long months working with Suzushiro Haruka, nodded her agreement, more amused than anything else. "Of course, Konoe-san. I have never been to a karaoke bar, but from what I've heard, it should be quite entertaining, and I'm sure learning about your project will be very interesting, too. You don't have any problems with either, do you, Natsuki?"

"Do I have to wear any cosplay for the karaoke?" Kuga asked.

"Ah? No, of course not," Konoka said. "Why do you ask?"

"Just covering all my bases. Well, then I have absolutely no problems with it," the biker replied.

Konoka began rubbing her own chin. "Although now you mention it, that might add a lot of fun to the procedure."

"Wouldn't it, though?" Shizuru speculated, eyes starting to gleam.

"Please forget I mentioned anything about it at all," Natsuki dryly requested.

* * *

"Your place, or mine?"

That was the kind of question that normally ended in tears, sex, or both, although Natsuki, who was surprisingly naive about sex for someone well used to the seedy underground, had no real way of knowing that question, which had popped from Konoe's mouth after the karaoke session mercifully ended, had such a fearsome legacy to its name.

For now, Natsuki was just glad and relieved it had ended. Naturally, out of all the karaoke joints in the city, Konoe had to pick the one where Natsuki, Nao, Mai, Yukino, Sister Yukariko, Mikoto and Midori had that shameful session all those weeks ago. And of course, one of the employees had to recognize Natsuki, and ask her if she wanted to wear that _beauuuuutiful_ costume again. Shizuru, perhaps a bit vindictive over never being told about that girl's night out, had insisted on seeing the famous costume and how it would look on Natsuki, and of course, Natsuki couldn't say no.

It had been even more humiliating than the first time.

It also had been a tad disturbing how well Sakurazaki coped with being made to wear a man's black suit for her duet with a kimono-clad Konoe, and Shizuru's starry gaze as she watched them sing together made Natsuki slightly uncomfortable. Did Shizuru feel some envy at how close they were? Or was there something else to it? Sakurazaki, after all, cut a surprisingly dashing figure in that suit, which fit her in all the right ways without making her look butch, just elegantly ... gahhhhh, no, bad thought, bad thought.

Then there had been the shockingly vampish dress Shizuru chose, and the way she leaned towards Natsuki singing for her during her interpretation, coupled with the way Konoe giggled at it, only made Kuga feel even worse about it. She crossed her legs as she had seen businessmen doing in bars during lap dances, all those times she snuck around for info, since she supposed that was the right thing to do in such circumstances ... or did that only apply when you had a boner to sport? Then again, she had overheard others, like Honsho Chizuru, calling what Natsuki was clearly feeling now a female erection, but... gaaaagggghhhh, even worse thought, even worse thought.

All in all, it was no wonder Natsuki had felt much better now she was out of costume and drawn to the familiar safety of Shizuru's living quarters; after what she had learned about Konoe's private life, she wouldn't have felt at any ease there. Natsuki's own room was out of the question, with her roommate Aoi being there, and Sakurazaki roomed with that creepy (even by Natsuki's standards) Tatsumiya, so it had been no question, really.

And then, after tea and light pastries were served, Konoe opened her mouth and began to explain.

"For starters," she said, "there's a lot more to the world of magic than you two probably know, President-sempai, Kuga-sempai. Recently, we in Ala Alba, that is, Negi-kun's group of close associates, just were spending our summer vacation in the actual Magical World, a parallel pocket dimension located on the surface of Mars, where magic and the creatures spawned from it are far more common than they are on Earth now."

That was the most normal, least complicated, sentence in the whole of her explanation, but Shizuru was able to follow it remarkably well and without any major signs of shock, only making Konoe stop occasionally to ask her on some relatively minor points that Konoe was happy to make clear. Sakurazaki looked noticeably awkward at all Shizuru was being told. She actually had less of a problem with Natsuki, whom she felt as more of a kindred spirit and knew to be already better versed in the occult anyway. But she never raised her voice to object, no matter how much her face conveyed her doubts. No doubt that was a major part of why she had chosen sitting behind Konoka, keeping her gaze low ... was she staring at Konoe's butt? No, Natsuki thought, surely she couldn't be that daring.

Then Natsuki remembered she was thinking about a girl who already had sex with three of her classmates and her child teacher (older body or not; all that mattered in Natsuki's opinion was his mental age) and silently took that back.

Once Konoka was done with her explanation, Shizuru nodded. "I see. That's one of the most interesting stories I have ever heard, Konoe-san. I'm afraid I don't hold any actual power in my father's companies yet, but if you need any help from us, I'll try my best to ease him into that knowledge."

"Thanks, although actually, that's Negi-kun's call," Konoka said. "He's the one deciding the path of the project."

"Along with Fate-san," Setsuna felt she had to point out. To the devil his due, after all.

Konoka pouted. "He's only following Negi-kun's cue there. I don't think he's actually entitled to leadership over it, when he opposed it so much at first. They have been very generous with him, but ... I think he might be overstepping his limits now, acting as if he had the right to decide everything."

"Well, from what I have learned, he would have more experience in handling large scale projects than Negi-sensei, wouldn't he?" Shizuru calmly wondered. "Konoe-san, child prodigy or not, Negi-sensei is still only... well, a child. Haven't you stopped to think perhaps he is handling more than he can with this?"

Setsuna spoke quickly. "Sensei is the most capable man I have ever know, except Eishun-sama. Let me assure you, I'd trust him on this or anything else over any men thrice his age."

"Well, _of course_ you would," Natsuki quietly said, more to herself than anything else.

"I don't mean to offend," Shizuru replied in the same even tone, "However, don't you think that's an inhumanly huge weight to place on anyone of Sensei's age? No matter how intelligent and capable he is, you are still placing an unmatched responsibility on him, perhaps heavier than anyone else's in the history of mankind."

Setsuna blinked. "Ah, however, that was his idea in the first place. We never wanted ... we never wished for it to get that far ..."

"But it did."

Konoka nodded. "We have thought of that, too, but what can we do? Once Negi-kun sets his mind to something, there's nothing and no one that can stop him. And if not him, then who? Without him, the Magical World wouldn't have a chance."

"Are you completely sure of that? History has taught us, time and time again, no man is irreplaceable in the large scheme of things," Shizuru said, smoothly but completely serious. "Are you sure you aren't just letting him waste his youth, and probably his life, away on something others could also tackle with enough preparation and motivation? Probably, forgive me for saying this, even better than him?"

"Better than ... Negi?" Konoka spoke as if the mere idea was an alien, nearly blasphemous concept. "Oh, no no no. Sorry, President, but no. I understand your point, but ... no. You just don't know him. If you _knew_ him, you'd understand as well."

And Shizuru smiled. "I'll ask a variation of what I just asked, if you don't mind. Are you sure your certainty isn't only the boundless admiration of a maiden's heart in love?"

Upon hearing that, Setsuna coughed and sprayed the tea she had been nervously sipping from.

All over Konoka.

Oops.

* * *

Setsuna paced around the table as Shizuru and Konoka were in the former's bedroom, looking for something for the latter to wear after Sakurazaki's social faux pas. One Setsuna herself couldn't forget. "See? I told you so," she was telling a stonefaced Natsuki. "I am a walking disaster, a threat to Ojou-sama's happiness in all levels. Just wait and see. This is an obvious setup my clumsiness has set in motion, for some terrible scene where my Ojou-sama, moved to strip down by me, and currently bonding with your mistress, will fall prey to sin again!"

"She isn't my 'mistress', and honestly, will you let it go already?" an exasperated Natsuki asked. "I'm this close to calling a mental institution on you! There was one that did wonders for Mai's friend Akane..."

Setsuna stopped. "My apologies. Usually, I'm not as bad as this, but of late, I suppose you could say I've been on the edge, what with what's happening to Asuna-hime and all."

"Yes, I'm sure I could say," Natsuki groaned.

Inside Shizuru's bedroom, Konoka was pulling on a white nightshirt. Shizuru stood aside, watching her with some interest. Konoka-san was oddly reminiscent, physically speaking, of Natsuki, in a way. Briefly, Shizuru wondered if there could be some distant blood relation... but no, of course, that had to be impossible. To clear her mind away from treacherous thoughts, she cleared her throat and said, "Ahh ... is Sakurazaki-san always this nervous?"

"Hmmm? Ah, no, actually, she used to be very cold, collected and distant, until we bonded during our class trip to Kyoto. But I actually prefer her like this. This is the real adorable, worrywart Setchan." She giggled, fixing her hair back into shape after part of it briefly got tangled in the nightshirt.

"Ara ara," Shizuru said. The words 'Love makes fools out of all us' came to her mind, but then she was hardly the best person to criticize others on the subject, as she realized now. Seeing Konoe walking past her and towards the living room, she blinked, realizing her guest hadn't put on yet what Shizuru was holding, fresh from her drawers. So she went after her, waving it slightly for her to notice it. "Oh, Konoe-san, wait! You really should put these on -"

Konoka ignored the offered shorts as she took back her seat at the table, before a heavily gasping Setsuna and blinking Natsuki. "It doesn't matter, President-sempai! We are all girls here, after all, right?"

"O-Of course we are!" Setsuna blushed, trying her best not to look down at where the nightshirt hung loose shortly under Konoka's hips. "But Ojo, that is Kono-chan, for you to show up in this state of undress during a formal meeting -"

"Informal!" Konoka chided, wagging a finger. Shizuru, after a moment of disbelief of her own, had turned back to go fold the shorts back into their drawer. "And, well, I'm not sure anything else from the President's clothes would fit me. She is taller and has a more mature figure than mine..." she laughed lightly, tugging at where the nightshirt hung loose around her chest.

"But yours is lovely," said Shizuru as she returned and sat back down as well. So similar to Natsuki's, almost as toned, she thought, wondering how could a pampered girl with no athletic history have reached that physical state, especially compared to someone as active and prone to involve herself into fights as her beloved was. She still had no idea how harsh even the simplest of Evangeline's survival training could be.

"Thank you so very much, Sempai," Konoka said in a tone that perhaps wasn't intended to be as coquettish and even flirtatious as it sounded. Red alarms blared in Setsuna's head. Natsuki's hadn't quite reached that level yet, but she still frowned. "Now... we were talking about how much we love Negi-kun, right?"

"Ahhhh... yes, I suppose?" intervened Natsuki.

Konoka nodded. "And we love him a lot. I love Setchan the most, and I'm sure she loves me the most too, but after each other, we love Asuna and Negi-kun all the same, don't we, Setchan?"

Setchan had started coughing again.

"Maybe you should take some syrup for that, Setchan," Konoka playfully adviced, then told the others, "That's her way of saying Yes."

"Ah," Natsuki said blandly.

Now Shizuru didn't sound that amused. "Okay," she said. "It was amusing, and perhaps even cute, at first, but don't you think you're overdoing it now?"

"Overdoing what?" Konoka blinked innocently.

"You know what I mean," the other heiress said. "You keep making her feel really uncomfortable with your comments, and while that might not even faze most of those I know, you should realize she isn't the type that really reacts well to jokes. Even I can see that, and I barely know her."

"It's, it's all okay, it's all my own-" Setsuna began.

"I only want her to loosen up a little," Konoka offered.

"Well, yeah, but you're only doing the exact opposite," Natsuki opined. "All night long, she's been a nervous wreck."

"I haven't been! I'm only the slightest bit on edge, which is perfectly understable given all that's been happening to us!" protested Setsuna.

"What she said," Konoka nodded. "And that's exactly why I want her to relax."

"She doesn't look relaxed to me," said Natsuki, who was wondering if they were supposed to be learning what NOT TO DO in a date.

"It's a work in progress," Konoka said. "And besides, I don't talk about our love lightly. We really love each other, and Asuna and Negi-kun, that much," she firmly declared.

Shizuru seemed to struggle to process that for some moments, before saying, "It has been said one shouldn't serve two masters, and I think that applies to love more than anything else."

"But love isn't a master-follower relationship, which is what she needs to learn," Konoka gestured towards her bodyguard, who was now hiding her own face behind a hand.

"I was just using a figure of speech," Shizuru was growing frankly frustrated. "True love should be honest and, um, true."

"Ours is!" Konoka claimed.

"But for that, it should be devoted! And you can't do that when your attentions are divided between several!" Shizuru gestured with her hands to emphasize her point, a real rarity in her.

"We can," Konoka smirked. "We are Ala Alba. We can do anything."

_Such a confidence, such a noble and honest boast even with the simplest statement!_ Setsuna swooned.

Shizuru said nothing, but her look was one of polite, yet blunt incredulity.

That didn't escape Konoka, who pouted cutely. "I see you need proof of how true and strong our love is, no matter whom are we sharing it with. Very well." She breathed deeply, before standing up, pushing her butt up so the white panties were visible as the nightshirt shuffled up, and then grabbing both of Setsuna's cheeks in her hands. Before Setsuna could utter anything but a confused gargle, Konoka planted a long wet smooch on her mouth. Setsuna's side tail stood up on end.

"Gak," Natsuki said.

"Oh my," Shizuru took a hand to her own cheek. "How bold... um ... excuse me, but I think you are Frenching wildly in _my_ home. Which I don't think I like too much." That was true enough, although there was a certain thrill from watching them. "I'm glad your passion happens to be so... strong and indomitable, but I'd appreciate it if you didn't do that here."

Finally, Konoka broke the kiss, mixed drool dripping from her mouth. She delicately licked it up and swallowed, grabbing the dismayed Setsuna's wrists to keep her in place as she looked at Shizuru and said, "See? _This_ is how you kiss a strong girl. Like Kuga-san."

"Could my name stay out of this?" requested the young delinquent, as Natsuki backed the hell away, heart thumping madly.

Shizuru blushed only the slightest bit, taking a fist to her own mouth and feigning a hint of a cough. "I... I'll keep that in mind for later. However, while the graphic explanation could be definitely useful later on, I was under the impression we were going to be shown the first steps in a relationship. Not the final ones."

"How long have you and Kuga-san known each other?" Konoka asked. "It's been years, isn't it? Setchan and I met when we were children, but we spent years apart after that, so if I'm not mistaken, you and Kuga-san have actually spent more time together than we have. I don't think you should think of remaining in the 'starting' stage anymore." She beamed a bright smile. "It's time for a Relationship Upgrade!"

"Oh, for the love of-!" Natsuki groaned.

Shizuru stiffened. _No! No, no, you can't do it yet, not after what happened that night, not until you feel ... clean ..._

Konoka studied her reaction, then softly asked, "You think you aren't ready yet, don't you?"

"Yes," Shizuru answered, because it was the truth, and mostly, because it sounded like it'd get Konoe off her case quickly.

But alas. "Why, if I'm not being too nosy?" Konoka delicately asked again.

_Yes, you are!_ Shizuru thought, but said nothing.

"We can't help you if you don't tell us. Who knows, maybe we can't help you anyway, and maybe we can't do anything but let time pass until you feel comfortable with it. But keep this in mind, that makes relationships go cold and wither," Konoka warned her.

"And how would you know that?" Natsuki asked.

"Because that's what happened to my parents," Konoka explained easily. Then she quickly added, "Oh, they still love and respect each other a lot, and they aren't divorcing any time soon, but ... even from a distance, I can tell their fire has died. They basically are a couple of loving friends who stay together out of convenience now. That's why I want for our relationship to always remain vital and lively, Setchan," she explained to her stunned girlfriend. "Because I fear to become like Daddy; someone who grew complacent and bored after he stopped living on the edge."

"That's their current situation? Really?" a truly shocked Setsuna asked.

After some moments of quiet consideration, Shizuru spoke again. "Yes. I can see your point there, since it's the same with my parents."

"Maybe it's something in the Kyoto water?" Konoka tried to lighten the mood.

It didn't really work. "To be honest, I often have worried about Natsuki going away because of my inaction," Shizuru confessed. "Back before the HiME War, I had more or less grown accustomed to the idea that was how it should be, but ... ever since, I feel myself divided, because now I have the chance to go somewhere with this, but at the same time, I never know if I'm going too fast or too slow. Or both, although that should be impossible."

"Shizuru! That's how you felt?" Natsuki asked. "But you never told me..."

Konoka nodded. "See, that's exactly what we're trying to fix here."

"But it isn't that easy!" protested Fujino. "I couldn't tke that step now either way, because I have ... no, I can't even say it." She lowered her gaze as much as she could, biting her treacherous tongue.

Natsuki paused before warily asking, "Shizuru ... is this about the incident Haruka and Yukino-san witnessed?"

Shizuru choked in her own saliva and coughed violently.

"I think it is, whatever that is," Konoka nodded.

Shizuru gave Natsuki a truly panicked look. "H-H-How did you-!"

"Haruka told me after the War was over," Natsuki said. "Why wouldn't she? I mean, you know how she is. She took me aside and tried to warn me you were a lustful beast, and all that nonsense."

"But- But-!" Shizuru actually fretted. "All this time, you have known, and you haven't told me, and-"

Konoka nodded. "See, that's exactly what we're trying to fix here." She was starting to feel like a cute broken record, to be honest.

"I was afraid what your reaction would be like," Natsuki uneasily admitted. "Just like you, I guess. B-But that's okay, I understand, we all did stupid extreme things back then, myself included, and we weren't really ourselves, so -"

"No. You, and Mai-san, and Sugiura-san ... you always kept being better than that, while I... I kept falling and falling, lower and lower," Shizuru muttered, "Because unlike you, I was -"

"- without a friend at your side, to keep you away from the abyss," Natsuki said. "I'm sorry, Shizuru. It was my fault, because if I had been there for you from the start of it all, much like Mai was for me ... well, without her, I'd have lost myself as well. Much worse than you did."

"But I never told you anything to begin with, how could you be at fault?" asked Shizuru. "No, the fault is all mine!"

"Now, please, that's an unhealthy attitude..." Setsuna tried to gently comfort her, blissfully ignorant of how that sounded coming from her of all people. "You can't go through life blaming yourself over every little-" The other shoe finally dropped. "Oh. I'm sounding like a complete hypocrite, right."

Konoka reached over and played with her hair. "Of course not, silly!" she said, before kissing her madly once again.

Natsuki had moved on to embrace a nearly tearful Shizuru. "Shizuru. I'll never hate you, no matter what. I didn't hate you then, and I don't hate you now. And if you really need proof of it ... w-well ..."

Slowly, their lips touched each other, delicately, faintly, and they had the briefest taste of them while Konoka pushed Setsuna down against the carpet and began kissing all over the moaning bird girl, struggling to get rid of her clothes. Maybe it was that carnal symphony that gave them the final extra push they needed, because the next moment, something of what had been in Shizuru that night revived, and she grabbed Natsuki and pulled her down with herself, right besides Konoka and Setsuna. Natsuki resisted with some nervous shakes, then surrendered just as quickly.

So it began.

* * *

Meanwhile, Asakura was starting to grow tired. Very tired. She still felt like her vagina was literally on fucking fire, even after her bouts of rest while Asuna and Negi went at it - and boy, did they go at it! It was genuinely scary how much they seemed to be into it. Truly inhuman, they were. And the worst part was, whenever she thought it was over and began crawling back for her clothes, Asuna would notice it, sic Negi back on her, and of course Asakura couldn't say no to the poor star crossed lovers who were so wonderful at fucking her ... so yeah.

And of course, as had to happen at some point when you are mostly zoning out of it already and your mate is in sort of a frenzy, she eventually felt him stiffen inside of her and squirt in.

There was a long, tense silence.

"Um, I, I, I'm terribly sorry, I know, I know you told me not to do th-that, but I'm sure it won't-"

Kazumi's soft snores from under him where his only reply, marking the reporter's official blissful collapse and calling it quits on the whole consciousness thing for the time being.

Asuna looked over at her. "I guess she'll be mad about this when she wakes up?"

"Uhhhh..." Negi sweated copiously.

His primary partner smiled and pulled him back towards herself. "Of course, that won't be for a while. So, until then -!"

Negi's sweating grew even more intense, if that was possible. And incredibly, it was.

* * *

Meanwhile, over at Shizuru's quarters, Natsuki had been moved into a position on her elbows and knees as Shizuru knelt behind her, her hands on Natsuki's behind while she applied cunnilingus under Konoka's guidance. That gave Setsuna enough room to sit back further behind, quietly weeping to herself and bemoaning her own devious role as an accesory for the corruption of young girls everywhere.

"I'm impressed," Konoka said with a smile and a bringing of her hands together. "You're a natural, Fujino-san. It took me all of a week of trial and error practice and hours looking through the Internet for related material to reach this level."

That made Setsuna briefly snap out of her fog of gloom. "A week? I don't think we've been doing this that l-"

"Shhhh," Konoka quietly cooed right before Natsuki began screaming her pleasure, bumping her fists on the carpet, her face so red it almost looked purple.

"ANNNNHHHHH! AAAAANNNNHHHHH! ANANNNHHHH!"

"M-Maybe we should keep it down?" Setsuna pointed out, gulping. "I mean, remember what happened in-"

"My turn!" Konoka was happily diving in between her bodyguard's legs, ready to apply what she had witnessed and unwilling to be left b ehind by Fujino-san. Once again, the neighbors were mostly forgotten for the moment. It has been said, after all, man and bird demon are the only animals who stumble twice (or more) on the same stone.

In the room next door, Tenjouin Saki sighed, rose from her bed, took some earplugs from her night desk, and stuffed them into her ears.

The President truly had no control of herself whenever she started with her sexual toys. Which was deeply unhealthy in Saki's opinion, but at least made for good blackmail material for the event the President's popularity began overtaking her own. It hadn't happened yet, naturally, but the looming threat was always there, and - wait, now she thought about it, that hadn't sounded like the President, had it?

The beautiful blonde unplugged her ears, took her old trusty recorder, and rushed towards the wall with the small device ready to be applied against it. One of the few good things about allowing Deviluke-san and Jewelria-san believe she was their friend (or at least trustworthy enough ally in Jewelria-san's case) was she could often receive interesting gadgets even the best scientists of her parents' companies could not supply. (Never mind the fact Deviluke-san only thought they were friends because of her own naivete, not because of any efforts from Tenjouin herself.) True, most of them left one naked in public, but there was the occasionally actually helpful one.

Saki began listening carefully through the alien amplifier and recorder, and bright red quickly climbed up her face. A moment later, she started touching herself vigorously as she thought of Zastin-sama.

* * *

Chamo still kept running through the woods.

"Dammit, when will this stop!" he cried.

The strong voices behind him kept shouting.

"STOP RIGHT THERE!"

"STOP RIGHT THERE!"

"STOP RIGHT THERE!"

... not anytime soon, it seemed.

* * *

Side by side, almost symetrically, Konoka and Shizuru held their respective loves against themselves, running their genitals together over and over. Laying on the carpet, on their flanks, Setsuna and Natsuki had resorted to holding hands to cope with the glorious, almost painful, ongoing ecstasy. Their legs being held high by both Ojous, the dark haired fighters clenched their teeth and strained their necks at the same time they were so intimately touched, their cores on fire upon repeated contact with those seemingly unsatiable sources of carnal pleasure, and -

Through the whole procedure, Setsuna had her eyes firmly shut, so when she first heard Natsuki's gasp, she assumed it had been an orgasm. However, hearing more gasps from her, and also a half formed choked question, prompted the bodyguard to open her eyes and look up following Natsuki's shocked gaze. Then her jaw hung loose as well.

While they hadn't stopped rubbing themselves against their respective couples, the wealthy girls were now kissing each other, deeply, and the hands that weren't holding the prone girls' legs up were cupping and squeezing each other's bare buttocks. "My God," Setsuna rasped, as the sinful sight pushed her to a shuddering orgasm that made her rest against Natsuki, holding onto her and whimpering onto her bossom.

"What the-" Natsuki mumbled, fairly bitterly, until something in her seemed to snap jealously, and under Shizuru's feverish gaze, she forcefully grabbed Setsuna by the hair and began Frenching her, in an inexpert yet powerful way. How do you like this now, huh, Shizuru? Huh?

Unfortunately, judging by the way Shizuru looked down at them , licking her lips all over while mashing her sex against Natsuki's with even greater force, Fujino seemed to, indeed, be liking it a lot.

That didn't make Natsuki stop, however. She sort of couldn't anymore. Her mind felt like it was burning as she placed herself over Setsuna's lithe body, touching her all over and experimenting to see which touch on which place did what. And Setsuna seemed to have sensitive points everywhere, often near those scarily easy to find and numerous dry scars of varying length and width. The bird girl moaned almost non stop, barely stopping for air, and soon Natsuki joined her when she felt two tongues on her vulva at once. Kissing as they licked Natsuki and Setsuna alternatively, Konoka and Shizuru kept groping each other, exploring their bodies as if there was no tomorrow.

That kept on going for quite some time, more than Natsuki dared or wanted to measure. For now at least, time seemed to have become meaningless for once.

Alas, the absence of time and its limits will always be nothing but an illusion, and ultimately everything, both good and bad, ends.

* * *

Even running gags.

Just not yet.

So Chamo kept running.

"THIS ISN'T FUNNY ANYMORE!"

* * *

"And this," Konoka sagely lectured, resting on the floor keeping a spastically shaking Setsuna hugged against her, "is this how a real steamy date ends."

"First dates shouldn't be steamy. First dates shouldn't end like this," Natsuki said, unblinking eyes very very open, from where she rested at a short distance from them, Shizuru in the middle with a placid, faraway expression. Shizuru's right hand reposed on Natsuki's lower backside as the left one kept on absently fingering Setsuna's sopping vaginal lips, at a much slower and sedate pace now.

Konoka shrugged. "Well, I liked it. Didn't you? Because you sure sounded like you were liking it, even when you were with me instead of President-san."

Shizuru raised an eyebrow, not really liking the implications she thought she felt in that last sentence, but since she still was fingering Konoka's significant other and didn't really intend to stop, she didn't bother to reply.

"What do you say to trying Negi-kun next?" Konoka suggested.

Natsuki pushed herself up on her hands. "Cut it out already! Don't you think you've gone far enough already?"

Konoka made a pout. "Oi, but you two would like having children someday, wouldn't you?"

"I don't ever want to -" Natsuki began hissing.

"I'd love to, eventually," Shizuru said, finally pulling her fingers out of Setsuna and licking them dry delicately, all the while sporting an eerily beautiful and faraway look. "When I'm far older, and long after I have graduated and found a place of my own in life."

"See, that's what I mean," Konoka said. "And love between girls is wonderful, as you've just seen, but sadly, it still can't give us children, and there'd be no better father than Negi-kun -"

"Oh, really," Natsuki said sarcastically.

"I don't understand that," Shizuru said before Konoka could answer. "On top of everything that boy already has in his mind, and you've admitted that you couldn't talk him out of it, why add the weight of fatherhood as well? And don't try fooling us with promises that'll happen far into the future. You are having unprotected sex with him right now, so you must know nature won't wait for you. Aren't you aware at all of what you're doing?"

Konoka remained silent for several moments, as Setsuna stared up at her like an adoring hurt puppy. Finally, the Konoe heiress said, in a small voice, "Maybe I'm just hoping that would be the only thing that would tie him to us before it's too late, before his obsessions drive him away forever. Before he's consumed by his own legend like his father. At least with us, he would have a family, strange as it might be. But once Asuna's gone, he'll need something to keep him anchored. Human. And that only can be us. And even then, the only way he won't reject us anyway is he feels himself bound by his sense of duty."

"That's underhanded," Shizuru commented.

"Yes," Konoka allowed. "It's also the last resort of a desperate heart in love. Don't you think we're aware it'd be a sacrifice for us as well? But as long as it's for him, we won't care. We'll gladly endure social rejection and everything else as long as we have him, and, perhaps more importantly, each other. Because the second Asuna is gone, and then he's gone, we will fall apart. And we can't really allow ourselves that."

"That's the way life is," Natsuki replied.

"But it's gone beyond our lives now," Konoka sighed. "It's bigger and more important than all of us put together. It's for the future. We're the only ones who have a vague idea of what the future could hold, and without us working together ... I'm afraid for everyone, I really am."

"So, it's that serious," Shizuru hummed, sitting up and brushing long brown hair from her face. "Mind telling us what gave you so much insight on the future?"

"You remember Chao, don't you?" asked Konoka, stroking Setsuna's hair softly. "She came from the future, a somber future to be exact. Yeah, I know how wild that sounds. But anyway, she's Negi's descendant ... with which one of us, we have no idea, but -"

Natsuki interrupted her. "Wait. Are you trying to cover all the bases so that girl is born no matter what?"

Shizuru was blinking in mild shock. "Time traveler?" she mused.

Konoka smiled somewhat sadly. "She could come from any of us. Me. Setchan. Chisame-chan. Even you."

Natsuki groaned and sat up as well, covering her face with her hands. "I can't fucking believe any of this."

"So, will you help us, anyway?" asked Konoka. "You don't have to if you don't want, but ..."

Shizuru adopted a heavily, somberly contemplative air, visibly struggling with her own thoughts.

Then she asked, "Does it feel good?"

* * *

As they walked back home down the Sakura Lane boulevard, under a chilly nocturnal breeze, Konoka suddenly asked, "Do you feel okay, Setchan?"

She snapped out of her depressed funk for the moment. "Uh? Oh, of course. Why wouldn't I feel okay?"

"Mmm. You seemed quite lost in your thoughts, and you're far stronger than me, so you possibly couldn't feel as sore as I do."

"I, I. I'm sorry if I was too rough!"

"So worth it," Konoka's smile tugged at the corners of her lips, before she added, sounding more vulnerable than normal. "For me, at least. I'm not too sure about the others. I mean, they seemed to love it while it was going on, but now, I'm not so sure."

"T-The President didn't openly shoot your proposal down, so -"

"No, she didn't. But I really hope that's because of her own volition, and not because I'm manipulating her. Setchan, do you ever feel I manipulate you?" she asked, genuinely concerned.

There was only one answer that could come out of Setsuna's mouth at that. "Of course not!"

"You sure? Because I'd hate it if I was doing that."

"Uhhh ... of course I'm sure!"

"Okay," Konoka simply said. "Good to know," she smiled again, and wrapped an arm around her bodyguard's shoulders.

Even now, Setsuna could and did blush at that.

Much like a kitten can't help hurting the mice they play with, even if its intention wasn't to eat them, so Konoka couldn't help being manipulative to Setsuna. Or at least, several would say so to this day. Of course, others would argue, Setsuna's own personality itself probably made near impossible for Konoka not to manipulate her one way or another by merely suggesting anything. In the end, however, the result was still the same.

Even so, for someone raised and formed to serve like Setsuna, that situation was the closest she could get to true happiness. And so, finally, despite everything, she rested against her Ojou-sama and finally smiled as well.

"I can't help but worry Fate-san will find and punish us any moment now ..."

"Relax, like I told you, he still should be in that meeting."

* * *

Fate Averruncus left the titanic tower of the Mahora branch of Revocs Corporation with a sense of a well accomplished duty, a clean, antiseptic, streamlined feeling that fit his best moods remarkably well. Far from vulgar rejoicing, closer to a military pride forged for years of active service both on the battlefield and the negotiation tables. He could be at peace with himself while experiencing that. It was something he could understand and appreciate for what it was. Lesser beings would have said it made him feel safe about his own value and capacities without giving him that annoying air humans had while boasting about their success. Other lesser beings would have said it was inner boasting under a carefully laid layer of self-denial.

One way or another, Fate felt like walking back home after that. Kiryuin-sama seemed a woman of high ambition, if nothing else, and for the moment, her ambitions and his could co-exist. It would pay to keep a watchful eye on her at all times, but for now, Fate had left her premises feeling reasonably confident he had found a steady ally of mutual convenience for the next few years. Naturally, Negi, and much less Inugami, wouldn't have thought of her that way, which was why he had to come without them. Eventually, at least Negi would understand, Fate was convinced of that.

Because he would make sure of that himself.

Then, while passing near an entrance to an alley, his sharp senses caught on a familiar voice, faintly coming from its end. There were stomping sounds, and the weak pained groan of a man. Fate walked into the alley, hands in his pockets, and he stopped before the two figures he had just found.

"Yuuki-san," he coldly told the surprised redhead who had just dropped a beaten middle aged man, with his wallet in her hand. "You are well aware of the curfew hours, aren't you?"

"Ahh," Yuuki Nao said, suddenly wishing she still had Julia at her beck and call.

The next day, she angrily muttered to herself as she wrote 'I WON'T VIOLATE THE CURFEW AND BEAT MEN UP DURING ILLEGAL DATES' all over and over again on a chalkboard.

"That creep is so going down!" she decided.

* * *

"Before I start," Tenjouin Saki said, extremely serious, "I trust nothing of what is to be said here will leave this room."

Kujou Rin and Fuyisaki Aya nodded, naturally, without doubting for even a second. Both of them were loyal to a fault to the gorgeous blonde heiress and would do anything she told them to, up to and including moves of dubious legality against a perceived threat to Saki's position as the Popularity Queen at the Academy. In looks and skills, they couldn't be more different from each other, but their devotion to the only daughter of the Tenjouins made them equals in at least one regard.

"Very well," Saki said, with a pleased smile. "Just as I expected from my best friends." She meant it, as well; despite their difference in status, she actually saw them as her friends, not as her subordinates, even if ultimately she treated them as the latter. (Mostly because she honestly had no idea of how to treat anyone as anything other than a subordinate, a target for revenge and competitor, or an object of worship - and only one person fit the lattermost role.) Lowering her voice and gesturing for them to come closer, she added, "I have just learned something quite scandalous about Fujino-san."

A few moments later, Rin's hand firmly clasped around Aya's mouth was the sole thing preventing a scream from filling Saki's luxurious room and being heard next door. Not that it would have mattered much, since, as Saki knew, Shizuru was out nominally helping with the preparations for the upcoming School Festival. Rin kept her blood cool as she felt Aya hyperventilating against her, and waited until she calmed down a bit. "You won't scream now, will you?" she asked her.

Aya shook her head, eyes shiny with emotion behind her thick glasses.

Satisfied enough, Rin let go of her mouth. Aya made a weak "Eeeeeeek" out, and then fell into silence, eyes on the floor.

The always calm Rin (not to be confused with the only calm when in public and explosive tsundere in private Rin) then addressed the young woman she was tasked with protecting. "If I weren't hearing it from you, I couldn't believe it, Saki-sama. I know Sakurazaki-san from the Kendo Club, and she's always been proper and decent."

"I have recorded proof," said Saki, not really taking the observation as a slight, but still hastening to dispel it.

"And so ... will you use it against Fujino-san?" asked Aya, pushed her round glasses up.

"Not unless I have to," replied Saki. "What would I achieve by her expulsion? The School Council would fall into the hands of Kanzaki-san, or even worse, Suzushiro-san. Can you imagine a Mahora ran by Suzushiro Haruka of all people?!"

Aya and Rin kept themselves silent as a huge thought balloon showing Kanzaki and Fujino having tea together as Haruka frantically filled out documents in the background.

"Wouldn't that be the same as it is no-" Rin respectfully started.

"What we need," Saki was declaring very firmly, ignoring any counter observations and the people making them, "is to use that knowledge to convince Fujino-san to show me how to advance my relationship with Zastin-sama!"

Rin's hand, despite her own shock, was still fast and well trained enough to block Aya's mouth again. After a few moments of trying to find her own voice over Aya's panicked muffled sounds, all Rin could utter was a strangled "Whaaaat?"

Saki blushed. "W-Well, not to go THAT far, obviously, but applying just a fraction of the amatory arts that harlot has mastered should be enough to convince Zastin-sama to ... kiss me." She twiddled her fingers together. "Despite my beauty, intelligence, charm, wealth and modesty, Zastin-sama still barely notices me, so I grow convinced I need to learn more advanced seduction tactics. If those two could get a stiff humorless person like Sakurazaki-san and a heartless violent thug like Kuga-san under their full control, someone like me, using the same strategies, should have no problems winning Zastin-sama's noble but confused heart!"

"Nuhhh nuhhh pluuuzhhh rucunshudurrr!" Aya desperately begged.

"Th-that might make some sense, but..." Rin hesitated, sweating profusely. "What if those tactics she knows only work on other girls?"

Saki froze.

That made Aya calm down to some degree. Then she quietly spoke, managing to be heard between Rin's loosening fingers, "On second thought, maybe we should ask."

Of course, Saki took that the wrong way. Regaining her confidence, she said, "Yes! We should! I'm glad you agree, Aya. Surely, the techniques to snare mannish women aren't too unlike those to catch men's basest fancies! Tenjouin Saki won't be denied or deterred!" She put a hand next to her mouth in the way Ojous learned during their formative years together and laughed, "OH HO HO HO HO!"

Aya blinked. "That ... that isn't exactly what I meant..."

Elsewhere, one Daidouji Tomoyo perked up. "What's this I feel? There's some strong disturbance in the Ojou Force ... _again!_"

"Huh? What are you saying, Tomoyo-chan?"

"Nothing, forget it," Tomoyo returned her attention to the lovely dress she was putting on her best friend. "Ohhhh, this looks _sooooo_ good on you, Sakura-chan!"

* * *

Knock knock, went the door, and so Mikoto went to open it.

A rather haunted looking Natsuki dragged her steps into Mai's living quarters and past Mikoto, without saying a single word.

"Hm? Oh, hey, Natsuki," Mai said, looking up from her homework. Fate-sensei was growing even more demanding in general. "How did your date -"

Natsuki plopped down at the other end of the table, planted her elbows on the table's surface, and hid her face between her hands.

"... umm. Well, it didn't go as badly as it could have, right?"

"You could say," she finally answered, "it went far too well."

Mikoto approached them. "Did it end in trouble?"

"Yes. Trouble," Natsuki confirmed.

"Ahhhhh." Mai's voice trailed away. "W-Well, you and Shizuru love each other, a lot, so even if it was too soon for ... trouble, in my opinion, even then, it shouldn't be cause for gloom ..."

"Mai. It was trouble between me, Shizuru, Konoe-san and Sakurazaki-san," Natsuki dryly said.

Mai's mouth hung loose, and her eyes shrank down to black dots.

Mikoto whistled. "Oh, those girls sure love their trouble."

Natsuki nodded, reaching for Mai's half-full (half-empty, in Natsuki's current opinion) cup of coffee and drinking from it. "Yes. Yes, they love it very much. It was a lot and a lot of trouble."

Mai picked her jaw back up and rubbed it into place. "Okay, what will you do now? I hope this doesn't hurt your -"

"So do I," Natsuki mumbled. "But I swear, Shizuru can talk me into the wildest and craziest things. Maybe I should have myself checked into that place Akane went."

Mai gave her a suddenly blunt and even fierce glare.

"What?" Natsuki moaned.

Mai waved a finger at her. "Natsuki, I'm ashamed of you. Making jokes about that horrible place, after knowing how much Akane-chan suffered there, and considering it was run by the First District -"

"Ah? No, no, I mean the other one. The one where she went after everything was over. The one that actually helped!"

"Oohhh, that one," Mai said. "Yeah, they sure helped her a lot there. And so quickly, too! I wonder what kind of radical treatments they have there, but Akane-chan won't talk about it, and of course, I won't ask."

* * *

_The Brighton Clinic for Psychiatric Therapy, right outside of Mahora City:_

Dr. Benjamin Brighton, a thin, bearded Caucasian man with glasses, addressed his newest patient, who was straped to a table and heavily restrained.

"No ... YOU look, Mr. Wilson!" he said. "It's your inability to focus ... your incesant jabbering ... that makes you an inefficient killer. But don't worry. What Dr. Brighton can't fix ... the Psycho-Man will!"

The restrained masked Merc looked aside and snickered. "Oh, I get it. This is only for the sake of a highly obscure gag and it won't ever be mentioned or referenced again, right? Well, I sure hope so, at least, considering how this bit originally went on when it was first used. In the meanwhile, sit tight and wait for the next sexually thrilling chapter, boys and girls!"

"There you go again!" the doctor said, exasperated. "Exactly who do you think you're talking to?!"

* * *

**To be Continued.**


	4. Evangeline, Daenerys, Saki, Aya, Rin

_Akamatsu Ken and others created and own all of these characters. Don't sue me._

_Thanks to Darkenning for his original inspiration and proofreading._

_Don't read if you're a minor. You were warned._

* * *

**Chapter Four:**

* * *

Evil laughter boomed through the gigantic resort of Evangeline A.K. Mc Dowell.

"Ah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah!"

Asakura Kazumi briefly tilted her head in that direction. "Sometimes, I really worry about her."

The pale, dark haired Marceline Abadeer shrugged from where she sat lazily on the frame of a massive window, riffing on her guitar. "Pitying a vampire is pointless, girl. Yeah, we can get very kooky at times, but in the end, we outlive everyone, and it's a butt-kicking existence in addition to being long, so it's not like we really deserve or want the mercy."

"Okay, what if we start there, then?" The redhead turned her recorder on, smirking for all those gathered in the luxurious and white-painted room of ... to be honest, Kazumi had no idea at all what was that room intended to be for. Not like any of the present cared. It had been as good a place as any other to have an interview. Paio Zi sobbed softly to herself after being forcibly tied up and tossed into a corner after her wandering hands went too far too many times, but other than that and the occasional echo of Eva's evil cackling, the wide chamber was peaceful and comfortable enough. "Compared to Eva-chan, what kind of vampire are you?"

"Well ..." Marceline said, allowing the guitar to rest on her lap. "Ah, what the heck, I'm feeling like being nice and answering questions today. It's not every day you get to talk to an Old Worlder anyway. Unlike Eva, I never was a human; my mother was, but my father is the demon king of the Nightosphere realm."

"Nightosphere?" Kazumi echoed.

"Hey, we're demons, we can name our realms whatever we please," the vampire girl sneered. "Anyway, when I was still only a little girl, a vampire king bit me and turned me. Later, I hunted him down and killed him, and that's how I became the queen of all Mundus Magicus vampires."

"That story is remarkably similar to Evangeline's," Kazumi noted.

Lina Inverse chuckled from where she rested, arms behind her head, boots aside and bare feet moving casually from side to side. "Well, that's the M.O. of vampire kings. They tend to be creeps who turn little girls, you know? And of course, any girl who gets to make it after that will obviously have revenge in mind, and ..." She swung her hand in a circle.

"Save your saliva for when it's the turn for your story!" Marceline snapped at her. She turned back to Asakura. "That's pretty much it, actually. Not that being the queen of vampires matters much, because vampires are lone creatures and very rarely gather anywhere or obey anyone's orders. Eva is a Mundus Vetus-born and turned vampire, so I wouldn't have any jurisdiction over her, even if she wanted to listen to me. But fighting each other would be too much of a pointless hassle for either, so we just keep our distance as long as we aren't crashing at each other's houses and all that."

"You mean you have been here before?" asked Asakura.

"Geh, no, never this one," said Marceline. "I hadn't heard anything about her for the last fifteen years, but that's hardly rare between vampires. We can disappear for decades at a time, and the others, in the rare case where we care at all, will just assume that vampire is sleeping or keeping a low profile. Which isn't that hard either, because the Thirst isn't as strong as your TV and movies will paint it as. Now start pestering someone else, I have rockin' art to create," she said, turning aside and beginning to play her guitar again, riffing on it while looking for the right way to start a new song.

"Ookayyyy ..." The human girl slowly looked around at the collection of Mundus Magicus beings assembled around her, and finally settled for the most unusual looking one, the lavender-furred unicorn with wings. "How about you then ... Princess Twilight Sparkle, right? Mind telling audiences of Mundus Vetus about your role and your importance in the grand scheme of things?"

"M-Me? Well." The lavender winged unicorn coughed briefly, before explaining. "I'm a student of magic under Princess Celestia, the sovereign of the queendom of Equestria. To complete my education, I was assigned to move far, far away to Ponyville. It was difficult to adapt at first, since I was surrounded by eccentrics from all sides, but I went on to become best friends with them."

"Annnd that reminds me of someone else's story," Kazumi mused aloud.

"Shortly after arriving in Ponyville, the Princess' sister Luna, now calling herself Nightmare Moon, attacked the queendom," Twilight continued. "My new friends Applejack, Rarity, Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy joined me in the quest for the six Elements of Harmony, which could stop Nightmare Moon. We gained control over the Elements and freed Princess Luna from the darkness controlling her. After that, we went on to defeat several other enemies of Equestria, like Queen Chrysalis, Discord the Lord of Chaos, King Sombra and Lord Tirek. We would have helped you with Kosmo Entelekheia, really, but it took us too long to get there, since no one bothered to contact Equestria soon enough." This was said with a sharply accusing glare shot Rakan's way.

He kept on picking his nose. "I thought Kurt would take care of that, really!"

"Wow," Asakura said softly. "Now I know how Chisame feels all the time."

"Ah?" asked Twilight.

The redhead shook her head. "It doesn't matter. Wow, that's a ... really interesting life you've led."

"For a small pastel colored horse, right?" Lina smiled. "Admit it, that's what you were thinking."

Now Asakura looked at her. "Nah, I actually was starting to think about you, Inverse-san. As far as I have heard, you have gained quite a bit of fame on Mundus Magicus, right?"

"I'd rather call it infamy," Rakan pointed out.

"An aura of dread, expanded through fear and intimidation, augmented through brutal conquest and legends of unmatched savagery," Queen Daenerys elaborated.

"Pot, meet kettle!" Lina hissed.

The platinum blonde did not lose her composure. "Whatever gave you the impression that comment was supposed to be insulting?"

Lina looked about to angrily reply to that, but, after thinking it through, she only snorted. "Look, I won't deny respect is respect. And yeah, you could say evildoers are well justified in their fear of me. So what if they call me the 'Bandit Killer'? Let them! That's a title I carry with honor! Bandits have no human rights!"

"Just like slavers," the Queen commented.

"Yeah, people who have no respect for human rights should have their own human rights disrespected!" snickered the bound Chichigami, who was a bandit after all.

"Exactly," Lina and Daenerys bluntly said at once.

"Tsk, while I get the point clearly, I dunno," Rakan said. "I mean, slavery is bad more often than not, yeah, but sometimes it helps forging character, yanno? If I hadn't ever been a slave, I wouldn't be the he-man I am now!"

"And that would be a bad thing, because?" the Queen said, extremely icily.

"Anyway." Lina was back to talking with Asakura. "I am THE most powerful sorceress in Mundus Magicus. That's why they gave me one of these artificial bodies to come here. They wanted nothing but the best here, although for some reason Rakan and Paio here slipped in with us."

"You don't have to be that angry at me," Paio was saying. "I told you, I love your boobies all the same, even if they are sma-"

While Lina kept her left foot firmly pressed against Paio's face, crushing it with her heel, Asakura asked her, "Sooo ... what was your excuse for staying out of the fight with Kosmo Entelekheia, then?"

"Um? Oh, isn't that obvious? No one paid me to get involved back then, of course," answered Lina.

Rakan nodded sagely. "And it's not like anyone can criticize you on that, Hon. Me, I only took part on it myself because of old ties, for the sake of old times!"

"Who are you calling 'Hon', you stupid old man?!"

"Anyway," Marceline said quietly as she kept riffing on her guitar, low enough not to block the interesting lovemaking sounds her sensitive ears were picking up from the direction of Eva's chambers. "What's with that 'greatest sorceress' boast, girl? I wonder what would your big sister say if she heard you now."

Lina's face went completely blank, and then she began hyperventilating. Her fingers clawed and held onto the cushion she had been sitting on, and, with a tense, strained voice, she uttered, "Sh-She doesn't count! As she, she always insists, she's retired from the life of sorcery, and sh-she's g-g-glad to live as a waitress."

Marceline shrugged indolently. "Fair enough."

"Yeah, about that, I've always wondered," Paio said, "what kind of person leaves a life of adventure and glory behind to become a simple wait-"

"SHE, SHE ISN'T A PERSON, AND THERE'S NOTHING SIMPLE ABOUT HER EITHER!" Lina screamed.

Kazumi lifted an eyebrow. "Okay. Now I'm interested."

"Ah, Lina-chan's sister Luna was a freelancer back in the Ala Rubra days, although her heart never really was into it," Rakan reminisced. "Even so, she was one of the scariest bad-ass mofos I've ever met. I daresay she was more fearsome than Princess Arika, although I'll always deny it if you tell anyone. Why, she once killed a plasma dragon with a kitchen knife! I'd actually say she might just have had a wee bit more raw power than Nagi himself, but she was always too lazy and unambitious to go adventuring with us on a regular basis."

"Bite your tongue!" Lina's teeth chattered. "She'll hear you!"

"Oh, come on," Twilight said. "She's all the way in the other-"

"She will find a way to know, I just know it!" Lina all but wailed.

"Ooookay, changing the subject, then." Kazumi addressed the elegant blonde with thick eyebrows now. "Forgive me for not addressing you sooner, Your Majesty, but I was saving the best for the last."

"Hey!" Twilight, Lina and Marceline said all at once.

Queen Daenerys nodded only once. "Base flattery. But you may continue. You desire to learn the story of my life as well, don't you?"

Kazumi nodded back. "I heard bits about you here and there while we were traveling Mundus Magicus, of course, but we were so wrapped up in our own problems, we never had too much time to do research."

The royal took a firm breath. "Very well, so it be. I am the sole remaining child of King Aerys II Targaryen, who himself was a cousin on the third degree of Emperor Alladia Entheofushia of Vespertatia. My family ruled, as I now rule, over the island of Dragonstone and its surroundings. When my father succumbed to madness and perished at the hands of another, I was sold in marriage to Lord Khal Drogo, whom fathered a child on me. However, my husband was mortally wounded in battle, and my child died before he could be born."

"..." Kazumi said, a bit stunned by the casual recitation of terrible tragedy.

Undeterred, the queen continued, "When my brother Viserys died, I set out to claim my birthright as the sovereign of the House Targaryen, and through several campaigns, I would say I have mostly achieved that goal. However, the path of the monarch is thorny and never ending, and keeping the throne is even more difficult than seizing it. Normally, I would never leave my domains in this fashion, but Theodora, one of the very few I trust to any degree whatsoever, convinced me to act as representative of the governments of Mundus Magicus here. Whereas the survival of our whole world depends on Young Springfield's gamble, it has been agreed by all countries all conflicts between us are of a lesser priority than our task at hand at the moment."

Rakan snorted. "Oh, c'mon, why are you giving her the abridged, sanitized version of your life story? You left all the good parts out!"

She gave him the iciest of glares. "My story is not a tale for anyone's amusement. She has been told what she needs to know."

"You won't object if I fill in the holes, right?" he grinned, pulling a film projector out of seemingly nowhere. "Pay attention, Reporter Girl! This is an epic tale of bloodshed, drama, murder, betrayal, food porn, nudity and incest I like to call it 'A Game of Fire and Ice'! Or 'Song of Thrones'. I can't decide on one yet, so I made sure to copyright 'em both for when I sell the rights to H-"

Daenerys' right foot was firmly planted on his mouth right now. "You will do no such thing!"

"Incest?" Kazumi repeated the sole word that had been a surprise among all the terms she had come to expect from affairs of royalty. "Wait, if that story includes such things, and you're distantly related to Negi-kun, then his roots -"

Marceline shrugged. "That was a common thing among several royal houses in the old times of Mundus Magicus. Most have abandoned the practice, although the clan of Khaleesi here kept fooling around with it longer than most others."

The Queen sat back, with a completely dignified air to her. "Denying the facts is as pointless as dwelling on them."

Rakan wiggled his eyebrows at Kazumi's lingering expression of concern. "Hey, don't be so sick worried, Red. I'm sure your children with Negi-kun will be healthy and smart as hell. Nagi took the defective genes of four Springfield generations all for himself!"

Against her normal custom, Asakura was annoyed enough by that to plant her foot on his face now. Luckily she was wearing shorts. Well, luckily for her. "That wasn't funny!"

Everyone else was staring at her now.

"What?" Asakura snorted.

"Oooooo!" Paio cooed. "So you like the miniature Nagi-sama as well!"

Lina snickered, with a cat-like little smile. "Fu, fu, fu, watch out for that, girlie. Romance is a bad thing for us working women."

Twilight rolled her eyes. "Guys, please, don't start with this. We are all far more mature than this, except the Idiot Who Can Be Stabbed All Day Long, and it'd be just plain rude to intrude -"

_"Negi and Asakura-san, sitting under a tree, ki-ssiiiiing!"_ Marceline pointed and sing-sang.

Twilight sighed. "Why do I bother."

Asakura clenched her teeth. _All right, I won't get angry, I won't get angry, I won't lose my cool no matter what ..._

Meanwhile, the Queen intently watched her, studying her expression and subdued, subtle reactions of actual frustration. And she wondered.

* * *

_Meanwhile...  
_  
"In fact," continued Asuna, "I think you satisfy us so much that, in the spirit of classroom solidarity and that of being a mid-level boss of evil -"

"Future," Eva interjected, smile banished for a suspicious look. "Future mid-level boss of evil."

"Yes-yes-yes," Asuna replied dismissively. "In those spirits, I think we ought to share your talents with the rest of the class, both because all the girls will really enjoy it and because it will be wicked fun to corrupt the entire class under the eyes of the administration and, in particular, Fate." She beamed malevolently. Well, that was what she was going for, at least.

Evangeline stared. "You want the boya to have sex with all the girls in the class?"

Asuna nodded proudly.

Evangeline looked away. Sniffling noises may have been made.

"Are you -"

"I am not crying tears of pride as your mentor of evil!" she proclaimed without looking back.

"Right," said Asuna, then glanced up at Negi, who had a very bland look on his face. "I was expecting you to chime in with 'don't I get a say in this' by now," she told him.

"We all know what the answer would be, don't we?" he asked rhetorically. With a sigh, he continued. "Just to be clear, 'all the girls in the class' means 'all the girls in the class and no one else', right?"

Asuna slapped her hands together. "Why, Negi, that's a great idea, actually! Just think of all the burnt bridges we could rebuild with 3-F."

"That's not what I meant! That is in fact the exact opposite of what I just -"

"I guess I could hook you up with Tepes," Evangeline mused, ignoring him of course. "It'd be a great thing to rub in those decrepit lords' faces, and then maybe she'd let me have some fun with her werewolf boytoy too."

_"Master!"_ Negi squealed like a dying pig.

"And those girls - Momioka and her meganekko friend - have been asking a lot around, about your grownup form," Asuna tip-toed her fingers across his chest.

"You can't be serious!" he cried.

"It's decided then!" Evangeline smirked and slammed a fist on her hand palm. "You're doing the whole school and a few others, too, Boya!"

"We are!" Asuna said.

"Oh, that goes without saying!" Eva waved the observation away.

**"BUT I'LL DIE!"** Negi was sure of it.

Elsewhere, Konoe Konoemon shuddered. "Why do I feel like I'd better start taking preparations to kill an immortal before I lose everything? Powerful Hand, where'd I put Powerful Hand's number ..."

Oh, yeah, and somewhere in between all of this, Kotaro fucked Chizuru, as well. The non-Honsho variety, that is.

* * *

At the same time, Asakura shuddered briefly while submerged up to her shoulders in the large main pool of Evangeline's baths. "What's with this sudden feeling of dread all of a sudden?" she wondered aloud.

A moment later, the door opened and in walked a fully naked Queen Daenerys, slowly making her way to the water and steeping into it. "Perhaps," she said, "you are beginning to fully understand the meaning of what will happen to your friend now. It is truly a terrible sacrifice to impose upon anyone, no matter how noble its cause may be."

Kazumi briefly pondered teaching the other young woman how you were supposed to take baths in Japan, but seeing they technically weren't in Japan now, she decided against it. Instead, she said, "Your Majesty, it wasn't forced upon her ... which I suppose should make it better, but somehow, it doesn't."

"Naturally," the Queen calmly said. After a short silence, she added, "There is something I would like to ask you, now that the others are not around."

"Then ask," Kazumi answered, although she was aware that was one of the worst possible ways to start a conversation if you wanted to remain in control.

"Your feelings for Young Springfield are indeed genuine, or not?"

_You too? I was supposed to be the one who messed around with others!_ "In a way. I mean, I obviously respect him a lot, probably more than I've ever respected anyone ... but calling that love? I don't think either of us should be thinking about that yet."

"And besides, he is far too close to Princess Asuna for anyone else to steal that position in his heart, probably even after she is gone," the Queen observed, rubbing herself all over with a tense arm. "That degree of connection they showed during battle ... never before had I seen two souls in such synchrony."

"I guess," Asakura shrugged non-commitally.

"They were oddly unfazed about being nude in such proximity," the Queen observed. "I thought your society had very strong taboos on the subject."

"Well, against that, and against incest."

"Does that still burden your heart? As the vampire queen told you, most royal houses left such customs behind long ago, including, from what I know, that of Vespertatia. You cannot allow that fear to cloud your judgement when it comes to your future with him."

"I don't-" Kazumi had forgotten she was interrupting a Queen and commander of legions until said woman silenced her with nothing but a mild stare.

She continued as if Asakura hadn't spoken at all. "My mother and father were siblings, and my father, also the result of several generations of inbreeding, went insane in his old age, as many of our family before him did. Yet I will not allow that fear to control my life. I refuse to live in dread of the day the Targaryen madness may claim me, for that is the easiest and fastest path to that very same insanity. And neither will I allow it to stop me from securing a heir eventually. You, whose bloodline is presumably clear of those elements, should fear it even less so."

Asakura, who had been processing that information in stunned silence from the first sentence, only could nod slowly.

"Be honest with me, as I have been to you," Daenerys sternly told her. "I will learn the truth either way, so lying is pointless. That sudden apprehension concerning the young man's bloodline means you have been with him, am I right?"

"Uhhhhh ..."

"I thought so."

"I haven't said anything yet," Kazumi began lightly splashing her own face with water.

"You didn't have to."

She sighed. "I guess it comes with the job position, right? Reading others around you so they don't backstab you at the first chance, and all of that..."

"It is a gift that must be mastered quickly and efficiently," the Queen confirmed.

Kazumi leaned back against the pool's edge. "I don't want to fall in love."

"Now that is a more understandable concern."

"He's always been so extremely nice to everyone. He's innocent and generous, smart and beautiful, but that's exactly why I don't want to fall in love with him, you know? I don't want anyone who is that perfect. I never could get him, and even if I did, I wouldn't know what to do with him."

"Yet you have already given the greater part of yourself to him."

"That ... that was a mistake," Asakura began rubbing her own nose.

"Like as not it was, but is it the mistake your heart wanted?"

Yes.

"Yes."

"Then I would suggest that you strive to be there for him when she is gone, and, at the very least, see how he develops as a man from there. He will need you, one way or another. As either his woman, or his friend. That is all the advice I can give you," she said, rising from the water in all her glory.

Kazumi looked up at her before standing up as well. "Actually, Your Majesty, there is something else you could do for me. Although someone of your position -"

"If it is within my power, I will not deny it to a savior from Ala Alba."

"Thank you very much. Then, ummmm ... not that I'm saying I'm going to pull this through with Negi, naturally, but I figure I might marry anyway at some point, and I doubt I'll ever choose a nobody, so given you were the wife to a powerful man ..."

"I will teach you the best I can of the principles a strong mate must follow," she nodded, "But keep in mind, much of this cannot be taught. It must be experienced."

"Of course. Then, how should I -"

Then the Queen's arms were around her. "To start with the basest, and build up to the highest, I will teach you what I once was taught - how to satisfy a husband as they do in the best pleasure houses of Lys."

"Um, actually, I was thinking more along the diplomatic aspects of-" Kazumi began nervously before her buttocks were cupped and a wet mouth pressed against hers.

Damn, but she was better at that than Setsuna. Much better, even, which wasn't a slam against Setsuna. After all, that encounter had been remarkably mind blowing coming from someone who also was a newbie herself. But even so, that couldn't compare to this. Over the last half hour, or so Asakura dimly calculated with the tiny portions of her brain that still cared about time and could estimate it, the Queen had been applying all sorts of exotic techiques to incite pleasure, and while Asakura couldn't fathom how half of them could work on a man, she was sure she'd never forget them all the same.

Now, arched against the edge of the pool, with her feet planted on the tiled floor and her hair touching the water and floating free on its surface, Kazumi made what she was sure had to be an ahegao face, or whatever they called that stupid face with the rolled back eyes that were so prevalent in Haruna's stupid comics. Meanwhile, the Queen, nice royal ass stuck high, knelt between her legs, practicing the latest iteration in a long string of combinations applied on Kazumi's body. While her tongue washed and licked all over Kazumi's vulva and clitoris, and one of her hands pinched and touched all sorts of apparent erogenous points on one of Asakura's feet, the other hand teased and tickled the anal entrance of the junior reporter. The mixed feelings all of that sent through Kazumi's body promptly pushed her into another screaming orgasm that swallowed the soft 'Clop, Clop' sounds of hooves against the tiles.

"- ah, so there you are, Your Majesty, I see you must have dropped a -" Twilight Sparkle-san, with a towel flung over her back, around the shoulders, if horses really had shoulders, which was something Kazumi couldn't even begin to fathom now, had just stopped a few steps away from the couple, while one of her eyes bugged out and the other one shrank down.

Kazumi looked over at the young talking winged unicorn representative from a country of talking horses while she reeled from the orgasm brought to her by the dragon controlling queen still placed above her, and decided that her life had reached a point of no return, as is most often the case when you are caught in sex with dragon royalty by talking animals.

"- I haven't seen anything!" the alicorn princess stiffly said, then backed the hell away, and moments later, heavy sounds of galloping could be heard down the hallway.

Kazumi covered her own eyes with a forearm and grumbled. "Please keep going."

That was the first time any royalty actually obeyed one of her instructions. (Negi didn't really count, in Kazumi's opinion, since he neither had any functional authority nor had been raised with it.) Asakura decided she liked being obeyed by royalty very much.

* * *

"- and that's why I think importing a live tiger for the Festival is a very bad idea," Suzushiro Haruka finished her exposition, slamming both hands on the meeting table of the Student Council's reunion room, making her large breasts bounce under the tight uniform's shirt.

"Okay, how about a zebra, then?" asked Shizuru, apparently taking notes about Haruka's points but actually just sketching Natsuki (and a random Konoka here and there) in her favorite notebook. "It basically achieves the same exotic effect without -"

The door flew open, and in walked Tenjouin Saki, closely followed as always by her cronies Aya and Rin. "Excuse me!" the newcomer blonde said, in response to Haruka's deadly icy stare and the mild confusion of the rest of them. She favored Tate, Kanzaki Reito AND Kikukawa Yukino with a calculated sensuous smile before stopping right before Shizuru's seat, telling her, "I need to speak with you. In private."

"Anything that can be discussed with her during business hours must be discussed in presence of the rest of the Council," Haruka growled, while Yukino quietly fanned herself behind her, her cheeks oddly pink.

Shizuru actually nodded at that. "She is right, Tenjouin-san," she said, marking a historical first. "We were debating academy logistics of the utmost importance."

"It won't take long," Saki promised, her tone unflinching.

"No matter how long it might take, private matters are to be treated after meeting hours," Haruka intervened in a very curt tone. "The President has no time for games or trivialist issues right now."

"It's not about anything trivial," the other blonde shot back, making sure to emphasize that word. "It's ... well, since we are neighbors, there's been a leak between our rooms, and -"

Shizuru perked up in very mild alarm.

"Then call a plumberologist!" an exasperated Haruka told her. "Do we look like we fix pipe tubes while killing turtles in the sewer system?"

A small drop of sweat appeared on Reito's head. "I'm sure real plumbers don't hunt for killer turtles, Haruka-san. Outside of New Jersey, at least."

Saki clenched her teeth. "But ... the President's room is ... flooding, you see, because there have been wet leaks since last night."

"Oh my," Shizuru quietly said.

"And of course, it's my duty as her neighbor - and friend," Saki boasted with a knowing smile, "to inform her of what I know. I'm afraid something may have been broken after her last visit with Kuga-san, Konoe-san and Sakurazaki-san."

"I believe that this is important," Shizuru abruptly said, standing up. "Please handle matters in my absence as you think best, Reito-san, Haruka-san."

"But -" Haruka began grumbling.

"Thank you, I knew you'd understand. I'm indebted to you!" her nemesis said, taking Saki by a hand and quickly leading her out of the room, leaving Tate utterly shocked as they passed by before him.

Then, Rin bowed politely for the rest of the council and walked out after her mistress and the other Ojou.

Aya and Yukino's gazes, for a moment, locked on each other. During that split second, there was a spark of primal communion between them, a very brief sense of sisterhood between kindred souls. Or so Yukino thought, in her momentary daze, but before she knew it, Aya was gone as well.

Haruka looked bristling and red-faced for a moment, her expression clenching tightly in a mask of fury. But then her face relaxed into a wry, sly smirk, and she hummed to herself, "Indebted, hmmmm? All of you are my witnesses to that, aren't you? Yukino?"

"Hmmm?" the bespectacled girl pushed her glasses up. "Um, oh, sure thing, Haruka-chan!"

"Man," Tate muttered, still looking at the door. "This isn't going to end well either, will it? I already can feel it."

Reito laughed lightly, making Tate cringe. "Come on, Tate-kun, you are still paranoid about things. Let's all move on already. So, about that zebra ..."

"Can't we get the same effect on a much smaller budget painting a horse on black and white stripes?" asked Haruka.

* * *

"So, at last, the great and powerful Fujino Shizuru admits her true place in the establishment of Mahora," Tenjouin Saki boasted, arms folded, in the middle of the wide field of lillies behind the headquarters of the Student Council. "It is fitting, after all, for a President to rank beneath a Queen!"

"Is this all about feeding your ego, Tenjouin-san?" Shizuru coldly said. "I believed you had enough people to take care of that already."

"Oh my. Defiant to the end," Saki smirked. "I really love that in a rival, and I must say, other than Lala-san, you came closer to that than anyone, Fujino-san. I really regret Suzushiro-san can't see how I bested her at discovering your shameful weak points, but she'd only rush to bring about your downfall."

"At the very least, despite all her many, many flaws, Suzushiro-san would never stoop low enough to resort to blackmail on flimsy premises, Tenjouin-san," Fujino evenly replied.

The blonde took a hand to her own chest. "Blackmail? Blackmail implies extortion, a trick for lessers to take advantage of their betters. And there is nothing that you have that I don't have already, Fujino-san, so of course I couldn't be blackmailing you! Would you call it blackmail, Rin, Aya?" She turned to her two followers, who waited a few steps behind Saki, with the air of an innocent accused damsel.

"Of course not, Saki-sama!" Aya said quick and energetically. Rin denied with her head, but her expression was far more reluctant than her partner's.

Saki nodded to herself and turned back towards Shizuru. "If anything, I'm doing you a favor ... by letting you know how careless you have been, before others, like Suzushiro-san, can exploit you without a fair warning."

"Thanks, then," Shizuru said, in a perfectly pleasant tone that still chilled Aya and Rin.

Saki frowned. She was expecting far more despair and angst. "As for the alleged flimsiness of my premises, let me assure you - I have undeniable audio evidence of your misdeeds. No one will be able to mistake your characteristic voice when ... I mean, if ... they hear it."

"I'll take that as praise for the qualities of my voice," Shizuru said, with a brighter fearsome smile, and making sure to exaggerate her accent just a bit.

"Ah, yes, well," Saki coughed. "Since we are neighbors and almost equals, I will make an exception and bend the rules only this time, as a favor to the academic community that has come to rely on you so much."

"Oh dear, how benevolent," Shizuru said.

"Indeed," Saki replied. "And after all, my heart, always open to the turbulent passions of youthful love, has taken pity on your base but understandable urges. As a matter of fact, I'll gladly help you to overcome them. Tell me, then, how did you come to involve yourself in such a scandalous situation with your beloved, even though she always acted cold and distant before."

"Oh, so I do have something that you don't, after all," Shizuru plainly said, making Saki's teeth grind together. "You don't have to be so shy, Tenjouin-san. I'd be perfectly happy to help you catch your own beloved's fancy without the need for reverse psychology, but, alas ..." She looked aside with a hand on a cheek. "I am nothing but an apprentice in the arts of love myself. As you'd no doubt know if you had been paying attention, Konoe-san was guiding me the whole time. If you are looking for advice on the arts of seduction, you should look to her."

Part of being a good leader, as her father had taught Shizuru, was delegating responsibilities to others. Especially when those others were at fault to begin with.

"I wasn't using psychology -" a red-faced Saki began babbling, before settling for a mild, "Konoe-san, huh?"

Shizuru nodded.

"Konoe-san," Saki repeated, chewing on one of her thumbs, before nodding. "Um, it's not like I have anything to ask her at all, of course, but I just remembered I have important queenly matters to attend elsewhere. Come along, Aya, Rin," she quickly began leading her henchgirls away.

Shizuru waved at them, still with the same placid smile, until they were out of sight. Then she pulled her cellphone out. "Konoka-san? It's me. There's trouble heading your way."

* * *

"Dear Princess Celestia; today, I learned how different customs from other species should be respected, even if we have to ... ahhhh, no, that won't work either!" Twilight stopped pacing around her room and bopped her fore hooves against her forehead, just below the horn. "I can't even tell her what's going on! Maybe I should adopt the Pinkie Principle, even if I haven't promised anything yet?" she wondered aloud, her right eyebrow pulsing. "I got it! Spike, take note -" she eagerly said, before deflating sadly. "Oh. That's right."

She took a melancholic look at the rest of her bedroom and sighed.

* * *

_Mundus Magicus, Equestria, Ponyville:_

The rainstorm was heavy and furious, and in the darkness of the Carousel Boutique, Rarity sighed as Sweetie Belle cuddled up in bed against her. "Very well, you win, you can sleep here tonight."

"Thank you, Sister."

Then there was a purr coming from her other side.

"You too, of course, Opal."

Then, there was a pause.

"Spike," Rarity finally said, struggling to keep her calm, "Are you sure Twilight let you sleep with her during storms? Because I don't remember her ever mentioning that."

He hummed as he cozily snuggled against her flank. "You're so much more generous than her."

At times like this, she wished she could have landed Honesty.

* * *

"Fu, fu, fu, fu..." a low throaty chuckle that was almost as evil and disturbing as Discord's (or possibly the other way around, but that determination would require more experiences with it, which Twilight fortunately lacked as yet) came from right behind her, startling the alicorn and making her spin around in a defensive stance, horn shining. She didn't lower her guard when she realized it was the mistress of the resort who had snuck behind her. "So, my little pony is indeed as innocent and naive as her appearance would convey! I expected a bit more nerve from a student of Celestia, but then, you're still young. Did she ever tell you about Sunset Shimmer?"

"I **defeated** Sunset Shimmer," Twilight Sparkle said, standing her ground still.

"Big-whooping accomplishment," Evangeline, clad in only a light black teddy, examined her long black fingernails with an aloof air. "And yet, after all of that, Cel hasn't seen fit to tell you about the birds and bees yet?"

"I know about ... those things, it's just it hasn't-" Twilight started a protest before asking, "Wait, are you aware of what they were doing back there?"

"I am aware of everything that happens in this place, child ... filly ... whatever." The immortal vampire folded her arms. "And don't ever forget that."

"Aaaanndddd ... didn't it bother you?"

"Not particularly, no, as long as they bother to clean up afterwards. Which I know they will."

"Okayyyy. That's ... good to know, I suppose."

"Yes."

"And I imagine that's related to how you could appear in my room without any warning, not even a slight pulse of magic before the -"

"**My** room, which I generously allow you use despite my best judgment," Evangeline growled.

"Ah, naturally." A beat ensued. "Thanks again for that."

"Hmmmm," Eva said. And then, with a shrug of shoulders, "I don't really mind if you tell Celestia about any of this. Like she'd ever move her fat hindquarters off that throne unless she really had to anyway." Before Twilight could voice her protest about this choice of words, Evangeline continued, "She's always been the live and let live type, in any case. So you can stop angsting over it, little one. I've had my fill of angsty people hanging around my place by now!"

_"Up yours, Eva," said Marceline, elsewhere._

"Thanks, once more, that's really ... did you say 'any' of this? Do you mean there's even more to this than...?"

"Hrrrmmmm, yes, actually, this is all part of our evil project to see how many we can wrap into a web of carnal sin with Boya before I grow bored with it. You know, standard evil overlord entertainment, although I don't think King Sombra was into that. I heard he was impotent. The Dragon Queen was teaching Asakura how to better pleasure a lover. Is teaching, actually. They should be going for the sausage prize any moment now."

"Aaa-aahhhhh?" Twilight managed to ask despite her unhinged jaw.

"Yes, Boya's already been with me, Asakura, Kagurazaka, Konoe, Sakurazaki and that Hasegawa girl you briefly met during the victory party. Oh, and some other random girl from the Academy, I think," Eva carelessly said as she headed for the room's door, without looking back. "But they all need to improve at it, so that's what they're working on before we can expand the circle further. Not that such things concern you. Evil or not, we aren't into bestiality, sorry. Well, except for Murakami and Kugimiya, maybe..."

"But! B-Buh-But -!"

"I said no, sorry!" Eva nonchalantly said before walking out the door. "Good night!"

"I DIDN'T MEAN THAT!" Twilight shrieked before the door shut close behind the tiny blonde.

And then her snout crunched up into a frown.

* * *

"I see, so that's how it is," Konoka said as she sat across her dinner table facing Saki and her two friends. She didn't sound terribly upset about being exposed, much to Saki's continued exasperation. "Then, are you angry at us?"

"Angry?" Saki blinked at the unexpected word. "Uh ... it's not like I should be angry, since after all I'm above such matters. Upset about the academy's moral standards being violated by people I considered my peers, sure, but -"

"I'm so sorry to have disappointed your expectations, Sempai." Konoka bowed, which made Saki shiver inwardly. After hitting a block with Fujino, she had expected for more success with the younger girl, but to her frustration, this girl was in even greater control of herself than Fujino. "May I do something, anything, to make up to you?" she asked.

_Ah-hah, an opening!_ Saki crowed, like the panther congratulating itself while advancing towards easy bait. "Well," she said, looking aside in pondering, "I really want to help you cope with this situation, that's all I ask for. Good deeds are their own rewards, aren't they? But if I am going to steer you away from the wrong path, I need to know how you got onto it. Which steps you took to swamp yourself so deeply into immorality."

"Ah, that would be a very long story, Sempai," Konoka mused. "Asuna and Negi-kun will arrive shortly, and I haven't cooked dinner yet."

Rin stood up. "I'll cook for you, so you don't have to concern yourself, Konoe-sama," she said. "For the time being, nothing is more important than this conversation with Saki-sama."

"Oh, that's very kind of you," Konoka smiled. "Sempai is really fortunate to have you as -"

"Wait," Saki realized something. "You just said 'Negi-kun'. Is he coming back after all?"

"Oh, that's right, you didn't know that part yet," Konoka said. "Well, since we were going to ask for your help with the project eventually anyway, and you'll share everything with Kujou-sempai and Fujisaki-sempai, I suppose I might as well tell you now, before we have anymore unfortunate misunderstandings."

Saki blinked. "What ... what do you mean?"

Konoka smiled and pulled a small wand out of her breast pocket. "You have had several adventures with aliens, so I assume you aren't the type that gets rattled easily over the supernatural and superhuman anymore, are you, Sempai?"

"I'm not the type that gets rattled easily, period," Saki's eyes narrowed in suspicion. "I demand to know what kind of game are you trying to play here -"

_"Lux,"_ Konoka said, after a few other seemingly random words in what sounded like Latin, waving the wand a little, and a blinding flash filled the room.

Saki rubbed her eyes. "Konoe-san! what was the point of trying to blind me with that toy?"

A few minutes of explanation later, Saki learned that she **was** easily rattled.

* * *

Twilight Sparkle pouted, posing before her room's mirror, intently looking at the back part of herself that most humans of Mundus Magicus, for some reason, would call a 'plot' when talking about Equestrian ponies.

"How could this not be attractive? I know it's another species, but still..."

She shook her head to herself and went for a book. She needed to distract herself from that train of thoughts. She really needed to.

* * *

Asuna and Negi slept together, naked, in Negi's bedroom at the resort, quietly holding each other.

They made such a beautiful sight, now that the raging passion of their mating had given pass to the calm relaxation (so rarely seen in either of them lately) of their shared rest. They were a lovely vision of youthful raw charm, embracing in innocent sin, if such a thing existed. It was a thing that would have warmed even the coldest of hearts.

Unfortunately, while Evangeline's heart was briefly warmed up, she made sure to quickly turning the cold back on.

"WAKE UP ALREADY, YOU LAZY BUMS!" she boomed, punting Negi and Asuna out of bed, making them fly in opposite directions flailing their arms around. "IT'S TIME TO LEAVE ALREADY!"

* * *

Asakura panted and wheezed as she finally gathered enough strength to get up from Daenerys' bed, shakily reaching for her clothes.

"That," the blond woman coolly told her from where she still rested on her back, "was the first course in your bedroom education. You have done remarkably well for a beginner. For your next lesson, I will coordinate you in actual intercourse with your mate."

Now Asakura did look back at her, pausing while she had been clipping her bra back on. "What," she said.

* * *

Lina Inverse stopped at the bath's edge and sniffed. "_What_ were these people doing here last night?"

Marceline, who was more worldly about such subjects, just moved into the water, because not all vampires are weakened by it. Somewhere else, Akashiya Moka experienced an unexplained ephemeral pang of envy. "Probably nothing that you'd want to learn about."

* * *

As they left Evangeline's cottage behind, Asuna asked Negi, "Aren't you the slightest bit worried about what they'll do while they're here?"

"Hmmm? Oh, you mean our Mundus Magicus friends?"

"Friends is kinda stretching it, but yeah."

Negi shrugged. "I doubt Twilight-san will want to or even be able to leave the cottage as long as she's here, so no one should be startled by her presence at Mahora."

"I don't mean her!" Asuna said. "I'm worried about letting the perverted breast maniac, the rocker vampire, the mercenary black mage, and, worst of all, Rakan, on the loose in Mahora!"

Negi stopped abruptly.

"So now you see, huh?" Asuna huffed.

Negi, visibly shaken, still kept on marching ahead. "I'm sure Eishun-sama, the Master and Takamichi will keep a watchful eye on them."

* * *

"Damn it," Takahata muttered. "Jack slipped away again? I thought you were keeping a watchful eye on him!"

"I thought _you_ were!" Eishun claimed.

Godel smiled while enjoying his breakfast. Well, now that they were out of the resort, it was technically his dinner. "Oh, were we supposed to be babysitting him? Last time I saw him, he was with that bounty hunter from Black Dog, talking about a panty raid of some sort."

Takahata stared daggers at him.

Godel vaguely shrugged. "Did you think I'd involve myself with such trivial matters, even if only to stop them?"

"You are enjoying this, aren't you," Eishun accused.

"Me? Enjoying watching my old comrades in arms squirm in dread for once? That's just preposterous."

Lina walked past them, in a casual light shirt and shorts. "I'm going sight-seeing. Do you know of any good taverns around this place? Also, if any of you happen to see the Dragon Queen, could you ask her what the hell was she doing in the baths yesterday?"

* * *

"So there you have it," Konoka said, with that small sweet smile of hers.

Aya and Saki sat there, aghast, while Rin kept working at the kitchenette trying her best to remain stable despite everything she had just overheard.

Finally, Saki said, "So, you're asking for financial support on this enterprise of yours."

"A lot of people depend on it, so yes, it would be nice," Konoka said.

Saki looked down again at the album open on the table before her, examining its strange pictures of beast-men, whale-ships, witches flying on brooms and the occasional cat-eared girl, and said, "Have you told Lala-san about this?"

Konoka shook her head, then asked, "Should we?"

Saki shook her head as well, far more rapidly. "Of course not. It's good you came to me for it first. It shows you recognize true greatness over pretense when you see it."

"B-But we were the ones who came to - never mind," Aya said in a tiny voice.

"You don't have to give an answer just yet," Konoka said delicately. "We understand you couldn't have much say in your father's enterprises yet -"

"Yes I do!" Saki sounded offended.

Konoka blinked. "I didn't intend to -"

Saki folded her arms. "Don't mistake me for an easily impressed person! I have seen and experienced even more strange incidents than you have. As for my father's business, he greatly respects my opinion." That was true in her own mind, at least. "Whenever you decide to approach him, I will support you."

"Thanks a million, Sempai," Konoka said.

Aya was moved to the brink of tears, which admittedly wasn't difficult at all whenever Saki-sama was involved. _Oh, Saki-sama! Always quick to help those in need! Always a champion of the lost and the underdog! Generously sharing your wealth with those living in your shadow! And THAT WAY your bright smile tugs upwards when you bask in that sincere knowledge of how you wonderful you are…  
_  
"So, about helping me conquer Zastin-sama's heart..." Saki said.

_... although your tastes in men could use some improvement,_ Aya thought.

"Oh. That," Konoka replied, blinking. "Um, to be sure ... I'm not that sure I could help you. The only man I've ever, for lack of a better term, gotten, is Negi-kun, and he was ... receptive. I have no idea how could I seduce a man who ... ahhhhh ..."

"A man who paid you no attention?" Saki frowned.

"I wasn't trying to say that!" Konoka quickly said. "I barely know anything about him at all, so I couldn't find the right words. All I know about him is he often follows Lala-sempai around and seems to work for her, and you're in love with him but he, for some incomprehensible reason or another, hasn't responded the way you'd like him to."

Saki sniffed. "I blame his old fashioned, chivalrous and admirable but still outdated, code of property. That's why I want you help! If you got even a typical English gentleman like Sensei wrapped around your finger, you also could do the same for a hot blooded adult male! That is, I mean, not that you'd get him, but I'd get him, by acting like you, to some degree at least, not like I'd go th-th-that far, it's just -"

"But you'd need Asuna for that," Konoka said. "She was the one to pop Negi-kun's cherry, I only went in after her."

Saki took a hand to her forehead and rubbed it. First Fujino sent her to Konoe, now Konoe sent her to Kagurazaka. It was starting to look like they only were messing around with her. "... very well. And when could I speak on the subject with Kagurazaka-san, then?"

"Tadaima!" Asuna said from the front door, and then she and Negi stopped when they noticed the visitors. "Oh, hey there. Good afternoon, there, um ... what were your names again?"

"Tenjouin-san, Fujisaki-san!" Negi bowed. "What a pleasure to see you, but it's also very unexpected. Is there something we can help you with?"

"... how do you remember this stuff?" Asuna asked.

"Ah, Negi-kun, Asuna-chan!" Konoka waved. "Guess what, Tenjouin-san will help us with the Space Elevator! And all she's asking for in return are tips on how to fuck the boy she likes! Isn't she just wonderful?"

Aya began choking violently on her saliva as Negi and Saki's faces were rushed over by a sudden flood of flesh-coloring blood. Rin's head slowly peeked out the kitchen, threateningly.

Asuna, meanwhile, only hummed. "Oh, that's right, now I remember you. You're the Campus Queen, aren't you?"

"Ahhhh ... yes," Saki said, with a far lower tone (and far less hammy choice of words) than she'd normally have used to answer that question.

And Asuna smiled very widely. "Well, sorry for forgetting that, then! Of course we'll help you, Sempai! Man, man, we have to be doing something just right if even the most beautiful and popular girl in campus comes to us for help."

"Ah, ah, why yes, thanks, you're, um, far more perceptive than Ayaka-san gives you credit for, but you'll see, he's a very special man, so of course he will need nothing short of special ... effort," Saki lamely finished.

Asuna wagged a finger. "Tsk tsk, all men, elite or not, like the same things, Sempai. No matter how much they'll deny it, right, Negi?"

"I'm Nagi, not Negi, I -" he said, blubbering on uncertainty on how much could be said in the presence of the visitors, even after Konoka's F-Bomb.

Picking up on that, Asuna asked her friend, "Do they know everything?"

Konoka shrugged. "Maybe I went too fast?"

After a moment of considerations, Asuna settled for a "Nahhh." And then she moved closer to Konoka. "You'll see, Sempai, all men, well, all straight men anywhere, react the same, basically, to a few things they can't resist, regardless of upbringing and social position. Simple things any girl with the right mindset can achieve. Things like - pay attention - this."

And she lowered her face and began to slow, sensually kiss Konoka's mouth, while Saki's eyes bugged out and Aya stumbled backwards into her chair.

Rin blinked twice, then quickly retreated back into the kitchen.

"- I have to do **that** to impress a man?" Saki said weakly, while Asuna and Konoka tugged on each other's clothes, falling onto the couch at the same time. Negi remained behind, sighing and facepalming. "Suh-Surely there must be easier, far less questionable ways!"

"No doubt," Negi said, arms crossed now. "Although I'm no expert on male seduction myself. But it seems this is Asuna and Konoka's way, so maybe you'd feel better looking elsewhere."

Aya nodded very fast, hiding her blushing face between her hands but still peeking between her fingers. "Th-That's some very good advice, Saki-sama!"

The blonde stared, with train wreck morbid fascination, at the way Asuna was tugging Konoka's skirt down her legs before pushing her panties' crotch aside and diving in mouth-first. "They are... very liberated," she observed, in a dry gasp.

"Well," Negi tried to be philosophical about it, "repeated near-death experiences tend to change people's attitudes towards life and social customs. Sometimes for the better, sometimes for the ... but it's useless to dwell on that. I'm really sorry you had to see this, if you want to sue, not to pressure you or anything, and normally I'd fully justify and even endorse you, but just please remember too many lives hinge on -"

_"Oh God,"_ Saki interrupted him, a hand on her mouth as she saw Konoka arch her back and scream a high note of pleasure.

"- and this is all my fault anyway, don't ask just trust me on this, so you can take it out on me with any amount of violence you'd -"

_"Shhhh!"_ Saki interrupted him again, now blocking his mouth with a hand. Blushing even more, she chewed on her lower lip. "T-T-T-Tenjouin S-S-S-Saki never backs away once she sets her mind to something! If, if this is the way to appeal to a man's sensibilities -" She dared to look down at Negi's crotch. "- and I'd say it is, then so, so, so be it!" She puffed her chest up in shaking self-reassurance. Then she began rubbing her own chin. "B-B-But it's not like, I, I had any girls willing to put on such a show with me ... a fake show in my-my-my case, that is, because I'm not -"

Negi yelped and covered his privates with a hand, reprimanding himself inwardly over his lack of control on that field of all things. Then he realized something, "What, what did you just say?"

Aya had gone pale, her blush leaving the path free for a cadaveric hue of washed down shock. "N-No one willing, you said?" And then, as if an afterthought, "Fake?"

"Tenjouin-san!" Negi gaped. "Think of what you're saying! Such a display before a man would only make him -"

"Jealous? Mad with desire?" Saki guessed - quite wrongly, by the by. "Yes, perhaps that's exactly what it's needed! We never know what we have until we have lost it, isn't that right? And desperate times call for desperate measures! Aya, take notes! This kind of obscene display might be what is needed to finally spurn Zastin-sama into action! Also, get me a really able and good looking actress who can feign this sort of ... stunt with me."

"Actress? Display?" Aya echoed faintly.

Sitting at the kitchenette, out of their sight, Rin shook her head to herself and quietly ate from the meal she had just finished.

"Nonsense!" Asuna grunted, sitting up between the panting, flushed Konoka's spread legs, and licking leftover juices from her fingers. "This kind of ... stunt, as you call it, can't be feigned. Now c'mere, Negi, let's show them the next step on this happy process."

"But Asuna," Negi observed, "that is completely irrational, you surely are joking, you can't expect -"

Asuna gave him The Look. "Now, Negi."

He gulped. "You and the Master were serious about that, after all?"

"Yes, we were," Asuna firmly said, stepping aside and patting Konoka's exposed crotch. "Now make sure of showing 'em a good rodeo, cowboy."

"I don't think you should compare Konoka to any sort of -"

"She said now, Negi-kun!" Konoka whined.

Negi sighed and began reaching for his belt.

* * *

Minutes later, he was thrusting into Konoka while a bewildered Saki and Aya watched on, and in the kitchen, Rin resorted to sticking her fingers into her ears and grinding her teeth until they screeched.

Saki rubbed her legs together, imagining that was her in Konoe's prone position as her valiant Zastin grabbed her legs and pushed over and over into her womanhood, eyes squeezed tightly, mighty jaw clenched. Without even realizing it, she had started touching herself again over her skirt as she thought of that, although occasionally, Zastin's image would briefly blink off in her mind's eye and instead she'd think of Negi-sensei copulating with her.

Gaaaahhhh.

"Gaaaahhhh!" a startled Saki cried, joined by Aya's shrill shriek half a second later. They had failed to realized a now naked Asuna had sneaked behind them and cupped their sexes in her hands, squeezing them fondly. "What, what in the, the world are you-!"

"Well, just look at it, someone's definitely wet now." Asuna ran her tongue down Saki's neck as she touched her, doing her best not to think of any other stuck up blond rich bitch as she did so. "You like what you see, huh? Even you," she purred huskily, playing with Aya's crotch area under her skirt and over her panties, making the smaller girl shiver. Such a wonderful mid-level boss she was turning out to be, Eva-chan would be proud. "No need to be shy now, after we've come so far, right? After all, we're all girls and a brat here, nothing less, nothing more."

The fingers went in under Aya's panties and into her core, and the bespectacled girl squirmed, but didn't fight it.

Then Saki blinked, looking at the way her face was cutely contorting into now, and she had an idea. Why to pay a professional actress? Economy always made good sense, after all, and Aya-chan would always follow her anywhere, all for free, and besides, at that moment, she looked so... so...

Saki licked her own dry lips, steeled herself as best as she could, and then, on a moment's whim, leaned aside and planted her lips on Aya's.

Aya's mind suddenly exploded into a multicolor paradise that turned into a raging fire in her nethers.

* * *

Still in the kitchen, Rin turned the radio on, turned the volume as high as it would go, and used mental discipline gained from years of sword practice since she could walk to further tune out the multiple moans of delight and even twisted pain. She wouldn't touch herself. She would be better than Sakurazaki-san. She would honor her post by not stooping low enough to -

Rin started touching herself, banging her head against a wall as she did so.

And then -

_"Ahhhhh,"_ Negi-sensei's hoarse sigh of discharge came to her ears, making everything worse.

And that awful Kagurazaka whore sing-sang _"Ohhh, so you're done there, Negi-kun! Now you'll teach a poor student in need how to better handle the man of her dreams, won't you?"_

**"WHAAAAAAAT!"** Saki-sama screamed.

Rin knew it was her duty to go out and protect her lady's honor by fighting those heels to the death. But then again, just this once, she did think it was something Saki-sama had brought on herself. Ryuuga-sama himself would even probably approve of his daughter being taught this lesson.

Probably.

Besides, Rin hadn't reached her own limit just yet.

* * *

"N-N-No, wait, Zastin-sama is the only man for m-me," Saki's voice quaked madly as Asuna and Konoka slooooowly pushed a stiff in more than one sense Negi towards her.

"Great, then we won't have to get jealous over you, isn't that right?" Asuna asked. "C'mon, girl, don't you know men like their women with experience? That they tend to get disappointed when they have to be with an inexperienced woman who doesn't know how to pleasure them?"

Saki blinked. "Do they?"

"Do we?" Negi asked, just as bewildered.

"Aye," Asuna nodded, letting a bit from that old Mundus Magicus self of hers filter in for just a moment. "Of course you do! Kono-chan, Setsuna-san and me are exceptions because we're just that awesome, but that's common knowledge."

Negi blinked. "Perhaps I should start reading more on the subject."

"Don't bother," Asuna said in a tone of breezy command.

Saki looked down at the long half-erect meat mast, with a just as frazzled Aya also peeking at it from behind Tenjouin's shoulder. Then the blonde sighed, lowered herself to her knees, and, with Asuna and Konoka's guidance, timidly began licking the unit's tip. Then she made a face. "I don't like the taste," she said, while Aya went to rest against a wall, hyperventilating.

"Th-Then you shouldn't -" Negi was starting to object, reaching for his pants, which currently were pooled around his ankles. But Asuna's hands on his stopped him from pulling them up.

"Geez, it's not about the taste, it's about -" Then she sniffed the penis and frowned. "No wonder. I told you to bathe before coming here, didn't I?"

"Sorry," he sheepishly said.

"Dammit, always embarrassing us before everyone," Asuna grumbled, pulling Saki's small hand on the cock. "It's okay, then, we aren't evil enough as to make you suck on a smelly cock. Jerk it, then."

"J-J-J-Jerk?" Saki almost trembled out of her skin.

"Like this," Konoka said while guiding Saki's hand up and down the hardening member. Negi groaned his shame. "Just imagine it's that boy's, and the rest will come naturally."

"I feel my individuality strangely threatened," Negi quietly shared.

"H-He's not a 'boy', he's all a man," Saki said uneasily, but nonetheless her hand began gaining more confidence and skill after several moments of coaching, until Asuna and Konoka felt like letting it go.

Meanwhile, Rin had pulled a tissue out of her pocket, and wiped herself clean, then tossed it into a nearby trash basket and sighed, pulling her pants back up. It was at that point when she clearly began hearing words again, after a long period marked only by Negi and Saki's gasps and gulps, and Aya's tumultuous breathing.

"I don't know, this is going too far," Saki was saying.

"Come on, from what you were babbling while refusing to continue yet keeping sucking, he's some sort of badass space army man, isn't he?" Kagurazaka was arguing. "Do you truly think he's been with nothing but innocent and virginal naive girls while on campaigns? He's gonna be so let down if he has to deal with pulling all the weight on your honeymoon."

"Th-That's such a crass way to put it!" Saki was yelling.

"I'm just shocked you decided to suck him off after all," Konoka was musing. "Because it really smells now. No offense, Negi-kun."

"This is all such a bad idea!" Negi was lamenting.

"Then why aren't you flying away faster than we could follow you, since you can clearly do that?" Asuna was challenging.

"Ububububububu," Aya was lamenting incoherently.

And then, a defeated, "Okay. Fine. I'll do it. B-But I'll ruin you all if this goes wrong!"

"It's your own choice, Sempai."

"Like everything else I do in my life! Ngh! Snrt! Ow! It's big! Aya, help me getting it in! RIN, WHERE ARE YOU!"

Rin sighed very deeply, stood up, and walked out to where a half naked Konoe and Kagurazaka were holding Saki-sama, naked except for the bra hanging around her midsection, above a pantless Negi-sensei, prone on his back on the floor. Aya, also bare from the waist down, was clumsily trying to help the member fit into Saki's passage, but her attempts at doing so while avoiding contact with the cock only made it all even worse.

Rin squeezed her fists tightly for a moment, considered giving the boy an extra dose of the usual Anti-Yuuki Rito Treatment, considered doing it for everyone present there instead, and then -

"RIIIIIN, DON'T JUST STAND THERE!" Saki whined.

Rin knelt down besides her, pushed Aya's hand aside, and said, in a remarkably calm and even tone, "Saki-sama, no wonder it won't go in. You are far too tense, so you are contracting excessively. You need to relax and accept him inside."

"H-H-How do I do thaAAAAAAA -!" Saki shouted when Rin began fondling and licking gently on her left breast, gesturing for Aya to do the same for the other one. At first, the bespectacled girl refused with vehement motions of her head, but Rin scowled and kept urging her with nearly threatening gestures. Meekly, Aya placed herself at Saki's other side and began tentatively playing with her right mammary. "Aaaaannnhhhhhh," Saki continued the sound she'd started making at the start of this experience.

A moment later, seeing the blonde relax at last, Negi exhaled, grabbed her hips, and pushed up and in, finally penetrating her.

* * *

A few minutes later, they seemed to have reached a more or less stable rhythm. It looked like Saki was really in pain at first, which along the drops of blood on the carpet really made Negi gasp and panic. (The fingers of Rin tightening around his neck had nothing to do with it.) But his initiative to pull out was aborted by Saki herself, who stubbornly refused to do what commoners would have called 'chickening out'. After all, if she couldn't take this one, how would she ever be able to handle Zastin-sama's no doubt much longer and thicker paragon of virility?

_Elsewhere, half a city away, in the baths of a certain manga studio, Yuuki Saibai blinked, seeing Zastin unzip his pants and start using the urinal right next to his._

_Wow, that was unexpectedly small. At least it made him feel better about his own._

Back in Negi's living quarters and palace of carnal pleasures, Negi had turned Saki around and now pumped into her from behind, carefully, as in the background, Asuna was grabbing Aya by the shoulders and whispering something to her. The short girl kept on refusing to go along with whatever Asuna was suggesting, shaking her head vehemently, until something Asuna said seemed to hit her particularly hard. After that, she allowed herself to be guided along towards Saki's upper section. After Asuna yanked Aya's top up, including her brassiere, she pushed the girl's lower quarters towards Saki's face.

"Now, it's time for what we call a combination chain," Asuna instructed, although she had only thought of the term herself. "Lower yourself slowly, yes, like that, don't tremble that much, Glasses-Sempai. Yesss, that's it," she said, grabbing one of Saki's hands when the heiress flinched at having her mouth filled with vulva. "Quiet, there. Don't freak out. Lick her there, and pay special attention to this," she said, caressing Aya's clitoris with a finger and making her groan. This groan became a shrill cry when Saki's tongue was put where the finger had been. "Yeah, yeah, you got it, see, it isn't that hard."

"Asuna, Saki-san, I'm going to, I'm going to -" Negi urged, puffing in near release.

Asuna reached over, grabbed his buttocks strongly, and rasped, _"Fill 'er up."_

"B-But!"

_"Fill 'er up, Negi,"_ Asuna repeated herself. Saki would have objected had her mouth not been busy. Rin would have objected had she not been in a heated sidelines sixty nine with Konoka, trying to show her she could outdo Setsuna in at least one thing. (She couldn't, really, but damn if she wasn't trying her best.) Aya would have protested if she hadn't been so busy throbbing in climax, in the dream of being pleasured by her beloved Saki-sama, small breasts bouncing up and down as best as they could. And Negi would have protested and even pulled out anyway had Aya not chosen that moment to vent her orgasming libido somehow by clumsily mashing her lips against his, pushing her tongue inside of his mouth.

The prince's hips jerked, and up his seed went into the Queen of Mahora.

After several moments marked by Negi's spasmic motions, which finally brought Saki to her own climax, he rolled off her, hiding his face between his hands in shame. He was gone, and he knew it. He kept falling lower and lower. And the worst thing was ...

"It's still hard," Saki absently babbled, looking at what still remained stiff and proud.

"Yeah, it takes a long to knock the wind out of him. So then, who's next?" Asuna looked around the others. Seeing Konoka and Rin still were giving no signs of finishing, she looked at the red-faced, panting Aya. "Wanna a ride, Sempai?"

"B-Buh, but, I don't, I'm not a -"

"You always follow Queen-Sempai wherever she goes, don't you?" Konoka asked between slurping licks. "Are you going fail her now?"

"Fai-ling-?" Aya gasped, going pale now. She looked at Saki, who seemed mostly out of it but blinked unfocusedly at her, and made her mind as best as she could. Swallowing hard, she crawled over the still prone Negi and lined herself up with his big thing. "Please be gentle, Sensei," she begged in a tiny voice. "It'll be my first time."

"Of, of course," he said, gently grabbing her slim bare, sweaty hips, and then slowly entering her. She clung to him and bit on his shoulder as her maidenhood was broken, with Asuna lightly caressing her slick back and cooing comfort into her ear from behind. Aya closed her eyes and thought of Saki-sama.

"I'm fine," she blurted out, curling her toes and steeling herself like she did whenever she was bullied or otherwise overcome by adversity. "P-Please keep going."

So that was what he did.

By the time Konoka and Rin were done, Negi had moved Aya onto the couch and was pounding her vigorously, yet striving to be as gentle as he could. Saki had moved to kneel on the couch behind Aya's head so she could return the favor the blonde had earlier paid upon her, to which Aya was more than happy to agree. With her hands cupping Saki's full buttocks, Aya kept tonguing and licking at her young mistress' core, all the while the blonde and Negi kissed and fondled each other's torsos.

Asuna seemed oddly satisfied while watching that, standing nearby with her arms folded. "Kagurazaka-san?" Rin walked closer to the most likely disturbed individual. "Aren't you bothered by... that?"

"Hmmmm... nah," Asuna shrugged, then added, with a sad half-smile. "I suppose I should be, shouldn't I? But... it isn't as easy as to think of him as mine. Negi has become, by this point, the world's. Both of them, actually. And if loving him improves everyone as much as it has improved us, then -"

"Very well ... I think I understand you," Rin said, with a small drop of sweat on her scalp and really wishing to prevent any further ruminations on the subject. Then she noticed the way Asuna was looking up and down at her. "Um..."

"Do you want to do it?" Asuna asked her.

"Doing it with you, or with him?" Rin cautiously asked.

"Either. Or better yet, both," Asuna said, trailing a finger down Rin's chin, then her throat, and finally between her breasts. She licked her own lips before placing a quick peck on Rin's lips. Since she wasn't slapped, she continued, "By now, I assume it's safe saying you're bi, right?"

"I'm still going through a trip of self-discovery," Rin calmly said, pushing Asuna's hand aside, "But that doesn't mean I have to make every stop all along the way."

"But you just did it with Kono-chan... didn't you like it?" Asuna dared to ask, her other hand sneaking down to rub Rin's toned ass.

"It's not a matter of liking it or not, it's a matter of -"

"Asuna, coming, coming again!" Negi rasped loudly. "Do I, do I fill her too?"

Asuna sighed. "What do you think, Negi?"

"Oh God!" Negi shuddered, pulling Aya's body closer to his as he climaxed within.

Rin gave Asuna a bland glare.

"What?" Asuna asked.

"See, that's why I wouldn't do it with you," Rin said.

"Oh, come on!" Asuna pouted. "Kono-chan is that way too, aren't you, Kono-chan?"

"Guilty as charged!" Konoka smiled goofily from where she was resting watching TV, naked and splayed.

"Be that as it may," Rin said, walking past Asuna and approaching her spent friends, who supported each other and shared occasional kisses. "Perhaps I just find some physical allure in her that I don't find in you. Now, if you excuse me, I'll follow Saki-sama even to the gates of Hell, so I have to go honor my family's heritage and vows."

"Wow, that stung," Asuna flinched. "Wait, what are you saying?"

Rin didn't look back as she pushed Negi onto his back and squatted down over his hips. "Over generations, the Kujous have served the Tenjouins no matter what, no matter where, even through their darkest days and deeds. This won't be any different. Even if Saki-sama is in the wrong -"

"- I am never in the wrong-" Saki moaned as Aya nibbled on her collarbone.

Rin continued smoothly. "- sorry, I meant, even if it looks, thanks to my limited understanding, like Saki-sama is in the wrong, I would never stop following her wherever she goes." She grabbed one of Negi's hands and made it squeeze her left breast. "Like this," she finished, impaling herself in a single mighty thrust.

Konoka sighed, wiping a tear off a corner of her eye. "Aren't devoted swordgirls just lovely? If only everyone followed that beautiful code of honor!"

"Screw that noise, I'm frustrated, no one has paid me any attention yet," Asuna mumbled, stomping a bare foot down. "Hello! Commanding and gorgeous Princess here! Why hasn't anyone ravished me tonight?"

Negi grunted some sort of apology, but Rin had placed herself on him while they fucked in such a way they kissed too deeply for either to please Asuna orally.

Aya and Saki were now mostly cuddling each other, too sleepy to help.

That forced Asuna to focus back on the sole other occupant of the room.

Konoka pouted. "Can't that wait? I'm watching _Tornado Wind of Love_!"

But Asuna had already grabbed her head and shoved it between her legs.

Konoka surrendered and began paying her respects to the hairless shrine of Asuna's womanhood. After all, soon she couldn't have it anymore, she remembered ... and the pain of that made her also remember why she tried her best to keep forgetting.

Saki and her friends left two hours later, probably not any wiser, but definitely more knowledgeable.

* * *

Hours later, Tokiha Mai sat in that very same room, at the very same table where it all had started, across from the very same people who had started it, trying her damn best not to think about what she was being told had happened there.

"- and that's why we decided it'd be best for you to know regardless, so that you were aware of the reasons behind their future visits," Konoka was explaining with a sincere smile. "Because we haven't finished with their education yet, and Asuna-chan now really wants to tap those, ahem, asses before she has to go, and -"

"It's a matter of principle!" Asuna defended herself. "How can I look at Eva in the eyes after I wake up and tell her they never gave me the time of the day? I'll never hear the end of her lame Mid-Level Boss jokes!"

Mai rubbed her aching head. "Okay. I don't know exactly when you became some sort of videogame evil boss, but I suppose I have a solid enough idea of what you're saying. And I guess I should appreciate how you trust me enough to make me your accomplice in every freaking crime against morals you pull off against everyone else who steps in here."

"You're welcome," Asuna nodded as Negi hid his face between his hands. "Sit up straight, Negi. Posture is very important in a teacher and public figure."

"Yes Ma'am."

"Mostly, however," Mai reassumed her thread of conversation, "I am infinitely grateful you, for some reason, see fitting to spare me from being entangled in this sordid web of vice."

"Oh, you have a boyfriend already!" Konoka stated the obvious with an air of being quite aware of that obviousness. She decided not to mention the fact that Mai also obviously had a girlfriend and was unaware of that fact, because, well, Mai was unaware of that fact.

Mai glared at her. "Yeah. But that didn't stop you from meddling in other peoples' relationships."

"Still sore about Kuga-sempai?" Konoka wondered. "Tokiha-sempai, that's different. With them, and with Saki-sempai, we could see the doubt in their eyes, the need to belong to something bigger. They needed the push, while you are, I can tell, confident in what you are and the path you've followed. So you don't need our guidance."

"Me... confident in myself... and Tate?" she blinked, genuinely surprised. "Um, okay, sure, if you say so."

"Unless you want to join anyway," Asuna proposed, one of her feet tickling Mai's leg under the table.

Mai kicked said foot aside and firmly said "No."

Konoka nodded. "See, Asuna-chan, Negi-kun? That's the tone where No Means No. It's not the typical Tsundere denial where they say no but they mean yes. That's the simple and honest way of someone who is really doing her best not to shatter her cup and slash our throats because she genuinely considers us disgusting."

"Nonsense, Konoe-san, I'd never drink with someone if I thought so lowly of them." Mai uneasily put her cup aside and tried to shoo those treacherous disgusted thoughts aside. Was she really that easy to read, or was Konoe so scarily good? Or both? "Anyway, you really need to stop it already, or -"

The phone rang. "I'll get it!" Negi bolted up and away, all too happy to distance himself from that conversation.

Asuna snorted. "I'll bet it's Fate again, that little stalking bastard."

When Negi walked back, putting on a jacket, however, he said, "It's Rakan-san. I'll go pay his and Paio-san's fine ..."

"Who?" Mai blinked.

Asuna groaned. "People who make us look like puritans."

Mai blinked again and stood up. "Okay, um, I think I should be going now."

* * *

Rakan walked back into his containment cell of the Mahora Fifth Police District Station, escorted by two armed guards. "He's going to pull through!" he told the smaller figure sitting on a bunk, waiting for him in a thick jacket that hid her gender well and a baseball cap that barely managed concealing her horns. "I told you, I can count on my pal Negi for anything!"

"Dat's ghud tho knoth," the Chichigami said, reaching into a pocket for a tissue. The badly broken nose that woman had given her earlier that evening was acting up again. "I'll gunna shue dis shity, 'cuz I'm ath innushent ath a bhabe. Whereth dat disshue, I'm gunna ghet bluhd all ovah mah-"

She realized she had just pulled out a black brassiere instead.

The cops stared sternly at her.

"Whut? Ith mine!" she very seriously said.

* * *

**To be Continued.**


	5. Twilight Sparkle, Yue, Nodoka

You know the drill; Akamatsu and others created and own these characters and franchises. I make no money at all out of this, and I sleep in a cardboard box.

Don't read this if you're a minor, a soccer mom (unless you used to be a real wild child), or a relative of mine.

This time around, Darkenning gets extra credits for coming up with the second epilogue.

* * *

**Chapter Five**.

* * *

The room was fittingly dark and sinister, and they all had been told to come in wearing also dark robes with hoods to protect their identities, as part of the protocol. Which was stupid, to the mind of the 3-A student, but what the heck, everyone in Mahora had their weird quirks after all. Except that Hitou girl from Despair-sensei's class. She was so depressingly normal and average, she made Madoka (who at least had that thing for a boy who had turned out to be half wolf or something) outright extravagant.

"State your names," commanded the short hooded female standing at the head of the huge meeting table.

A boy pulled his hood down. Paru's big brother. "Saotome Ranma."

Another, taller boy pulled his hood down. "Harima Kenji."

A girl pulled her hood down, smirking widely, with a glint in her eyes. "Suzumiya Haruhi."

Another girl also pulled her hood down. "Yuuki Nao." And then, "Man, but this is stupid! Why do we have to put up with this idiotic secrecy crap? We all know who we are! What's the fucking point?"

The Suzumiya weirdo waved a finger at her. "Quiet, philistine, you're missing the whole purpose of having a secret society." Oh, this was so exciting! Sure, she had to put up with being a second-at-command here, but part and parcel of the fun would be eventually overthrowing the leader of the Society and annexing it to the SOS Brigade.

As Nao mumbled something quite bitter and rude under her breath, the leader pulled her own hood down. "And I," she said, "Takino Tomo. Together, standing defiant and proud, the Fight Fate Force welcomes its newest member tonight!"

There had been some votes for calling it the Fuck Fate Force, but eventually everyone agreed it'd send the wrong message.

Harima blinked, reached for the drapes of the nearest window and peeked out. "Tonight? But it's only -"

"Keep the lights out, you fool!" Tomo tossed a piece of chalk on his head, making him groan. "Tonight, we are joined by someone who stands at the middle of the disaster, right before the Great Beast himself! Someone who valiantly stands before him, in his home classroom, day after day! Her courage is second only to mine!"

"Hey!" Haruhi and Ranma growled fiercely.

"State your name, O New Ace Up the Sleeve and Spy for the Three Eef!" Tomo urged the girl next to her.

Said girl sighed and pulled her hood down, playing along. "Kakizaki Misa."

Man, she really had to be desperate about the little troll, didn't she? She felt so stupid. Maybe they were blowing it out of proportion after all? Asshole or not, the little pretty snot surely couldn't be worth the hassle...

Nahhhh, of course he was.

* * *

_Elsewhere, at the same time..._

"You've had a lot of fun at our expense, these past few weeks," Nodoka continued, as Fate stared up at her. "Welcome to the start of 3-A's counterattack." She smiled then, and went on her way.

His coffee was cold when he began drinking again.

* * *

_The Resort:_

Twilight Sparkle secured the medallion around her neck. It had been a parting gift from Princess Celestia. (Not to be mistaken for the very much human Celestia, Queen of Gamblers). This medallion had been forged from the very same crystal that had been used for the magic mirror that once sent her to another world and gave her a humanoid form. She closed her eyes, triggered her magic, and the medallion glowed, quickly changing her into a human ... although one with odd, vaguely purplish skin, and dark purple hair. The later was no problem, since it seemed almost everypony in modern Japan had hair colors that shouldn't be possible in Japan. As for the former, the weirdness censor still active over Mahora should take care of that. In the event anypony asked, she'd just say what the Princess had advised her to say.

"It's a skin condition," she repeated for the benefit of her image in her bedroom's mirror, quite proud of herself, before turning around and leaving the room on somewhat clumsy legs. Darn it, she had mostly lost the gist of how to walk on two legs since last time.

While she was getting used again to walk like a human being, she found herself face to face with Eishun-sama, who was coming back from taking his morning bath.

The courageous swordsman in a white bathrobe and sandals took a good look at the young woman who had suddenly appeared before him, and then yelled, startled and leaping back like an embarrassed damsel.

_Oh, that's right. Clothes!_ Twilight Sparkle thought_. I keep forgetting humans are so dependent on those!_

* * *

"Well," said Kotaro, a few minutes later, as Negi was being pummeled by a large number of girls for making Yue cry. (To her credit, Nodoka was comforting her friend, and all that Konoka did was lecture Negi while he was being pummeled.) "That degenerated pretty quickly." He supposed that he should be concerned for Negi's welfare, but somehow, he just didn't feel up to it.

"True," agreed Kaede, also standing back and watching with interest. (Who knew that Madoka possessed such a talent for grappling as she was presently employing to hold Negi in place?) "And yet, one cannot truly claim to be surprised at how it did so."

"Huh?" Kotaro blinked as he turned from what could possibly be considered a riot to look at her. "I didn't have a clue that Chibsuke felt like that. You saying you did?"

"Only that it is not a surprise. One rather suspects that the majority of Negi-bouzu's ministra have some level of affection for him, so such developments as this, in truth, should occur more frequently than they do."

"Well, I guess that does make wait wait wait wait, doesn't that include you?" Kotaro asked abruptly, gazing up at her with mild confusion.

Kaede coughed politely, covering her mouth with her hand, because she was polite, of course, and certainly not to cover any blush that spread across her cheeks. "My, such a direct question, Kotaro-kun. Whence comes such curiousity, all of a sudden?" Turning an inconvenient question back on the one who'd asked it was an old ninja trick.

Ironically, it was a completely unnecessary ninja trick, in this particular instance. Kaede's brief delay in answering had given Kotaro time to think about who else might have 'some level of affection for him' ... and the thought didn't make him particularly happy. "Kaede-ne," he began to say, in a serious tone.

"It is merely a certain pleasure that I feel in seeing a young man growing into strength and wisdom, not anything -" she began to respond.

"What?" Kotaro asked, blankly.

"What?" Kaede asked, just as blankly.

"... I asked you first," he pointed out ... then groaned a bit. "What am I, eight?" he asked quietly. With a shake of his head, he continued. "Look, never mind that now. Kaede-ne, I think I need some advice."

Kaede actually blinked. She had volunteered to become Kotaro's mentor, and taught him quite a few things in the brief interim between the school festival and the start of their adventure in the Magical World. But in all that time, he'd never asked her for advice.

_SQUEEE!_ went the part of her mind that cherished the sight of a young man growing into strength and wisdom. Fortunately, it was outnumbered by the rest of it, which recognized the seriousness of the situation. "I see," she said, in a somber tone which suggested she had never even heard the noise 'squee'. "Let us then withdraw to a place where we might enjoy some privacy ere we speak on such matters."

Kotaro nodded. "Yeah. Good practice for the free-running event I'm in - that tower, over there?"

"Let us be off."

As soon as they were gone, Twilight Sparkle arrived, still walking somewhat stiff and slowly, and wearing a shirt, boots and a pair of pants Lina Inverse had rented her. What kind of people rented clothes for the hour to somepony in need? Also, while Twilight was hardly big breasted, that shirt was sure tight in the chest area. She could barely breathe in this thing, and Inverse had actually increased the rates when she'd complained, but even that concern was pushed back when she found exactly the person she had been looking for.

"Oh, Sensei, there you are!" she said. "I had been looking for you all over -"

The girls beating Negi up paused for a moment to direct several looks ranging from puzzled suspicion to outright hostility towards the strange newcomer.

Twilight blinked. "Ah, I'm sorry. Have I interrupted some sort of courtship ritual?"

"In a way, I guess," Negi's voice weakly croaked. Yuna silenced him with a foot to his mouth.

* * *

_Soon after:_

Negi gazed in mild bemusement at Nodoka and Yue, while Twilight stayed standing at a respectful distance behind him and listening. Eventually, he nodded. "All right, that sounds like a good idea. Um, whereabouts in the building are we going to meet?"

"I'll let you know as soon as I pick it out," Nodoka assured him.

"Well, I'm sure that you know the library much better than I do, so I'll leave that to you. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go find a washroom." He visibly steeled himself - not an easy thing to do when one has the words 'horndog extraordinaire' emblazoned on one's forehead.

"See you this evening," Nodoka said as he strolled off, waving politely. Twilight also waved before following him down the path, but by this point the two girls weren't paying her any attention whatsoever, and she realized that. With a sigh, she kept on marching behind Negi.

"I have decided I never want to become a teacher," she said, letting her head droop a bit.

"Oh, they're good girls, they only tend to overreact at times, and it's understandable now, with all they have just gone through," he replied, already starting to wipe his face off. Much to his annoyance, nothing was coming off yet. Water, he needed water. Wasn't there a fountain right over - oh, right, it had been destroyed during the demon attack ...

"If you say so." Twilight chose to leave the topic behind, pulling out a few scrolls from her handbag. "Um, last night, to distract myself, I had the idea of going over a few things in your proposed plans of mana stabilization for the surface, and I think I might have a way to optimize -"

Politely, he looked back with a smile and a finger on his lips. "That sounds really interesting, but maybe we should discuss it in my office?"

"Oh ... right," she said, once again reminded of how much of a secret magic was in that world. It was difficult adapting to that, for somepony who had been raised in an environment where no one ever denied the gifts in and around them. "Are you sure you can -"

"Quite sure!" he nodded, heading towards the main building. "Hey, even if we run out of time, we can continue the discussion in the library, can't we?"

"The ... Library of Library Island, you mean...?" Twilight's eyes grew a few sizes, and they weren't exactly small to begin with. Slowly, her head tilted towards the large island in the distance, full of ancient and modern volumes alike, whose fame and legend spread all the way to Mundus Magicus, and she felt a little bit of drool escaping from a corner of her mouth. Then: "Oh, wait. They invited you there, not me!"

He scratched the back of his neck. "I'd feel far safer if I had someone there to keep me company, actually."

She stared, shocked, at that savior of a whole world. "You'd feel safer if I was between you and your trusted comrades," she said.

"It sounds so bad when you put it like that, doesn't it?" He sighed.

"Well, actually, given what happened back there, I can understand it, but -"

"It's not like that!" he said. "And I know it's incredibly rude to them for me to invite someone they barely know to join us in what was supposed to be a private rendezvous, but -!"

"If you realize that it's so rude, why are you asking for it, then?"

His shoulders dropped even further. "Mostly so you make sure I actually go there."

"Eh?"

"Sorry. I realize I shouldn't be asking for this, but ... lately, I've come to be sort of afraid to be alone with my students."

"Ah? Oh, I know." She lowered her voice. "You're worried about losing control over your Magia Erebea?"

"I'm worried about losing control, indeed," he compromised with what basically still was a sincere answer. He felt bad about even doubting Nodoka and Yue, but just in case, he'd prefer taking someone who wasn't Ala Alba and yet trustworthy with him. They weren't Asuna; he knew none of them would be bold enough to bring in an outsider, for a lack of a better term, as the more daring Asuna and Konoka did.

She smiled and placed a small hand on his shoulder. "Of course I'll do it, then."

Negi smiled and placed a hand on hers. "Thank you, Twilight-san."

* * *

Across the park, hiding between some bushes with the stealth only someone who had stalked a campus as a killer could possess, a slim and petite figure behind huge round glasses watched them through state of the art binoculars, the best the Togami Empire could supply.

"I have found him, Byakuya-sama," a voice whispered through an untraceable new model of cellphone, in an unsteady, unbalanced-sounding tone. "And he's with a woman. And the way they're acting towards each other, I'm already doubting those rumors about his homosexuality even more. I can recognize a homosexual when I see him. This is nothing but a dirty perverted beast, an enemy to all women, a -"

_"Keep following him, and keep me informed. That's all,"_ the voice that sounded like Fate's at the other end of the line told her with no patience or warmth before cutting the call short. Elsewhere, Togami Byakuya sneered as he put his cellphone down. Recently, some 'Nagi Springfield' nobody had approached him with vague requests to discuss important matters with him. Byakuya had quickly turned him down, as he did with any and all charlatans who looked for to persuade him or his family to make investments with no guarantees of a proper return, but that man had been stubborn, and promised he'd stay in contact, as if his own life depended on it. So Byakuya ran a background on him, and found ... pretty much nothing, except a few official mentions of him joining the Mahora staff a few days ago. After that, everything was one dead end after another. Judging from his appearance and name, he had to be related to the recently dismissed Negi Springfield, but what little could be traced of the boy's family back to the backwater Welsh hills showed nothing about any wealth, or anything else that could give footing to pretensions of dealing with the Togamis.

So that was why he was using that annoying woman this time. At least, now she could be useful for something. Perhaps.

Fukawa Touko kept stalking her unsuspecting prey from a distance.

* * *

"That actually makes a lot of sense," Negi was saying now, more than five hours later, alone in his office with Twilight-san. He rolled the scrolls back up again and smiled. "I'm sure this can increase our efficiency in the distribution of mana across the whole surface in at least a 10%!"

"So will you bring it up at the next meeting of the Technical Council?" Twilight asked excitedly.

"I'm actually more minded to invite you to that meeting, so that you can tell them yourself," Negi replied. "I'm sure you'll do it much better than me, since these are your ideas to begin with. And I want you to get all the credit you deserve."

"I don't do it for the public credit," she said, lowering her face a bit. She pretty much preferred the quietness of Ponyville to the glory and majesty of the Canterlot court, after all. "But, if it makes you feel better about ... okay, sure thing."

"It will. Thank you, Twilight-san," he nodded.

She looked at his face and smiled. For a human, he sure was cute. Almost as much as Flash Sentry, back in ... but no, that couldn't be, she chided herself, blinking a few times. While those girls' attraction towards him was understandable, it also was a very dangerous thing, and the last thing she needed was a distraction from her duties that couldn't ever go anywhere, anyway.

She looked at the clock in the wall. "It's getting late," she observed.

"We still have a couple hours until the meeting," Negi half-shrugged. "Oh, sorry, I forgot, you must be hungry. We skipped over lunch, didn't we? I hadn't even noticed!"

"It's okay, I got carried away too!" she tried laughing it off. "It happens to me all of the time. But, um, weren't you hungry as well?"

"I don't feel as hungry as often as before," he confided her. "I normally have enough with one meal a day now, but please don't tell the girls. Whenever I'm at home, I like eating with Asuna and Konoka, even if I already ate."

She nodded, and then, after a pause, she quietly asked, "Why do you do it?"

"Well, other than Konoka's meals being delicious, we barely get to spend much time together anymore -"

"No, no!" she said. "I mean, why have you gone this far for us? For the Magical World? You were raised in Mundus Vetus. The first thing anyone on our side ever did to you was to place a bounty on your head and those of your friends. Our authorities wrongly accused your mother and made her a pariah for the rest of her life. We ... Professor, we haven't ever done anything good for you or yours. So, why have you devoted your whole life to us and our safety, even when it wouldn't have cost you anything to leave us alone and just come back to this world?"

"Oh, that," he simply said, because it wasn't the first time he had been asked about the subject, from people on both sides alike. "There are millions of reasons. One of them is, it's what my father would have done, naturally. Another one is, it's my mother's homeworld after all. And the third one is, I never could look at my friends and family's faces in Mundus Vetus again, knowing I could have helped you and I didn't. As for the rest ... every living being in Mundus Magicus is one of them. Princess Theodora is one reason. Rakan-san is another. And Tosaka-san, and Emily-san and her friends, and Headmistress Seras. And you, and Princess Celestia, and Lina-san, and Queen Daenerys, and -"

"Even Miss Paio?"

"Why not? Even Miss Paio!"

"Just asking."

There was another long, poignant pause.

"Is that the answer you were hoping for? I realize how cliché it must sound, but -" Negi trailed off.

"It's the answer I hoped for," Twilight said quietly. "Thank you, Professor. However, I must say, I have another question for you, but this one is of a much more private nature, and I don't think I should -"

"I'll be glad to answer anything that doesn't involve breaking a secret of my own comrades," he told her.

"Naturally," she said, remembering Pinkie's Laws all too well, "But ... that wouldn't be necessary, since I've already been told of your companions' role in what I'm about to ask about." At that, Negi looked slightly troubled and suspicious, "Sorry, it's just ... is this office soundproof?"

"It has to be. We have several mundane professors, so if it wasn't, any of them might have overheard us in passing."

"Hmmm," she said, once again cringing at how this society was so ignorant about the wonders of magic. How could humans from the Old World keep their social system working at all that way? "Okay. I'll be honest, Professor. I had to ask about your motivations, because ... sorry to say it, but I was having doubts about your morality after ... a few things Lady Evangeline saw fit to share with me."

Negi paled. "Oh. Is this about -"

She nodded. "She told me about you and the ... your partners. Is that, is that why the others were attacking you?"

"Goodness, no!" he couldn't help gasping. "They don't know anything, well, none of them other than those ... already involved." He dragged a foot around in shame. "The situation is already complicated enough without them knowing that, as you could see today."

Twilight took a deep breath, and then stood up from her chair. "I'm still hungry. Let's go somewhere else to have dinner, okay?"

He was relieved. Not only she had stopped that awful conversation, but apparently she didn't hate him even after that hideous revelation, at least not enough to scorn his continued company.

He followed her out of the office.

* * *

_The name they gave me when they vomited me upon this harsh, uncaring world was Jonathan Crane. However, I made a greater name for myself in the urban jungle of Gotham as the Scarecrow, Master of Fear, a symbol of poverty and terror._

_But even a criminal genius such as myself is not immune to the ravages of time. And, after my last sojourn into larceny, I asked myself 'When I am too old or infirm to engage the accursed Batman in our periodic test of wills, what then?' I had been a teacher once, and often toyed with the idea of returning to the peaceful life of a quiet academician._

_So, after writing a new set of release papers (and forcing an escape with that Joker fool after that failed), I set out to make that dream happen._

_Naturally, it was child's play for one of my intellect to escape overseas, as far away from Gotham as possible, and just as simple to forge the documents necessary to secure a position as an English teacher and assistant librarian at Mahora Academy. And thus I began a new life as Irving Diedrich, foreign scholar. On the whole, my pupils and those under them were a dreary lot, just like those in America so long ago. A depressingly typical assortment of underachievers and unremarkable wastes of space. However, there always have been some ... special interesting cases._

It has been said it takes a more experienced psycho stalker to outdo a psycho stalker at, well... psycho stalking? Of course, no one would have dared calling either the shy and harmless (only weird as fuck) Fukawa Touko or the dry and spiteful but composed and elegant Diedrich-sensei psychopathic, but... we are digressing, anyway. Whatever the case was, somehow, as Touko-chan kept on watching Nagi-sensei and his odd looking date from afar (what had they been doing, spending so long in the office that used to belong to Negi-sensei?), she was surprised by a tall, lanky shadow looming over her.

Shrieking and spinning around, Touko-chan stumbled back and fell on her butt, her fall cushioned in time by the bushes concealing her before she could hit her head and make everything end in tears. Her eyes bugged out as she fixed them on the well dressed bony man in black who had just appeared, with a sinister old crow perched on a shoulder.

"Miss Fukawa," the gaijin teacher spoke in a low, disapproving tone, looking up and down at her and her clothes covered by leaves in a critical fashion. They often crossed paths in the Library, and he was aware of her writing, so they knew each other well enough, much to their mutual regret. "What, may I ask, are you doing here?"

"Ahhhhhh!" she babbled, blushing in the shame of being caught in the act, by an authority figure no less. That was bad. That was very, very, very bad. Not bad enough to wake Syo up yet (she doubted anything could ever be reasonable grounds for that), but if she was found out by that man, Byakuya-sama's name might be stained, and all because of her, and he'd never forgive her, and he'd stop worrying so honestly about her, and -

Diedrich-sensei frowned, snatched the binoculars from the paralyzed girl's sweaty hands, and used them to look in the same direction she had been spying towards. He saw two young people having dinner at the Chao Bao Zi, in silence and noticeably apart from the others, and he huffed. "That's the new teacher, the one who never teaches, isn't he? The older Springfield boy."

"Ahhhhhh!" Touko said again, her hands contracting powerlessly.

He looked down at her once more. "I must say I expected better of you, Miss Fukawa," he told her, with his strong cultured accent. "True, your novels often delve gratuitously into the baser passions of youth, but everything about you always gave me the impression you were above such nonsense yourself."

"I, I am!" she protested, red-faced, bolting up to her feet and daring to yank the binoculars back. "It's just, it's just ... I'm doing research for my next book!"

"Oh, you don't say," he incredulously said.

"I, I do!" she claimed. "Um, I've been, ah, noticing a few suspicious elements about that man, so -"

"Such as?" the teacher wondered aloud, interested.

_Nothing that concerns you, fucking gaijin creep! Let me work alone in peace!_

Still, some manners had to be kept even if they were annoying, so she asked back, hoping for some information, "Had you ever seen that girl before?"

"Never, but I hardly can be expected to remember every student on the junior campus."

"W-Well, I, I never had seen her either, and don't you think she's strange?"

Diedrich, who wasn't too normal looking either, gave the girl covered in leaves at the side of the road another blunt look.

"Just look at her hair!" Touko whined. "And her skin! It looks so sickeningly ... purple!"

"It is, isn't it? However, that's hardly the strangest thing I have ever seen in Mahora ... or even in my hometown, to be honest." Which he rarely was, but that was besides the matter.

"And why are they eating together? That guy, that guy is supposed to be gay, isn't he?"

"Miss Fukawa, for your own future wellbeing, I do hope you are familiar with the notion of a man and a woman dinning together without the need for a romantic or passionate liaison," he dryly replied. "Even so, if you are so positive that is an affair that concerns the integrity of the Academy, you should denounce it before the competent authorities."

_Or what passes for those here, anyway! _they both thought at the same time, with matching inner sarcasm.

However, Fukawa only blurted out a weak and lame, "... I need to gather more evidence first ..."

Byakuya-sama would be terribly angry over this, she knew it. There was no way that this stern, humorless teacher would let that -

A moment of grim contemplation later, he interrupted her thoughts of doom with a brief nod. "Very well. If such is your actual purpose, I see no reason to prevent it, but neither will I allow you to do it on your own." He crouched down next to her, taking the binoculars back and looking away. "They are leaving now. Let us follow them, then. On the double, but with caution and stealth."

- on second thought, that was even worse. She was failing Byakuya-sama soooooo badly!

Maybe, maybe, maybe a case could be made for letting Syo out, just this once, later on, if this kept up?

* * *

Fate Averruncus was sitting at his office, leaning over his desk in a sinister fashion. Had his students seen him thus, they would surely have concluded that he was plotting and scheming new ways to make their lives miserable. Actually, he was writing separate letters of support and comfort to each one of his Mundus Magicus orphans, including those who had chosen not to follow him into the battlefields.

Before that, however, he had been busy on the much more grim, and much more related to the Mahora students, task of ... helping to estimate the budget for the Sports Festival.

However! That had been only after going, at length, over the even darker, far more important subject of ... the next steps of the Blue Mars Project to take place over the following weeks.

Only after he'd taken care of all of that, ONLY THEN would he contemplate the countless little, subtle ways to make the students' lives miserable. And even then only those of 3-A. No matter what the campus at large thought, he'd never act against a student who wasn't part of 3-A, and thus weren't competition, unless they were caught having public fights with Kuno Tatewaki, or beating up salarymen during illegal dates, or placing live pigs in the boys' bathroom.

It was yet another jam packed afternoon for Fate-sensei. But he was a fast worker. He didn't have problems handling that schedule. The fact he didn't have sex with his students on the side probably helped, too.

His cellphone beeped.

"Good afternoon. Oh, it's my pleasure." That was a courtesy to an uneasy required ally. "And a welcome surprise, as well," he admitted. That was fully sincere, since he never expected for that person to call him personally. At best, he had expected calls from her subordinates, or her daughter at most. And yet, now she was talking to him, and there was no mistaking her voice. That she showed this much interest on the project might be a good sign. "To what do I owe this honor?"

"I have talked to Luthor," Kiryuin Ragyo told him. "He's highly interested. He would like to have a meeting with you and your associates as soon as possible, Fate-sama."

Despite himself, the pen he had been using escaped from Fate's fingers, rolling across his desk until a stack of graded papers stopped it.

* * *

Negi and Twilight marched in silence down the long narrow path leading to Library Island. By now, he was feeling very uncomfortable with the way she, who had been so talkative and open when they first met, had fallen into such an awkward silence after the confirmation of his illicit activities. She kept her gaze low and elusive, not that Negi could fault her. There she was, a lone girl in a world that was fully alien to her, left with a man who probably qualified as a sexual predator.

(Or victim of sexual predation, not that such a possibility ever crossed Negi's mind).

He stopped. "Would you feel, ah, better if I called Haruna-san and Konoka-san in?"

"Eh? Why?" Twilight Sparkle stopped as well.

"Well ..." Since telling her 'it's just so you aren't worried I'll molest you while we are alone there along our way into the depths' was most likely a bad idea, and even he knew that, he settled for, "You know, Library Island is full of traps - at least the sections beyond public access are - and while you have, um, admirable skills of your own, you aren't invulnerable, so I'd feel far better taking experienced library explorers along with us."

She blinked twice, and then nodded slowly. "Okay... that makes sense. And if it makes you feel better -"

"It, it does!" he said, quickly whipping his cellphone out. He tried to use the almost mint-condition phone, his fingers nervously tapping on the keys. "Um, sorry, I don't use this that much, I normally use the cards, but since we're in the open, it's not like I can -"

Calmly, Twilight took the phone from him, checked on it, and after a couple tries, easily accessed Negi's list of contacts. "Saotome-san and Konoe-san, right?"

Negi blinked. "How, how did you -"

"Chachamaru-san taught me after showing me my room. She said I should get one for myself as long as I'm here," she said, handing Negi the cellphone back. And then, a pause. "By the way, why do you have a massage service in your list?"

"I do?" he asked, perplexed, looking at the list. And sure enough, there it was, along what seemed to be a dozen of hotlines marked with Triple Xs. He swallowed. "Ah, this. Truth be told, Chamo normally used this more than I did -"

"Mmm-hmmmm," Twilight said, scowling as she turned back around and started walking again.

"No, seriously!" he said, rushing after her. "I, I'd never -! Oh, hello, Haruna-san? It's me, Negi. I hate bothering you like this, but would you happen to have a couple hours to spare?"

* * *

Shiomiya Shiori, seventeen, had never been an official part of the Library Exploration Club, but she worked regularly as an assistant librarian in the upper levels of Library Island. Her nearly compulsive love for books, often bordering on obsession, meant that she sometimes followed the explorers into the forbidden areas, although more often than not she only waited for their return with the haul obtained from the depths of the island.

Much like Nodoka, Shiori had been crippled by serious problems of low self-esteem and insecurities until a few months ago, and much like Nodoka, she had gained ground on them through a relationship with a boy. In Shiori's case, however, that boy had been one Katsuragi Keima, also known as 'the God of Conquests' ... in the videogaming and magical circuits, at least.

Plagued by a Runaway Sprit who took residence in the hollow space caused by depression in her heart, Shiori was seduced by Katsuragi's awkward but well-meaning charm, so Keima and his partner Elsie could drive the Spirit out of her. A couple of months later, a complicated string of related events led Keima and Elsie to discover Shiori's body also hosted the spirit of Minerva, one of the six 'Jupiter Sisters', priestesses from the Old Ages chosen to become divine beings. With Keima's help, Shiori connected with the just as shy Minerva and reached a degree of amiable coexistence, although the reserved Minerva preferred remaining dormant inside of her unless her presence became absolutely necessary.

You still following this, right?

Recently, however, Shiori's growing strength of character took a mild blow when Keima started making an apparent romantic choice for his classmate Kosaka Chihiro. Ever since, Shiori had withdrawn into the library as long as she could, something that hadn't escaped the notice of the Library Exploration Club. Of course, it wasn't the kind of thing Nodoka and Yue felt comfortable asking her, so that early evening, while passing before her desk, they only exchanged a few polite greetings before the two 3-A students wandered down towards their destination.

"M-Maybe we should have invited her?" Yue gulped once they were out of Shiori's hearing range. "I mean ... lately, she's been so depressed ... as her colleagues, we should strive to help her with whatever is -"

"Later, Yue," Nodoka promised, leading the march carefully, even though they hadn't entered the true danger area yet. "We... we can hardly help anyone while we are still sorting our own problems out, don't you agree?"

"Of course, but even so -" Yue gestured with both hands in mild exasperation for a moment, words failing her for once.

It was a wasted effort, since Nodoka's back was turned to her and she wasn't looking back. "I believe she's been let down by a boy... the one who visited her a few times around the Mahorafest, if I'm not mistaken."

"Talk about ill omens for what we're about to do," Yue muttered under her breath.

"But it's all okay!" Even from there, Yue could feel Nodoka's bright smile turning itself on. "Once we have arranged our own situation with Negi-sen - with Negi, we'll be able to give her all the advice on men she could want!"

"If you say so," Yue allowed, unwilling to engage in that kind of discussion again, just yet. "I still feel bad about leaving her there, all alone, however."

"Oh, as long as she's with some books, she'll never be truly alone..."

* * *

"Ah? A-A-Ayase-san and Miyazaki-san? Yes, they were here not too long ago, and, and they went that way," Shiori pointed down one of the many side halls of the library. She looked warily at the handsome young man and the somewhat strange dark purple-haired girl with Konoe-san and Saotome-san, and said, "If, if you want me to show you the way-"

"Come on, Sempai, remember who you're talking to," Haruna smirked. "When have I ever been unable to track those two down? But even so, if you really want to come, you just need to ask."

"N-No! I mean, I'm okay here! Someone has to keep watch until the shift change, after all," the older, but shorter, girl denied vehemently, unconsciously setting a thick book between herself and the others.

"Okay, as you wish," Haruna shrugged. "But you know, you really should let your hair loose and forget about that geek already."

"I, I, I have no idea what are you talking about!" she rapidly stuttered.

Nagi-sensei groaned. "Haruna-san, please, don't disturb Shiomiya-san like that. And don't call Katsuragi-san a geek, either. He's still your sempai, and as such deserves -"

Shiori blinked. "H-How do you know he is- I, I mean, how do you know Katsuragi-san's...!"

Negi squeezed his eyes tightly close and silently prayed for a miracle, like the ground cracking open to swallow him.

It didn't come.

* * *

So, jumping over some stuff you already should know, and if you don't, go read our parent fanfic, we'll wait...

At last, they reached the door marked "Vault XJ-62", and, being veterans of the Library Exploration Club, ignored the obvious trap to open the actual ingress, which was a concealed trap door on the floor in front of it. It was dark inside, of course, since it contained photo-sensitive documents, so they were very careful as they descended the rungs of the ladder.

"All right," said the glowing eyes which were Nodoka to the glowing eyes which were Yue. "We made it, now we just have to wait for Negi-sensei to get here and hope that he doesn't get caught in too many of the traps."

"I'm sure that he'll be just fine," said the glowing eyes which were Yue.

"But wouldn't it have been a good idea to make sure he went in the company of an expert explorer all the same?" asked the third set of glowing eyes which had just opened, floating over the other two sets of eyes.

Silence momentarily reigned in the vault, broken by the cracking sound of a glowstick being snapped, to dimly illuminate a huge grin beneath shiny glasses.

"Haruna, how?" Yue asked, voice thick with frustration and disbelief.

"Oh, Yue. Yue, Yue, Yue. It was **obvious.**"

Yue was about to lash out at Haruna, hands already all but turned into claws, when she noticed a second light approaching them, and stopping right behind Haruna, with a strong purple hue showcasing a petrified, save for occasional twitches, but admittedly cute face neither Yue nor Nodoka recognized.

Even more puzzling, on a second look, was the fact this new glow spotlighting this enigmatic newcomer was not coming from a glowstick, but from a long, pointy horn that sprouted from the middle of the newcomer's forehead.

Nodoka and Yue stared at the unresponding girl for a few moments, and then at Haruna. "Who is she?" asked Yue, bluntly.

Haruna blinked exaggeratedly. "Don't tell me you don't recognize her! Even in the darkness, it should be obvious!"

"No, it isn't!" Yue disagreed.

Haruna sighed. "What a disconcerting lapse from the most observant girls I know! It's Princess Twilight! Don't you feel like kicking yourselves now?"

Twilight spasmed with a short chortle.

A beat.

"Oh, c'mon, we already know a boy who can turn into a dog and back," Haruna groaned. "Is a magical winged unicorn who can turn into a pretty girl that much of a stretch after that?"

Twilight spasmed with a short sob.

Yue and Nodoka looked again at the girl with the horn, who, on a closer inspection, had a few bruises and obvious close shaves all over her; her sleeves were ripped into what pretty much amounted to hanging confetti, and she showed all the signs, physical and behavioral, of somepony who has just gone through the stress and trauma of several close brushes with death in quick succession.

"This," Yue told Paru coldly, "is why we can't ever let you be a guide for beginners."

"She's still walking, isn't she?"

"Wh-Why is she here?!" Nodoka cried, alternating between checking on the clearly distressed girl and inwardly despairing about her jeopardized plan.

Haruna shrugged. "Well, it was Negi's idea. He already was bringing her here when he called Konoka and me."

"You brought Konoka-san as well!" Nodoka gasped.

"Yep," Haruna nodded. "We got separated by that one trap, you know, the one that splits the corridor into two that go off in different directions, but they should be here any moment now. You girls won't mind, right? Anyway, knowing you as I know you, it's not like you'd have gotten anywhere with Negi even if we hadn't-"

Yue was about to leap fiercely on Haruna, and Nodoka was about to just stand back and let her do it, even coaching a bit, when they were both beaten to the literal punch by Twilight Sparkle, who suddenly regained enough presence of mind to react in an aggressive way. She pounced onto Haruna, with a cry that sounded more like a wild horse's neigh than human speech. "I COULD HAVE DIED!"

"- all I'm asking is that you please leave something for us," Yue blandly requested.

* * *

By the time Konoka and Negi got there, the whole thing had degenerated into some sort of vaudeville physical comedy of errors.

"It's my turn now!" Yue was all but pulling Twilight-san aside, rolling her sleeves up. "After all, she's my friend, so if someone here is going to kill her, that will have to be me!"

"Yue, so I'm still your friend! I'm so moved!" cooed Haruna, putting her skewed glasses back on.

"Don't even try to mollify me! You smug little-!"

Konoka grumbled something about the fortune-telling club as she dropped down to the floor. "Are you okay, Twilight Hime-sama?"

Twilight pointed at herself. "Do I look okay to you?!"

"Okay enough to me ... hey, you made it, Negi-kun! And in one piece, too!" Haruna said. "Wow, don'cha wish _someone_ had picked a more accessible vault for this tryst?"

"Die die die!" Yue snarled at her. "I bid you death!"

"Yue-san!" Negi said reprovingly. "That's not nice!" A brief pause. "Unless Haruna-san designed the traps, in which case -"

"Nope," Haruna interjected very quickly. "Anyway, that's not important, right now. Actually, I'm glad to have this many eyewitnesses with us right here and now, since..." Saotome reached up to take off her glasses as she looked at him, their removal making her look very vulnerable. "Negi-sensei ... seeing Yue confess to you like that has made me realize that it's my time to be brave, too. I've hidden my feelings for so long out of concern for my friends, but now I know that I have to be true to myself. And now, with both worlds to attest for me, I can say it without any fear at last! Negi-sensei ... _I love you!_"

"... no you don't," Negi replied after a moment.

"She doesn't?" Twilight asked. "I was under the impression they all did."

"All of us but Haruna have hearts," Yue grumbled.

"Are you taking Eva-chan into account when saying that?" asked Haruna, pulling her glasses back on.

"Yes, I am," Yue said. "A black heart is still a heart."

Haruna sniffled. "Oh, the pain of betrayal and unfair distrust from all sides! Come on, Sensei, can't you be all discombobulated like you were when they did it?" she protested.

"I'm sorry, Haruna-san, but while a sincere expression of emotions can do that to me, I'm afraid that I know you too well to believe that you're being serious," Negi replied, sounding genuinely apologetic but also firm.

Haruna momentarily pouted. "Am I really that -"

"YES!" Yue shouted, augmented by Nodoka's somewhat fainter affirmation.

"I didn't even get to the adjective," Haruna protested.

"Insincere, shallow, smug, malicious, smug -" Yue listed off.

"You already said smug."

"Not helping, Konoka," Nodoka grunted.

"I don't get it," Twilight said. "If you dislike her so much, why do you still hang out with her?"

"Good question. Someday, I hope to find out, myself," Yue mumbled.

"Woe is me!" Haruna declared, gazing up at the vault's ceiling. "Those who know me best, with whom I have stood time and again, view me as some manner of poltroon! Here I stand, making a maidenly declaration of love and devotion -"

"Maidenly my ass!" Yue yelled.

"Yue-san!" Negi gasped. "That's very bad language, and you're going far beyond ordinary insult -"

"Why is mentioning a donkey considered an insult here?" Twilight wondered. "Several of my friends are donkeys!" But in the heat of the moment no one was really listening to her anymore.

"Eh, no, that one's fair, that ship has sailed," Haruna admitted. "It was the only way I could get the starter money for the BL publishing boom I started, over in the magical world."

That revelation silenced the room for a minute.

Then Twilight asked, "What do donkeys have to do with publishing?"

"Haruna-san!" Negi at last said, clearly appalled. "You, you -"

"You _manipulative-_" Yue began to growl.

"What? Oh - oh, hey, no! I didn't tell you that to make anybody feel - geez, you guys!" Now Haruna sounded genuinely upset. "You don't trust me at all, do you?"

Yue opened her mouth to answer that.

"Seriously, why are you friends, if you dislike each other that much?" Twilight asked again.

"Please stay out of this," Nodoka said in a very low yet quite tense tone.

Twilight looked at her. "I beg your pardon?"

"Nothing."

"Fine," the taller girl sighed. "Then the only thing for me to do is to show you that I'm deserving of your trust, and the only way for me to do that is for me to back off. Okay, then. Konoka, Hime-sama, let's back off so that these two can do what they need to do."

"What's that?" Twilight asked, before her eyes narrowed in suspicion. "Oh, don't tell me you're also into that."

"Into what?" Haruna asked, genuinely curious.

Negi had a brief but intense fit of coughing.

Konoka, who could read Negi's signs rather well, was giving Haruna a rather skeptical look that really would have reminded Negi of her mother's expression when dealing with the Headmaster, had he been looking at her then, but she acquiesced to Haruna's request and stepped back, away from Negi and their two fellow club members. After a moment, Twilight did the same thing, without either waiting for Haruna's answer or supplying her own.

"No, seriously, what are you talking about?" the mangaka insisted.

Then Nodoka, however, only sighed and closed her eyes, under the hair bangs that had somehow reappeared over her face. And she said, in a defeated tone, "Thank you, Haruna, but no, I can't do it. Not anymore. Not like this."

"Is this because I'm here?" Twilight asked.

"No offense intended, but ... yes," Nodoka said, more dryly than was her custom.

"Hmm. Okay. Fine, I can leave and, I don't know, go explore other areas of this fascinating library that have more books and less tension, all I'm asking for is a guide who isn't this madwoman."

"Heeeeyyyy! Now even the foreigners get on my case, too?" Haruna snorted.

"... and then you can stay here by yourselves to, I don't know, hopefully not kill each other or have sex -" Then she quickly brought both hands up to her mouth, while Yue, Nodoka and Negi began gagging in their own saliva.

Haruna's ahoge twitched. "... sex?"

Konoka drew in a very deep breath and said, "Okay, well, yeah, I suppose the cat's out of the bag now and there's no point in pretending anymore. Sorry, Honya-chan. Sorry, Yue-chan. I don't know how Twilight Hime-sama could learn about this." That was said with a subtle knowing glare in Negi's general direction. "But the truth is, Negi-kun has already had sex with me, Asuna and Setchan."

Seeing Nodoka and Yue hadn't fainted, nor even dropped their glowsticks from their now rigid hands, she dared to continue. "And ... things have sort of snowballed, so he did it with Chisame-chan and Kazumi-chan and Eva-chan too."

"If you'll excuse me, I'll go look for the dealiest trap available and hope it can-" Negi gloomily said, his blush glowing in the dark, but the grip of Nodoka's chillingly hard and fierce hand on his own stopped him. Nodoka's blank expression remained the same.

Konoka decided to go for broke. "And, and, Asuna has said it's okay, so ... we also helped Mikazuki-sempai from the Neighbors' Club with her problems as well, and then Tenjouin Saki-sempai and her two friends came to visit, and ... things have happened sorta crazy quickly, so -"

Haruna let out a dry whistle and, after swallowing the huge knot in her throat, tentatively asked Yue, "So, I'm like only your **second worst** friend now, right?"

"Die die die DIE **DIE!**" Yue leapt on Konoka. Setsuna and all of Kyoto be damned. **"I bid you death!"**

"Don't fight, don't fight!" Negi desperately pleaded.

Once again, the whole thing degenerated into some sort of vaudeville physical comedy of errors.

* * *

"N-Nagi-sensei?" Shiori looked up at the stern and scary teacher and the almost-as-scary author of some of her favorite recent novels, both standing before her desk. "Y-Yes, he was there several minutes ago, oh, uh, actually, almost a hour ... with Saotome-san and Konoe-san and, apparently, some new student."

"Whose name was?" Diedrich-sensei asked.

"Um... Twilight Sparkle-san, they said," Shiori spoke the two last words in perfectly fluid English obtained from long years of reading foreign books and listening to audiobooks. Then, as both visitors' glares increased, she explained, "They told me her parents were hippies!"

"And where are they now?" Fukawa-san demanded to know.

"They, they said they'd be in an important private meeting with Miyazaki-san and Ayase-san, that they didn't want to be disturbed."

"With Miss Miyazaki?" The man grew apparently concerned. Which he was, at least as much as he could ever care about another human being. Miyazaki Nodoka was one of the very few students in that campus he saw any hopes for, and he had repeatedly thought she was wasting her potential away in the company of irresponsible underachievers like Saotome and Ayase. "And where are they now?"

Shiori lifted a book to place it over her own mouth, her stare turning downright pleading. "I was requested to keep it a secret..."

"I am a member of the staff with seniority over Mr. Springfield," Diedrich said in an intimidating tone. "You _will_ tell us where they are, young lady."

"But, but it's down in one of the underground chambers! Those aren't safe to visit without the company of a credited Library explorer!"

"You often go in expeditions down there with their club, don't you?" Fukawa asked.

She hesitated. "Why, yes, yes, sometimes I do, but-"

"Do you know where the traps are?" Touko pressed on.

"A, a few of them, but-!"

"Do you think you can take us safely to where they are now?" Touko pressed on, leaning towards her as her fingers clutched on the desk's wooden surface, sharply. As long as she was on a mission for Byakuya-sama, she wouldn't stop hounding his likely enemies, no matter what!

Shiori found herself having to decide if she feared those two more than the traps.

The answer came to her easily enough, actually.

* * *

_Minutes later:_

"I, I told you I rarely venture down here!" Shiori defended herself as she led the march down a dark side corridor she had accessed through a trap door. Walking behind her, Touko sadly looked at how her left braid had been chopped in half by a sharp metal pendulum, and Diedrich cradled his pet crow jealously against his chest, the bird having triggered an old hidden flamethrower that had nearly turned it into roasted chicken. "But I think this is the correct route to Vault XJ-62!" her voice gained firmer determination just as she messed it up and took the wrong path at the next bifurcation, leading them towards XJ-89 instead.

"I warn you," Touko growled bitterly, "if you're taking us to our deaths, I'll make sure you go down before I do. And in a far more painful way."

"I'm positive this is the way," Shiori insisted, remembering the lessons learned from her recent past, and striving to show her true courage. If Miyazaki-san could grow bolder and more confident, so could she! "Now, just be careful you don't step on any of the slightly darker blocks on the floors of this passageway."

Nodding, Diedrich and Touko made sure to place their feet only on those lighter-toned blocks from there on. Unfortunately, the path towards XJ-89 worked on the exact opposite principles as that of XJ-62.

There were a few ominous creaking sounds.

The skin on Touko's back crawled. Her hands slowly began reaching for Shiori's neck. "I am a woman of my word -"

Shiori, for the first time in a while, frowned. "There's no need to fear whatsoever, that's only -"

Then the floor under their feet collapsed, and there were three shrieks and a loud crawing before the darkness underneath swallowed them whole.

* * *

"So that's what happened," Nodoka stated simply, yet with a mildly somber air of finality. They all were sitting in a circle around the glowsticks, with Twilight's horn providing extra light, so Negi could see Nodoka's quietly ashen expression well enough to feel horribly crushed about it. "That is ... I suppose it shouldn't have surprised me, in hindsight. Asuna-san was always more... pragmatic and forward than us, after all."

"No she wasn't!" Yue disagreed from where she saw opposite Haruna and Konoka, both of whom rubbed their throats hoping the ache would go eventually. "Nodoka, you confessed to Negi-sensei long before she found the courage to do so for Takahata-sensei! Honestly, what in the world brought this on? Since when did Asuna-san became this ... this sexually aggressive?"

"I notice you aren't acting as surprised about me," Konoka dared to say.

Yue stared at her again. "I've just lost all capacity to feel anything towards you. That includes surprise. Now tell me, what moved someone who used to be as frankly obtuse about her own real feelings as Asuna-san to make that bold a move?"

"Are you sure you want to toss that rock at that ceiling, Miss Glass Roof?" Haruna asked her.

"Shut up."

"Yue," Nodoka said then, just as Konoka, Negi and Twilight grew even more restless over the perspective of being forced to confess all the truth on Asuna's situation. "Isn't that obvious? Much like us, Asuna-san must have felt the need to make her play before the rest of us could. I cannot honestly fault her, or even Konoka-san and Setsuna-san, for it, since it's the same thing I would have done if I had their home advantage."

"Well, at least someone here is honest about themselves," Haruna nodded. "Other than me, of course."

"Be quiet, you," Nodoka asked her. Then she looked, rather blandly in the outside, at Negi's nerve wrecked expression. "Now I understand that's the kind of woman Sensei likes. Someone who is strong, proactive and assertive, who will take the first step when it's obvious he never will. The kind of woman who doesn't allow basic concerns of morality and pride stop her from getting her man, even if that means having sex with him before strangers."

"Nodoka-san, you're scaring me now," Negi admitted, eyes very wide.

"Seconded," Twilight nodded rapidly.

"And I wouldn't exactly call the others 'strangers', either." Negi looked down.

Nodoka gave a small sigh then. "That doesn't matter. I have decided little matters in this subject except our feelings. Which goes against all the shallow barriers and defenses of rationality I have built over the years, but do you know what, Sensei? I have come to learn those barriers are constricting my heart painfully, and will keep doing so until I break them. And it's the same with Yue!"

"No, no it isn't!" Yue protested.

Negi seemed really terrified now. Had he been in his child body, he'd have looked pitiable enough to inspire Nodoka to stop, probably. As it was, he looked more like a grown young adult doing a Scared Jim Carrey impression than anything else.

Nodoka placed her hands on his shoulders before looking at Twilight Sparkle. "For you, all of this discussion on human sexuality must feel like it'd feel for us to listen to a conversation on horse breeding, am I right?"

"Ummmmm." Twilight sweated profusely. _What have I done to get tangled in these situations?!  
_  
"Don't be afraid to answer honestly, Hime-sama," Nodoka said evenly, yet with a distant sharp edge. "You won't offend us with the truth."

_Oh, yes I would!_ Twilight frantically thought, looking for an uncompromising but sincere answer. "I, I don't think it's my place to criticize you ... Can I head back now? I think I'm willing to even risk going without a guide -"

**"NO!"** all four librarians said at once.

"That is extremely dangerous for anyone!" Yue lectured.

"And against the regulations!" Haruna added.

"Think of what will happen to the project if you're harmed!" Konoka argued.

"And I want you to watch," Nodoka said.

Every other pair of eyes in the chamber darted towards her.

She blushed, yet kept her face high. "If, if Asuna-san can do it, so can I, and I really want to prove that, b-but it might be better for me starting with the presence of someone who won't care because we're of different species."

"Nodoka-san, you don't have to prove anything!" Negi said.

Yue gulped loudly and added, "And, and besides, just because they aren't human, that doesn't mean they aren't as human as us ... yes, I do realize what I just said, Haruna!" She quickly made that clear with a dangerous glance towards Paru, who blinked and made a gesture of understanding.

"But, but it's not the same thing with her as it is with Emily-san or Collete-san. Isn't that correct, Twilight Hime-sama?" Nodoka asked the horned girl.

Said horned girl cringed awkwardly. "You don't have to call me like that! I'd prefer to be called just 'Twilight' very much!"

Nodoka nodded. "See, Sensei, she wouldn't care any more than we'd care about seeing two dogs mating. Well, three in this case, although I realize I might have used the wrong words for this comparison."

"Gee, you think?" wondered Haruna.

"I told you to be quiet. I will not repeat myself again," Nodoka softly said. "Negi-sensei, let me get right to the point. I've confessed my feelings to you, and so has Yue. And Yue and I are best friends, as I'm sure that you know."

"... oh dear," Negi said, for once getting a bit ahead of the conversation. "Are we in a love triangle?

"No, Negi-sensei. I think this polygon left the number three long, quite long ago. But that is inconsequential now. Rather than allow this situation to end up like those that a certain person told you about -"

"I'm sitting right heeeere!" Haruna bristled.

Nodoka ignored that. "- I have come up with a much better solution. I was reluctant to implement it, but matters have progressed, and I don't think that there are any other viable options." She took a deep breath. "So, the two of us are going to have sex with you. And each other. Right now. No matter who the fuck else might be watching us or not." She nodded, calmly, and began to open her blouse.

"No, really, I think I can head back through those traps," Twilight lamely insisted. "I'm sure I triggered them all on my way here anyway."

* * *

When Fukawa Touko finally woke up, the first thing she noticed was laying on her stomach and face on a cracked old stab of dusty, cold stone. That, and her nose was bleeding, which immediately sent her into a panicked frenzy. She sat up, taking both hands to her face, trembling violently, and trying to control herself, so the monster would not escape. However, the sight of blood seeping in between her fingers amidst the nearly all encompassing blackness overpowered her psyche, and with a few final shakes, Genocide Syo woke up.

A slow, wide shark grin crept up her face, as the eyes behind her cracked glasses gained an eerie glint. Her long tongue began sneaking out from between her teeth. She took the hands to her mouth in the darkness and licked them clean, before she pulled the twin sharp scissors out of her sleeves and then...

... and then a cloud of dust fell on her from above, making her sneeze violently.

Professor Diedrich and Shiori looked down from where they had been, climbing onto a massive rock formation of the wrecked underground chamber. "Oh, so you finally woke up, child," the man told Touko, with bitter contempt. "If you can move, then help us here, will you? Miss Shiomiya says she's positive there is a hidden passage back upwards around here, although I have considerable doubts on the subject, myself."

"I'm sure!" Shiori protested. "Ayase-san once told me about this place. It's a collapsed room she and a few of her classmates once visited with Negi-sensei while looking for a very special book. After that incident, the Exploration Club visited this site again and found the optional exit, and apparently, now we just found an alternative path into it. But I'm sure she told me something else about it." She took a hand to her mouth, looking visibly concerned in the light of her glowstick.

Touko, now back to what passed for normal due to her sneeze, rubbed her nose and stood back up. "Ath thou shure?" she asked, quite grumpily, hiding the scissors back in her sleeves. "Orth only ath shure ath thou were while gwiding uth hewe?"

"What?" Shiori asked her, blinking several times.

Touko took a hand to her face and sighed. "Fuhgedd it, I'm juth going tho khall Bahkuya-shama..."

While pulling her cellphone out and accessing the sole number on her speed access list, Diedrich's pet craw began crawing loudly, flapping its wings.

Touko grunted as she sat down on one of several shattered pieces of rock that had the design of a broken kanji sculpted into them. They were scattered all over the place. "Shenshei, wilth thou shutt dat bhird down?! I'm shture it'sh aghainst schtool... regulationsh... in... thu... fiwst... pwace..."

She then fell still and mute in shock and terror, as did the others, when a gigantic figure loomed over them, rising from the wreckage. It spoke, at first with difficulty, but always with a booming, overpowering tone, "ALL... OF YOU... SEARCHERS FOR KNOWLEDGE... MUST ANSWER THE GUARDIAN'S QUESTIONS WITH NO FEAR!"

The three humans quickly turned around and ran for their lives, with the crow in tow.

The armored giant with the war hammer, for the briefest of moments, made a sound that vaguely resembled that of a sigh.

Then it began chasing them.

* * *

"Nodoka! You never said anything about -" Yue began to protest while Negi simply stared.

"Yue." Nodoka grabbed her and wrapped her arms around her shorter friend, much as she had earlier that day when Yue had been weeping as her memories returned. "For once in your life, please, please, don't over-think things." Without further ado, she bent down and pressed her lips to Yue's own.

"There's nothing wrong about being extra-careful over -" Twilight Sparkle began an intervention that quickly died down as several flashbacks ran in quick succession through her head.

_"I said I'm sorry!" said Applejack. "I should'a listened to you when you noticed where this here branch would end up. Yer annoyin' attention to detail would'a saved us from this whole mess. But right now, ya need to stop bein' so dang fussy pickin' up all the little things and help me move the one big thing in here that actually matters! Please!"_

_**And later...**_

_"And that you shouldn't let your worries turn a small problem..." Rarity added for the latest letter to Princess Celestia._

_"... into an enormously huge entire-town-in-total-chaos Princess-has-to-come-and-save-the-day problem!" Pinkie Pie completed it._

_**And yet later...**_

_"Oh... poor dear," Fluttershy said as Rarity plummeted on top of her, exhausted after the preparations for her latest gala. "She really does need to take a break."_

_"And she needs to before she cracks!" Twilight sighed. "Trust me ... I should know."_

Now, Twilight simply sat back with a defeated expression. "On second thought, please forget I'm even here. Why, I'm completely superfluous, I'm sure this would turn out the exact same way if I wasn't here."

Konoka looked at her. "You over-think things as well, don't you? Awwww! You'll fit right in with us!"

"Wh-what's that supposed to mean?" Twilight stuttered nervously.

Meanwhile, Yue's eyes were going wide, then contracting to tiny black dots, then began moving rapidly in swirly-shaped motions. Nodoka might have giggled if she'd seen it happening, but her eyes were unfortunately closed. And once they opened, when she'd pulled back, she had other things on her mind.

"I've always loved you, Yue. From the very first moment we met, to this," Nodoka confided softly. "I could just never admit it before. Even when I was shown what I wanted, I couldn't accept it." She smiled sweetly. "But then I lost you, and I realized that to get you back, I'd do ... just about anything. And once I knew that, I understood what it all meant. I love you, Yue. I love you, and I love Negi-sensei, and I want us all to be together, always." Another kiss, deeper this time, her tongue doing to Yue's tongue what her hands were doing to the other girl's hips.

"Buh-" Yue stammered once Nodoka pulled back again. "But, but, what about Negi-sensei, he might not -"

"Look at him, Yue," Nodoka quietly commanded. "Look at him looking at us." In fact Negi was doing so, and while his face was expressing shock, it was impossible to miss a certain tension in the lower portions of his form. "He likes it. He probably watches Konoka and Setsuna-san doing just this sort of thing -"

"Well, yes," Konoka said. "But I think he likes watching me and Asuna doing it more."

Nodoka nodded. "That's more information than what I was hoping for, but thanks regardless."

"From what Asuna said, he really liked watching her and Eva-chan, too," Konoka added in the spirit of full disclosure.

"Much too much information," Nodoka said rather testily. "You see, Yue? You see now? We need to move on this! Or else -"

"Okay," Yue whimpered.

Nodoka would have liked to exult at her victory, but if she was right, there really wasn't any time for that. So, without further ado, she guided Yue's steps over to where Negi was now standing, and drew him into her and Yue's embrace, kissing him for a full minute before pulling back and pushing Yue and Negi's lips together. The sight of her two loves kissing her excited her, but with the same focus and discipline that had let her become an ace ruin explorer, she kept her mind on the prize.

The 'prize', of course, was inside Negi's pants. Thus, while Yue and Negi kissed - rather frantically, she thought - she slipped down to undo his belt and zipper, then pull down his boxers to reveal -

"Ghhhhgghhhh!" Nodoka expressed as she saw it for the first time.

"N-Nodoka-san!" Negi gasped, pulling back from Yue's increasingly hungry kisses at the sound of dismay he'd just heard. "What, what's the matt-"

"It's, it's just so -" she stammered, staring at it. "It's much bigger than any - than I was expecting," she continued, hoping no one noticed the way she'd changed course in the middle of the sentence. As it happened, Negi didn't notice. Neither did Yue. She might have, but she was somewhat distracted by the way that she went all cross-eyed as she stared down at what Nodoka was also contemplating.

Twilight risked a look down there as well, then asked, "Is that it?"

As one, the other girls stared at her.

Twilight blinked. "Um, well, it's not that I mean to offend, but -"

Haruna smiled and sighed. "Oh, right. It's not like any of you guys in Magical Pastel Colored Horseland ever wears pants, and they don't say 'hung as a horse' for nothing, riiight?"

"It's called Equestria, not Magical Pastel Colored Horseland," Twilight replied with a deep frown. "Do you think we ever could fit all of that properly into a map?"

Nodoka chose to ignore that weird tangent and return her attention to what she had been starting at before. It hadn't gotten any smaller.

"It's okay, Nodoka-san," Negi reassured her quickly. "We don't have to do anything, we can just, I don't know, kiss and cuddle or whatever, you don't have to do anything you're not comfortable with, and I'd actually be happier -"

All the while that he spoke, Yue was slowly, ever-so-slowly, dropping down until her face was level with Nodoka's. They exchanged a glance as he spoke about 'not comfortable', and then Nodoka took a deep breath. "Sensei," she said, breaking in to his monologue about abstinence.

"Yes?" he asked faintly.

"We're going to fuck you now." And without further ado, she opened her mouth and popped the tip of the monstrosity into it.

* * *

Jonathan Crane refused to call what he was feeling fear.

After all, over the years of fighting his inner demons and terrorizing Gotham City, he had conquered all of the fears of his youth - birds, bullies, the darkness, leeches, spiders, the Boogieman, the Castle Cove meme, ghosts, vagina dentata, the Grim Reaper, his grandmother, snakes... let's just say there were quite a few of them - until only one remained: fear of The Batman. And even so, he kept challenging that fear, tackling the other true Master of Fear and Intimidation, over and over, often coming really close to killing him. It was, thus, stupid to postulate that he could be afraid of some sort of ancient animatronic monstrosity chasing him.

What he was experiencing, unlike those two shrieking young females with her, was a simple and perfectly reasonable flee-or-die survival response. Not fear, as such.

It was probably a moot point now the giant had came to a sudden halt after the fleeing trio (and crow) went over a stone bridge that passed over a seemingly bottomless dark abyss. Naturally, said bridge was far too narrow for the animated object to use it, giving the weary explorers a moment of relief.

Touko panted as she fixed her glasses, which had come slightly askew as she ran, as best as she could. "Dis is all yur fhault," she mumbled in a comically nasal accent.

Shiori blinked, hands on her knees, one of them shakily holding her glowstick. "Do you mean him, or me?"

"BOTH!"

"Assigning blames in this situation is pointless, especially because we know the actual blame should be divided between those who built this god-forsaken place and those who led us here," Diedrich grumbled, aiming his glowstick in all directions. The golem shook its arms powerlessly on the other side of the bridge. "However, Miss Shiomiya, if you happen to be ignorant of where to take us after this point, I will start considering you responsible for our grisly demises."

"W-Why me?!" Shiori cried.

"Buhcuz yur a luhbrarian, und yuhr shtupposed tha knuw thur way 'round heer," Touko grunted, nursing her infinitely aching nose. "Whuru tuh now?"

The golem slammed its hammer down against the floor, and the whole chamber rattled. Large creaks and crevices began forming, running all around the golem, then spreading across the bridge, and quickly reaching the floor under the three lost explorers' feet.

"Down," Shiori gulped, before the floor collapsed under them again, and once again they plummeted into the unknown.

IT WASN'T FEAR, MUCH LESS PANIC AND TERROR, WHAT THE SINISTER SCARECROW WAS EXPERIENCING NOW, EITHER!

* * *

Hesitantly, not at all certain that this was what she wanted but determined not to be less brave than her friend, Yue followed her action, pressing her own lips to the shaft, kissing and licking it. She broke off of that in a gasp as she felt a pair of fingers undoing the button of her shorts, but a glance down confirmed that if was Nodoka's right hand, her left being occupied by caressing the dangling... things... at the base of the shaft.

Nodoka's eyes, until now closed, opened to gaze into Yue's eyes. There was so much hunger in those eyes, but so much happiness, too.

_She really does love me as much as she loves him,_ Yue thought ... and there was just a trace of despair in the idea, for she wasn't at all sure that she felt the same way. But their lips met as they exchanged their methodologies of blowjob mechanics, and, for a while, those concerns abated.

"Hot damn," Haruna mused as she watched on. "Those two sure got a lot braver while I wasn't watching, I'll tell you. If the first one I ever saw had been that big, I'd have-"

"Haruna," Konoka, standing beside her, and sounding far more serious than she normally did. "When were you going to tell us about that?"

The artist flinched. The accurate, honest answer - 'about five minutes after never' - would not go over all that well, she suspected. "It's not that big a deal. It was just a few days of unpleasant crap. Why dwell on it?"

"Because we're your friends, Haruna. That has to mean something more than 'people you have good times with', or it doesn't really mean anything at all."

"I don't tell you about all the crap I go through whenever a book isn't coming together, why should I bother you with this?" Haruna replied defensively.

"Umm, I hate interrupting when people are talking about something as personal as this," Twilight said, actually glad to distract herself from the awkward scene taking place across from them. "But Miss Konoe is right. Well, at least in that particular regard. Ahem, as my friend Applejack once wrote to Princess Celestia on the subject-" She cleared her throat softly, before making a glowing scroll appear on midair before her and reading from it, "_'Bein' honest sure gets hard when it seems like the truth might hurt somepony you care about. But I think believin' a lie can end up hurtin' them even more. Maybe some ponies don't care about that – but I sure ain't one of them.'_ That was after she -"

Haruna rolled her eyes, which were starting to feel oddly moist for some reason. "Oh, that's right, I forgot. You're an officially qualified expert on the Magic of Friendship."

Twilight blinked. "Uh... was that sarcasm? Because, well, I am indeed-"

"Whatever. It's over, it's done. I don't, I don't want to -" She broke off, conscious of the fact that tears were starting to flow from her eyes. She hated crying. She'd always hated it. Only the pretty girls in shoujo stories could make it work, and Saotome Haruna had long since realized that her life would never be a shoujo manga.

She was also conscious that Konoka was hugging her. "You don't want to talk about it. That's okay. I can wait," the healer murmured.

Twilight nodded and produced another scroll. "Indeed. Of course, sooner or later, you must remember this_. 'Being a good friend means being able to keep a secret, but you should never be afraid to share your true feelings with a good friend.'_ That's what I wrote to Princess Celestia when I -"

Konoka sighed and took a deep breath. "Do you mind if I touch you while they're doing it?" she asked Haruna, rather than focusing on the lecture. Maybe Twilight-san was a little bit TOO MUCH like Negi-kun, after all.

Haruna blinked, confusion momentarily driving the unwanted tears away. "Touching, as in -"

"As in."

"Hah. I figured you'd be getting enough from Setchan and -"

The grip tightened just a bit. "There's no such thing as enough," Konoka said, now definitely pressing up against Haruna in all sorts of interesting ways. "Come on, Haruna, it's not like we're between thirteen and fifteen anymore."

Twilight felt a strange Pinkie-esque need to ask if that had been some sort of literary reference, but fortunately for the Fourth Wall, she didn't.

"Oookay, then," Haruna said, and turned to face Konoka just enough that their lips could meet.

Konoka really had made an enormous amount of progress, Haruna decided a moment later, as her partner slid one hand up her sweater and the other under the hemline of her skirt. Hadn't it only been a month ago that she'd had her first kiss with a girl? (Admittedly after months of trying to get said girl to kiss her.) And yet here she was, going all the way with a completely different girl, and before an almost stranger as well, and not for the first time either. Another person might have felt a bit bittersweet about the loss of her friend's innocence, but Haruna had never had much regard for innocence.

Which was why her reaction to being reminded of her own loss of it was so very baffling to her.

Yet as her panties were slid aside and two little fingers slid in another direction altogether, and Haruna's head lolled back in a way that almost dislodged her glasses, she supposed that this was a nice compensation for all that she'd been through. Here she was, in one of the places she loved best in the world - this place and Big Sight were tied for first - with the people she loved best in the world - well, it would have been nice if a certain manga artist who was known for being friendly with the groupies was here, but that was a quibble - doing something as great as fiveway sex.

Well, okay, so far it was only a threesome and the two of them off to the side, but Haruna could smell the incipient fivesome. It had a different stench than the love reek, so she was sure that she wasn't getting them confused. It might be nice to keep her eyes on said threesome to spot the perfect time to join in, so she tilted her head back to get a look at them.

"Ouch!" she said a moment later in response to a bite on her tit.

"Eyes on me, Haruna," Konoka's silky voice spoke to her.

It was probably for the best. The moment would speak to her if it was meant to happen.

Meanwhile, Twilight sat watching with distressed huge eyes. Not only had they just disregarded some of her best morals to devote themselves to such activities, but they actually were disregarding her as completely inconsequential in the face of such events. It was somewhat hurtful. Were the laws of friendship really that different in this realm, or were these humans simply not so - no, she couldn't get judgmental on them, she reprimanded herself with a hand on her own face. She shouldn't think of herself as their moral superior, even if they were doing those ... things in those ways that rattled and confused her so much. After all, _'Never judge a book by its cover. Somepony may look unusual, or funny, or scary. But you have to look past that and learn who they are inside. Real friends don't care what your 'cover' is; It's the contents of a pony that count. And a good friend, like a good book, is something that will last forever.'_

Right, that was it, she told herself, reaffirming her determination. She had to become friends with these people, she wanted to become friends with these people, and even if they were scaring her, she'd do her best to overcome that and accept them for what they were, no matter what.

Once Nodoka was satisfied that Yue had the hang of the blowjob, she left off of her own involvement to focus on the next phase of the experience. This involved stripping off her shirt and shorts, leaving her in just her bra, panties and hiking boots. (She did not even remotely consider taking off her boots. This was still Library Island.) She then turned to do the same for Yue, gently caressing her form as she denuded it - though of course, all that she could do with the shirt and undershirt beneath was to roll them both up to Yue's breasts.

_Gaaaaahhhhh,_ Twilight thought, her renewed determination abruptly coming to a halt again.

It was sort of freaky, actually, how humans had those so close to their necks. Looking down at her own changed shape, Twilight considered the breasts beneath her shirt, measuring them in her hands. They certainly were larger than Miss Yue and Miss Nodoka's but much smaller than Miss Haruna's, probably of the same size as Miss Konoka's. From what Miss Paio had said, humans, overall, appreciated most sizes all the same, each one having its own fans and followers. Briefly, however, she couldn't help wondering if the others present there would find hers appealing. After all, they'd still think of her as a non-human, wouldn't they?

Nodoka paused, to kiss those tiny teats, before lifting her head to Yue's ear. "Yue," she said, a bit hoarsely. "We're going to do it, now. We're going to have sex with him." Deep breath. "Do you want to have him inside of you first?"

Yue pulled back from the manhood, gasping for breath and most likely because of emotion as well. "I," she stammered. "I-I-aiyaiyai -"

"You are not being selfish," Nodoka said, as firmly as she could. "You are not. I am asking. I want an honest answer. Do you want to have sex first, or do you want to watch me do it so you know what it's like. Which do you want, Yue?"

Perhaps having the problem stated so baldly helped Yue to find the solution_. "... watch..."_ she muttered, amidst things too quiet for Nodoka to hear.

"Thank you, Yue," Nodoka said, kissing her once. Then she raised her voice. "Negi-sensei, please lie down."

He'd been silent during all of this, save for gasps of obvious pleasure. Now he opened his mouth to say something ... but whatever it was, he sighed instead of saying it, and then added, as he began to sit down, "All right."

Down on the rough stone floor, he lay for a second before Nodoka slowly straddled him, staring down at his face, into his eyes, as she manipulated his erection until it was in the right position to push up into her. As the tip pressed in, she made a face. "Yue," she said. "Please sit on Negi-sensei's face."

"Wha -" he said, before he was interrupted by Yue doing just that.

Nodoka looked at Yue. Yue looked at Nodoka. Nodoka lifted her hands, reached out to set them on Yue's slender shoulders... then pushed herself down and held herself back from screaming in agony only by whatever strength she was drawing up out of her dearest friend, who promptly brought up her own arms to hold them against Nodoka's own.

Had Negi seen her, he would have stopped her. And that would never do.

_Is that a special, different sort of Friendship Magic?_ Twilight pondered, feeling strangely bothered about it, her cheeks burning red as she bore witness. She could read, after all, the powerful emotional bonds flowing between them, and drink in the side waves of their union that emanated from them in regular, strong pulses. She never had been one to think too deeply about romance, but then, romance and friendship had a lot in common, didn't they? Miss Nodoka and Miss Yue certainly seemed to think so, from how close they were, how they touched each other, and watching that made Twilight feel, for the first time, that she was lacking something like that. All of her friends were precious to her, and yet, there she was now, witnessing the presence of a new, strange and yet so beautiful kind of friendship she had never really considered possible between two girls ... or mares ... before.

She felt an all new need, more emotional than anything else, begin bubbling up her. Twilight had always lived to learn, before and after finding the true meaning of friendship and socialization. When faced with anything new to learn and assimilate, her first instinct was to do so. This, after all, was no different. But of course, as things were, that was impossible, and a deep frustration began growing inside of her.

Yue was somewhat used to the way that her mind could, if permitted, run a mile a minute, if not faster. The novelty, if you could call it a novelty, was that her thoughts normally didn't do that when she was doing something, only when she was idle. And she certainly wasn't idle now, was she? No, wait, was she? She was! Technically, Yue supposed that she actually was idle, now that she gave it a few seconds of thought. After all, she wasn't doing anything, really, just sitting there, with her hindquarters perched on Negi-sensei's face, her own face screwed up as she felt him licking her down there and doing it surprisingly well. Not that she had much basis for comparison because Collette hadn't ever done that to her no matter what Nodoka seemed to think. And she had been mostly asleep that one time that she'd woken up and seen Emily and Beatrix doing something that she hadn't been able to see very well but which they'd certainly seemed to enjoy quite a bit before she'd finally forced herself to close her eyes and go to sleep despite how much she was blushing. Just like she was blushing right now as Negi licked her down there, while Nodoka, in front of her, their arms gripping each other almost painfully, rocked her hips back and forth on that that that that that -

And then Nodoka let go of her grip on Yue's arms and collapsed forward, head dropping to press against Yue's still almost-flat chest, kissing her nipples for a moment, before looking up.

"You're afraid, aren't you?" Nodoka said, so quietly, despite the loud gasps she made on either side of those intelligible words. "You're afraid that you don't love me as much as I love you."

_How did she know?_ Yue wanted to scream, even though she knew that if she started screaming right then she was never going to be able to stop.

"You're wrong," Nodoka said. "You love me, and I love you, and it's the same. I'll show you that it's the same. I'll show you."

What, what could she possibly mean by that, and why was she kissing down her stomach, and coming face to face with Negi-sensei, and -

_Oh, that's what she could possibly mean by that_, was Yue's last coherent thought before her brain turned to mush as Nodoka began licking her down there in conjunction with Negi, even as her hips kept moving atop him, pumping him.

Twilight began sobbing very softly, unable to look away anymore.

* * *

Fukawa's fall was stopped by the branches of a giant tree in which she now hung, tangled upside down, long skirt flapping all over her upper body and face, white panties and kicking legs now in full display. Not that the two bodies plunging down into the waters beneath her particularly cared, being too busy hitting the liquid with some notable force.

As difficult to kill as anyone who ever went after the Batman with a costume on, Diedrich surfaced almost immediately, splurting out large mouthfuls of water as his crow perched itself on his wet scalp. "Heads will roll over this!" he promised. "Blood will flow! This Academy will burn!"

Shiori emerged moments later, giving small coughs and taking a hand to her chest. Minerva had to take over for a few seconds to pull her body out of the water and rattle her back into consciousness before she drowned, only to quickly retreat back afterwards. "What ... what happened?"

"Your incompetence happened, that's what!" Diedrich harshly accused her. "Why in the world did you lead us down that path if you weren't sure it was safe?!"

"But, but I warned you, and you wouldn't listen!" the soaking girl whined, keeping herself afloat as the scrawny man loomed over her threateningly.

"Shtap yellin' luhke idiots an' hwelp me dhown..." Touko yelled, and after they looked up towards her, she shrieked, "Bhut dhun't luk! I'm indeshent! Yuh perverts, dhun't dink yuh can tuke hadshvantage of me in a lunely pwace like dis!"

"Lonely?" the man and the other student looked all around, their gazes roaming all over the strangely luminous underground facility, which was half-sunken and half-covered with tropical vegetation, and they took deep breaths of wonder and amazements.

Books. Books, everywhere where they could look. Huge stands and stands of seemingly well preserved books stretching in all directions, between tall trees and thick bushes. They began drooling, Fukawa completely forgotten.

"Hey," Touko said, "Duhdn't yuh lishten ta me, I shaid-" Then the branches holding her finally collapsed under her weight, and shriling hysterically, she plummeted between them, splashing everywhere. Neither of the apparently hypnotized bibliophiles seemed to particularly care about that fact.

Tears began rolling down Shiori's face. "This is it! The rumored paradise of the librarians! The Eden of Mahora's occult knowledge!" Inside of her, Minerva was swooning in delightful overload.

"Volumes upon volumes upon volumes of quaint and curious forgotten lore!" Diedrich spoke in hushed tones, his eyes gleaming with avarice.

A few bubbles came to the surface before a really pissed off Touko burst out from the depths and slapped them both across the heads at the same time.

* * *

"You know," Haruna said, between licks at Konoka's pussy, "it strikes me ... as being a little unfair... that you get to watch... those three... and I have to keep -"

"Shhh," said Konoka, pulling Haruna's face deeper into her core with a knee wrapped around her friend's neck and shoulders. "Of course I'm fair. I'm always fair. Even when I'm unfair, I'm always fair."

"Wh-What?" Twilight asked, her eyebrows taking a deliciously surreal shape. She was right and that didn't make sense, of course, but Haruna wasn't in any position to object. She did, however, have the ability to express her displeasure a bit more directly, and did so.

"Ah!" Konoka gasped in mild pain from the bite on her thigh ... then groaned a moment later, when she realized that the shock had closed her eyes just long enough for her to miss a rather critical moment. When she looked at the trio before her in the glowstick's dim light, she could see Yue's eyes tightly shut and her mouth wide open as she quivered and shook and silently screamed in what was an obviously explosive orgasm.

"Can you taste her, Negi-sensei? Can you taste our Yue's sweet cum?" Nodoka murmured to him as she licked his chin. "I can taste her on you, so I know that you can. I want it, too. Give it to me. No," she added, just a bit sharply, as Negi began to push Yue's still-convulsing form off of his face. "Not with your mouth. Give it to me with thiiiis." She bit her lip as her hips twisted on him.

"Ah," Negi said, grasping her meaning, as he began to meet her downward strokes by pumping up into her.

"Yesss, that's that's that's - ahh!" Nodoka's voice caught on that single high note as she felt the surge of his release spraying up into her. The flow of warmth triggered her own climax, and she, too, shook atop him for a few long moments.

"Oh, wow," Twilight quietly said, leaning forward and resting on her knees and hands on the stone floor.

When the ecstasy faded, Nodoka wearily pushed herself up and off of him, preparing herself mentally for the next phase of her plan, which would require Negi to be hard once more and so - but her chain of thought was broken as she stared at the member which, while dripping with their combined juices, was still more or less erect. Nodoka blinked, then looked up at Negi's face - visible now that Yue had collapsed off of it.

He gave her an apologetic smile for some reason.

Twilight examined the organ from a prudent distance under the light of her horn. "Um. W-Well, normally, this would be highly unusual, but considering the sort of ... special, unique physical state Professor Springfield has achieved, it should come as no surprise his prowess in this field has increased as well."

Nodoka blinked again, barely paying any attention to her. With a shake of her head, she moved on to the next phase, crawling up to where Yue was still trembling as she lay on the floor above Negi's head. She bent down to kiss Yue's forehead. "How much do you love me, Yue?" she asked, not really expecting a coherent answer.

So she was somewhat shocked when Yue's eyes focused on her. "I love you more than truth," she said.

Nodoka nearly froze as she realized what she'd just been told. Tears began to fall from her eyes. "And I love you," she said. "And I love you... more than books."

_Down below in another level of Library Island, Shiomiya Shiori shuddered, shaken by the strange sensation of a blasphemy suddenly floating through the air._

Far more gently than she'd been planning, Nodoka reached down to spread Yue's hips wide. "Sensei," she said more loudly than she'd been speaking. "Come here and give our Yue what you just gave me."

He looked at her, then looked at Yue ... and with an air of one surrendering, he rolled himself up into a seated position and came over to crouch between Yue's legs, held up and open by Nodoka's firm hands. Without direction, he pushed himself up into her virgin passage, as gently as he could.

"It's good, Yue?" Nodoka asked as he began to move back and forth within her.

"So good!" Yue cried. "I, I -"

"Have what he gave me," Nodoka said, then plopped herself down on Yue's mouth to let the cream deposited within her drip down there. Yue made a groan of deepest pleasure.

"Thank you for this gift, Sensei," Nodoka said, still holding Yue's legs wide as she faced him.

He opened his mouth to reply.

"It is a gift," she said before he could say anything. "It is not the curse you think. We love you, and we always have. No matter what happens, I will never regret being with you like this."

She smiled at him, the sweet smile he loved so much.

Twilight rolled her eyes. "Mmm-hmmm. I wonder whether you might get another interesting gift from him nine months from now."

"Oh, quiet, you," Konoka purred as she reached towards her, her small right hand cupping a breast of Twilight through her shirt, and making her yelp. "Just give it up and join in already, silly!"

"No, that's bestiality, I don't want to ahhhhh!"

"You're incredible, Nodoka," Negi told Nodoka as he pounded into Yue, mostly oblivious to the other side's byplay.

Was it the yobisute and Yue's tongue up inside her that pushed her into her first orgasm? Was it the forbidden thrill of how illicit and steamy was this encounter as a whole? Did the added conflicted screams of Twilight-san as Konoka and Haruna joined forces to grope her from behind, popping her shirt's buttons off, contribute anything to it? Who could say?

"But, but -" Negi began to stammer, as though he'd just lost all the ground that he gained.

"What?" Nodoka asked, pouting a bit.

"I think Yue might be having trouble breathing," he finally whimpered.

Nodoka blinked, as she tried to understand what she'd just been told. Then, with a yelp, she let go of Yue's legs - which obligingly collapsed to land on Negi's hips - and backed up off of her friend's face. Yue, eyes almost glazed over, promptly coughed a bit as her airway cleared.

"Yue!" Nodoka cried. "Why didn't you say something?"

That earned her a pair of incredulous looks, each of slightly different sort.

"Yue, do you want to sto-" Negi began to ask.

Her hands, which had been resting on the floor, reached up towards him. "More," she rasped.

With Nodoka's help, Yue rose up from her supine position to dangle in front of Negi's chest, her hands wrapped around the back of his neck as she rocked back and forth, up and down, kissing him deeply as she did, then turning to kiss Nodoka as the other girl tried to embrace both of them.

"Hnnn," Yue announced. "Cumming. Cumming. AH!" Once again, she silently screamed her release to the ceiling, her vulva tightening around Negi's member and drawing a second ejaculation up into her. "Hahhhhhh," she continued, once she'd calmed down a bit. "I love you," she said, to both of them perhaps.

"And I love you," Nodoka replied, in the same way.

"And I love you too!" declared Haruna as she snapped on a second glow-stick to replace the one that was faltering a bit, revealing that she was stripped totally naked (except for her glasses) and smiling at the three of them in obvious delight while Konoka, with the smile of the very satisfied, turned Twilight around so she was on her back on the floor, shirtless, and moaning throatily. The Konoe heiress, kneeling between the Equestrian girl's legs, tugged down on her bottoms, bringing them around Twilight's knees before her mouth dove into that exotic imported garden of Mundus Magicus delights.

"No you don't," Negi, Yue and Nodoka chorused.

"Just because I'm only saying it to get some action doesn't mean it's completely untrue, you know?" Haruna protested. "There are degrees of this sort of thing. Don't look at me like that. Geez, come on, are you really going to deny me the same joys you've just enjoyed?"

"Yes," said Yue, glaring as she tightened her grip around Negi's neck.

"Oh my goodness, my dear goodness, this is, this is dirtyyyy!" Twilight was shrieking as Konoka's relentless mouth assault continued.

Haruna, who really had to focus on ignoring that for the sake of the bigger prize ahead, closed her eyes and shook her head, with an expression of profound sorrow. "I don't know who taught you to be so selfish."

"It was you," Yue 'explained'.

"But just look at Kono-chan over there! How can you be that selfish with a dear old friend while she's so open with a new one?" Haruna argued, gesturing towards the rich girl and the moaning purple haired beauty caught in her grasp and clawing on the floor.

"That's her own problem," Yue said dryly. A pause. "And Setsuna-san's, I guess."

"Haruna, come on," Nodoka interjected, trying to make some sort of peace. "Negi-sensei can't possibly do that again immediately -"

"Are you kidding?" Konoka said, laughing a bit as she licked some traces of clear fluid from Twilight's now bare mound. "He can go for hours!"

"... thank you for sharing that additional bit of enlightenment, Konoka," Negi said dryly.

"You're welcome!" Konoka beamed before diving back in.

"Reallly," Haruna said, ignoring that bit of byplay. "For hours, you say. I find that somewhat hard to believe, if you'll pardon the pun." She abruptly sat down, perching her chin on her folded hands and her elbows on her knees. "I think I'll need a demonstration. Of course, if nobody wants to demonstrate, I'll be happy to-"

"You just stay where you are!" Yue said hotly. "Nodoka and I will take care of him by ourselves, right, Nodoka?"

"Uh ... right!" said Nodoka, suddenly a bit concerned. Konoka had to be exaggerating when she used hours in the plural like that. She probably just meant an hour and then a bit more of a second hour on top of that, and it'd been, what, probably about half an hour since they started? It couldn't be so difficult as all that.

Right?

* * *

It wasn't that being in that quiet, strangely sunny place felt bad in itself; quite the opposite, as a matter of fact. It was easy to ignore the company of the others since they were as deeply immersed in their own readings as Touko was and thus couldn't bother her anymore. At the very least, that was a point in their favor, Touko guessed. No matter what else could be said about them, they both obviously loved books, and she could respect that. And the whole surroundings were so warm and peaceful, they gave Touko a sense of ethereal peace she had never felt before.

She felt at ease enough, as a matter of fact, to take her shoes and socks off, allowing her aching feet to rest in the quiet clear waters as she sat on a downed, empty shelf next to one of the lagoons, under the shade of a gigantic tree, reading a curious treaty on the nature of romantic writing by one Albert A. Iridia. Quite engrossing, and yet, the fact remained, she felt that wasn't right at all. That place seemed to mess with your mind to the degree you couldn't be sure if you had spent hours or days there, although she leaned towards the former, since none of them felt hungry or sleepy yet. Then again, with so many wonderful books around, who could?

No, that wasn't right, and a tiny voice at the back of her mind, one she dearly hoped wasn't her other self even though she knew well that was the most likely explanation, kept nagging her on it. So she had to say it, any moment now...

"Nod dad I mind bein' shere," she spoke nasally, "Gut when dhu yuh dink dey'll chome shlooking f'r us?"

"Any time now, I'm sure," Diedrich said dismissively, his hook nose deeply buried into a tome on the nature of fear from the 1920s.

"Gut even mah cephone hath no coverage shere," Touko insisted, "An' if Bahkuya-shama doesn'th knowth I'm shere, then who-"

"We'll go back over our steps and look for an exit as soon as we're done here," a distant-sounding Shiori promised, flipping a page of her epic novel _Unequal Hearts, Book One._

Touko stood up and pointed up, way up. "Ghoing gack ovah our shteps? How?! Dudhn't yuh remembah, we FELL shere! Howth in dha world we're shtuposed to climf gack up dere!?"

Diedrich and Shiori gave her twin jaded glares. "There must be an alternative way. They couldn't possibly bring all these shelves and books down that pit trap, as you no doubt can deduce," the man told her. "That's assuming we aren't outdoors here anyway, in which case, we only need to walk until we find civilization."

"Yuh jusht want tuh shtay shere wit' ush innosent yung ladieth tuh take athvantage of our bothies!" Touko accused.

Diedrich and Shiori shared a quiet exasperated stare before returning to completely ignoring her in favor of printed wonders.

Touko stomped a foot down as much as she could. "Damnth thou! Why, ah'm gonna, ah'm gonna-!"

Then the giant armored golem fell into the nearby lagoon, blanketing them all with cold water.

As soon as the wave had passed over her, Shiori worked back to her feet as best as she could, quickly, screaming. "It's back! Oh, God, n-no, it's back!"

"Ghee, dank thou foth de newsh, Shedlock!" Touko growled, nonetheless rushing to scramble for protection behind her.

The golem rose above them, massive weapon firmly between its hands. "YOU SHOULD NOT BE HERE! ANY AND ALL TRESSPASERS WILL BE PUNISHED APPROPIATELY!"

"... mommy!" Shiori squeaked.

Touko gulped aloud, but then, even amidst her panicked tremors, she made a final resolution. Even if things seemed hopeless, even if all odds were against her, even if she was caught by a killer teddy bear in a pointless game of death, even if there was no way out, she would stand defiant to the end! For Byakuya-sama! She would carry her mission for him to the bitter end!

She reached under her sleeves and, trembling like an ill newborn, pulled Syo's scissors out, which quaked between fingers turned into jelly. "Y-Y-Yuh'll never thake me awive! Come fotth, bweast! Foohkawa Thouko thallenges yuh-!"

Then the scissors slipped from her fingers and fell into the wet sand.

Silence.

"... what were you doing with those puny things anyway?" Diedrich asked, quite calmly all things considered. "Surely, you didn't have them on you to cut your hair short."

"I dheally hate yuh," Touko decided.

Then a gigantic metal fist moved towards her faster than she could react, and caught her in a terribly tight grasp.

And everything went black.

* * *

Two and a half hours had passed.

"... I ... hate ... you ..." gasped the seriously dehydrated and utterly exhausted form which had been Ayase Yue, hand-like growths reaching up towards Haruna's form, utterly impotently.

"Aw, don't be silly, Yue," Haruna assured her fondly as she picked up the canteen she'd put on her belt, which she was of course not wearing. "It's not in you to hate anyone. You're much too nice of a person for that. You're mad at me, you're annoyed with me, and of course, you are completely and utterly jealous of me - and really, who can blame you, you poor pettanko, you," she added, doing a stretch to give any hypothetical onlookers a nice long look at her unbound breasts. "And there's probably a certain amount of repressed sexual attraction involved, too. But you don't hate me, and I know that, and you know that I know that."

She paused to take a sip of her water while watching Negi pounding Nodoka, who looked to be right on the verge of unconsciousness as she lay on top of Konoka. The healer had joined the melee about an hour or so ago, and was less worn out than either of the other two. Which was a bit like saying that the Atlantic was less vast than the Pacific, really.

"Would you like some water?" Haruna asked Yue.

"... yes ..." the dehydrated girl said, very quietly.

"What's the magic word?"

"... please ..." Yue ground out, eyes burning with the fury of a thousand suns.

Cheerfully, Haruna put the canteen in one of Yue's hands, and watched as it was brought to her mouth. "Don't drink too much too fast, or you'll get sick. Sicker, I guess," she amended helpfully.

"I am going to get you for this," Yue told her, once she'd finished drinking.

"Sure you are," Haruna 'agreed'.

"No, really I am. And you will never see it coming, and you will never be able to prove it was me. 'A wrong is unredressed when retribution overtakes its redresser," she quoted, just as Nodoka let out a wail which suggested she'd achieved yet another orgasm.

"That's not someone you should be using as a role model, Yue-Yue," Haruna assured her, patting her gently and oh so patronizingly on the head. "Oh dear, Nodoka seems to have collapsed. Hey, Konoka, is she -"

"She's just asleep," Konoka assured them in a voice which was pretty sleepy in and of itself, as she looked over Nodoka while Negi sat back and panted a bit heavily, with his erection still not subsiding.

"Oh well, then," Haruna said with utterly insincere regret as she rose to her feet. "I guess the task of rocking Negi-kun's world has been left to this humble and unworthy person." She smiled in a way that humble and unworthy people probably shouldn't smile. "Now, then -"

"No," eerily declared a voice that had been strangely quiet over the last half hour, long after said voice's owner had stopped gasping and gawking about every carnal combination unfolding before her. Ever since Haruna and Konoka had finally stopped touching her everywhere, she had only sat there, watching in a motionless stupor. Haruna was reminded of that person's existence as she looked back towards her. Twilight Sparkle seethed, hairs sticking out from several different angles of her head, coupled with bright eyes that conveyed an overall 'gone far fucking over the edge' feeling about her.

It all made even Haruna wary about her. "Umm ... excuse me?" she said. "I haven't heard you protesting about what they've been doing, so why do I get the -"

"Then you haven't been listening enough!" the naked pony-turned-human stomped towards her, poking a finger against Haruna's left breast, over and over. "You've been doing this on purpose to try and torture me, haven't you? Why are you doing this? What have I ever done to you?!"

Konoka blinked. "Wasn't ... wasn't the sex any good?"

"Yes, it was!" Twilight turned to her, gesturing with her hands in a desperate fashion. "It was _very_ good! That's what made it so bad!"

"... you lost me," admitted Negi.

"It's bad, because bestiality shouldn't feel that good!" Twilight wailed.

"... oh," Negi said.

"So we are 'beasts' now," Haruna folded her arms under her breasts and rolled her eyes.

"That, that wasn't what I -" Twillight babbled, then pulled on her hair. "Aaagghhh! It doesn't matter if you're the beasts or I'm the beast or we all are, it's still bestiality, and yet you made me like it, and that's why it's all so bad, and that's why you've been torturing me and now Princess Celestia won't love me anymore!"

Nodoka snorted, rolled in her sleep, and made a vague gesture of asking for silence with a hand as Twilight descended into melodramatic sobs.

"Awwww," Konoka cooed, patting the Equestrian on a shoulder, "Poor Twilight-san! No one is a beast here, not you, not us, not -"

Yue opened her mouth.

"- **not** even Haruna!" Konoka remarked before Yue could speak her piece. "We are all just beings looking to be loved and to give our love away! Our outside differences don't count! We're all the same in our hearts, and that's what truly matters!"

Yue felt tempted to ask, then, if Konoka would have been just as willing to have sex with Twilight's true form, but after a split second of consideration, she decided she dreaded the likely answer just too much.

Twilight cut her helpless sobs to breathe deeply and nod. "Thank you. You're depraved, but nice."

"Thank you!" Konoka beamed a very honest and pure smile.

There were a few beats of silence during which Negi shifted his legs around uncomfortably, trying to hide his erection at the way Konoka had started feeling Twilight up again.

"Ummm, well, yeah, nice to see we've sorted that out," Haruna began moving towards Negi again. "Now, as I was saying..."

"So, going to give Negi-kun a ride now?" Konoka sharply asked Twilight.

Twilight nodded.

"Eeeeehhhhh?!" Negi cried.

Twilight turned teary angry eyes on him. "You've been doing it to me, too! Flaunting that, that thing you've got, and doing those, those things before me without thinking twice about it, as if I were some animal who won't care!"

Negi backed away on his butt, genuinely scared by that reaction. "I have? I mean, of course I have! S-Sorry, it's all my fault, because I've been crass, and rude, and an immoral and indecent person, and I haven't considered a beautiful young lady's feelings!"

Twilight stood there, dumbfounded, as red crept all the way up to the base of her horn. _"Beautiful?"_ she asked timidly. Then she exploded again. "Argh, see, you're doing it again, provoking me with your strange charms that shouldn't work on me and your thing that isn't even that big!"

"Chisame-chan calls it 'sneaky natural gigolo talk'," Haruna supplied.

"That Chisame-chan is a wise person, then!" Twilight yelled at her.

"What are you yelling at me over that!"

"I don't know! I mean, I know why I'm mad at you in general, but on that particular point, I just kept yelling! **SORRY!"**

**"APOLOGY ACCEPTED!"**

**"THANKS!"**

Negi shrank back, although, much to his annoyance, that part of himself he wanted to see shrinking was, if anything, growing even stiffer. Did he really enjoy having women yell at him and around him that much? A truly troubling thought, and -

Walking rigidly to stand over him, Twilight looked down at him with a mad glint in her eyes, and a disturbing smile. "Ehhhehehehehe, hehehe, I'm not afraid, no, I'm not, I'm not ..."

"If you're afraid, you should let me-" Haruna began.

"Statute 70 of the Club's rulebook on the subject of guided visitors states all guests, especially ambassadors of good will, are to be allowed access to the services offered by the library, should they show interest on them, before we are," Yue told her, grabbing her by an arm. "Stand back, Haruna."

Paru gave her an exasperated look. "Are you kidding? You can't be willing to let her go before me just to spite me, not when she isn't -"

"Rules are rules, Haruna."

Haruna sat at her side, grumbling. "This is only a momentary pyrrhic victory for you, and you know it!"

"As I've just shown through the last two hours, I'll take whatever I can get," Yue said.

Negi gulped. "I'm not sure this can be counted as a service offered by the library. It certainly can't be said to be a regular ... ohhhh God!" he gasped when Twilight angrily pushed herself down on him, impaling herself into his shaft after two quick, rough attempts.

She made a sound that only can be called that of a horse in pain.

Haruna would never forget that sound. No matter how much she tried.

"Oh God!" Negi freaked out. "I knew it! I knew I'd end up hurting you! Okay, this is officially over and done, before-"

Twilight pushed her hands against his hard chest, clenching her teeth as she rubbed herself against him,, blood leaking out of where he was going deeper into her. "N-No ... not after going this far..."

"But-!" he moaned, struggling not to lose himself into the sensation of how tight and warm she was.

"An, an Elements of Harmony bearer doesn't go back on her ... ahhhh ..." Twilight drooled as she felt Haruna pressing up behind her, with one of her hands caressing the crack between her buttocks (one of them, Haruna noticed with a hint of amusement, was still adorned with Twilight's Cutie Mark) and the other massaging the point where Negi's member entered Twilight. At the same time, the busty mangaka used her mouth to please Twilight's right teat, her teeth grazing the aureola and nipple. "Nnnhh, no, not like that, not there, iiiit's ..."

Haruna chuckled dryly, never stopping fingering the edges of Twilight's narrow back entrance. Her opposite hand kept rubbing vigorously the bottom of Negi's shaft as it pumped into the other girl; her breasts mashed and rubbed against Twilight's back, up and down. She said something that came out sloppy and incomprehensible between wet slurps of Twilight's modestly sized breast, finishing with a barely understandable "Hurts less now?"

"Yes ... th-thank you," I guess," Twilight bit on her lower lip nervously, warily responding to Negi's thrusts with motions of her own hips. "Mmm, I, I can't get, get pregnant because of this, right?"

"How should I know?" Haruna asked, as she planted a trail of kisses down Twilight's body. "At least, I'd say your chances are far lower than Yuecchi and Nodo-chin's ..."

"It's a safe day for me, at least," Yue said quietly, placing herself at Twilight's other side to start petting the chest Haruna had left unattended. When Negi leveled an odd stare at her, Yue shrugged, "If you can't defeat them, join them."

"Finally, progress," Haruna taunted before her mouth reached the point where her teacher's crotch met Twilight's, and then opened her mouth as wide as it would go, taking Negi's ballsack into her mouth, and starting licking and suckling on the testicles. "Mmmmmrrrpphhh, twashty ... sshweat an' sweet gwirl jhuishe ..." she obscenely said as best as she could.

"Oh, dear Heavens!" Negi shouted, spasming after several moments of that treament, holding Twilight's shoulders and keeping her steady as he shot three thick loads of white into her.

"Anh!" Twilight arched her back, Haruna's fingers and Yue's mouth and hands working together with that alien sensation of being inseminated to push her into her strongest orgasm of the evening. She plummeted against Negi's chest shaking violently, and after a few seconds of reacting with nothing but silent shock, he wrapped his arms around her and held her close, comforting her with his mere presence and contact.

"I'm sorry," he finally whispered.

"No, no, I'm ..." she began to say, then shook her head. "Oh, well, actually, no, not yet. I'm sure I will be upset, when this biochemical rush passes on, but... in the meanwhile, at least, thank you. That felt... good." There was a short concerned pause. "It was good for you too, wasn't it?"

"Oh, yes, of course it was! A lot!" he quickly replied. Yue pouted at that, but chose not to say anything yet.

Twilight smiled. "That's ... nice to hear. You know ... I bet Pinkie Pie would really like this, too."

"Ehhh?" Negi babbled.

Twilight chuckled shyly, poking a finger in circles on his chest. "One of my best friends, you know. She's always trying new crazy things to do. Maybe Applejack and Rainbow Dash as well, since they like all sorts of demanding physical activity."

Negi blinked. "I'm sure you're trying to lighten the mood and nothing more, but still -"

"And Rarity always has dreamed of being with a strong, chivalrous prince, and Fluttershy, I'm sure, has her repressed wilder side," she continued, cheeks flaring pink.

Negi gulped very loudly. "Eh heh heh, well, that's a funny joke, and nice payback for all you had to endure here, I'm sure, but even so -"

"Wow, you ponies all have porn star names, don't you?" Haruna wondered aloud, gently setting Twilight aside. "Moving past that, I see you still have some steam left, Negi-kun, so it's time to -"

"Um, Haruna?" Konoka interjected. "We're on our last glowstick."

Haruna blinked. "We don't have any more glowsticks?"

"We've used them alllll up."

"Well, so what?" Haruna groaned. "She still has that glowing horn, so it's not like -" Then she realized the glowing unicorn horn she was pointing at had just that moment turned itself off and retreated back into Twilight Sparkle's forehead.

Twilight shrugged sheepishly. "My apologies. _Somepony_ here kept me _physically active_ for hours, so I'm exhausted enough to put my magical energies into standby."

"Um ... can we turn the vault's lights on?" Haruna muttered.

"Sure, if you don't mind ruining a few hundred thousand dollars worth of light-sensitive documents," Konoka said without a hint of sarcasm.

"Hum. Well. I suppose that we don't technically need the lights to -" Haruna began to say, only to be interrupted by sinister laughter.

Said laughter was emanating from Yue. "Working in the dark? I believe that's utterly contrary to any of the regulations of the Library Exploration Club," she said, turning that last phrase into a song lyric.

Twilight nodded. "That would be a crime against the purity of a library," she added without hesitation.

"Well, then we can leave this vault and move to a-" Haruna argued.

"When there's an unconscious party member, you should return to the surface as soon as possible, unless the mission's agenda requires otherwise, according to the regulations of the-" Yue countered.

"- you suck, Yue," Haruna informed her.

"Yes I did," Yue agreed malevolently. "It was great!"

"Yes it was," Haruna taunted right back, somewhat spoiling Yue's malicious glee.

"Oookay, then," said Konoka, crawling over to where she'd left her clothes to start getting dressed. "I guess we're done for the evening. This was fun, don't you think?"

"Your time will come, Negi-kun!" Haruna promised threateningly.

"So will yours," Yue replied.

"You're really very strange friends," Twilight considered.

"... not like that, _use_ the macaroni ..." muttered Nodoka.

"I'm the worst teacher AND government liaison ever," Negi muttered.

Twilight patted his shoulder. "If it's any consolation, you just made me look at humans in a completely different new light."

"Ummm ... thank you?"

"You're welcome!"

"More fun than some people should be allowed to have," Konoka said, by now dressed, as she headed over to put some clothes on Nodoka so that the group could start to make their way out of the depths of Library Island.

* * *

As they exited through the main entryway, Konoka (carrying Nodoka in a fireman's carry) paused momentarily while they passed a group of younger library explorers, gathered in a circle around something or someone on the grass, right outside the library doors. Her attention, under other circumstances, would have been, not on them, but rather on the library complex itself. However, due to this twist of fate, she stared at them instead, with an odd look on her face.

"Is something the matter?" asked Yue, who was walking unsteadily but managing to walk nonetheless.

"Um... Just take a look for yourself," Konoka pointed faintly towards the other group. Negi picked up on it and walked towards them, the students letting him pass to look at Fukawa Touko, Shiomiya Shiori and Irving Diedrich, all of whom lay on a crumpled heap, trembling violently and soaking wet.

"Sempai!" Konoka gasped, rushing towards Shiori. "Are you, are you okay?"

Shiori looked up at her with huge haunted eyes. "Those huge hands ... that gigantic body ... we never stood a chance ..."

Diedrich gnawed on one of his sleeves, with the air of a highly disturbed individual. "The Bat won't eat me, the Clown won't get me, the big bad bully won't find me ... No, Grandmother, no, I'll be a good boy!"

Touko whined, Diedrich's pet crow perched on her head and crawing happily. "Ah bwoke mah nhosze, all fecause off ffou. Ah dfemand wetwibution! Anw a nuwse!"

Haruna cocked a fist on a hip, eyebrow lifted high. "Oh my, oh my, what do we have here! Is this a sign of improper behavior between teacher and students, out in the open? What's this school coming to!?"

Negi shot her a flat stare. "Haruna-san, please."

Haruna only smirked cockily.

"N-N-No, no, it wasn't anything like that!" Shiori denied quickly. "I was just, it's my fault, I led them inside, into the secret chambers, and I thought I was doing okay, but then I triggered a trap! And we fell, and fell, and there was this armored giant, who chased us around, and we nearly died, and then he grabbed us, and next thing we know is we're being tossed out, and oh dear God you don't believe me, who could!"

"Actually, I believe you wholeheartedly," Yue said dryly.

Haruna wagged a disapproving finger. "Tsk, tsk, Sempai, you disappoint me! You should know you never should take others with you down there without one of us! And why were you going after us anyway?" she took a hand to her own chest. "Could it be ... that you didn't trust us?! That you called a teacher on us?!"

Shiori panicked even more. "Uwa! Uwa! No! No, it wasn't anything like that, it's just, you see!"

Diedrich, as he was helped back up by Negi, recovered enough presence of mind to reply. "She was taking us to ... some chambers where we had overheard ancient books to be categorized and properly preserved could be found. Honestly, this library's conservation system leaves a lot to be desired! Priceless tomes are kept without protective casings in old, dusty vaults more fitting Arkh- old Spanish Inquisition holding cells!"

"Riiiight," Haruna said.

Konoka examined the scowling Touko's nose. "Oh dear, it was very badly broken, Sempai. It's a shame I don't have magical powers that could fix it back easily, or else, believe me, I would gladly do it!"

Touko only grunted and batted Konoka's caring hand aside.

"By the way," Haruna told the other bespectacled girl, "I think that crow just crapped on your head."

Touko blinked, felt herself on the scalp without thinking of it, and then let loose a piercing shriek.

Twilight cringed and covered her ears.

* * *

So she had been forced to take a bath as soon as she got back home, which she intensely disliked, especially so shortly after falling into those cold waters of ... wherever they had been during those lost hours. Worst of it all, she hadn't been able to keep a single of those wonderful books she had found down there. No, even worse than that was the fact she hadn't even finished the last one, and she wasn't familiar with its author. Something told her even an Internet search wouldn't be of much help ...

No, on third thought, the worst part of it were Enoshima's usual taunts that had started as soon as her roommate had seen her coming through the door. Blocking the model's irritating prattle as best as she could, Toukawa took her shower, cleaned and fixed her hair to the best of her capacities, and then walked out (continuing to block out the terribly tasteless comments) until she found a private enough place to place a call.

"Bahkooya-shtama? It'h me. Ah fwowowed th' Shtpringfield ghuy ath you shaid, but-"

_"What? What are you saying?"_ he asked from the other end of the call.

She sighed. "Ah bwoke mah noshe duwing dat, nod dat I'm cuompaining, bhut th' gad ding is, I lofft twack of him, and I-"

_"Why are you talking like that? Are you trying to joke with me, or something like that?"_

She made an intense sound of terror. "Bahkooya-shama! Why, why, why, ah'd neweh! Ahm' tewwing yuh, mah nhose ith bwoken, it huwts ewewy time I shtpeak, and-"

Somehow, he seemed to understand her now. _"Then why didn't you just text me?!"_ he groaned curtly. She closed her eyes and let a pained whimper out.

_Because if I texted you, I couldn't listen to your voice. And I couldn't talk to you either._

She wiped a furtive tear out of a corner of her eye.

And then tightened a fist, and screamed her pent up rage.

"DITH ITH ALL YUHR FAULT, SWTUPID SHEXY NAWI SPWINGFWIED! I SHWEAR YUH'LL PAY FOW DIS!"

_"... look, we'll talk again tomorrow,"_ Togami told her, and cut the call.

* * *

_The Resort:_

"Lady Khaleesi, may I ask a favor from you?" Celestia's apprentice asked timidly.

The platinum blonde looked at her from where she had been sitting on the edge of her bed, going through her lent books of magical theory and especially the passages Professor Springfield had underlined. She was enough of a quick learner to start realizing how those would figure into his plans relatively soon. "You certainly may. But I cannot make certain promises of fulfillment on my part until I have learned the nature of that favor, of course."

"Of ... of course," Twilight, who was now back to her alicorn form for the time being, used a fore leg to rub herself on the other, awkwardly. "Um ... do your dragon-related abilities include those of sending written messages, like my friend Spike can do?"

A thick yet feminine eyebrow was raised.

* * *

"Oh my," Celestia said, after reading the letter out loud to her current companion. "I think she may have had sex with some of the humans. What a surprise! I hope no one was hurt. Still, it's nice to see her coming to appreciate some of the same things I do, wouldn't you say?"

"I fucking hate everything in all of existence," said Cersei Lannister as she shifted in her bindings.

"I know, but we're working on that."

* * *

**To be Continued in the Next Chapter!**


	6. Kotaro, Shiro, Saber, Rin, Sakura, Rider

Akamatsu, Takahashi, Nasu, others own these things. Please don't sue.

Don't read this if you're underage. Go play _Disney Infinity_ or something instead.

I'm so poor, I'm obviously not making money out of this. If I had money I'd be spending it on 3D girls.

* * *

**Chapter Six.**

* * *

"That Springfield guy? What about him?" asked Saotome Ranma between lazy mouthfuls of his lunch, legs crossed and resting against a tree as he sat with his back against one of its branches. Often, Hiroshi and Daisuke suspected he only took those weird positions during their breaks to boast of how flexible and in great shape he was.

The black haired Daisuke snorted. "C'mon, Saotome! I know you really have it in for this Fate guy, but don't let that distract you from how much worse Springfield is! At least Fate-sensei doesn't room with girls!" he seethed enviously.

Ranma rolled his eyes, tapping his feet on the trunk. "So what? The girls say it all the time, he's gay, and a waste or something because of that, and -"

"Gay my butt!" the fair-haired Hiroshi protested, not realizing how weirdly Daisuke stared at him over that. "That's only an act, I'm sure! Sure, he spends an awful lot of time around Fate-sensei and his older brother and that other black haired dude ... but none of them have any of the mannerisms, and before you tell me not all gays are like that, HANAGATA said he couldn't feel he was gay!"

Ranma gave him a clueless look. "... and what would he know about that?"

There was a short silent pause.

"Ranma," Daisuke told him, "Hanagata is gay himself."

"Really?"

"Really!" Daisuke grunted. "Everyone knows of the three-foot long torch he's carrying for Mamiya!"

"Seriously? I never noticed," Ranma went back to his lunch, carelessly. "Meh, what do I care anyway?"

"He lives near your sister!" Hiroshi reminded him.

"Haru-chan knows how to look after herself."

"I can't freaking believe it! You, who snap into red alarm as soon as anyone looks at Akane the wrong way, aren't worried about your own flesh and blood sister!" Daisuke seemed honestly appalled.

Ranma shrugged. "Unlike my sister, Bakane can't really look after herself -"

**"YOU IDIOT!"**

Right then, a zooming voleyball from the girls' open air court slammed in his face, sending him flying across the yard. Sighing, Daisuke picked the ball up and tossed it back. "Good one, Akane-san." Then he looked back at Ranma, putting his hands into his pockets. "Aren't you going to do anything, then? Even the Suzumiya weirdo thinks there's something fishy there, and even though her paranoia usually is only that, now we're starting to wonder."

"About what?" Ranma asked, already back up and looking none the worse to wear, dusting his monster sandwich off before munching on it again. "What do you expect me to do? I'm not a freaking bully, if the guy doesn't actually do anything wrong first, I can't just jump on him and pummel the crap out of him."

"Look, at least come with us after hours," Hiroshi asked him. "Taniguchi-sempai called for a Bro Campus Meeting to deal with this, figure out what to do, I don't know, anything!"

"I'm not threatened in my masculinity," Ranma confidently said, waving a hand. "If the girls are stupid enough to swoon over this guy, that's their own problem, not mine." He easily ducked under the next volleyball tossed his way, only to catch a bucket thrown at his face at the same time. After a short cringe of pain, he asked, "'Bro Meeeting', huh? That means there'll be no girls there, right?"

"That's the idea," Hiroshi nodded.

Ranma sighed. "Then count me in."

* * *

"Such misfortune," Kamijou Touma muttered in a lifeless tone as he sat in the crampled apartment along with the other boys, all of them cramped together at the living room, and most of them looking quite unhappy.

Katsuragi Keima sat at his right, completely immersed in the galge he was playing on his PFP. At his left, Ranma groaned and facepalmed. Hiroshi and Daisuke chattered nervously with Taniguchi and Kunikida. Kyon eyed everyone else with obvious mistrust, while Itsuki sat with a studied smile and his hands on his knees. Yuuki Rito was calling his sister to tell her he'd be late that evening, with a somber air of resignation about him. Sagara Sousuke sat completely stoic and silent, while Hirano Kohta and Naegi Makoto chatted with each other, trying to make some sense out of the situation. Itou Makoto antsily looked all around his surroundings, ignoring Saruyama Kenichi's attempts to make small talk with him. Komuro Takashi was simply napping at a corner, arms folded. Harima Kenji frowned, looking on the verge of punching someone in the face, so the others kept a prudent distance from him. Takasu Ryuuji and Hasegawa Kodaka eyed each other suspiciously, while Emiya Shirou walked around as best as he could, distributing tea and snacks. Tate Yuuichi looked out through a window with a deep air of concern.

Standing between them and the coveted door, Suzuhara Touji kept his arms folded and nodded. "Alright, I think we're good now. Secretary?" he snapped his fingers for the scrawny, smaller boy with glasses at his left.

Aida Kensuke sighed and turned his camera on. "I'm sure someone will use this as evidence against us at some point."

_"I won't run away, I won't run away, I won't run away_," Ikari Shinji whispered to himself from the other side of Touji.

Touji clapped twice. "Okay, if I can have your attention, guys! Do y'all know why are we here today, don'tcha?"

"Where is here?" Keima blandly asked, even though he still looked more interested in his game.

"My room," Naegi said sheepishly. "Now, I'd really like to know why you'd started pouring in here, often dragging each other in, please."

"You have the best room in this building," Suzuhara told him matter-of-factly. "The cleanest, too!"

"Well, thanks, but what I meant was -"

"Fellow proud males! Brothers in arms! Comrades!" Taniguchi stepped before Touji, blocking him from the audience's sight, and taking over his explanation preemptively. "You all know what brings us together here, in this hour of uncertainty and need!"

"Um, I just said I didn't know, so -" Naegi began.

"I'm here only because one of you tucked me under his arm and carried me here," the light and skinny Katsuragi huffed, eyes nailed on the small screen. "Whoever that was, he was lucky I was in the middle of a real time event, or else I'd have gotten a look at him and reported him to the Principal's office for kidnapping."

Taniguchi sweated a big fat drop, his earlier impetus blown out of him. "Um... yeah, well, we're here to discuss what to do on the subject of a dirty oddball playboy amongst us -"

"Haven't we gone through this before?" asked Naegi. "Kuno-sempai is mostly harmless as long as you humor him."

Touji shot him a killer glare as he pushed Taniguchi back aside. "Sempai, we're talking about that creep who moved in with the girls. The Springfield brat's older brother or cousin, or whatever the hell he is!"

"Oh, is that it?" asked Shirou in the middle of sitting down. "There should be no problems with that! He's, ah, well -"

"Gay," Tate shrugged, arms now folded.

"And the proof of that is?" asked Saruyama.

"He told my whole club himself," informed Hasegawa. "C'mon, guys, surely no man with some self-respect would out himself as gay if he wasn't gay, would he?"

"For the sake of a cover story? I would do it!" Saruyama argued.

A moment later, everyone was looking at him. All but Katsuragi, that is.

"Wh-What? Eyes on the prize, men, eyes on the prize!" Saruyama protested. "That's a small sacrifice to pay for the sake of living in a building with nothing but smoking hot girls!"

"Then I'm gay," Hirano quickly said.

"You realize we're recording this, aren't you?" Aida asked him.

"!" Hirano added.

Touji waved a hand. "Oh, it's not like you have any social life to hurt with that anyway. Now, before you continue arguing on this subject, let me tell you we have solid evidence that this Springfield guy, who's supposed to be a teacher but never teaches anything, is actually a player who always surrounds himself with girls and even locks himself up with them for FUCKING HOURS!" He gestured with both hands to emphasize that.

The gazes now drifted towards Aida.

"... not me this time, fellas," Kensuke grunted. "It's, um, him." He pointed towards someone who stood at some distance from him, in a previously completely ignored spot of the room.

There stood a grinning, skeletally thin boy with scarce black hair and glasses, holding a photo camera in a hand and a stack of pictures in the other.

"... who are you?" Naegi echoed the general feeling, making the unknown boy facefault.

A second later, Baldy sprang back to his feet. "USUI KAGERO! I'm Usui Kagero, Class Rep for Itoshiki-sensei's homeroom!"

"Oh, 3-F?" Naegi asked.

"I thought Despair-sensei only taught girls," observed Itou.

"Are you sure you aren't with Springfield? Because I've never seen you ever before!" Saruyama told him.

"I'M YOUR NEXT DOOR NEIGHBOR!" barked Usui.

"... really? I thought that room had been empty for years."

Usui took a hand to his shiny head barely covered by pathetic strands of black and made a string of frustrated, nearly animalistic sounds.

* * *

'Nagi', 'Kojiro', 'Fates', Konoemon, Eishun and Daenerys all stood before the wide entrance of the Tokyo Lex Corp Tower, fresh from a train trip, quite early in the morning.

"Shaped like an L. Really," Kotaro snorted, shaking his head to himself. "What kind of egomaniac not only names his company after himself, but also builds his towers after the first letter of his own name?"

"Please, Kojiro-kun. Show some respect for our benefactor. Actually, Mr. Luthor's business enterprises used to operate under the name 'Luthor Corp'," Negi reasonably lectured as they marched in through the security detectors. "But after his parents' deaths, he re-branded the company, claiming the new name was faster and catchier to pronounce, and thus more marketable."

"I see no valid reason against it," Fate opined as the high tech scanners took intensive readings of his body and what there was on him. "After all, business are another venue of war, and in war, it's always important to keep your enemies reminded of who you are, and the power you yield."

"Everything is war for you," Kotaro muttered.

"True. And everything is only short-range, petty confrontation for you," Fate calmly shot back.

"Boys, please," Konoemon rasped while they made their way towards the elevators, escorted by a small team of security guards. Those stayed outside as the six entered the elevator to the penthouse offices. "Remember, unity. Unity, no matter what. We cannot show disagreements or divisions between us as long as we are here. We are all working towards the same goal here, something that is far greater than the sum of us."

"Yes, Sir," Kotaro grumbled humbly as Fate only nodded shortly.

"Good," Konoemon then looked at Negi. "They aren't hearing anything of what we are saying here, are they?"

"No, Sensei," Negi said, keeping a Pactio card pressed against his forehead. "Chisame has hacked into their surveillance system, and they are only looking at us standing in silence."

"That's good to hear, too," Konoemon nodded, choosing to inquire later about the sudden use of yobisute towards Hasegawa-kun. So did Fate, although his face had become unusually tense.

"And we all also know what to do if they ambush us, right?" Kotaro asked, flexing his fingers in and out.

Everyone else nodded.

"Although ... it's almost ridiculous, walking into negotiations of peace while preparing ourselves for a counter-attack."

Kotaro stared at him. "Excuse me? _You_ of all people scoffing against the idea of being prepared for everything?"

Negi sighed. "It isn't like I'm against it, of course, it's only ... it doesn't feel right, going in with words of peace and union in our mouths while being ready to strike them down just in case."

Kotaro pointed a thumb towards Fate. "Remember what happened last time you went to have words of peace with a shady guy while expecting for the best from him?"

"I do," Fate quietly replied, hands in his pockets, only the thumbs sticking out. "Said unnamed 'shady guy', who, incidentally, had worked with another unnamed 'shady guy' in the past, almost won. If not because of Kagurazaka-san. So the 'nice, good guy' had better grow accustomed to handling these situations in the future without her."

Now it was Negi himself who was staring harshly at him.

Fate paused, seeming genuinely puzzled. "Did I say something-"

"Yes, you did," Negi replied dryly, but then the elevator's doors went open before anything else could be said. And Negi walked out before anyone else, without walking back. A tall athletic woman in a bodyguard's gray and black uniform bowed for him and pressed a button on the nearest wall, and the doors to Lex Luthor's Japanese sanctum sanctorum opened themselves.

* * *

"I wasn't aware I had a chalkboard," Naegi faintly said, as Touji finished his rather crude yet disturbingly complicated diagram of _'Likely Outcomes of the Welsh Invasion'_ on said chalkboard, which Naegi was fairly sure no one had brought in through his door.

"So, as you can see -" Suzuhara tapped on the graphic with his chunk of chalk, making especially sure those who had arrived as he drew were taking notice. "- if we don't put our foot down an' stop this and quick, this ... perverted beast will become a menace to every pretty girl on campus! You've looked at Baldy's pics!" He slammed a hand on the collection of photos on display next to the chalkboard. "You've seen how many girls he's been hanging around for the last few days, and he just arrived! Within a month, he'll be unstoppable!"

"... baldy!?" Usui squeaked pitifully.

Kosaka Kyosuke looked up and down at the pictures, tightly stuffed as he was between Sawanaga Taisuke and Ashikaga Yuki, the latter of whom seemed to be using the oblivious Kyosuke as his meat shield from the former. "I don't get it. None of these pics show him kissing or hugging or even holding hands with those girls. They're only walking around and talking. Besides, isn't that guy gay?"

"WROOOOOOOONG!" Touji shouted.

_Lex Luthor rubbed his nose. "Excuse me, please," he told the group as they took their seats around the conference table. "It seems my private flight here overdid the air conditioner."_

"Yeah, come on, Suzuhara," Naegi, always the optimist, insisted. "Aren't you making a mountain out of an molehill?"

Touji sneered. "For shame, Sempai! Don't you have a little sister to worry about? Just like you, Saotome, and you, Yuuki, and you, Katsuragi, and Kosaka!"

Kyosuke rolled his eyes. "You mean, it's more like I'd have to worry about that poor guy if Kirino got her hands on him."

"And you, Itou, and Kyon-sempai, and Hasegawa-sempai, and of course me!" Suzuhara kept on ranting.

"Whoa, whoa, wait a sec!" Itou requested. "Those sisters, I get it, but my sister's a little kid!"

Touji gave him a bland, jaded glare. "Oi, Sempai. How naive can you be anyway? And with the player of a father you have!"

"That isn't exactly the word I'd use to describe him," Itou muttered.

"Piece of shit?" Ranma offered.

"Those are three words, but yeah, those fit," Itou nodded.

"Distant jerkass?" Ikari offered.

"Oh, those too, definitely," Itou allowed.

The three of them shared stares before doing a three way Bro Fist.

"... yeah, well, anyway," Taniguchi snatched the chalk in mid-flight as a stone faced Suzuhara flipped it in the air waiting for the cycle of mutual self-pity to end. Then he took over again. "I'd say no female is safe as a chronic pervert roams around us free!"

"Don't worry, none of us will denounce you," Ichijou Raku deadpanned, making Maiko Shuu break into hysterical laughter.

"I'm fucking serious!" Taniguchi snarled. "You of all people, a Yakuza with a smoking hot lovey-dovey girlfiend, should be jealous, I mean zealous, in this situation!"

"Jealous over a violent gor-" When Shuu discreetly elbowed him in the stomach, Raku suddenly shifted gears. "I mean, I'd never distrust my lovely girlfriend! I have my full trust on her undying love for me! Eh he he heh!"

Keima finally looked up from his galge. THAT made everyone take notice.

"You're a liar," he icily told Raku.

"... bweh?" Raku eloquently said.

Keima returned to his game, face obscured. "I can see all your flags."

"What's he talking about?" asked a confused Hirano.

"Ignore the geek," Owada Mondo grunted. "He doesn't know anything at all about real women or the real men who love them."

Yamada Hifumi huffed, adjusting the tiny glasses on his huge greasy face. "Hey, there now! I shan't permit you to disparage a fellow conosseur of the wonders of 2D -"

Mondo towered over him. "You won't let me WHAT, lardass?!"

"Don't fight, don't fight!" Shirou, Naegi and Mizuhara Makoto chorused, while Kyon and Mamiya Otaru facepalmed, and Matou Shinji kept rocking back and forth at his corner of woe, whispering about Mean Slutty Imouto-chan.

"Anyway," Keima said, still as calm as before, stopping Mondo from pummeling the massive ball of fat he had just lifted up. "If you're that interested in smoking a sex offender out, you can't confront him directly, or rat him out to unresponsive authorities. You need to use a 'honey trap'. That's the way it always is ... in games!"

The jam-packed room fell eerily silent after that.

Kyon broke the silence. "That's ... stupid."

Kodaka nodded. "Yeah ... completely stupid!"

"Yep," Taniguchi opined. "So utterly stupid ..."

"... it might just work!" Shuu smiled, with a playful glint in his eyes.

"Whaaaaat? NO!" Kyon, Kodaka, Rito, Mizuhara, Raku and Naegi shouted all at once. But by then hotter heads were prevailing.

"Question. Honey traps are usually effective only against jungle animals to hunt for meat and skin," Sagara Sousuke finally spoke, holding a hand up in a martial manner. "How would help one help us locate and eliminate a sex convict? I propose a search, stealth capture, torture and questioning strategy instead."

"Don't be stupid! That only would lead to a Bad End!" Katsuragi shouted. Ikari cringed. So he was related to Misato, after all.

Shuu rubbed his chin. "Yes, the Honey Trap could work! There's nothing like a woman, a cute, frail, harmless female in the spring of her youth, to lure a sex fiend and catch him red handed!"

"You must be kidding," Aono Tsukune said.

"No, he's right!" Touji slammed his hands together. "All we need is to find a brave woman willing to help us!"

"Are you fucking nuts? No sane woman would ever help us with that!" Harima yelled at him.

"To be fair, that still leaves like half the girls here," Ranma snorted.

"Then how about someone who can pass as a girl?" Taisuke proposed, and Yuki immediately started shivering. "Someone who would look convincing in drag!"

All looks turned to Ranma, who flipped them the bird. "Over my dead body!"

"But you're so good at it!" Aida told him, discreetly sniffling back some streaming blood.

"That's not cross-dressing, for the last time, damn it!" Ranma howled.

"Then what it is -?" Saruyama asked him.

Before the question could be answered, Taisuke asked deviously, "How about Yuki here?"

Rito immediately leapt back. "Not me! That was my cousin Riko, and I look nothing at all like her!"

The others stared at him. All but Keima, naturally.

"What are you babbling about?" Saruyama asked him. "Of course you don't look at all like Riko-chan! I should beat you up for that! You'd make a hideous woman."

"... I would, wouldn't I?" Rito eased back, with a clumsy chuckle. Nods abounded.

"I said 'Yuki', not 'Yuuki'. Clean those damn ears of you sometime," Taisuke said, then turned a creepy smirk towards the small, gulping Yuki. Most of the others followed his gaze.

"Now that you mention it," Shuu said, "he even looks like a girlier Negi-sensei, and as we all know, perverts and degenerates often lust after their own families."

Kyosuke sweatdropped, but thankfully no one was looking at him. (Some of them were looking at Itou, but his reaction was more subdued.)

Yuki gulped and backed away pitifully as several larger shadows loomed over him. "The cutest one, the cutest one, the cutest boy we could ever find ..." they chanted ominously.

He began weeping. "NOOOOOOOOOO!"

To their credit, Naegi, Rito, Mizuhara, Raku, Kyon, Kodaka and Ryuuji all tried to save him. Really they did! Unfortunately, it wasn't quite enough.

_Elsewhere, Fujinami Chihiro blinked, lifting his gaze from his computer screen. "I feel like ... like I have just been spared a great pain!_

* * *

Kotaro had met several guys like this Luthor fellow, even if they'd operated on a smaller scale than him. They didn't know the first thing about real fighting (even if a few took self-defense lessons just in case), and yet they held incredible power over others who could crush them easily in a man-to-man conflict. Against the general opinion, Kotaro was actually okay with that. He respected people who could hold their own in a fight far more, true, but that didn't mean he couldn't respect those who relied more on their brains and other skills. Like Chibisuke, or Natsumi-neechan, or-

No, he couldn't be thinking of her now. Or anymore at all, period.

Thing was, he was used to taking contracts, and thus orders, from these kinds of fellows. Still, this particular fellow gave him all sorts of negative vibes. Sitting across them, with a very attractive but oddly scary older woman on one side and a shorter middle aged man at the other, he gave a sensation of being in complete control over his surroundings. Plausibly, if it ever came to that, Kotaro could have jumped over the table and taken him out in a single swipe; perhaps he even could do so while dodging all the dozens of hidden security measures and deadly devices planted between them, the ones he could smell and hear, and those that likely existed but he couldn't detect. Perhaps. Still, Kotaro couldn't dismiss the idea that they were sitting across the most powerful man on Earth.

Lex Luthor. Trillionaire. Owner of an empire spawning over every continent, Antarctic bases included. He couldn't pull the most basic spell out. He couldn't even outfight Ayaka, most likely. (Kotaro had no way of knowing about all of those green and purple power armors lined up in the basement.) And yet, if he opposed Negi's plan, they were done. No one with any actual global pull, except maybe Wayne, who still operated on a somewhat smaller scale, would invest in the project if Lex Luthor rejected it. The man ruined and blessed hundreds of lives with the most casual comments. Kotaro knew all of that, since mercenaries just can't live under rocks. He knew he was powerless against this kind of guy. So he, and everyone, would have to rely on Negi.

Yet again.

Dammit.

"Once again, welcome, lady, gentlemen," the man in the black suit said, as smoothly as his perfectly bald head. And smug, as well, oh so smug, in a subdued but blatant way that made Haruna-nee at her worst seem sound downright humble. "Allow me to introduce you to Kiryuin Ragyou-sama, whom I believe Averruncus-san already had the pleasure of meeting in the flesh."

"Indeed," Fate said quietly, as the attractive woman with the large cleavage, one that Kotaro tried his best not to stare at, nodded her smiling admission. Behind her stood a short younger woman who reminded Kotaro of a dark skinned Hakase-nee in a white suit.

Luthor continued, "... and Mr. Morgan Edge, my CEO of global communications." At that, the middle aged man flashed a perfect white smile. His brown business suit was expensive as hell, but also looked ripped straight out of the seventies, and it was obvious more than half of his dark brown hair was wig. "He will introduce you to our strategy to spread your message to the world in three progressive stages."

Kotaro was surprised that was the first thing the man mentioned regarding their joint venture. Apparently, so was Konoemon, although his expression showed it much less than the boy's.

"You refer to revealing magic to the world," the old man carefully said.

"It can't be helped, can it?" Ragyou said, in a dangerously considerate tone.

"No, it certainly can't," Negi had to admit. "However, the first item of consideration we would like to bring today concerns the construction of the Martian terraforming platform."

"Springfield-sama," Ragyou said, "with all due respect, that cannot be achieved without making its purpose known to the masses. We are talking about a global task that will demand for an unprecedented technological and economic effort. And attempting to perform such a world changing procedure without being honest to the population that will supply your resources would be highly inappropriate, wouldn't you agree?" she added, with her smile becoming sharper and wider.

Negi took a deep breath. "I know. Moreover, time is of the esence, and yet, revealing the whole truth too quickly could cause a global upbeheaval -"

"Naturally. That is why we have started working on a project to make your scenario possible with the least strain for both worlds," Luthor said. A hologram of planets Earth and Mars began hovering above their heads and the meeting table. "We call it - Project COVERS."

* * *

_The Academy:_

None of them knew the first thing about makeup, of course, or so they claimed, so they still needed a girl's help. However, it couldn't be any girl. It would have to be one that would be absolutely loyal to a fault to at least one of them. One who never would fall to the vile Springfield charms. One without any scruples.

Soon, their choice became crystal clear.

A quick call from a reluctant and quite peer-pressured Tate later, Munakata Shiho hummed sweetly, leaning over the weakly squirming Yuki on the chair they had all but forced him into, and worked her magic. Anything to gain brownie points over Mai-san, after all!

The boys waited at a distance, closely gathered together and chattering amongst themselves.

"You sure she's good at it?" asked Hiroshi.

"Well, she ain't exactly ugly, is she?" countered Saruyama.

"Hey, hey," Tate groaned. "Mind your mouth there, buddy."

"Oh, c'mon, you already have a girlfriend! Leave something for us, will you?" requested Daisuke.

"It isn't about that!" Tate growled defensively.

"Oniichan, please," Shiho sing-sang while applying the last touches of makeup on her sobbing victim. "It's lovely you worry so much about Shiho, but an artist needs peace and quiet to work properly, okay?"

"It isn't about -" Tate began grumbling again, finally falling into a tired sigh. "Forget it."

Snickers abounded around him, to which he replied with outright threatening glares, until, minutes later, Shiho pulled back with a satisfied sigh. "Aaaand it's done! Behold!" She spun the chair around, so the boys could get a full look at the result of her efforts. Flat chest puffing up with pride, Shiho heard them inhale in astonishment as pastel bubbles began filling the room...

"This is so embarrassing," Yuki looked down, blushing adorably. Wearing that long skirted dress lent him by Shiho (who was barely shorter than him, after all), and with a long red wig on, covered by the right amounts of subtle makeup that stylized his long eyelashes and accentuated his large, round eyes, he struck a downright angelic vision surpassed only by the likes of Negi-kun in kitsune garb.

One by one, the boys began falling into a mesmerized silence, until only Naegi, Tate himself, Keima, Ranma, Mizuhara, Raku, Sagara and Kurosaki Ichigo remained seemingly unaffected. Quickly realizing the absent stares on their partners' faces, they shared concerned looks before shrugging it off. (Okay, Sagara didn't notice that either.)

Then Keima walked towards Yuki, studied him with a careful analytical eye, sneered coldly for a moment, and then turned back around, waving a hand in circles. "I suppose it could work, for a target not initiated into the wonders of true beauty."

Shiho breathed easier when she saw Tate walking towards her, lacking the signs of the quiet fascinated trance gripping most of the others. He patted her head softly. "Good job here, Shiho ... I guess."

She cooed with nearly orgasmic glee. "Oniichan!"

Ranma looked around, seemingly realizing something else. "By the way," he asked Kyon, "where's your friend now, anyway?"

Kyon snapped back from his trance, quickly growing annoyed at the realization he had been in such a trance in the first place. "Huh? Who do you mean?"

"You know, Suzumiya's yes-man!" Ranma replied.

"... he isn't my friend!" Kyon snapped, before humming darkly. "Hmmmm ... I don't know. He was right here, right before ... well, you know. Knowing him as I do, he's surely giving a call to-"

Several steps away from the front door, enjoying relative secrecy and security for the time being, Itsuki was diligently delivering his report through his cellphone. "- and that's how it is. I thought you would be interested in knowing. If it somehow collides with your plans, I'll make sure to-"

_"Are you craaaazy? That sounds greeeeeeat!"_ Haruhi's voice squealed gleefully. _"Who had that wonderful idea? He deserves honorary membership! That's the kind of progressive breakthrough thought I want!"_

"Um, well, it was a joint brainstorm of sorts between Katsuragi Keima and Sawanaga Taisuke."

_"Who the hell are they? Oh, well, it doesn't matter! Keep me posted on the results, play-by-play!"_

"Yes, Ma'am."

_"And I want photos! Lots of photos! I want pictures of Spider-M- errr, of Cutie Cross Dressing Boy!"_

"Yes, Ma'am."

_"Oh, and Itsuki-kuuun ..."_

"Yes, Ma'am?"

A perverse low chuckle ensued. _"While you're at it, there's something else I want you to do for me."_

* * *

Meanwhile, in the quiet but surely all too brief lull in the middle of crises at the shrine at the hills of Mahora, Tatsumiya Mana, with the keen eye of a demonic Sherlock, realized someone had taken her makeup kit as soon as she entered her bedroom, sweaty from another day of biathlon training and then patrol.

Not that she ever used said makeup except for the rare cases where she had to go undercover and pretend to be milder and softer than she was, but still, it was the principle of the thing. And out of everyone living with her at the shrine, she only knew of one person with the interest, the lack of wits, and the blind guts to take one of her belongings away.

She tightened a fist and grumbled her apprentice's name, in a dangerous, throaty monotone. "Shiho."

She hadn't punished her in quite a while, had she? She had been so busy with her Mundus Magicus mission, she had even overlooked her duty to punish Shiho properly for her role in that deadly so-called Festival, and no doubt that had made the girl bolder and brasher, forgetting her rightful place and limits.

That would have to be changed.

* * *

"Our preliminary studies have shown," Luthor exposed, smooth and confidently, "the major source of distrust amongst our target audiences across the planet, when faced with the hypothetical perspective of an encounter with an alien society, stems from a feeling of disadvantage and helplessness. In other words, once they know for sure about your existence, and about what you can do, the masses will be naturally compelled to fear and distrust you until they are offered reassurance that they can reach a similar plane ... even if they never actually do bother to do so."

"To further elaborate," Edge said, "as long as you reveal yourselves, while presenting yourselves as a collective with both knowledge of our technology and a variety of supernatural capacities of your own, the population's first reaction will be responding with mistrust and unwillingness to cooperate. Many could see you as superior beings, even of a semi-divine nature, but most will feel threatened, whether that is your intention or not."

"Which is why we have operated in secrecy for centuries," Eishun had to agree.

"Precisely, but that isn't an option anymore, is it?" Mrs. Kiryuin remarked. "Our society, as I'm sure you will find reasonable, will demand an equivalent exchange for all the resources and efforts to be invested over decades, the best part of a century even going with the most optimistic calculations. For the barriers between the worlds to be effectively erased, the balance of power will have to be redistributed."

"But there's a big chance of that going wrong, isn't there?" Kotaro felt he had to ask. "I mean, giving everyone the means to access magic and the like... couldn't that cause many dangerous situations when everyone-"

"Everyone," Luthor pointed out, "who can pay for it, naturally."

Kotaro blinked. "Excuse me?"

"As with everything," Luthor said, "power of a physical nature has to be earned through power of an economic nature. That is a constant that will always remain, no matter what. It has been true in both worlds since the dawn of time, and will keep being so. Only the exact procedures for it, and its scale, will change, thanks to all of us."

"The masses," Edge expanded, "feel safe and cooperative, not by holding the power themselves, but by knowing their representatives do. Their governments, their financial and social leaders. I have been studying your societies since this was brought to my attention, and it applies just as well to Mundus Magicus. That's why we all have armies instead of holding our own arsenals in our homes. That basic fact remains the same, regardless of those armies being equipped with rifles and missiles or wands and dragons."

"So you are basically asking for access to magic resources as a tool of power." Queen Daenerys spoke evenly, coolly, a slight edge creeping into her voice.

"A tool for everyone," Kiryuin replied. "While only our armies may have tanks, and only yours can have whale warships, our civilians will have every right to hold implements of power much like those your own commoners can get access to through the correct amounts of economical investment."

"In other words," Fate spoke, "you are talking about spreading magical power, or a reasonable equivalent, across this world as it undergoes a social fusion with ours."

"Exactly. Consider it a necessary step towards what basically amounts to a multicultural blending," the woman with the milky skin said. "From now on, you cannot hide in the shadows anymore, holding the advantage of your esoteric practices above the heads of Earth's majority. That doesn't mean everyone on Earth will have the willingness and capacity to study sorcery, just like most of your commoners don't. However, they must feel they have access to that kind of power, should they desire it. That is where COVERS come into the picture."

"Please elaborate," Negi requested, uncomfortable but still polite.

"With pleasure," Luthor took over again, standing as the hologram shifted into a diagram showing a wide variety of implements, ranking from clothes of all types to what looked like app devices of all sorts and sizes. "This is the future. Magic and technology combined into one, at the access of everyone..."

"... who can pay for it..." Kotaro muttered darkly under his breath. Fate kicked him in a shin under the table.

"... who can, fair and rationally, compensate those who had the foresight and carried on the effort needed for such developments," Luthor completed his sentence with a slight but sharp bit of displeasure. "That is the elemental nature of any major sociocultural change with widespread ramifications through the economy, although we shouldn't be surprised a child wouldn't have thought of it."

Kotaro nearly choked on his saliva for a moment. "E-Excuse me?!"

After a moment, it was Neg¡'s turn to ask, in a far quieter but no less bewildered tone, "I beg your pardon?"

"Granted," Luthor swiftly said, before adding, "Of course we know. We have to know. We wouldn't be here if we didn't have our own ways to know. Don't take it personally. It's something we have to do with everyone ... much like your own superiors no doubt try to do with the rest of us, as well." This was said with a subtle glance towards Konoemon and Eishun, who said nothing. "I'm sure you'll fully understand it when you come to fit into the world of adults, Mr. Inugami, Professor Negi."

"I suppose," Fate said coolly, "asking for your sources would be an exercise on futility."

"I'm sure you can figure them out on your own," Ragyou said with a strangely unnerving smile.

"That's correct," Fate quietly placed a fist on the table, almost but not quite knocking on it. "It would have saved us time, regardless."

"Time that would be no doubt better invested on our joint enterprises," Luthor replied.

Kotaro made a disbelieving sound. "After you admit to spying on us like this, how can you—"

Fate gestured for him to calm down, which he barely did. "Inugami. That is a widespread nature of diplomacy in the high spheres. You should grow used to it. If everyone who ever spied on each other didn't ever made treaties afterwards, the history of mankind would never have had any periods of peace, anywhere."

Kotaro stared at him. "How can you be treating this so naturally—"

"Because it is a natural thing to happen," Fate bluntly told him.

"Which, of course, doesn't make it any more ethically correct, regardless," Daenerys said with a cutting edge to her voice.

"Your Majesty," Luthor said then, "trying to send children under false names into a world altering negotiation is more often than not considered 'ethically incorrect' as well, in our society at the very least. A lesser man would feel insulted over what could be taken as a perceived slight, but in the interest of the greater common good, and since Mrs. Kiryuin has spoken favorably of you, I will forgive it for happening ... but never forgetting. With that in mind, from now on, I will be dealing exclusively with adults for the durations of these treaties."

Before she could reply, in a manner that most likely might have sparked greater conflicts, Fate spoke faster, yet even so quiet and cold. "Negi-san is the man who initiated this project, and I am his right hand man. We will remain tied to its foreground for the whole of its duration, or else it won't be carried out at all."

"That is an interesting statement," Luthor said. "Unless my sources were sadly mistaken, I was under the impression you were completely opposed to Professor Springfield's project until weeks ago, to the point you would kill to foil it. Might we know why are you so closely tied and necessary to its conception and success now?"

"Haven't your sources told you?" Fate asked.

"Perhaps."

For the next moments, the atmosphere around the table greatly resembled that of a Mexican standoff. Morgan Edge really wished for an alcoholic drink.

Konoemon broke that silence with a calm, unwavering "Our apologies, then, if we have somehow offended your sensibilities. I assume that is why we haven't had tea."

"Coffee," Fate quickly remarked.

"My bad. Tea or coffee," Konoemon amended.

Luthor blinked twice, then addressed his assistant, "Mercy, tea and coffee for our guests."

"Yes, Sir," the tall woman said before quickly leaving the room.

"I regret that omission," Luthor said, very flatly. "Now, Mr. Averruncus, I don't doubt the three of you are greatly accomplished for people of your age. I know for sure you have achieved deeds far greater than most grown men will ever dream for the rest of their paltry lives. I am sure, in due time, you will be considered titans of the modern age ... for better or worse, since history is often written by myopic men, and misjudges the visionaries. Believe me, I should know. However, Professor Springfield, you simply happened to be the right person in the right place at the right moment. .. but haven't you stopped to consider you might have left that place and that moment behind? Have you ever led any group larger than a classroom? Even with all of your intellect, do you really think of yourself as a politician or entrepreneur? This project of yours needs men and women used to helming at a large scale. Politics, leaders of the industry, and even men of faith. You are seen as a hero by those in the world of ... magic, but so is Superman in ours, and that doesn't mean he could guide the destiny of a nation, or a conglomerate. Often, the man who plants the seeds of greatness isn't the man destined to look after the tree."

Negi's eyes went very wide, and he ignored the cup of tea that had just been placed before him.

"As for you, Mr. Averruncus," Luthor continued. "No doubt, you think you hold the fortune of this whole enterprise in your hands. That, at the slightest twist of your loyalties, you can decide the path both worlds will take. However, stop to consider this. First of all, at this point, whether your world survives or not will barely affect ours. Your ... mages like to think they have helped mankind from the shadows for untold years, but they have been so preoccupied with secrecy, they have actually changed very little over the last few centuries. And we haven't even invested anything in your plans yet, so even if you rejected our help, we only would have minor costs in the way of preliminary designs. In this equation, it is you who relies on us, rather than the other way around. As proved by the fact you came here for us. True, it would be a shame if you spurned our offers to build a new age of prosperity for both worlds, but if you succeed on placing your whole world in an artificial paradise, or if your world perished, those who rely on us would not even notice it. We simply would continue proceeding as we always have."

At that, Ragyou's eyes briefly showed an intense spark of a fearsome nature, one that spoke of someone on the verge of losing everything, and of lashing out because of that. But she held herself back, waiting.

"At the same time," Luthor kept on orating, "ask yourself, would you really be able to deviate from Professor Springfield's plans and still succeed? My reports have told me you succeeded as far as you did because you had the element of surprise. Should you attempt that course of action again, this time, the joint forces of your world and those in this world who have branded themselves the super-powered defenders of mankind would go after you. We wouldn't move a finger, of course, but ask yourself, with your own forces diminished as they are, can even your admittedly formidable might stand against those combined efforts?"

Fate said nothing, but despite his lack of expression, his frustration on the brink of fury and his newfound impotence were obvious.

Konoemon rasped, once again keeping his cool facade. "Haaaa ... yes, it is a difficult situation for all of us, indeed!" he said, rubbing his own chin. "When one happens to be in need, one should not act picky. Just like, when one happens to be in an advantageous situation, one shouldn't flaunt it to manipulate a situation."

"Naturally," Luthor said with a smile. "Good thing, then, we are so willing to help you through that difficult situation asking for only a few reasonable conditions in trade. Wouldn't you agree?"

Kotaro hissed harshly under his breath.

Fate finally touched his cup of black coffee and took it to his lips. "I like lack of mercy in a negotiation," he decided. "It's exactly what I would do, if I were in your place."

"Now here we have a honest young man," the bald man in the black suit commented, amused.

Fate began sipping, slowly. He disliked the taste. It was bitter. Even if he knew most of that taste was in his mind rather than his actual lips. "I don't think I want to deal with you, either, so I will respect your wishes, and leave dealing with you to the elders of the Associations. That still doesn't mean I will be withdrawing from the Project's direction, of course, and neither will Negi. Just that we won't be handling the duties of coordination with your side of the operation."

"Hey, now," Kotaro told him. "What's with deciding that for Negi before-"

"Those conditions are fine with me," Negi tensely said. Then he looked at Eishun and Konoemon. "However, the last word will fall on our elders."

Konoemon only nodded gravely, and after a moment, so did Eishun, reluctantly. Ragyou's face relaxed back from her near rictus, and Edge's sweat covered features collapsed into a relieved sigh.

Lex Luthor smiled. "Thank you. That is exactly what we expected to hear. I'm sure reasonable young men like you will get remarkably far in life ... eventually."

Kotaro felt like vomiting.

* * *

_Mahora Academy:_

"Hey, Emiya," he heard, coming from a few steps before him, and that made him stop right before he could enter the small house at the borders of the campus his father had left him. Turning back, he saw Tate Yuuichi coming to a halt before him, hands in his pockets and a scowl on his face. "Got a few minutes to spare?"

The red-haired boy nodded. "Um, sure thing," he said, guiding him inside. "Saber! I'm home!"

The next thing Tate knew, a green-eyed lion had pounced on Emiya, growling with terrifying ferocity.

"Shirou! Where had you been? I'm starving!"

Or a reasonable facsimile, anyway.

_Later:_

The best thing about it, Tate guessed, was the meal was really delicious. Other than the food at the Chao Bao Zi, it had to be the only food he had ever tasted that was better than Mai's.

"You'd make a really good wife," he dryly snarked between careful and slow mouthfuls of his dinner, all the better to taste it as it deserved.

The short blond woman nodded between huge, avid mouthfuls of her own. "Yes, he does."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Shirou sighed.

"Soooo ... does the Headmaster know about this?" asked Tate. "I mean, I was vaguely aware of all this Holy Cup War nonsense, and how it happened at roughly the same time as the HiME War, but ... I never imagined you ended up, well, living together as a result."

Saber-san nodded, closing her eyes while savoring her latest mouthful, all the while producing a think purr from the back of her throat. "We have to. Even after the War, our unbreakable bonds as Master and Servant prevailed."

"Okay," Tate said, eyebrow quivering.

"And I need daily transfers of prana from Shirou and Rin to sustain this physical form in this world," the young woman continued. "The Headmaster graciously understands that, and has taken mercy on this newfound life of mine, the sole true retirement an ashen warrior soul can ever experience, my real Avalon, my -"

Was Emiya blushing now? It sure looked so. "A-Actually, they don't need to be daily, really, it's just-!"

Tate blinked. "What are you two talking about, now?"

Saber-san and Emiya stared at him, mildly shocked, before sharing an eerily synchronized "Never mind."

"Umm, allriiiight," Tate said, taking a napkin to a corner of his own mouth. "Anyway, I only wanted to ask you what do you really think about that whole 'Honey Trap' business, Emiya. Don't you think they're taking it so far? Considering what we knew about Negi-sensei, shouldn't we have told them something to stop them?"

"Like what?" Emiya asked.

"I don't know! You're the guy who winged it through a bloody war! I only got myself killed in mine! Okay, and then I was revived and had a brief fight with a demi-god, but still!"

"Don't feel too bad about it," Emiya told him, sympathetically. "I got killed and revived as well during my war!"

"More than once, as a matter of fact," Saber expanded.

Shirou sighed again. "Yeah ... and the demi-god I fought, I'm sure he wasn't as impressive as yours-"

_Elsewhere, the now chibified Gilgamesh tensed up._

Tate was growing really exasperated now. "Whatever, man! That doesn't really matter! What I mean is, this is gonna suck for everyone, mostly for Negi-sensei and that Yuki kid, and we still let it happen! Aren't you supposed to be some sort of freaking Hero for Great Justice?!"

Emiya quietly put his bowl and chopsticks down, and solemnly said, "Tate-san. Through the War, I grew and changed, or at least I want to believe I did."

Saber refilled her bowl quickly. "You did. Your cooking has improved greatly since Sakura-san started coming over regularly to -"

"Aaaaa-heeeemmmmmm," Shirou coughed. "As I was saying, Tate-san, I'm not the stupid idealist I once was. I still chase after the ideals of Justice, but with a changed eye. I have realized I cannot save everyone at the same time, and I also have realized some situations will defuse themselves, in a comical harem routine. A true hero bids his time until he's really needed, and then, only then, his actions can count."

_"What route is this, again?"_ Tate very weakly wondered, his voice barely a whisper.

Emiya retook his bowl and chopsticks. "Seriously, they are goofing around, and nothing else. And it might help Yuki-san to forge character. Adversity did that for Tohsaka, for Saber, for Sakura, for Caster-san, for Ilya-chan, for my father, for Shinji-"

"For Matou?" Tate incredulously asked. "But of late, he just sits around muttering in a traumatized tone!"

"And he's much wiser now than he used to be," Saber stated, while Emiya nodded.

"But, but-" Tate said, "At least we should warn Negi-sensei, or his roommates, I dunno. I hate the idea of being a stool pigeon, but -!"

Then the front door slid open. "Saber! Emiya-kun!" a pleasant female voice sing-sang. "I came for today's recharge session! And this time I brought the lubeeeeehhhh... Eh." The rather naughty smile on Tosaka Rin's face melted into a frown as she came into the dining room and stared at Tate. "And what are you doing here?"

"Good afternoon, Rin. Tate-san came to discuss a trap set with honey for Negi-sensei with Shirou," Saber told her, with a soft. warm smile of her own. "Children of this age are really powerless against sweet things, aren't they?"

Tohsaka gave both boys a doomsday glare. **"What?"** she demanded, and they shuddered in terror. Facing the Obsidian Lord in Gilgamesh's body would have been preferable to that.

* * *

"I feel dirty," Kotaro grunted, sitting at the back of the rented limo with Negi, Fate, the Konoe men and the Queen, all conveniently shielded from the driver by a magical sound barrier. "I also feel more insulted than ever."

Fate felt sorely tempted to ask if that included the recent incident in which he had been kicked out of his living quarters (which had been noisy enough for the neighbors to hear, and rumors traveled fast in Mahora) not to mention questioning him on the causes behind it, but decided it only would muddle the current situation and detract attention from the really important subjects at hand. "If this offers any consolation, I am not completely pleased with the results. Still, we have a preliminary confirmation of cooperation, and in the end, that is all that matters."

"We should have gone to Bruce Wayne first," Eishun somberly said. "Even if his name doesn't carry the same weight as Luthor's, he would have offered a better start for us."

"Ah well, it's better to get the unpleasantries out of the way first, don't you think?" Konoemon wondered aloud. "It's far from being the first time we have had to play along with his kind. And just like before, we will prevail this time, as well."

Negi sighed. "I doubt my father would have stood for this. They are as bad as the Megalomesembrian Senate, aren't they?"

"They are the same everywhere," the blond woman mused, looking out the window with an unreadable expression. "They might not cast shackles of iron, but they still have this world in a prison of its own."

"Yet, what is the alternative?" asked Fate. "Their system is corrupted, but it at least brings a measure of lawfulness and order. Take them down, and this whole world will degenerate into anarchy. Here, it's not as simple as marching into a nation and taking the chains away from the slaves."

"No, they have those chains in their souls instead. Don't they?" she asked.

Fate mildly shrugged. "It's still a system that works, for the most part, and one that will enable our own goals."

Eishun smiled sadly. "Nagi wouldn't ever have come with us in the first place. I sincerely can't imagine him sitting there, much less being awake through Luthor's full speech."

"No, he wouldn't," Konoemon agreed. "But he would have had a constant hand on the project, all the while pretending he wouldn't even care about the logistics, and that they made his head hurt. Only to surprise us with simple but precise insight whenever we would get stuck."

Eishun and Negi shared a sigh.

"And at some point, later on, he would punch Luthor in the face, and get away with it," Konoemon added with a chuckle.

"And it would be glorious, and Jack would upload it to the Web with a music remix," Eishun laughed.

Even Fate almost showed a slight sign of a smile then.

"All we can do is try to make him proud," Negi quietly said. "Until his return. I only hope, when that happens, I can look him in the eye and hear a 'Well done'. That's all I ask from life at this point."

"Oboy, here it comes again. Mr. Martyr, let me tell you something," Kotaro said. "You don't have to act as if your own life wasn't worth anything just because you're the world's savior. If anything, that only gives you more right to some happiness of your own."

"It's fitting you would mention that," the Khaleesi said. "That is the very same thing Miss Asakura told me during our latest ... interview."

"About him, or about yourself?" asked Kotaro.

"Judging from her phrasing, I would say both," she replied.

"What can she know about affairs of such a scale?" Fate said. "She's only -"

"- one of my valuable partners," Negi sharply said.

"One of those who were all the way behind him while others were an obstacle," Kotaro added, just a bit pointedly

Fate narrowed his eyes. "That doesn't change the fact her views are only those of a child in her fifteen."

"I barely was older when I seized the throne," the Queen said.

"And like we've just been so harshly reminded, we are children ourselves," Negi said, placing a hand on a groaning Kotaro's shoulder. "Yet here we are, with you, to no protests from you. And Father-"

"You can't possibly compare our circumstances to hers," Fate protested. "You are being far too lenient on -"

"- lesser beings?" Kotaro guessed, rolling his eyes. "You know, it's just like we hadn't left Luthor behind..."

"This conversation," Konoemon spoke suddenly, casual but firm, "ends here and now."

The blonde gave him a side glance. "That doesn't mean the feelings behind it will."

"We are rational beings because we have the capacity to restrain our personal feelings for the greater good," the old man continued, his ancient gaze traveling over the trio in assumed identities, all of whom sat in silence. "And everyone here is mature enough to realize that."

For a moment, Eishun reached into his breast pocket for a cigarette, but stopped himself short of it.

Daenerys looked out the window again, examining the strange wonders of that alien world and its streets. "I would dearly hope so," she said.

* * *

The locals had called it the Tatsumiya Shrine for years, after the late priest, then very young, who rebuilt it after the firebombings of the Great War had been named Tatsumiya. After he died an old man, leaving a newly adopted daughter named Mana behind, a man of the Masaki family that had originally founded the shrine returned from his trips across the world and took over it, and had been running it ever since.

What most did not know, of course, was the fact that man was, actually, the very same man who built the shrine seven hundred years ago, kept alive because of his alien nature. Now posing as the distant direct descendant of the original Masaki Katsuhito, he'd returned to his old duties and took charge of Mana's education, and later on Shiho's, after her family died leaving her under his care. Even if she rarely showed it, Shiho was grateful for that, and tried her best to be a good shrine maiden. And to quickly deliver her adopted family a heir with Tate Oniichan, of course. What she didn't particularly appreciate was being kept in the dark for so long about so many secrets of the family.

"I'm home," she moaned after making her way up all the dozens and dozens of steps uphill, finally arriving at the area connecting the shrine with the extended family's residence. Roughly five months ago, a young man and a very beautiful young lady had shown there in a motorcycle, begging for refuge on a rainy night. They hadn't left, which was okay, Shiho guessed, because Bell-sama was very kind and patient and a great cook. However, storms often follow sunlight, and weeks after, Cousin Tenchi, Grandpa's flesh and blood grandson, freed a lusty female demon from the sealed cave near the shrine, and in the ensuing melee, large parts of Mahora had been wrecked. The following inquiry was mostly swept under the rug, as usual, but Cousin Tenchi had been homeschooled ever since.

That very same demon was too busy drinking sake and watching TV with Urd-sama at the living room to realize Shiho's arrival, much less greet her. Of course, Shiho herself liked it better that way, so she quietly snuck in behind them, trying to ignore how they discreetly traded short wet kisses and gropes under their loose robes at seemingly random intervals. That had to mean Ayeka-hime-sama was out shopping. Ryoko-san never did that when Ayeka-hime-sama was near.

Knowing everyone as Shiho did, Grandpa would be in another vigil (read-lazing around at the shrine itself), Cousin Tenchi and the furry thing would be off at the carrot patch, Bell-sama and Sasami-hime would be busy in the kitchen, and Skuld-san and the terrifying red haired midget would be locked in their labs cooking pernicious abominations against nature. Mihoshi-san was probably foiling those abominations for everyone's good without even realizing it. Keiichi-san should still be taking classes. And Mana-sempai ... probably off with Sakurazaki-san, on one of their patrols.

It was bitterly funny, in a way, how you could still be alone even while surrounded by so many nutballs.

But Shiho honestly preferred it that way.

She went into her bedroom and closed the door behind herself, taking her shirt off and starting to unzip her skirt with a tired sigh. And then -

"What have you been doing today?" a harsh, unforgiving voice asked her.

Shiho cringed, her four pigtails standing up. Slowly, with a face marked by dread, she turned around to see an unamused Tatsumiya Mana sitting on her bed.

"Sempai," the small redhead gulped. "What, what gave you the impression I've been doing anything at all today?"

"You took my private, special makeup kit, didn't you? The one I've told you, over and over, is reserved for emergency situations of espionage and infiltration, correct?"

Shiho's face began turning a stark white color, and she trembled violently. "Noooooo ... I have no idea what ... ah," she said as the makeup kit slipped out from between her clothes and slammed down on the floor. "I wonder how that got in there."

_**"Shiho..."**_ Mana began growling.

* * *

_**"Shirou..."**_ Rin began growling.

* * *

Shiho whimpered helplessly.

* * *

Shirou made a sound that surely wasn't a helpless whimper, because hardened Heroes of Justice who boink King Arthur never make those.

On the other hand, Tate, not a wimp himself either, did whimper helplessly.

* * *

Revelations happened.

* * *

Now everyone had taken their separate ways, except Negi and Kotaro, who walked together towards the female dorms, in an awkward silence. At least, until Negi stopped and looked aside, into the distance, with his hands in his pockets and a faraway look in his face.

"Hey," Kotaro said, stopping as well, "You feeling okay there?"

"Hmmm? Oh, yes, of course, Kotaro-kun. Sorry, I just spaced out for a moment. Look... could you please go ahead, and tell the girls I won't be there for a while? I think I need some time alone... to think."

If Negi expected for some sort of objection, he didn't receive it. "Sure thing. You're going to marinate into your own brooding angst for a couple hours, right?"

Negi clenched his teeth. "We all have our own hobbies."

Kotaro actually laughed at that. "When you want to, you can be a riot. Well, if you aren't there by dinner, I'll tell Asuna to come here so she can slap some sense back into you and drag you back. I'd do it myself, but... right now, I don't feel like making you any favors."

Negi smiled at him. "And I thank you over it."

They lightly bumped fists. "Don't get that get to you, Negi. That kind of crap... happens."

"Yes, of course I know."

"Of course. Just like with everything else," Kotaro shrugged, and then went alone on his way, whistling. Negi watched him go until he was missing from sight, and then wandered around on his own, trying to clear his thoughts. Eventually, he just walked back to the dormitory, but climbed up onto the roof, instead of slipping into his room. Which was a stupid thing to do, because he should spend as much of their remaining time together... well, _together_, and he knew that.

_You can't be our teacher anymore_.

It was funny how he hadn't really faced up to that reality until now. He'd spent days and weeks working on the project, away from the school and his friends here, and yet he'd always somehow thought that he'd come back here eventually. But the truth was, things were going to get harder from here on out, and he'd be drawn further and further away from this place and the people here.

Especially after Asuna was gone.

But of course, and now the probability seemed hideously plausible, when it would have sounded ridiculous to him days ago, maybe he wasn't as necessary for his own plan as he had believed. Maybe he wasn't as wanted as he would have thought. That hurt, as well; he knew the project was going to be filled with all manners of capable people, and he knew no large enterprise should ever rely too much on a single person, and yet, the new perspective of being demoted or losing nominal or effective importance somehow chilled him. Maybe the girls would think that was okay, and maybe they would be right... but it didn't _feel_ right.

Was that only his own ego assering itself? Was his concern about measuring up to his father making him too worried about his own role and importance, rather than the project itself? Once, Anya had opined martyrs were the most self centered people, while berating him over his then latest exhaustion breakdown. That they thought the world spun around them, and thus they magically could change anything and everything if they sacrificed enough of themselves. Then her words had barely registered, but now, thinking back on it, they did bite him with no small amount of poison.

But then, if he left his friends behind, and the project didn't really need him, where did that leave him? What should he make with his unending life? What was his true purpose?

Negi closed his eyes as he lay on the rooftop of the dormitory, drinking in the sun in the way that he'd seen Evangeline doing from time to time, trying not to think about that. But though he loved his master - despite, and in some cases, because of all of her little quirks - he wasn't equipped to simply ignore the world the way that she could. To do that, he'd need a distraction.

"Negi-sensei?" asked a nervous voice.

_Here comes one now,_ Negi thought happily, and opened his eyes. "Hello, Sayo-san, what are you doing up here?"

"I came up to look for you, Sensei," the ghost told him as she hovered nearby, hands clutched before her in a rather prayerful gesture.

Now, you already should know what comes after this point, so we will skip over Sayo, Negi and Haruna's adventures and misadventures for the time being, to better focus on other players of this complicated play of destiny...

* * *

Whatever else could be said about Tate Yuuichi, no one could really deny the boy was courageous. He hadn't hesitated when he had to pitch in during the Mars versus Mages game, or during the siege of Searrs on Mahora, and later when the stripping demons from above struck. He'd faced certain death by green sparkles with dignity and a smile, and upon reviving, he stalled a living god by tackling him with nothing but a practice sword. He'd probably have died early if he had gotten himself involved in the Grail War, but he wouldn't have died begging and postrated.

Unless he had faced Tohsaka Rin. Not her Archer, he could stare into that one's eyes without flinching (too much). To be fair, women in general were his Achilles' Heel, so he probably would have broken under enough pressure from the albino Lolita, the ancient Greek witch or the Darkness-Possessed Sempai as well. On second thought, we aren't making him sound that courageous anymore, are we? Um, he was, most of the time, trust us. Anyway, moving on.

"So that's the way it is," Tohsaka said, softly drumming with stiff fingers on the table's surface. Her voice was rigid and dry enough to make said table look like a cushion. "You knuckleheads have grown jealous of Negi-sensei's continued success and the fact he looks and acts more like a man than all of you put together, so you have banded together to send a spy after him. Said spy is a weakling boy who is being bullied into seducing Negi-sensei."

"That's unforgivable!" Saber growled.

"On the other hand," Rin continued in the same flat tone, "Negi-sensei isn't as innocent either, as he's been having sex with three of his students, including Sakurazaki Setsuna of all people."

"That's unforgivable as well!" Saber growled.

"I'm shocked and appalled," Shirou blandly said.

"Wait a minute, when did I tell you that?!" Tate cried.

"While you were listing off reasons why Rin shouldn't just blow up the whole lot of you," Saber coldly told him. "Apparently, you believe two wrongs make a right."

"Oh, that's right, that's when I - eeeeeehhhh, no, it's not like I believe that, I was just saying the guys were somewhat justified in -"

"QUIET, YOU!" Rin barked.

He shrunk down. "Yes, Ma'am."

Shirou had also shrunk down, mostly due to learned reflexes.

"Saber." Rin looked at the blond Servant. "What do you think we should do with these rapscallions?"

"A fiery crusade to rightfully smite their asses, as you use to put it, would seem the best course of action, Rin," Saber said.

She nodded. "True, true. However, exposing one thing might expose the whole, and that might lead to Negi-sensei being booted out, and that might bring forth doom for his Martian project, and that might spell death and destruction for countless generations. So there's that."

Saber blinked twice, then slowly said, "Oh ... I see. Seen from that perspective, it's not that different from going to rightful war with my own wayward child, only to spell the doom of the whole Britain."

"I refuse to believe this conversation is taking place in the same world as me," Tate decided aloud.

"Right." Rin brought her hands together. "So, in everyone's best interests, we'll allow the idiots to fall victim to the principle of evil punishing itself. There's no way those imbeciles will pull one over Negi-sensei, so we'll wait for them to fail, then these two will alert us about it, THEN we will mercilessly stomp the sweet living crap out of them."

"But, there's no honor in that!" argued Saber.

"Saber, look at it this way," Rin calmly told her. "Didn't your armies ever resort to the always popular tactic of allowing your enemies take each other out so you could triumphantly march over them with a minimum of losses to your beloved country?"

"Actually ... no," Saber said.

"And did it all end well for you OR you beloved country, Saber?" Rin pressed on.

"Actually ... no."

"Well, there you have it."

"But, even so -!"

Rin sighed. "I'll tell you what. In the meanwhile, we'll go directly with Negi-sensei and settle matters with him so his debauchery stops. By force if it's necessary. And before you say anything, it's not the same thing as with us! None of us is ten, and none of us has the fate of the world on their shoulders! Anymore!"

At that, Shirou and Saber closed their read-to-reply mouths and just sighed with a deep sense of loss of a chance.

Rin shot a stare at Tate. "Now leave my house before I kick you out, and remember, not a single word of this to anyone, or else!"

"_Your_ house?" Tate asked. "I thought this was-"

"A woman's harem's house is her house! Now scram!"

"Gladly!" he honestly replied before bolting out for the front door, barely stopping to pick his shoes back up at the entrance.

Shirou helplessly looked at the door his sole remaining male support had slammed, leaving him trapped in. Then he gave Tohsaka a half-pleading look. "Are you sure about this?"

Rin huffed. "Certainly! What harm could befall from going over to Negi-sensei's and starting a civilized but heated discussion with him and his illicit sex partners?"

_Across the campus, another Rin, Saki, Aya and Yozora all sneezed._

"But-" Saber began to protest.

Rin waved a hand nonchalantly. "Never mind about that! Leave the thinking and planning to me! Now, that left me frustrated as hell, so, um ... well ... after all, I had been summoned here to, well, you know?"

For a second, Saber and Shirou were about to tell her they didn't need to invite her anymore, but as one they realized the futility of that, and also that they were actually sort of horny again, and began pulling their clothes off.

* * *

A short while after, Shirou was on his back on the floor, naked, as Saber, wearing nothing but her bra, vigorously rode his manhood; not that the bra mattered that much, since Rin had pulled the cups down to lick and lightly chew all over the Servant's small breasts as she rubbed her own crotch against Shirou's mouth and tongue.

Eventually, Rin and Saber began kissing, Shirou struggling to keep a proper pace between pumping up into the blonde and managing to breathe into Tohsaka's cunt at the same time. Under the circumstances, it's not surprising that his muffled screams of "Cumming!" went unheard. He tightly placed his hands around Saber's hips and buttocks and buried himself even deeper before giving her the regular dose of Od she needed to keep her physical form.

"Ahhh," Saber exhaled, rolling off Shirou with flushed cheeks, which Rin quickly took as her chance to jump onto the spot the King of Knights had left vacant. She had come a long way in a short time after her early days of shyly struggling through the act, had Rin; with the nearly daily practice and the experience it had brought, now she panted loud and obscenely as her petite breasts bounced up and down in tandem with Shirou's thrusts. He had resorted to reinforcing his penis to keep himself active through those long, often difficult sessions of shared sex, which Rin had found laughable at first, but had come to accept without a word of mockery as soon as she began reaping its benefits.

Then Rin clenched her teeth as she heard the front door going open. They had forgotten to lock it up after that Tate boy had left, hadn't they? She dearly hoped that wasn't him, coming back for some reason or another ...

No, wait. It was worse than that. She knew those steps, slowly approaching them. The steps of two of the four other people in Mahora who dared to walk into the Emiya house without knocking first. (Then again, it at least was marginally better than the case of the other two - Illya and Taiga - would have been). And Saber was walking towards them, still just as naked, to greet them.

"Good afternoon, Sakura, Rider," she welcomed then. "You look good today."

"Oh. Good afternoon, Saber-san. And you two, Sempai, Oneesan," Matou Sakura said, sounding just slightly upset, as her violet eyes caught sight of a smirking Rin in nothing but black stockings riding her man. _Their_ man, Sakura supposed that she ought to think, as there was no real way she could change the situation without it ending in another disaster, but still, it was never easy, particularly not when Rin got to him before she could. Stupid Grandfather and Shinji, still unable to cook for themselves and wasting her time ... oh well. _Good girl, good girl_, she had to remind herself as she began unbuttoning her blouse. "On our way here, we happened to see that Tate-san who was in the last meeting with us walking the opposite way. Judging from the scared look on his face, did he talk with you, Oneesan?"

Rin shot her an annoyed look, but stubbornly kept kissing the young man she rode just so he couldn't answer to Sakura's greeting or questions yet. Even though their faces were starting to take a faint purplish hue.

"Indeed," Saber answered instead, taking Rider's bicycle jacket after the other Servant took it off, a gesture of hospitality that Rider accepted with a slight bow. They had actually connected rather well now, after they'd stopped being enemies, despite the fact their respective personalities made their interactions look and sounder colder than they actually were. "They were discussing matters of a private nature with Shirou and Rin."

"Oh? Such as?" Sakura casually inquired while pulling her skirt down.

Rin, who by this point really had to breathe, pulled back from the kiss and said, "Such as the private kind that is, well, private!"

"Good afternoon, Sakura-chan, Rider," Shirou greeted after gasping loudly for air, his hips crashing harder against Tohsaka's body as he reached climax.

Sakura mildly pouted in the middle of unhooking her racy black bra; she had been favoring lacy black underwear ever since her brush with the shadows, and even after being freed from them. "Aw, please, Oneesan ... as your little sister and Sempai's future bride, don't I deserve this much trust?" Boing boing, her large assets went after being released.

"It's not, it's not that, it's just we promiseeeeeed!" Shirou's voice trailed off as he finally shot into Tohsaka. "Oh God, oh God! That was incredible, Tohsaka!"

Rin smirked, tossing a coquettish glare over her shoulder at the now nude Sakura and Rider. "It was, wasn't it? And we're just begiiiii-" she said that as Rider, after a short nod from Sakura, pulled her back from Shirou's lap. "Hey, I hadn't finished yet!"

"Rider, make sure my Oneesan finishes, will you?" Sakura said as she crouched on top of Shirou's recovering reinforced hardness, then impaled herself down. "Mmmmm, yes. Now, now, Sempai, any secret of yours is a secret of mine, isn't it?" she asked, making sure her breasts hung right above Shirou's drooling mouth, in all their well rounded glory.

Shirou's eyes became oddly starry, and he instantly latched his mouth onto a nipple.

"He he heh," Rin chuckled, "If you wanted him to speak, you shouldn't have given him something to fill hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!" she shrieked when Rider held her firmly from behind, then shoving two fingers into her vulva with little to no foreplay. It wasn't that Rider couldn't appreciate the tsundere's own female charms - quite the contrary, actually - but she definitely wasn't her favorite of the Tohsaka sisters. Not that it stopped her from licking and nibbling on one of Rin's ears as she mashed her breasts up and down Rin's sweat-slick back.

"Oh, you brought cakes! Thank you, Sakura-san!" Saber happily began devouring what Sakura had brought with her.

* * *

_Meanwhile!_

"You fucking sanctimonious bitch!" Chisame shouted. "'if there's ever a time'? IF? When you already know that there's going to be a time like that coming up real damn soon? Where the hell do you get off?"

"Won't you come in?" Asuna said, as politely as one can when one is speaking through clenched teeth.

_And then!_

"So let me get this straight," Kotaro asked, a few moments later. "You're going to be put to sleep -"

"Not euphemistically!" Asuna interrupted as she held Chisame in a headlock.

"I got that after you explained it to me the second time," the boy retorted. "Anyway, you're going to be put to sleep for a hundred years, and you haven't told anybody outside of Konoka-nesan, Setsuna-san and Pineapple Head - and she only found out 'cuz she was eavesdropping and promised not to tell anyone either. Is that right?"

"Yes," Asuna admitted, containing Chisame's struggles easily. "That's all there is." There was a brief, awkward pause. "Okay, and we also told a few others, those outside the class we had sex with, and the next door neighbor as well, but only so they could understand our circumstances and not denounce us, and they don't count anyway because they weren't in our circle, so -"

"You are a total cunt."

_And THEN!_

Chisame finally found her voice. "Wait a second," she gasped, as Asuna began rolling down her jeans. "I never said that I was going to - stop looking at me with that skeptical expression, it's weird in a person wearing nothing but bra and panties!"

"Well, since they're going to come off anyway," Asuna answered blithely as she reached for the straps of her bra.

"That's not what I - shit, you went and did it all the same!" Chisame howled her protest. "Look, I don't want to have sex with either of you!"

"Well, then, you can leave, or you can stay and watch," Asuna said quite reasonably, as she folded the bra and set it down.

_And __**THEN!**_

"Come on down here, Chisame-chan, and we can play with this thing," Asuna offered in between licks at the boy's erection.

The urge to tell her to stop calling her Chisame-chan almost overpowered the sexual frenzy into which Chisame had once again fallen, but she quickly dropped down to join her.

Kotaro sat back against a wall, moaning and groaning and completely failing to realize, without Negi around, the room wasn't soundproof for the moment. Next door, Mai sighed as she fixed the table. "Don't they ever get tired of it?"

"This time, it isn't him," Mikoto frowned, ear stuck to the wall. Her cute face showed a decidedly strained expression. "Now it's that dog boy who often chases me around."

Mai nearly dropped a plate. "- what?! Oh, for the love of-! They aren't happy with just dragging in even more girls? They have to involve children as well? How messed up can they be, anyway?"

Very messed up, actually, as Kotaro proved by turning Chisame around so she was on her back on the carpet as he crawled over her, his hands showing his sharp claws now, and said claws slashing and ripping Chisame's remaining clothes almost gently. She slapped him, but he barely felt it. "W-Wait a minute, twerp! I never said I was going to-!"

He panted like an animal in heat - well, the male version of 'heat' - forcing her legs open, and lining up against her front entrance. "You said I hadn't given you enough satisfaction, didn't you?"

"W-Well, yes, I did, but I didn't mean-!"

Asuna chuckled, sitting down behind Chisame to play with her hair. And then her breasts. "But so far, you've only pleased him, not the other way around. Don't make promises OR threats only to back up on them later, Chisame-chan."

"I'm not going back on anything, and don't call me ChisameEEEEEEEEEE!" she quaked into Asuna's suddenly firm grip on her upper torso, just as Kotaro pushed himself ahead and penetrated her. "Ooooo, alright, you two are going to pay for this, badly!"

"Consider this an advance payment," Kotaro grunted, licking his lips all over as he started pumping into her, more delicately than he had done to Asuna. Chisame tried her best for a protest, but only a tense sound of NNNNGHHHHH came out as Kotaro and Asuna began licking her nipples, occasionally stopping to sloppily kiss each other.

Next door, a darkly resignated Tokiha Mai had begun stuffing cotton balls up her ears.

Mikoto thought that looked funny.

Back in the other room, Kotaro kept ramming into Chisame as he held her ankles and used his grip to keep her legs lifted high and open, the wolf boy now energetically pumping into her sex, even if still not as strongly as with Asuna.

"So, how do you like this, Chiu-chan!" he growled between thrusts. "Not so mouthy now, huh, Miss Smartypants! Oh gods, you're so tight!"

"Ngh!" she groaned, bucking back against Asuna's own grip on her. "Not even half as good as Negi! Harder, twerp! Harder! Ahhhh, not soooo haaaaaard!"

"Yeah, you like your idiot hero now, don't you, don't you ... nnngh! Cumming! Cumming!" he announced.

"Nnffhhh. Bwahh? Eh, outside, outside, you damn fucker!" Chisame cried.

"Aiinnhh!" he whined, pulling back after squirting a first load into her. The rest splattered all across her pubes and tighs. No sooner had he stopped, falling back on his butt, than Chisame slapped him, hard, hurting her own hand but barely realizing it in the heat of the moment. She struggled free from Asuna's grip ands ran naked for the bathroom, trying to wipe the semen out of her snatch as she ran. She looked rather comical like that, Asuna decided.

"You damn fucking idiots!" Chisame slammed the bathroom's door behind her. "I have to wash this out, I have to -!" she screamed as they heard the sounds of running water. Asuna glanced at the spent Kotaro and smirked at him.

"Ooohh, you're in real trouble now," she teased.

He slumped forward onto himself. "I'll say it again; you're a royal cunt."

"Indeed," she licked her lips as she straddled him. "And you guys just love that, don't you?"

Quite a while after, a grumpy Chisame, wrapping a towel around herself as she kept wiping herself down there with another one (with 'Konoka's' sewn on it, by the way) was greeted by a still smirking Asuna, who sat on top Kotaro's crotch as he napped. "So, you got it all out, then?"

"How should I know? I swear I'm not carrying any brat from this idiot! I'm going to stick the damn baby in with you so you can take responsability for it!" Chisame blurted out, angrily as hell.

"I'm pretty sure you can't do that," Asuna calmly pointed out.

Chisame huffed and looked down at the sleeping boy. "He was only good for another go, huh?"

"Yeah," Asuna said, poking the boy's member with a finger. "Doesn't have Negi's endurance, either, I guess. Then again, he was very busy today, so ..."

"... what the hell did I just do?" the hacker asked, rubbing her own face up and down, as if hoping that would wake her up.

Asuna rolled her eyes. "And here comes the denial of reality."

"I'm not in denial of - nnngghhh!" Chisame broke off in a growl. "That is so annoying!"

"Sorry," Asuna replied, manifestly not sorry, as she pulled Kotaro's briefs back up and arranged him so he could sleep a little more comfortably, petting his head once more as she did so.

Watching this in almost a daze, Chisame shook her head. "What was the point of all this?"

"Does it have to have a point?" the other girl asked back. "If it does, why don't you accept the point that I gave you at the start of this?"

"Because I don't believe it. Even if I did believe that you wanted to train me for when Negi goes back to being the annoying little ... person that he was before all this zaniness started -"

"You'd actually have to go way back to the start of his teaching career, if you want to be that general," Asuna told her dryly.

"- then what you did isn't consonant with that goal, is what I was trying to say!" Chisame concluded. "Also, stick it."

"Stick it," Asuna muttered. "That's a good one. I'll have to use it." She got up from where she was crouching on the floor, walking over to the window and gazing out of it. "It's a beautiful day, don't you think?"

Chisame, glasses restored, stared at her.

"I don't have a lot of beautiful days left. A few hundred, at most. And ... you know, I want to experience everything. Everything. I know I can't, but I want to experience so much more than I have in the last nine years. Maybe, if I do that, then the little bit that's me won't drown in the vast ocean that is her and all her borrowed memories," she murmured. "Maybe I'll be real."

She turned back to look at Chisame, and smiled. "And the sex isn't so bad, as you already know."

Chisame slowly shook her head. "And what about -"

"What about poor Negi?" Asuna answered. "Do you think it'll hurt him, to know that I'm screwing around behind his back? Do you think he'll feel pain and sorrow?" A deep breath. "Do you think if he feels that, he won't miss me so much in all those years to come?"

"No," Chisame promptly answered.

"Oh well," Asuna replied with a shrug. "Now, I believe that I mentioned something about teaching you how to be with Chachamaru." She hopped up onto the window sill and spread her legs. "Come here and give us a kiss, Chisame-chan."

* * *

"So... that's how it is, anh," Sakura panted as she rubbed her sex against Rin's, grabbing her sister's leg as they humped together. They had started doing it two weeks ago, when one of their brushes in the middle of a session for the next dibs on Shirou ended up, somehow, with the two of them wrestling and rubbing against each other just a bit too much, while Saber seized the chance to show Shirou, once again, why she also could have been a great Rider. Rin still thought it was freaky, not only how often they ended up in that situation ever since then, but, even worse, how often Sakura used it to pry information out of her. Just like now. "So Negi-sensei is growing up so fast! And poor Kagurazaka-san, too ... we really need to pay her a visit and show her how much we care, don't we, Oneechan?"

_It's not wrong because it's not incest, she's a Matou, I'm a Tohsaka, she Matou, I Tohsaka,_ Rin forced herself to repeat in her mind, far from the first time, while panting what she hoped would come out as a stern rejection of such a ridiculous idea.

"Ah, yes..."

Damn it.

Shirou, who at first had majorly freaked out upon witnessing that sort of contact, was now both mostly used to it and too busy fucking Rider in the corner to really voice objections against it anymore. Saber, who after all had a son-slash-daughter with her own sister, regardless of the methods involved, sat in the nude at the table, watching over the other four as she kept eating.

Rider's long and silky purple hair whipped around in all directions with her motions, occasionally slapping Sakura's bare ass, something the young human tolerated with the same practiced good humor she had developed to allow her loyal Servant - who would give her own life for hers and her happiness - have her way with her man. It helped that having Oneesan reduced to her playful wicked mercy felt so good, it really smoothed over any of the other involved circumstances.

Shirou bit on one of Rider's nipples as he held himself as deep as he could inside of the Servant, and ejaculated. He sighed as Rider caressed his scalp with a hand, tenderly kissing his forehead, and then he looked towards the sisters. "So I'm the one who can't keep secrets, huh?"

Rin clenched her teeth, refusing to scream her climax just yet as Sakura laughed lightly. Damn, in moments like those he reminded her so much of Archer, it ached. In every sense of the term.

Using her hands on the floor to push herself against her sister's core one last time for the afternoon, she let herself go. But she didn't aknowledge Shirou's point. Which meant that she won the argument, of course.

* * *

_Much later, this happened..._

Now Haruna was smiling, and it wasn't a pleasant sight.

"Ummm," Asakura considered.

"It's all right," Sayo reassured her as she led her friend towards the door. "We can handle her. Really."

Haruna's face didn't fall until the two of them were out of sight. "How did she do that? That thing where they understood each other without saying a word or even making an gestures?" she asked irritably.

"It's called friendship, Haruna," Negi told her, with obvious sympathy in his voice. "You might want to try mending your own friendships for a while. Meanwhile, I'm going to try and talk Fate into having your suspension lifted, once I check in with Asuna and Konoka."

"You don't have to do that -"

"No, but I'm going to do it anyway, since ... well, when you get right down to it, I'm the reason that he's here in the first place." Negi sighed. "I hoped that this would help him develop a little empathy, but I think that might not be working out."

"Ah, British understatement, how do I love thee?" Haruna muttered.

Then there was a slight, shy cough coming from behind them, startling them. It was a sensation Negi hadn't felt for a while, that of someone successfully sneaking behind him. Turning around preparing themselves to do battle, even if they didn't realize it, they found themselves face to face with a very cute short girl with long and wavy red hair, blushing intensely as she held a pink envelope in her small, delicate hands.

"Kya!" the girl shrieked, shocked with the sudden way they had turned around on her. "Ah, ah, sorry, to interrupt your conversation, wh-whatever it was about, but, but ... Nagi-sensei, please accept this proof of my feelings!" she whined, slamming the envelope down in Negi's hands before turning around and running away and out of sight as if the devil chased her.

But Haruna didn't chase her, although she considered it for a moment. Instead, she looked at Negi and grinned. "That's a trap, you know?"

"Huh?" he asked.

"I mean, a trap, in the sense that you're getting yet another admirer right when you least need one, you unrepentant Casanova, you. So tell me!" She nudged him with an elbow. "Who's that girl, hmmm?"

"- I have no idea."

"- you don't?"

"Uh ... no? Why should I know about every last student on campus?"

Haruna blinked. "Because this is the first time ever I've seen you failing to remember a student's face, no matter how obscure it might be?"

"I have my limits as well, Haruna," he reminded her, opening the envelope and reading from the card within. "Oh my. Ashikaga Yuu? I don't know this name either."

"Okay, now I'm sure this has to be a trap," Haruna said.

"Come on, Haruna. There's no reason to feel paranoid about this," he sighed, as she craned her neck over his shoulders to read the letter herself. It was a fairly stereotypical confession of love, as cliched as they come, but he supposed some girls just had no imagination to speak of. He figured, if she was keeping it short and unremarkable, that was good, because it had to be a simple plain crush rather than a complex passion like-

"No, look, look!" she insisted. "This confession is copied word by word from 'My Broken Heart and a Really Big Axe', Japan's best selling romance manga! Geez, how can she be so transparent and lazy? She only took Taro-sensei's name off and replaced it with yours! Honestly, that's the kind of cheap lame trick only a boy would pull off."

"Well, I'm glad." Negi pocketed the letter. "If she's putting so little effort into it, I can't mean that much to her anyway. Don't you agree?"

Haruna pouted. "I guess so, but still ... ah, what the heck. Okay. Message received. I'll leave that to you, and go make nice with Yuechi and Nodochin." She threw him a mock salute and started to march in.

Negi sighed and shook his head. He was learning, however slowly, to pick his battles.

* * *

"I'm home," he announced shortly after as he went in through the door.

"Welcome back darling, would you like dinner, a bath, or me?" Asuna asked without looking up from the history texts she was studying once more.

"You," he answered honestly.

"Ah, gee," she said, looking up with a smile. "We're all out. Maybe later, okay?"

"Okay," he replied, looking around. "Where are -"

"Kotaro-kun has some kind of job for the headmaster, Konoka and Setsuna are off on a double date with Nodoka and Yue, so it's just you and me for now. How was your day?" she asked.

"Well, I found out that Fate has given Haruna a suspension, helped Sayo discover her body and woke it up so that she's alive again, told Haruna about your situation, and had sex with the pair of them. Oh, and right before walking in here, I got a love letter from an admirer I never knew I had. As a matter of fact, I didn't even know she studied here," he informed her calmly. "How was yours?"

"Got yelled at by Chisame after Rakan told her about the situation, had sex with her and Kotaro,- did you want to say something?"

"Nope," Negi said, shaking his head and closing his lips firmly.

"Good. Good. I don't really want to tell any more people about the situation, Negi."

"So you're ready to tell everyone in the class?" he asked hopefully.

"No, that's not what I _said_. Iinchou, maybe. But only her, and only ... Chisame has this weird idea that she loves me or ... oh, not you, too."

"I didn't say anything."

"You didn't have to."

* * *

In the meanwhile, Ashikaga Yuki kept on running, with an arm shielding his eyes. Oh, the shame! Oh, the intense, burning, scathing self contempt, bordering on sheer hatred! Reduced to a pawn in a heartless game of petty grudges and jealousy! If Kotonoha-san or Roka-san could see him now, they never would forgive him!

It was at that point, naturally, that he stumbled into someone else.

Somewhat against the usual Peter Principle concerning these instances, that someone was not Katsura Kotonoha or Kitsuregawa Roka.

However, as he looked up, way up, Yuki realized he was facing the OTHER person who made for his Worst Possible Scenario on such an occassion. And he paled.

The tall, strong-looking, dark-haired Sempai in the kendo practice uniform stared blankly at the lovely vision of maidenly beauty who had just slammed against him on his way to visit Tendo Akane. He noticed her nearly tearful expression, no doubt that of an innocent virgin who has stumbled into the object of her affections. He felt her panic, her frozen terror, and he knew he had to act, and now.

Then the pastel bubbles began floating around...

Yuki shrieked as the Sempai's large, strong hands closed tightly on hers. "Don't be afraid, small delicate flower of the prairies," his deep, manly voice said comfortingly. His hands wouldn't let go, despite of Yuki's frantic attempts to pull away. "I, Kuno Tatewaki, the Blue Lightning of Mahora High, have instantly realized the deep nature of your passionate crush, one powerful enough to send you literally running into my arms. I accept your sincere feelings!"

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

* * *

Uphill, between the bushes of the surveillance point, Taniguchi put his binoculars down. "Damn it," he quietly said.

"What's wrong?" asked Shuu. "Didn't he take the bait?"

"No, no, it isn't that," Taniguchi said. "Springfield got the letter, alright, it's just-"

"Gimme that!" an annoyed Ranma snatched the binoculars from him, took a look down, and then his eyebrows twitched.

A second later, the binoculars fell on Taniguchi's head, making him yelp, as the blur that was Ranma bolted towards the mismatched duo.

* * *

"FOOLISH SORCERER SAOTOME! Must you intervene in the path of every damsel who prefers me over your paltry charms? You shall pay for this!" Kuno roared as he kept striking ahead with his boken.

Ranma kept leaping around, dodging and kicking him. "Ahhhh, just shaddap already, you big ox!"

Yuki kept watching back and forth between them with huge watery eyes, occasionally weakly asking for a cease of hostilities, until, suddenly, there was another blur between the combatants, and a small pale hand caught Ranma's next punch, stopping it and fiercely squeezing on his fist. "You Saotomes, honestly," a dry, quiet yet harsh voice said, as the short white haired boy who had just intervened casually kicked Kuno in the face, sending him down for the count.

"- oh crap," Ranma cursed.

The newcomer looked back at Yuki, who knew he was lost right then and there. Screwed. Finished. Done. Expelled, no doubt, to be a shame to his family and friends, and then he would have to...

"Are you well?" the short boy asked him, in a decent, if cold tone.

"... uuuuhhhh?" Yuki babbled, before nodding rapidly.

"Good. Then go," the boy said, still keeping Ranma's fist tightly in his grasp.

It took another moment for Yuki to react. When he did so, it was with a nervous nod and a bowing. "Of, of course! Thank you, Fate-sensei!" he said in his best girlish voice, before running away for dear life.

Fate wondered who that girl was. Busy as he was with far more pressing matters, he hadn't memorized the faces and names of those students not directly under his supervision. Yet. Still, he could have sworn he had seen her before. Not that such trivial subjects mattered now. (Though there was something about her that he couldn't quite understand ...)

"Saotome-san," he icily told the bristling Ranma, "what will we ever do with you and your kind?"

* * *

The next day, once her classes were over, Tendo Akane walked all the way to the detention hall, darkly muttering to herself. Once there, she slammed her notebooks before her pummeled fiance, who stood on one foot holding buckets of water on the other foot, both hands and his head. "Here, today's classes," she growled. "Are you feeling better now?"

_**"That little creep really is going to pay-"**_ Ranma mumbled over and over.

"Hey, you two made it worse by picking a fight with him AFTER he gave you your punishments." Akane then looked towards Kuno-sempai, who stood close holding just as many buckets, all bandaged like a mummy, which made his garbled speech quite difficult to figure out. That was most likely for the best.

Akane finally looked towards the tiny redhead with pigtails writing, 'I won't keep secrets from my Oneesama and steal her things' on the chalkboard time after time. "And ... what did _you_ do to get Fate-sensei angry at you?"

"Well," Munakata Shiho grumbled from between tightly clenched teeth. "Not exactly _him_, but if anything, someone _far worse_ ..."

* * *

**To be Continued Next Chapter!**


	7. Haruna, Ranma, Ku Fei, Rika

Akamatsu, Kodansha, Takahashi, Kadokawa, others, are the owners of this menagerie.

**WARNING:** Don't attempt any of the following stunts in your autumn Sports Festival. You might seriously injure yourself and others and even **DIE**. We won't accept or return any videos of your reenactment of the _Jackass_ show at your local school, and instead will burn them in a pyre as we laugh. Unless that video includes young teachers fucking dark skinned Chinese fighters. Then we will confiscate it for research purposes.

* * *

**Chapter Seven**.

* * *

'Twas the night before the Sports Festival, and all through the headquarters of the SOS Brigade, not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.

Except Suzumiya Haruhi, who circled the table where sat an immobile and terrified Ashikaga Yuki, his sole possible exit through the door blocked by a standing and just as still Koizumi Itsuki. She moved like a hungry shark with the wide smile to match, coming closer and closer, until she finally stopped before him.

"No doubt you are wondering," she sweetly cooed, "why I made Itsuki-kun bring you here?"

Yuki gulped. "You learned what I did to trick Nagi Springfield-sensei - very much against my will, by the way - and now you want to use that for your own schemes against Nagi-sensei?"

Haruhi looked truly impressed for a moment. She looked at Itsuki and said, "Not only cute, but clever!"

"Why, thank you. I try-"

"I'm talking about him," Haruhi curtly said before smiling once again at Yuki, her hands on his shoulders. "You're perceptive, my ambiguous vision of honey trap beauty. Indeed, you will help me to find the truth about the perfidious Nagi-sensei and his connection to Negi-sensei's disappearance. Wouldn't it be horrible if he had it his way and all of us started disappearing as well? Could this world survive ... _The Disappearance of Suzumiya Haruhi_?!" She gestured as grandly as she spoke.

"Most likely not," Itsuki said, all honesty.

"That's right," Haruhi nodded. "However, your scope also falls a bit short, my dear Yuki-kun," Haruhi said, and if she had a cat at hand, she would have stroked its fur right then, probably while wearing a monocle. "You'll be my secret weapon, not only against that deceptive stranger in our midst, but also against that oppressive, power mad tyrant known as Fate Averruncus ... and against the heartless men who forced you into drag for their own myopic, petty purposes! Seriously, what kind of evil creature would force a poor, innocent, confused and harmless creature into fancy frilly clothes he or she doesn't want to wear, for nothing more than their personal benefit and amusement? They would deserve a punishment, wouldn't you agree?"

Yuki blinked.

At that very moment, Mikuru walked out the HQ's bathroom, in her newest frilly and short skirted Meido outfit, with a bucket and a mop. "Um, I finished cleaning the toilet already! Can I, can I go now?"

"Not now, Mikuru-chan!" Haruhi waved a hand towards her. Then, addressing Yuki once again, "So, what's it going to be, Boy? Yes, or no?"

Yuki pondered that. It was an evil, indecent proposal, an insane and hopeless scheme against two teachers, one of whom had been kind and gentle to him, while the other had saved him from Kuno-sempai's appetites. He shouldn't accept it, no matter what, not even if it cost him his -

- his chance to finally get one over Sawanaga Taisuke.

His gaze met Haruhi's. "What do I have to do?" he asked.

* * *

_Unequally Productions Present:_

An Adventure Not by Stan Lee and Jim Steranko.

**Ashikaga Yuki, Agent of SOS!**

With Ashikaga Yuki.

**Also Starring:**

Tertium 'Fate' Averruncus.

Saotome Ranma.

Negi Springfield.

Ku Fei.

Kagurazaka Asuna.

Takamichi T. Takahata.

And Itoshiki Nozomu as Mr. Despair.

Soundtrack by Whoever You Want to Listen to While Reading This.

Only one Averruncus was hurt during the making of this chapter.

* * *

_The First Day of the Sports Festival, Ground Zero, Mahora Academy:_

You could have heard an epic movie theme over the voice of Asakura Kasumi right then and there. As a matter of fact, you could; whatever the rest of the Mahora students could say about Class 3-A, there was no denying they could do damn fine stage plays and the like.

High in the sky above Mahora, a holographic projection of Asakura's grinning face and upper body had appeared. "That's right, you lucky people!" she declaimed. "It's the start of this year's campus-wide event! And this year it's 'Rush the Teachers! * The Super-Scavenger Competition!" Behind Asakura was a hologram of Sayo throwing holographic rose petals into the air.

Across the Academy grounds, the students (except for Katsuragi Keima, who remained sitting on a bench obliviously playing his latest galge) paused on whatever they were doing, and stared and listened intently, their eyes shining with a wide gamut of emotions, ranging from dread to sheer joyous excitement, from gleeful thoughts of revenge to, of course, those of lust. Hands were rubbed against each other. Even a few lips were licked, up and down, from left to right and back.

"In this event, the goal is to hunt down our teachers and make completely unreasonable demands of them! And this year, there's a special bonus for anyone who manages to track down the beloved-" Asakura's hologram began coughing, perhaps to cover the utterance of the word 'bullshit'. "- child teacher of class 3-A!" Now Sayo unrolled a poster... with Fate's unsmiling face clearly emblazoned on it. "Anyone who successfully obtains their item from this handsome fellow-" More coughing. "- will have their points multiplied two hundred-fold! Isn't that amazing?"

The SOS Brigade, naturally, also bore witness, interrupted as they had been in the middle of Haruhi's latest inane filming.

"Two-hundred fold!" Suzumiya Haruhi squealed.

"Oh my," Mikuru shivered, taking a tiny hand to her cute mouth.

Kyon's right hand tightly clasped around his own face.

Nagato didn't even blink.

Itsuki took a tissue and daintily applied it to his nose without anyone noticing.

Haruhi, grinning insanely, spun around on her feet and gestured grandly. "BRIGADIERS! There's been a major change of plans! Right now, our first and foremost goal must be ... GETTING THE TWERP!"

Kyon darkly muttered something very obscene, but also thankfully very unintelligible.

Fate, who had quickly left the archery hall after Okochi's surprising disappearance, was standing in the street watching this display with as much emotion as he ever showed.

"And furthermore, teachers, you should be aware that if anyone other than a member of your class borrows from you, you'll get a penalty! Fate-sensei's penalty will of course be two hundred times worse!" Asakura announced.

"They cannot be serious," Fate murmured.

At that very moment, a small number of what were clearly tanks rolled up the street, and their artillery pieces quickly rotated to point at him. "Attention, Fate-sensei!" declared the tank's commander over a loudspeaker. He recognized her voice, even through the sound-altering speakers of the armored vehicle. Nishizumi Miho from the Anglerfish Team, Tankery Club. "We are the combined representatives of every military and wargaming club on campus. Please surrender immediately, we have no desire to harm you, but our honor obligates us to collect-" A pause, as if she was reading a note. "- your boxers!"

"... all right, they apparently can be serious," Fate concluded, as he departed by air, taking advantage of the cloud cover thrown up by the tanks' sudden assault. He considered petrifying them and explaining it to any bystanders as 'CGI' - this apparently being readily accepted as an explanation, against all logic - but decided to save that for when he actually confronted the delicate young ladies who were responsible for this.

* * *

Elsewhere, not too far away, Kurosawa Minamo-sensei and Tanizaki Yukari-sensei, who had been calmly drinking soda with their students after an athletic competition, blinked and looked at each other.

"Man," Yukari-sensei said, "if only he wasn't such an asocial, stuck-up jerk, I'd really feel sorry for Fate-kun." Then she chuckled.

'Nyamo'-sensei, as she was beter known, frowned. "That's very insensitive towards someone who obviously has had a hard time fitting anywhere."

"Well, I bet he'd fit in better if only he wasn't such a asocial, stuck-up jerk," Yukari replied.

"Besides -" Nyamo said.

"Yes?"

"She meant 'all' teachers, right?"

"Aaahhhh."

Right then, Takino Tomo tackled Yukari's legs. "I got her! Catch the other one!"

Kagura leapt for Nyamo. "Leave it to me!"

"YEEEEE!" Nyamo screeched, barely dodging in time.

* * *

"I don't know," Yuuki Rito groaned. "Isn't this like stealing from a corpse?"

"Yuuki-kun is right... w-well, sort of," Sairenji Haruna gulped. "And, and what sense of achievement could be gained from this, anyway?"

"Hey," Saruyama shrugged, bringing on a ladder, "don't look a free horse in the mouth, or whatever." He hummed as he climbed up the ladder, towards Itoshiki-sensei's body, which hung limply from a sakura's branch. "Sensei, can I have your wallet in a way that absolutely isn't theft? Thank you," he grinned, pulling the wallet out of Itoshiki's hakama pants, then looking inside. "Damn, only cyanide pills and two yen. Is this really a millionaire's wallet?"

"Get me his underwear, Saruyama-kun!" Momioka Risa giggled, before she felt a shadow looming ominously over her and her partner in crime Mio. Looking back, they saw Kitsu Chiri from 3-F, standing behind them, with a shovel in her hands and several of her classmates flanking her. "Oh, shi-"

"How dare you, stealing from OUR teacher's not quite dead corpse! WE'LL SUE!" Kimura Kaere pointed at them, dramatically, as a mighty burst of wind blew her skirt and showed her pink panties, against which Rito promptly slammed his face after a sudden stumble when he shifted his position. No small feat, considering he had been at the other end of the group. "AH! I'LL SUE YOU TOO!" she added, kicking Rito against the trunk.

"Maybe that wouldn't happen if you didn't wear such a short, immoral skirt!" Kotegawa Yui angrily pointed at her.

"What are you saying? Yours is as short as mine! These are grounds for a defamation lawsuit!"

Hitou Nami silently slipped away as the fight broke out, carrying Itoshiki's inert body in her arms. Normal or not, she was quite scarily stronger than the average Japanese student, but then, that was normal in Mahora.

She won all the points her class earned during that game, which was something Chiri, Matoi and Kiri never forgot.

"Ah, it's so nice to see everyone getting along so well," Fuura Kafuka said cheerfully as she overlooked the fight.

Beside her, Oshizu Murasame, the only person there who could see what Kafuka actually looked like, nodded quickly with a fixed grin on her face as she tried to hold in a scream of unimaginable horror...

* * *

"Bw-wark?" Boo Welker-sensei asked, tilting his head aside.

"That's right, Sensei!" the very pompadour-ed Gotokuji Kaoru assumed an expert fighting stance while blocking his path, alongside three of his kouhai in the Mixed Martial Arts Club. "You shall not pass ... unless you hand over your glasses!"

"And tie!" another boy added.

"And shirt!" a third one said.

"And the answers for this term's tests!" the fourth one smiled.

"Buckkk-waarrrk! Bwak, bwerk bawak buckkk-aaawwwk!" Boo-sensei protested.

"What? You think you can take us all at once?" Kaoru huffed. "Bring it on, then! We accept your challenge!"

"Bwak! Buck-buck-buckkkaaawwk!" Boo cried, jumping up and then dealing a flying roundhouse kick to Kaoru's face. Faster than the others could react, he spun between them, slapping them down, no move wasted or failed, a living whirlwind that scattered feathers everywhere and caused several loud sounds of crunching and crushing, their exact causes being too violent to describe in this wholesome story. Kaoru himself proved to be a tougher challenge, managing to land a few punches across his face, until Boo blocked his last blow with a-

Kaoru stared, aghast, at the thing protruding from under one of the teacher's sleeves, as the glasses the man wore were slightly askew and loose over his ... beak? "Is that ... is that a ... wing?! Oh Kami-sama, you're a giant-!"

"Buck-bkk-buckkaaww!" Boo said, headbutting him into unconsciousness before fixing his tie and glasses back on. "Bwak, bawk, bwak."

"That was impressive, Chicken," an Rhode Island-accented voice said in English behind him. Eyes growing narrow, Boo turned around to face a large, obese smirking man with short brown hair and glasses, in a white shirt and black pants. He was rolling his sleeves up now. "I'm going to enjoy this, you bastard. After you made me chase you all the way from Quahog, now you'll finally taste - THE REVENGE OF PETER GRIFFIN!" He charged ahead.

So did Boo. **"BWWWAAAAAAKKK!"** he yelled, running over the fallen students to clash against his hated nemesis once more.

Don't ask.

* * *

"Are you sure," the tall lanky man with the crow asked patiently, yet also glacially, "you would get anything at all out of mugging me? That infernal rapscallion didn't mention anything about teachers from the college area."

"Tch, she said 'teachers' in general," Enoshima Junko snorted, with her twin Mukuro standing shortly behind her, and her classmates Celestia Ludenberg, Maizono Sayaka, Asahina Aoi, Ogami Sakura and their sempai Owari Akane circling him (and his crow, can't forget the crow) from every other side, effectively trapping him after ambushing him on his way back from Library Island. "Anyway, even a bad catch is better than nothing, right?" she said with a truly disturbing grin that greatly reminded him of the Joker, hands perched on her shapely hips. "So hand everything over, Scrawny. Unless you'd want us to do it for you, pervy Four-Eyes?"

He sighed, pushing his glasses up. "Truly remarkable. All of you, plucked from diverse walks of life, with nothing in common but your intellectual shortcomings, and yet united by the goal of harassing and bullying others, no doubt to get your own sort of petty revenge against authority. I can sympathize, I really can. However," he said, slamming his cane on the ground twice, "I won't be intimidated. Can you truly say the same?"

"What in the-" Junko began snorting again, which proved a mistake when it made her breathe the first of the strange mist that had started flowing out of the gaijin's cane.

Moments later, all the girls twitched helplessly on the ground, clawing and whimpering for help, sobbing about their worst fears. The well dressed man smiled, basking in the satisfaction of a scratched itch he had not tended to for far too long. It was almost like in the old times.

"Hroo. Hraaa," he happily cooed, walking over them and twirling his cane around. By the time they could get back up, even assuming they would ever want to admit their defeat, the quickly self-disposing chemicals would have evaporated through their accelerated sweating and fully absorbed into their organisms. In the meanwhile, maybe he could stay around long enough to observe their reactions and study and categorize them. He rarely had the chance to perform live studies anymore.

"Kenshiro..," Ogami cried to herself, hugging dirt tightly against her massive chest.

At least she was better off than Owari, who was pushing mouthfuls of the same dirt into her mouth, while complaining about being so hungry, and feeling so cold. Or Ikusaba, who had collapsed and was crying for her sister, interspersed with pleadings of 'don't hurt me'.

And then there was Junko herself ...

... who seemed to be shaking in climactic delight, licking her lips over and over as her hand reached under her micro skirt. "Oh, oh, oh yes, that delightful despair ... that, that overwhelming feeling of pointlessness ... ahhhhhh!"

The man cringed in disgust.

* * *

"It's over, Ninomiya-sensei," Katou Otome smiled as she and her cohorts Minami, Natsumi (definitely not a Murakami or Hinata by any stretch) and Mori surrounded the tiny teacher in the playground where she had been frolicking. Damn, it almost felt shameful. Too easy. Otome almost felt bad about it, not that her friends seemed to care at all, judging from their vicious smirks ... well, they could overdo things at times, Otome thought deludedly, that's why they had her, to reign them in for their own good. "Just give yourself up, and we'll make this very, very easy for you."

The little girl in the loose yellow dress stopped spinning around on the merry-go-round, licked a last spot of chocolate ice-cream near her mouth, and pulled a shiny coin out. "Oh, really? Don't tell me!"

Moments later, the four girls trembled face down against the ground, moaning with as much energy as their drained bodies could muster for the task. A fully grown, sculptural woman in a tight mini yellow dress sighed as she pocketed a coin in. "Really, girls from good families like you should know better than to become cheap delinquents."

After several moments of stunned silence, the other children in the playground all stood up and began clapping.

With a gentle smile, Hinako-sensei turned back towards them and took a sincere bow.

* * *

"Sir?" Minamoto Shizuna asked, arms neatly folded behind her back, after she finished listening. She stood before the large windows of Konoe Konoemon's office, and now tilted her head back to look at the old man. "I assume you have heard all of that?"

"Perfectly well, Shizuna-kun," Konoemon calmly replied from behind his desk, flipping through a magazine. "Why wouldn't I have heard it?"

"That being the case, what do you plan to do about this hastily concocted scheme to harass our teachers, particularly the potentially lethal one brought from Mundus Magicus?"

"Why, Shizuna-kun, the answer should be obvious. I plan to stay behind these closed doors all day long. I have a teaching certificate as well, after all."

"Ah. That is a very wise answer," she sedately said.

"Thank you. I try my best."

"Should I get extra locks?"

"I was about to suggest that myself."

* * *

So, there was Saotome Ranma, hopping from rooftop to rooftop with his hands in his pockets and humming a certain song that went 'Yappa pa, yappa pa' to himself, pondering what to do next. On one hand, Ranma had been the frequent victim of manhunts from irrational youngsters before, and he knew better than anyone how awful that felt, so he was actually quite sympathetic towards most of the teachers right now.

On the other hand, Fate. Fuck that guy. Not in that sense, of course. That'd have been gross.

So he was now on the prowl for him, feeling quite confident he'd catch him before any of the others did, because he was Saotome Ranma, that was why. He grinned just a bit viciously to himself, in a way that absolutely wouldn't have reminded anyone of Ryouga's at his worst and without the fangs, of course not, as he oversaw the chaotic area from above, bouncing rapidly across the campus. Not only would he avenge Haruna-chan's honor, but he'd also settle a score of his own with the little dipshit.

Then he spotted him, which made him freeze at the middle of a rooftop, right above him and ... Haruna-chan?

Okay, and some of the weirdo girls in her class, as well. But what were they -

"Get him!" Haruna ordered, and then all of them except for the one with the dark hair and the slutty gunslinger costume, the one who had done so well during the Martian invasion game, charged.

Ranma tensed, ready to leap down to interfere any moment now. Wary as he was of interfering into anyone else's fights (which was quite against the Martial Arts Code), but those weak silly girls should be horribly mismatched against a guy who had fought him so incredibly well before, and also ... what if they stole his reward, and his chance for revenge, before he could claim them?!

And what the hell, Haruna-chan was grabbing the tiny pale bastard and whispering something into his ear now, too! Ranma's field of vision was fully bathed by bright crimson, and a combat aura instantly surrounded him. Why, that shitty little -

And then, from above, a bolt flashed down. Ranma barely could react in time to jump back, and even so, the shockwaves sent by its impact were enough to send him tumbling dangerously close to the edge, blinding him for a second. "What the-?!"

Undeterred, sick worried about his sister's safety, he scrambled over to look back down as soon as his vision returned, and then he wished he'd never had so. His jaw fell.

The other girls but the gunslinger were gone now, and Haruna and the little jerk were naked, naked, and she was kissing him and whispering something to him, and the rooftop under Ranma's feet cracked and shook violently. A dark, insane gurgle of fury crawled up his throat.

"Now, Yuna!" Haruna shrieked when she saw Fate's face turn incandescent with fury.

Ranma was too livid with anger of his own to catch on too much of the way the other girl (or rather, another one of the same girl, but that mattered NOTHING AT ALL now!) shot at Fate and sent him down, accompanied by another girl who had just appeared out of nowhere with her.

All he could think of right now was of leaping down there and pummeling the sister-rapist jerkass to bloody painful death, so he did so, landing on his feet with a heavy thud and several rounds of shockwaves right before the four of them. Blood injected eyes. A terrifying shadow obscuring his face. A deadly inhuman hiss escaping his mouth. Hands turning stiff in a wonderful impression of claws about to tear someone apart.

"- eeep!" Murakami Natsumi said, going horribly pale, and dropping a piece of paper.

"Oooooh, crap," Yuna gulped, lowering her guns just a little.

Fate, flat on his back, only gave a soft dizzy hiccup.

Haruna blinked, swallowed what felt like a bowling ball stuck in her throat, and then grinned. "Ahhhh ... oniichan! Nice to see you around, but ... weren't you supposed to be with Akane-nee?"

"**GWWWWAAAARRRKKKK!"** Ranma growled, charging ahead.

Later, much much later, Haruna would always have a hearty laugh about the day when not only she had to save Fate's life, but also, somehow, in some way that she never could figure out after the fact, manage to restrain her big brother in the proccess.

* * *

When Fate could think again, he was staring up at a blue sky. It was rather pleasant. Or rather, it would have been if not for the animalistic howls and growls he could hear Saotome Ranma making right out of his sight range, which somehow felt far shorter now.

Moving his head aside, Fate could see Saotome Ranma was being held against the sidewalk, cheek roughly rubbing against the dirt, by Saotome Haruna, still naked, who had caught him in a complex lock grapple from his back, exerting every last bit of her strength to keep him pinned. Even then, it was clear to Fate only the fact the boy refused to harm her, primal rage or not, was preventing him from tossing her aside like a ragdoll.

"Are you listening now?!" Haruna yelled, all but bashing her brother's head down just to keep him in check. "Are you, just for once?!"

**"Grrrffrrrrghhhh!"** Ranma graciously replied.

"Oh, for fuck's sake!" she said. "No wonder you and Akane-nee make a perfect match!"

**"Ggrrrrrmmmghhhh!"** Ranma protested against said observation.

And then Yuna intruded, looking down at Fate. "See what happens when you force our hand? Everybody loses, but well, at least you'll lose harder than everyone. Ten three-minute magic suppression bullets," she informed him. "Enjoy mortality."

Then she was joined by Murakami, who tried her best to look bewilderingly smug, sticking to her role despite the commotion going on right behind her. "You have been weighed, you have been measured, and you have been found wanting," she declared, unfolding the crumpled-up piece of paper she had retrieved, one with the words "Fate-sensei's Dignity" written on it. "Welcome to the Old World. Jerk."

"Scatter! I'll take charge from here!" cried Haruna, and the two girls were all too happy to disappear.

**"Bbbrrrffmffff!" **Ranma said.

Fate decided that he would lay there for a while. It seemed the smarter move, since he doubted trying to flee would do much other than finishing hurting his dignity. The Saotome girl was saying something near her brother's ear which seemed to calm him down slowly, out of which Fate only could tell the word 'Mom' out.

Fate closed his eyes and waited patiently, until he heard Ranma's snort, and felt a relatively soft punt to his cheek, which still stung like one of Negi's best punches. "So he's been sorta Moxabusted, right?" he heard him ask.

"Yeah, basically," Haruna nodded, wrapping the jacket her brother had lent her. "And rest assured, I'd never have enough bad taste as to do him. You of all people should know how often you can end up naked while fighting someone! Can we go now? I'll explain everything elsewhere, in private, please," she nasally whined.

Ranma huffed as he kept prodding Fate's body with a foot, warily. "I'm not sure."

"The rest of the girls will punish him from here on," she said.

Ranma winced. Having been on the wrong side of 3-A's wrath once before, back when everyone thought his female form was out to seduce Negi-sensei, he knew, even if he would never admit it, those harpies could enact harsh revenge on anyone even far better than he could.

On the other hand, precisely because of that, it'd feel awful leaving even that guy in their hands ...

"You'll dearly pay for this," Fate weakly promised.

Ranma slammed a foot on his face, not nearly hard enough to knock him out, and then turned around, pulling Haruna away with himself.

"I'm all out of checks and fucks to give," he dryly said, before scooping Haruna up in his arms and leaping away with her.

Fate sighed and remained still where he was.

Then, he could clearly hear a lingering and not too distant echo of Ku Fei's voice saying _"... loving you ... loving you ... loving you ..."._

Fate's nude form twitched.

* * *

Meanwhile, several blocks away, three girls were walking out of an apartment in a certain building where they had left a certain ruggedly handsome teacher.

With a pleasant smile, Tenjouin Saki turned around one last time to give Takahata-sensei, who sat on a chair rubbing the bridge of his nose, a final look and some parting words. "Well, as long as you are here, you should be safe, Sensei. No one will think of looking for you here! If there is anything else you'd like?"

He shook his head, keeping his unfocused gaze low. "No, thank you, I'm fine as it is. Just ... call me if there's some disturbance that would require for my help, will you, Tenjouin-kun?"

She nodded. "Of course! But I'm sure nothing like that will arise, Sensei. You worry simply too much. Enjoy your stay." Her smile, for a moment, became downright devious and mischievous, not that he could get a good look at it, even in the event he had looked up. And so, as she exited the room for good, closely followed as always by Aya and Rin, he closed his eyes and relaxed, until proper paranoia sank back into him.

* * *

"Kagurazaka-san?" Saki said through her cellphone, while the three girls left the old building behind, "He's in position as you requested. Enjoy yourself ... well, and him," she said, with the air of sympathy of one older men admirer to another. Kagurazaka had sworn she'd help her with Zastin-sama later, not to mention another bout with the also admittedly handsome Negi-sensei, and so a deal had been established.

* * *

Takahata had been relieved enough by the students' offer of relief and rest from the chase that he hadn't noticed how... rehearsed it sounded until after they guided him to the building and left him there. He recognized it by the smell - the old teacher dormitories where he'd lived in the earliest years of his employment here, with Asuna at first. The familiarity also distracted him from considering the possibility that this was a trap of some sort. It wasn't until now that the students had gone on their way that the also old and familiar alarms of danger began blaring in his head once more.

Reviewing all of this, he decided that he probably shouldn't stay here. But just as he began to sit up, the lights in the room turned off, robbing him of nearly all the vision he'd had. Naturally, he froze. And then he felt something soft, fabric-like, slipping over his face, cutting off the last traces of sight he possessed. A mask? Who'd put a mask on-

"Be quiet, you," a curt, yet unmistakably feminine, voice asked him from behind, making a bad impression of a raspy mugger from a Hollywood movie. "Don't move or you'll regret it, you, errm, fucker?"

Behind the mask, Takamichi blinked. He thought he recognized that voice, from the couple of times he had visited Negi in that club he sponsored. "Mikazuki-kun?" he guessed aloud.

"... N-NO!" she said, with a violent gasp. "I don't even know any, any Mikazuki Yozora, I mean, I've admired her from afar because, because she's so beautiful, but we've never-! Oh, hell, you just stay put there or else!" He heard her quickly scurrying away before he could reply.

What in the world was going on here?

And then he felt the fastener of his trousers coming undone, and their zipper sliding down. His jaw dropped. This had been nowhere on the list of things he'd even remotely considered as a possibility ... except, wait, no, he was getting ahead of himself, surely there was a simpler explanation. Yes, and actually, this one made sense - someone had gotten assigned 'Takahata-sensei's trousers' and this was simply a way for them to take them without having him know who was doing so, because-

And then he felt his boxers being tugged down.

* * *

Mikazuki Yozora breathed like a possessed woman as she ran away from the building, hiding her face between her hands. Damn those roommates of Sensei, they had her by the figurative throat, knew all her dirty secrets, and were so damn good at cunnilingus, too, and then there was Kagurazaka's sob story. When they gave her an urgent call saying one of their classmates couldn't fulfill her part in their latest insane scheme, claiming they needed her to replace her, she wanted to refuse so badly, but how could she?

_"Oh, come on, it's just slipping a mask on a guy's head from behind! That's all!" Kagurazaka had protested. "How can you deny us that after all we've done for you?"_

Yozora clenched her teeth angrily as she ran. Well, now she had done it, so they were even, right? Yeah, of course, now she wouldn't have to worry about any of that anymore, now she was free, at least until the next time they needed her for, noooooo, perish the thought, from there on, she'd never -

Shiguma Rika finally caught up to her. "So, what were you doing there, Sempai?" she curiously asked.

Yozora screeched to a halt and yelled. "YAAAAA! What, what are you doing here?!"

Rika stopped as well. "Um, well, you suddenly slipped away from the Club after getting a mysterious call, so Rika grew curious, and then Kodaka-sempai grew worried about your disappearance, and Sena-sempai wouldn't look for you, and Yukimura-san wouldn't leave Kodaka-sempai, so using this -" Rika held up a strange small device that bleeped and glowed brightly as it was pushed closer to Yozora. "- Rika tracked you to what Rika could identify as Takahata-sensei's old apartment from Rika's extensive academic databanks. Just as Rika saw Tenjouin Saki-sempai and two of her cohorts leaving -"

A blushing Yozora tightened her hands around Rika's mouth and squeezed. "Shut up!"

"But you demanded an explanation from Rika!" Rika said, although it came out as "Bhhh yhhh dmnd uhn xplntn frm Rhkk!" instead.

Yozora kept squeezing, frantically trying to think of what to do next, until she saw Rika's face growing dark blue. And then a second or two longer. Then she finally released it, with a hissed warning of "Keep it low!"

"Haaaanhhh! Haaaaanhhh!" Rika panted, supporting herself against a tree. "Sempai, you'd be glorious at sexual suffocation techniques, you know? Yes, Rika think you would be a natural."

Yozora was about to protest angrily and issue a few blatant threats, when Rika asked, out of the blue, "So, was Sempai having illicit sex with a teacher, then?"

"Whaaaa-? NOOO! Who, who told you about Negi-sensei?!"

Rika blinked. "Negi-sensei? Rika was talking about Takahata-sensei."

"NOOOO! I haven't ever had sex with Takahata-sensei!"

"So, only with Negi-sensei, then?" Rika asked with a catty smile, her glasses fogging up. "And you know where is he now? Oh-ho-ho, that's very interesting, indeed!"

"It's not like that at all, you idiot!" Yozora growled, her hands gesturing as if she was about to strangle the shorter girl. Again.

"Actually, yes, it is, isn't it?" an accusing voice startled them. They spun around to look at a stone faced Tohsaka Rin standing a few feet apart, arms folded, frowning sternly. "Are you involved in that as well? I can't believe it!"

"I, I, I can't, I don't know what you're talking-" Mikazuki babbled, recognizing that girl as one of the wealthy and popular ones that were one of the many banes of her existence. Then she felt Tohsaka's sharp glare fiercely drilling into her eyes, and she let her head hang in utter defeat. "Why me? I'm such a nice, agreeable person! And victim!" she whimpered.

Rika grinned and slammed her hands together. "Ah-hah! Victory, sweet, highly stimulating and exciting victory! Rika knew it!"

"Quiet, you!" the other two girls barked at once.

* * *

Oniichan had carried her all the way to her dorm room, managing to slip into the female residence without being detected; in addition to his rather acceptable skills for stealth, everyone living there was out at the moment, after all. He had plopped her down on the bed, stood before her, and, unlike most men who drop a beautiful young woman on a bed, demanded for explanations rather than a blowjob.

So Haruna had explained, but for some reason or another, that still hadn't made him happy.

Ranma paced back and forth before her, fast and nervous. "I can't believe you!" he said.

Haruna made a frown. "You, the guy who fell into a gender-altering magical spring, the guy who once wore a cursed magical swimsuit, the guy who once ate magical age changing mushrooms, the guy who got magical duplicates from magical mirrors, can't believe Nagi-kun is Negi-kun with his age altered by magic?"

"I can't believe it, because that's right the kind of lie you'd tell me to calm me down!" Ranma said. "You know I think your kid teacher was an okay, decent and normal little guy, so you're spinning that story about him being that sleazeball who hangs around with the twerp you were kissing to throw me off!"

Haruna, now wearing her brother's jacket and pants, stared at him, who bristled in nothing but his undershirt and boxers. It was hardly an unpleasant sight, brother or not, but there were lines even she wouldn't think of ever crossing, and besides, any thoughts of that nature were drowned by her frustration. She held her Pactio card up. "Do you want a demonstration of what this thing can do?"

"What does that have to do with-"

A moment later, Haruna drew a cat. A tiny, adorable brown kitten. Another moment later, Ranma crouched on top of her closet in abject terror, turning away from the kitten that meowed in Haruna's arms. "See?" she told him. "I wouldn't love to you about my pure, honest, boundless, selfless love for Negi-kun! And this is the fruit of our passions!"

"Getthatthingawayfrom me nownownownow!" Ranma cried, trying to bury his face into the wall.

Haruna dispelled the kitten and smiled. "You can come down now, Onii-chan. Seriously, that's just like you, being always so afraid of pussy."

He shot her a deadly glare as he climbed down. "Funny. Oh so funny. I'm freaking mad at you now!"

"Mad as in Mad at Ryouga, as in Mad at Mousse, or as in Mad at Kuno?"

"As in Mad at Happosai!"

Haruna winced. "I'm that bad?"

"Yes, you are!" he yelled. "You have disgraced our family! Our honor! You have kissed a little boy to gain power, and then you actually... you actually... you actually SLEPT with him! And with other girls, too!"

"There you go, as homophobic as ever," she rolled her eyes.

"Do you have any idea what will Mom say at this? She'll make us commit seppuku!"

"So what? Here's a hint, Ranma, the times where you had to kill yourself just because someone, mother or not, told you to do so have passed! Right now, a mother who pressures a child of hers into that would have her ass tossed into jail! I love Mom, but I don't have to and won't put up with that kind of bull just because you did!"

He grew ghastly pale. "But ... but ... but you'd be kicked out of the family! At least, at the very least, to wash your honor, you'd have to marry that ... guy ..."

"Say what?"

"You just said you loved him, didn't you?"

"Errrrmmm ... yes, of course I do! But that doesn't mean -!"

"Right. That's good. So you'll marry the little creep so you can have your little creeps like a normal honorable family or else I swear I'll kick his ass into the continent!"

"You'd do what?" she laughed. "Onii-chan, I think you don't have the slightest idea of how strong Negi-kun is now?"

He bumped his fists together and snarled. "How 'bout I test him?"

"Don't you dare," she growled. "The poor thing's already got too many important things into his mind now."

"Like seeing how many of you he can screw?!"

"Well, excuse us for not being as sexually repressed as you!"

"I'm not... se... sex... I'm not repressed!"

"Oh God, you can't even say the fucking word! No wonder you never can make Akane-nee happy!"

For a moment, he looked about to actually slap her. "Don't ever say that again about-"

"What?" she challenged, with her fists on her hips. "That she needs a good damn fuck to hopefully take the bitchiness outta her? Well, I'm saying that right now, because it's the fucking truth, and if you don't like it, too fucking bad! Of course, seeing how much you enjoy her slapping and punching you, no doubt you wouldn't want that ! That's the only way you ever can be in any sort of physical contact!"

Ranma was livid in outrage. The Happosai Levels had been left behind long ago by now. "I swear, if you weren't a girl AND my sister -!"

"But I am, whether you like it or not!"

Then she truly expected for him to yell 'NOT ANYMORE!' and she was already thinking of a good, very biting comeback, when she instead saw him doing the unthinkable. He buried his face into a hand, and let out something that was very clearly a long, pained sob.

"Ranma?" she asked.

"I'm sorry," he quietly, darkly said. "I never was around for you. When ... when Dad took me away with him, you only were a baby, and when we met again, you ... whatever happened to you must have been too deeply ... what's the word ..."

"... engrained?" she offered.

"Yeah, that, I guess ... too deeply engrained into you by then. I'm sorry, Haruna. I know Mom must have tried her best to raise you alone, but women obviously need a strong man or two around to -"

She gave him a very Takahashi-esque kick to the face. "There you go again, you hopeless sexist pig!"

"I'm not the pig, that's ... never mind," he sighed, taking the bare foot from his face. "I'm sorry I never could be that man, Haruna. I'm sorry, because of me, you are now this way and -"

"But I'm happy being this way!"

"You are? You think so, but -"

"No, fucking really! I don't want to be like you or Mom and Dad, always chained by that stupid honor crap! I want to be with my friends and teacher, living the life I chose for myself! As a great conqueror, a peerless heroine, a ... a ... a free woman! I don't want you, or anyone else, choose who I'm going to marry! Because I've seen what that has done to you, and I really pity you, Ranma!"

"No one pities me, because there's no -"

She placed her hands on his cheeks. "Again, too fucking bad, because I do," she softly told him. "I love you, Oniichan, no matter how different we are. But I feel bad for the path you've decided to follow. No doubt you feel the same for me, but... please respect my path, just like I still respect yours."

"Haruna, I-" he began, and then they heard steps and voices from right outside. He grew tense, with a feral snarl. "That's him! Now I'll show him!"

"You'll do nothing!" she hissed, wrapping her hands tightly around Ranma's mouth and forcefully pulling him back with herself, into the room's closet, which she slammed close behind them. To his credit, she only could do so because he was still completely unwilling to fight her back. But those considerations mattered little one second after, when, while he still had her hands closing his big mouth, 'Nagi' and Ku Fei tumbled together into the room.

* * *

"So, since you have kindly bothered to bring Rika here," Rika started, quite reasonably in her own opinion, while she sat at Tohsaka Rin's table opposite the owner of the house and the incredibly sour looking Yozora, "it is obvious you have plans to explain things throughly to Rika, and Rika is thankful for that, because right now, Rika's curiosity is reaching levels even Rika herself never suspected it could reach."

The jaded Yozora looked directly at Tohsaka, who, she was fairly sure by now, belonged to that strange magical subculture Yozora had started learning about. "You can do that mindwipe thing mages use to get rid of troublesome people, can't you?"

"I'm still deciding if you count as 'troublesome people' as well, so you'd better watch your words," Rin told her.

"Is this about the unorthodox fringe activities Hakase-san has employed in her robotic research?" asked Rika. "Rika has seen enough of her developments to realize she had tapped into sources of dubious scientific value, and yet they also seem valid enough to be of proper help in the creation and growth of the Karakuri unit. That is what you would call 'magic', isn't it?"

Rin frowned, an eyebrow twitching. "Clever little thing, I see."

"Why, thank you. Rika tries her best!" she coquettishly said, with a hand on her own cheek.

"I wasn't flirting, it was just-!" Rin protested, before melting into a sigh. "Forget it. Let's just start comparing notes before we decide on anything, okay? I know Nagi-sensei has been lately involved in activities of a questionable moral nature. Now, while I was looking into the case of his roommate Kagurazaka-san-"

"You mean stalking her?" asked Rika.

"It's not stalking! Just making sure of what she was doing today, for the sake of our whole community!" Rin snapped. "Anyway, while I was doing that, I found you carelessly talking about ... that in the open, and I find out not only YOU," she said that with a vigorous finger-poking at Yozora's forehead, "but even Takahata-sensei have been dragged into it! That could have terrible consequences for everyone, so I want the whole damn truth, and I want it now!"

Yozora's eyes went impossibly wide. "Who ever told you -"

"That shouldn't concern you!" the young magus replied. "Just tell me what I want to know!"

"Yes, yes, tell us!" Rika excitedly said.

"Shut up, you!" Rin grumbled.

Yozora sighed. "Fine, whatever, you got me. This was a crappy school anyway, and I'm sure I'll enjoy myself much more at juvie. This is what I know on the subject, who are involved into it, and how I was dragged it completely against my will, losing my innocence forever..."

_Rather later:_

"Wow. You are a royal grade A fucking slut, Sempai," an impressed Rika said. And then she made a juicy, highly delirious with glee sound. "Rika never suspected you were soooooooo cool! And sexy! Rika's impression of you has improved oh so considerably!"

"Your approval fills me with shame," Yozora deadpanned.

Rin blinked. "Wow. Oh, just... wow. Even the Student Council President and the queen bee of the campus!"

"Well, the former has never been with him herself, but yeah, they have become parts of the same web," Yozora conceded. "Do you see now? If this becomes of public knowledge, the very foundations of the school's social system will shatter! The established order will be broken beyond repair! And - on second thought, it might be worth it after all. Mock me now, will you, campus? Ostracize me and everything? Well, let's see how much you enjoy your precious idols being dragged through the mu-"

"SILENCE!" Tohsaka slammed a hand on the table. "Are you crazy? That would be a complete disaster, not only for Mahora, but far beyond as well! Dammit, Tate never mentioned it went that far-"

"- Tate?" Yozora asked.

Rin bit her tongue. "I didn't say anything."

"No, you did," Yozora insisted. "Who the hell is that-"

"I SAID NOTHING, I SAID!"

"- that's a contradiction on itself, you kn-"

"SHUT UP!"

Rika blinked. "Tate Yuuichi, former President of the Kendo Club until a serious injury forced him into retirement last year, right?" asked Rika. When the other girls stared at her, she smiled. "Rika may be a chronic loner by choice, but Rika also has a complete database of all sexually attractive students and staff members in the campus! And sometimes, Rika will Photoshock their pictures for masturbatory purposes!"

"What," said Rin, quite unblinking.

"You are in that database as well," Rika said, in a genuine attempt to praise.

"Uuuuhhhh..."

"Although you are quite the bad host," Rika added, with a small petulant pout. "Ever since you brought us here, you haven't offered Rika and Sempai anything in the way of refreshments. Not even some snacks, or a drink, or sex-"

"Or what?!" Rin yelled.

"Well, since Sempai is apparently highly sexually active, and your expertise on rampant sexuality seems to point towards you sharing that tendency, Rika was hoping you would take the chance to finally ravish Rika, who sadly remains lacking any actual sexual intercourse with human beings. For some reason, Rika's advances always seem to scare suitors away."

"Gee, and I always wonder why," Yozora mumbled.

Rin's face grew beet red. "If you want sex so much, go ask Negi-sensei and his merry gang! I doubt they'd reject anyone, even you!"

"... Negi-sensei?" asked Rika.

"Nagi-sensei is actually Negi-sensei," muttered Yozora, who by now saw little point on keeping the rest of the secrets. Odds were they would all be mindwiped shoftly after anyway, if they were lucky.

"Oh," Rika said. "But how-"

"Magic!" Yozora barked.

"That fails to explain anything," the petite perverted scientist huffed. "But I see you are as obtuse about supplying answers for the advancement of science as you are about providing sexual relief for a clubmate in need..."

"Oh, for fuck's sake!" Yozora cried, violently standing up. "Sex, sex, sex! That's all you ever care about, isn't it! You think it's so great, don't you? Well, I'll fucking show you, then! You want sex? Alright, I'll finally give you your fucking sex!"

Rin backed away, reaching for some gems at the random reaction of the girl, mostly ignorant of the fact it was the result of many days of growing and mounting tension. Tension that now exploded as Yozora, simply not giving a shit anymore, took a fierce grab of Rika's arms and tugged her towards herself, smashing her lips cruelly against hers.

Rika's ponytail stood up on end.

So did Rin's pigtails, for that matter.

* * *

Of course, the closet door HAD TO have slits. And of course, Haruna had to settle herself with Ranma inside in such a way she held him from behind, breasts smashed against his back, hands tightly holding his waist, all but bashing his face against said slits as she whispered threats into his ear, most of them involving creative castration. So he could see and hear, almost completely, what the newcomers were doing right then.

The teacher and his student kissed passionately as they made their way to the beds, their clothes falling from them as they went. By the time that they collapsed to the lower mattress, Negi was only in his undershirt and trousers, while Fei's bra hung loosely on her stomach, just above her panties, exposing her small and firm breasts to his sight. He promptly bent down to take one of the dark brown nipples in his mouth.

Ranma was about to yell right then, but the scream died in his mouth.

"Ahh!" Ku gasped at the feeling that ensued. "So ... so strange, this. First time I ever touched by man not trying to hit me ... oh that sound so wrong when I say it ... like I like being hurt ..."

Negi paused, looked up at her. She avoided his gaze. He considered his next action carefully ... then, as gently as possible, bit down.

She screamed. "Negi-bouzu! Bad, bad! No do that -"

So of course he did it to the other one as well.

Haruna was craning her neck up to look over Ranma's shoulder, and she let out a loud hiss of visual pleasure. Without even realizing it, her grip on Ranma's body tightened even more.

"Mmmmm!" Ku gasped, hand over her mouth to hold in the scream this time. That she could do that told him that she wasn't really upset, rather the contrary. But... well, this was all a bit much for Negi. The whole reason he'd been unwilling to fight back against her, after all, was the fact that he didn't want to hurt his students, even if they knew what they were getting into.

It may be that he could no longer be their teacher... but they'd always be his students.

"All right," he said, just a bit hoarsely, as he reached down to her panties, pushing them a bit to the side and rubbing at what lay beneath to confirm that it was lubricated enough. "This is probably going to hurt a little bit, too."

She sniffled. "Okay," she said. "I strong. I can take it. It nooooooh wow wow wow," she said as his own pants opened up and she saw the it she was thinking about taking. _That_ was supposed to go inside her? Seriously?

Ranma blinked, getting a good long at that thing, and then looked down at the bulge in his own boxers. His was bigger, wasn't it? To his growing annoyance, he realized Haruna was looking in that very same direction, too, and from what little he could see of her expression, she was deeply considering... something.

"Hey," he began to growl.

_"Hush!"_ Haruna urged him quietly, but he could feel all too well how fast her heartbeat was.

"Don't you get any-" Ranma started, right before one of Haruna's arms wrapped itself around his neck instead, and tugged, just hard enough to keep him under wraps. Then she cruelly bit on one of his earlobes, and he shuddered. It'd be hella hard to explain things if anyone ever found them like that...

"We don't have to do anything if -" Negi began to say, genuinely hoping that this time, _this time,_ the girl would see reason and avoid this precipice - but he didn't have to finish, for he could tell from the suddenly stubborn look on Fei's face that this time was going to be just like all the others.

She promptly rattled off something in Chinese far too quickly for his limited understanding of the language, then added, in Japanese, "A warrior knows no pain! Show no mercy for none shall you receive!" Through clenched teeth, both for the sake of ferocity and to stop them from chattering.

"All right," Negi said regretfully, not even bothering to sigh this time. He reached down, took hold of himself, and pressed its tip to the entrance of her vulva. With a deep breath, he pushed up and into her.

Ranma made a choked half-scream of surprise that went unheard by the lovers due to the high pitch of Fei's scream.

Haruna panted as she watched, and she began to forget things, things she always had felt and upheld, standards she had held onto for years, against her custom.

Let's say, for instance, Haruna had ever happened to hear Asuna saying that her mother (which was absurd, because the girl was an orphan, right) had propositioned her sexually, and while we're at it, to make the fantasy even more lurid and wrong, let's also say Negi was Asuna's little brother (what a laugh!) and she was being offered sex with him as well. Sure enough, as Haruna knew well, her reaction to it would always have been:

_"Are you going to call the police, or would you rather I did it?"_

Right, because as sexy as incest was in doujin, in real life it was sick and wrong, and that had been one of the few principles all of her mother's efforts had managed to slam into her mind, and yet now she was, a grown teenager with another teenager, mind, trapped in there watching such a sexy display, and surely it wasn't as bad as Negi's case would have been, because Ranma was no child, and his suitors were all such bitches, and Gods she felt so hot and sweaty and she couldn't restrain herself.

Negi promptly planted his lips on Ku's to muffle the sound of her scream as he began to move back and forth. Her arms came up and wrapped tightly around him, clawing at his shoulder blades in ways that would probably have been very painful to anyone who wasn't basically invulnerable. The way that her hips clenched around his, tightening her passage in the process, was a bit painful, actually- that particular area was not _quite_ as impervious to pain as the rest of him.

He pulled back, to ask if she wanted him to stop, and saw that her eyes had rolled up in her head and her jaw was hanging loose. Negi correctly deduced that he wouldn't get much in the way of conversation from her at the moment. Left with no other option, he kept on pounding into her, varying the pace a little- as he'd learned from practice, many girls liked that sort of variety, and from the incoherent noises that Fei was making, she was that way as well.

Ranma began choking and sputtering on his saliva, and he pressed a foot against the door, ready to kick it open... and right then, realizing what he was about to do, Haruna pulled him further back with herself, and decided to take a drastic measure only to stop him the only way she could, because she was his poor little loving Imouto-chan, so much weaker than him, not because she suddenly desired his hot athletic forbidden and wrong body or anything, nope.

And so, Haruna's right hand went deep into the boxers and took a shaky but strong grip of the swollen manhood in there.

Ranma almost screamed, but she was faster for once, and smothered his lips with hers, closing her eyes as her tongue went into his mouth.

The boy, who after all was a boy with years of pent-up tension even the most inhuman regime of training couldn't quite fully drain, tensed for a moment to almost painful levels before relaxing in the arms of the girl he just couldn't bring himself to hurt. No more than he could ever hurt ...

... Akane ...

He tried to struggle free, desperately, but then the hand on his member was pumping it fiercely, and she was growling something into his ear, and her other hand yanked the boxers down to his knees to immediately caress and fondle his balls, and he just lost it.

With an agressive growl, he turned around in the tight darkness, stared into the eyes of the girl who had stolen something he had been saving for another, and pressed her against the wall. She moaned in anticipation, and her lack of fear or regret only frustrated him more. He literally tore the jacket off her body (after all, he reasoned, it was his, to do whatever he wanted with it), as she squirmed out of the pants she had borrowed from him, which softly fell around her ankles. And, with another animalistic sound, he pushed his hips ahead, and in the first try, he entered her. She groaned in completion, and then went on to pant in synchrony with him, and with the other two right outside.

For a moment, Negi thought he had heard something very strange coming from the closet, something that almost sounded like Haruna, but his attempt to look in that direction was short lived, as he felt the sensations which told him that his climax was about to be upon them both. He cried out, "It's coming! It's coming! Where-"

She grunted and pulled him more tightly against herself, so that he sprayed up into her. As he did so, she made a noise that he'd never heard before, something between a sigh and and a sustained high note.

"I hope ... I hope this was a safe day," he said to her, after a moment.

"Fret not," she said, eyes still on the ceiling rather than his. "We have beautiful, powerful children when we married."

There was a rather loud sneeze and a 'Gesunheidt!' coming from inside the closet now, and this time both of them could hear it. Negi's protests on the nature of what he would have considered to be a mere example of Chinese humor were filed away for the moment, as both warriors quickly came up, assuming defense stances and approaching the rattling closet from which boomed shouts of incoherent pleasure step by careful step. Like a well trained battle unit, they didn't even need to exchange a word. Neither was there the time or inclination to reach for clothes.

"Coming, coming, coming, cumming!" they clearly could hear Haruna's voice now, as she was quickly pounced into, breasts bouncing wildly. And then there was a masculine, hoarse roar like that of a mighty tiger, and the closet shook so violent it fell off, landing with a crash between Negi and Ku's bare feet.

The two of them stared, dumbfounded, at the fallen closet door for a moment, before a fist punched a hole through its back, and a very naked Saotome Ranma emerged from it, protectively clutching a very naked (glasses aside) and satisfied looking Haruna, who snuggled against his hard pecs making tiny mewing sounds.

Both boys stared blankly at each other, and their faces became matching seas of crimson.

"... aru?" Ku Fei said, her eyes reduced to black dots.

And finally, there was a soft click of a key on the room's door, and a moment later, slowly, Konoka, Nodoka (thankfully not the one named Saotome), and Yue each bent over to look into the room, with varied, yet all of them very unusual and interesting on themselves, expressions on their faces...

* * *

"I... I can't believe you!" an aghast Rin gasped aloud. "Are you just going to do that right in front of me, in my own freaking house?!"

Yozora paused in her rough, mean, kissing and undressing of a sighing Rika to groan at Tohsaka. "So, whatcha gonna do? Do you think I will care if I'm mindwiped and forget all these events that have turned my life around to the point I'm doing THIS? Then you're welcOMMMMPH!" she said as Rika, hungry for more and unwilling to wait, pulled her in for a new brash kiss.

It annoyed Yozora, as much as the whole situation annoyed Rin, that Rika didn't seem to be fazed or discouraged by her violent advances, and instead relished them, paying her in the same clumsy but effective coin. True, maybe it was to be expected given Rika's general attitude, but after hearing she was a virgin after all, Yozora had bet on her old unspoken hunch about the perv being far more bark than bite. Why did she have to keep challenging and foiling Yozora's expectations in so many unexpected ways?

And yet it was too late now to pull back without losing face, and so Yozora allowed herself to be pulled along on a couch by a madly giggling Rika, who was pulling her shirt open, and then pulling on Yozora's bra with her freaking teeth...

Rin, the veteran of a Grail War, the woman who had defeated a Servant in close quarters combat, watched on helplessly, powerless, as the two girls torridly kissed and suckled on each other's small breasts before sighing her defeat. Standing up, she began stripping before those two nearly complete strangers, neither of whom seemed to be paying her much attention, until she was reduced to her black stockings, and then she approached them, swaying her hips enticingly without realizing it. Definitely, Sakura was a bad influence on her.

As Rika huffed and puffed and rubbed her private parts against Yozora's in a way learned from many an adult movie, Rin grabbed the Mikazuki girl by her short black hair and pulled her mouth towards her vulva. "I'm not going to erase your memory," she told her. "Otherwise, you'd forget the day when I put you in your damn place. You think you can use my ancestral home as your love motel without my- ahhhh," she exhaled as Yozora's tongue, tentatively at first, began paying her the rights for usage of her house.

"Oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck that's so fucking hot, ah ah ah yes! UNIVEEEEEERSEEEEEEEE!" Rika shrieked, raching her back and achieving a trembling orgasm. After which she was pushed back lying face up, and two mouths quickly darted down to lap on the liquids leaking out of her.

* * *

_Meanwhile, near the Church, under the old orange trees:_

Kashiwazaki Sena smiled proudly as the Neighbors' Club (and a replacement honor member to augment its currently diminished ranks) secured the child teacher they had just caught. "See? Do you see now? I told you, once we left the Weasel Woman behind, our luck would return to us! It's thanks to the absence of her distractions we have reached this great success, under my leadership! Oh, ho ho ho!" Boing boing, her big breasts went with her laugh.

"Yes, we are all worried about her and Shiguma-san, sempai," Yukimura quietly said.

"I'M NOT WORRIED! SHE COULD STAY LOST FOREVER FOR ALL I CARE!" the blonde quickly snapped, her face becoming taut with naked tension.

Kodaka sighed. "Is this anything to be proud of, at all?"

Takayama Maria kicked around helplessly, trying to punt any of the big bullies who had tied her up, which was all she could do with her arms immobilized as they were. "Heathens! Philisteians or whatever they're called! Enemies of the Church and God! You only could catch me while I was napping!" she bawled, making Kodaka feel even worse.

"Fu fu fu..." Hasegawa Kobato chuckled, still drawing doodles on Maria's face. "Cry, cry, lapdog of the Vatican! Reisys VI Felicity Sumeragi can easily take on you and ten more like you! Bring on your crosses and other symbols of a dead faith, for I shall readily crush them! Bwa ha ha ha ha!"

So busy was she gloating she never noticed Kodaka and Sena's sudden gasps until the sneakily approaching Sisters Shakti and Kate were looming right over her...

* * *

"Then, was that incredibly good and mind blowing, or what?" Rika asked, smirking kittenishly and resting on her side, a hand on a bare hip.

Resting in each other's arms, Rin and Yozora growled as one. "Shut the hell up!"

"Rika will take that as a yes..."

* * *

Ashikaga Yuki dragged his tired steps towards the SOS Brigade's headquarters, taking his long wig off as soon as he thought it was safe to do so. His feminine clothes were in a state of mild disarray, and his body posture spoke of great unrest and the onslaught of stress and physical pressure. He was going to quit this crossdressing stunt, he really was going to, no matter what the other boys or Suzumiya-san might-

He heard a voice that didn't belong to any of the Brigade's members coming from the room shortly before reaching it. "-I think that's a fair warning," a girl, it had to be a girl, was coldly saying.

"Don't fairly warn me," Suzumiya-sempai was replying, in a firm yet careless tone. "Don't you have faith in her? If you're so sure everything will come out as you expected it, then why to worry, and more importantly, why to take it out on me? Why don't you go out back and try enjoying the rest of the Festival? Oh, I forgot it, you can't do the 'Enjoying' thing anymore, can you?"

There was a silence that even Yuki, without actually seeing them, could feel as piercing and chilling. Then, a moment later, a rather slim, pale girl with long black hair left the room, walking away and hardly giving Yuki a passing glance as she stepped by him. It was only after she was gone he realized, much to his horror, he had forgotten to put the wig back on, although she never seemed to notice it.

"Come in," Suzumiya's voice, far less amused now, commanded, so he obeyed.

"Who was-" he began stuttering.

"Doesn't matter," Haruhi, who was there alone with him, the rest of the Brigade nowhere to be seen, sharply interrupted. "What have you found out? What have you foiled?"

"Ummmm, not much, actually. Everyone went their separate ways with their own teams once the game started, so I couldn't really tail anyone ... I tried my best, but ... c-come to think about it, why aren't you playing?"

"I was. Then she called me here. So I called you," she sighed, sitting behind a computer and sighing, fingers playing with the keys. "So you don't have anything to report? What a pity, and we had branded you as the star of our next student movie, too." From the way her fingers tapped on harder each time, he could clearly see her impatience.

Outside, the skies had grown slightly darker.

"I ran into a few ... personal problems," he looked down, playing with the wig in his hands. "There's this girl who's been really kind to me, and I happened to run into her, so naturally she thought I was my own cousin, and then Kuno-sempai showed up..."

Haruhi leaned back, folding her arms. "Keep your conquests to yourself, you little accidental stud/slut monkey," she sneered, as if convinced her comment would annoy some superior being who disliked those kinds of references, if that was indeed some sort of reference to begin with. It was a definitely strange thing to think right now, Yuki decided. "Or, better yet ..." She paused, humming in sudden contemplation.

Yuki took a wary step back. "W-What?" he warily asked.

She gave him her best (or should it be said 'worst' instead?) devilish smirk. "Yuu-chan, are you a virgin?"

Against his expectations-fears, it turned out she wasn't propositioning him sexually, at least not yet.

It was something even worse, instead.

* * *

**To be Continued in the Next Chapter**.


	8. Nui, Tsukuyomi, Ragyou, Rei

Akamatsu Ken and dozens of other talented (some more than others, granted, but all of them more talented than me) creators came up and/or own these characters.

No money is being made out of this, which surely won't please my loan sharks.

Thanks to Darkenning for the original concept, inspiration and proof reading for this story.

Disclaimer: There are no actual loan sharks after OverMaster. Yet.

* * *

**Side Conquests of an Accidental Stud Monkey**.

**Episode Eight**.

* * *

The short boy with dark gray hair rushed through the campus, jumping from shadow to shadow, from hiding place to hiding place, as the late afternoon fell over Mahora. Camera in hand, brave smirk in mouth, he moved with studied grace and skill through his chase, stopping occasionally to take well placed snapshots of the most remarkable events in the heated war between teachers and students.

He had been combing the campus through most of the day, relentless, with energy and drive far greater than his thin, weak complexion would have suggested. And even now, he barely sweated.

Always moving, fast and silent, and yet never losing the strategic placement of the hair bang over his left eye.

Finally, he reached his true goal. He found her on a rooftop, overlooking the campus with her back turned at him, smiling as she witnessed her handwork.

Perhaps, had Chachamaru not been so focused on watching over Sakurako and Fate, she would have noticed him sneaking behind Sayo and Asakura. As it happened, the former ghost was the first one to realize his presence, turning around with a quiet yelp of surprise.

The redhead reacted instantly, looking back as well. She had been honing her detection skills greatly during her Mundus Magicus adventure and afterwards, so it honestly surprised her that short kid had been able to catch her unaware. Well, it was too late to hide the drone cameras surrounding her, but if he asked, she always could explain them away as some of Hakase's toys. "What the-? Hey, hey, what are you doing here? Shouldn't you be with the others playing the game?"

"Oh, I'm afraid I have no club to play it with yet!" he chuckled softly, looking down at his feet. "That's why I was looking for you, actually, Asakura-san! And it took me quite a while! As expected from the star of the school newspaper!"

Kazumi frowned a little, feeling something was odd about that kid, even if she couldn't quite place her finger on it. "Are you trying out for the newspaper?"

"Oh, yes! That's why I've been taking pictures of the game all day long, hoping to amass a portfolio for you! I have several albums of my own already, of course, but I thought I should try coming to you with something that shows you I can build a large portfolio of a given situation just as it's happening." Shyly, nervously, he extended his camera up to her, with a spark of veneration in the right eye shown through the sole visible lens of his glasses.

"Aw, geez," Asakura said, as right behind her, Sayo shifted around in suspicion and dislike of the newcomer. "That's the spirit of a reporter, yeah, but I'm afraid you'll have to wait 'til this is done. Then I'll check your photos, I promise, but right now, well, I'm a bit busy. I don't think I've ever seen you before, by the way. What's your name?"

"Oh, that's no surprise, since I've just been transferred here. I know, it's late in the school year, but ... Mother decided that, not me! Not that I'm against it, since your school is as good looking as you! As for my name, well, you can call me Nagita Shinjiro!" he exclaimed, full of life and energy.

Sayo decided she really disliked that flirty girly-boy.

* * *

_Haruna and Ku Fei's bedroom, aka Ground Zero_.

"I can't believe it," Yue said, once she could talk. It was a very brief and plain sentence that, while summing up the core of her current situation, only barely scratched the whole of her conflicted, boiling feelings about what she'd just discovered. Anger, disgust, outrage, moral betrayal, sadness, and a bit of interesting excitement, all scrambled together in something Yue could only call 'being Haruna'ed'. "You know, Haruna, I keep coming to you with no expectations, and you still manage to disappoint them."

Haruna forced a smile that tried to be smug. "Being Ala Alba is about achieving the impossible."

Yue gestured with her hands, in the all too familiar impotence of having her point ignored. "Your own brother! You were doing it with **your own brother,** because Negi apparently wasn't enough for you!"

"But you never protested while we were-" Haruna began.

"That, that and **THIS** are completely different things!" Yue spat the words out. "For starters, we aren't related!"

"That's it!" Konoka clung to that faint hope. "You've just found out Ranma-san isn't your actual blood related brother! Right? Right?" She clenched an eerie, begging smile.

"Um ... nope, that ain't it," Haruna denied. "What do you think this is, a soap opera?"

Ranma hid his face between his hands and actually whined, too embarrassed to even argue anything, while Negi sat on the bed near him, also naked and torn between comforting him and beating him up for taking advantage of a dear student he was not feeling jealous towards, no way, no.

"Your nerve! Your freaking nerve! You know, I, I never thought I'd say this, but I can't think of any words to describe you! Nodoka? How, how would **YOU** describe this?"

_"Hot,"_ Nodoka said softly, in a fascinated tone.

Yue nodded strongly. "Yes, I agree, this is too hot ... wait, what?!"

Everyone else also stared at Nodoka's cutely blushing face, which had a slow enigmatic smile curving up her lips.

"H-Honya?" Ku Fei stammered.

"N-Nodoka-san...?" Negi echoed in his own way.

Nodoka quietly placed her hands together and said, each word calm and collected, "Ku-san, you have, ah, been with Negi, and only with Negi, so far, haven't you?"

"Ahhhh... yes?" Ku-san babbled. "Haruna and brother in closet this whole time."

"In every sense of the term," Haruna pointed out.

Ranma glared fiercely at her from between his fingers. "I'm not-"

"Then," Nodoka interrupted with a warm tender giggle directed only at Ku, "Welcome to the harem." And began to pull off her t-shirt.

"Ah?" said Fei, eyes gone all swirly.

"Way to go, Nodoka!" Haruna cheered wildly as she clasped both hands before her chest. "Isn't it great to go beyond silly petty feelings like jealousy and spite and resentment and -"

"Haruna, I know that it will be difficult, but could you please shut up?" Yue growled as she undressed as well, blushing brightly but unwilling to be left behind by her best friend and rival, even if said dear friend had obviously cracked under the recent pressure.

"What?" asked Fei bewilderedly.

"No, r-really, what the hell, are you actually going to do this before me?!" Ranma cried, covering his eyes with his hands.

"Well, you ARE part of our extended family, so there's no real reason to be that shy around you," Haruna reasoned.

Nodoka, now down to just her socks, ignored Ranma altogether and almost danced across the floor to the side of Ku's bed. "Now, Ku-san, I know that you're, well, not very smart - I hope I don't offend by calling you that."

"No, no offense taken," Fei said, blinking as Nodoka bent down over the two of them.

"Ah, good. Anyway, you might be not very smart, but did you really think that you got there first?" Nodoka asked, trying to sound as patient as possible.

Fei looked at Negi. Then at Nodoka. Then back at Negi. Then, slowly, she angled her perspective to take them both in. "Yes?" she said, in a way that implied she realized that this was in fact somewhat unlikely under the circumstances.

"Well, you weren't. But it's all right, because we're going to share, and I'm sure that the many, many other girls -"

Ranma yelled. "MANY, MANY?! What the hell this playboy's been up to?!"

"At least he hasn't done it with any relatives," Konoka calmly muttered.

"And there aren't that many," Negi interjected quietly.

"- won't mind you joining either." And with that promise, Nodoka bent down to kiss the other girl's dark nipples, taking one of them into her mouth and -

"AHH!" Fei shrieked. "B-b-bookstore-chan?!"

"Share and share alike," Nodoka said, before moving over to the other nipple.

"Okay, I'm calling dibs on Negi's negi right now, I didn't get nearly enough the other day," Haruna asserted. "The rest of you will just have to make do... man, it'd be convenient if we had another guy here..." This was said with a rather pointed stare towards her brother.

"Um, I, uh, I think I'll be, um-" he stammered, fumbling around while Konoka just stood there and stared back and forth between them all, as if the words had just been stolen from her mouth itself.

Haruna purred, folding her arms behind her back and pushing her chest up enticingly. "A real man, a hunk who can compete on even terms with Negi, who won't miss a chance to show us he's as much of a stud as him, if not even moreso."

"Uhhhh..." Ranma blurted, being rather familiar with the concept of baiting and yet still so powerless against it.

Before he could conclude her response, if he had been about to do so, Haruna was distracted when Yue, making an incredibly loud growl for someone so small, grabbed her by the hips, bit out the words, "Shut. UP," and pushed herself up high enough to slam her mouth against Haruna's. The tactic seemed to accomplish its goal, which was really all you could ask of any tactic.

Meanwhile, Konoka began slipping towards the door, looking a bit disturbed...

"Hey, Konoka, why aren't you naked yet?" Haruna stopped her with that simple question, spoken from between wet clashes of her mouth and Yue's.

"I..." the Konoe heiress lamely said, "... I think I'm going to look for, ah, for Setchan, so she can, ahhhh, join us, and... ahhhhhhhh..."

Finally, she sighed and began stripping down as well, because obviously things were always meant to be so screwed up no matter what, trying to escape them would be useless anyway.

And that's why sometimes the presence of a Wild Horse can be the want of a nail in the horsehoe that- ahhh, fuck it, we're getting tangled in our own metaphors, and you came here for the sex, didn't you?

* * *

As threatened, after a relatively brief bout of tongue wrestling with Yue, Haruna had moved her vitriolic best friend aside to settle on Negi's lap, impaling her cunt in his dick and then beginning to bounce up and down on it, moaning wildly as she did so. "Ohhhh yes Negi, yes yes yes!"

"We get it, you're enjoying it, no need to shout," Yue grumbled, seeing Nodoka had pushed Ku Fei on her back on the bed (something the Chinese student had to allow, or else it never could have been done) and now she was on all fours between Ku's spread legs, giving mouth service to the martial artist's vulva. Yue felt tempted to do the same to Nodoka in turn, but Nodoka's current angle would have made that difficult, and besides, her attention was caught by Konoka, now naked as a jaybird, kneeling down between the legs of the sputtering Ranma-san.

"What in the-" Yue voiced her shock weak but eloquently. "I thought, other than Negi-sensei, you didn't even like men..."

Konoka sighed. "It's not," she said, "a matter of liking them or not, not anymore. Besides," she added before anyone could ask what the fuck she meant, "Ranma-san is a guest and relative to a... sister of sorts in need of attention, while everyone else is unavailable to bestow it. That's why I have to do this," she detachedly explained, as she craned her head lower and her mouth began doing on Ranma's member what it had done several times on Negi's before.

"I, I don't need anyyyyy- yi-yi, yi yi yiiiiiiiiiiiii..." Ranma descended into incoherence as his fists bumped on his section of the bed, briefly touching Negi's ass, and Konoka's lingering tongue pulled him into Nirvana.

Meanwhile, Negi grunted and pushed up and up, against and into the laughing Haruna, whose big breasts bounced at left and right. Yue looked at them, then at Nodoka and Ku, then at Konoka and Ranma, and then she sighed. "Screw this," she said, far less verbose than usual, climbing onto the overcrowded bed as well, standing between Ranma and Konoka with her ass on Konoka's face and each foot on a side of the boy's hips, and finally pushing her almost hairless cunny against the Saotome School heir's mouth.

After all, she reasoned, Asuna was arguably closer to Negi than anyone else, and Asuna was going around having sex with other men now, wasn't she? It stood to reason, if Yue did the same, not only could she show Nodoka that she was actively working on being the kind of strong, liberated woman Negi-sensei favored, but she'd also spare Nodoka from having to do that herself, if only ...

... if only that stupid, even dumber than Kotaro brute would actually start doing anything that day, at least.

"Lick me. What are you waiting for?" Yue icily said, looking down in an unforgiving way, and Saotome Ranma, skilled and fearless champion over Herb and Saffron, could do nothing but obey very quietly and clumsily.

Negi kept pumping up into Haruna until a long drawn moan of hers told him he had just climaxed, after which he finally could let himself go as well. Practice and application of the same mental discipline used for fighting and training had helped him to become nearly infallible at holding his ejaculation back until the exact desired moment, and he allowed himself a short inner congratulation as Haruna rolled off him.

Looking aside, he saw Yue shuddering against Ranma's mouth, while the other boy's hips twitched, and Konoka made a few gagging sounds, thin lines of white escaping down her mouth and all the way to her chin. Negi sighed, telling himself he really couldn't act against the young man if his students were doing it with him of their own will. It was not like he had the moral higher ground to criticize him, either. Although, come to think about it, didn't he have a fiancee?

Such thoughts were momentarily banished away as Nodoka, leaving a flustered and trembling Ku behind, slid to his side, rubbing his softened member in her small hands. "Negi..." she softly purred, dispensing with the honorifics, before craning her neck over to kiss his mouth. He didn't fight back, rather grabbing her by the back of the head to deepen the kiss. His hands gripped her hips, and he turned her around to lie on her back, placing himself on top of her before penetrating her.

"Nodoka," he said in kind, and then started moving in and out, rocking gently.

Meanwhile, Konoka sighed, rising back to her feet as Yue stepped aside, momentarily satisfied and with her vulva bathed in a mixture of Ranma's saliva and her own juices. The Konoe heiress rubbed the phallus for several moments until it became a mast again, and then she straddled his hips, sinking into him slowly.

"What are you, no, no, why..." Ranma blabbered, in token protest.

"It's okay," Konoka absently said. "This is the natural order, isn't it? The natural state of things, so it can't be possibly wrong. And we're all friends here, yeah, so..." She shrugged, even as she shivered a little, feeling Ranma's member going as deep into her as it could do. He voiced his own arousal as well, but in the form of a low growl. "It's not like I had anything better to do right now"

* * *

Konoe Kouko sat alone at a cafe, blandly looking at her cup. "Mahora is less interesting than I had thought," she mused aloud.

* * *

Kagurazaka Asuna sat on a bench near the lake, absently listening to the ongoing chaos of the Festival in the distance.

She half-hoped Takahata-sensei, no, Takamichi, would come after her any moment now, but then again, she couldn't blame him if he didn't. Him, or Negi. Or both, although the idea of having them both at once ... oh, how delicious it would be, she would have to try that before-

No, she shouldn't be thinking of that now.

On the other hand, perhaps she should be going after Negi? After all, he was guaranteed to go after Fate to 'save' him, and it could get ugly... or sexy, if Honya and the others succeeded at their part. Either way, Asuna wanted to be there.

And yet, she didn't want to become overbearing, no matter how short a time they were left together. Besides, a moment of lonely peace and quiet was a welcome and treasured change of pace from all the recent overcrowded lunacy in her life. She supposed she'd be alone and in silence pretty soon, but ... by then, she wouldn't really be herself, would she?

What a pain.

And then, naturally, someone else came along to disturb that moment of quiet, pleasant ... brooding.

"Hey, you're Kagurazaka, right?" a voice asked.

Asuna looked aside, and saw a slightly younger (well, a lot younger, all things considered) girl with short red hair and a slim build standing hear her, casually posed with a cellphone on her hip. Her aspect didn't ring any bells for the bell-bearing girl, lame puns aside. "Um, yeah? Kagurazaka Asuna, not that I think there are any others. And you are?"

The girl sat down next to her, without bothering to ask first. "Yuuki Nao. I'm one of those involved in the HiME fiasco, so I was told of the deal with you and the kid teacher who isn't a kid anymore."

"Oh," Asuna said, slightly souring again. While she understood the Principal's reasons, she just couldn't like the idea of that secret being known by that many.

"Yeah," Nao slung an arm over the back of the bench, resting lazily. "And going from that, I've been doing some research, asking around, I have my ways, and... well, don't be mad at her for this, but Kuga Natsuki owes me a few from back then, and I also have my sources in the church..."

Asuna frowned. "Misora?"

"Hey, you started snooping on HER private life first!" Nao cocked a smirk. "So she only needed a push, one I'll admit I might have forced a wee bit." She flexed her fingers, which didn't have claws anymore, but might as well have.

"What do you want?" Asuna asked curtly.

"You don't have a mother, do you?"

"Is that something you'd care enough to mock me about?"

"Far from it. I can understand how it'd feel, because I've been dreading becoming an orphan myself for years now. My mother ..." she sighed, all dangerous humor gone. "My mother is hospitalized. She improved for a short while after the whole HiME thing, but ... she's dying." Her voice cracked. "Prayers haven't helped. Magic isn't helping. I'm looking everywhere, anywhere, for a way out. And, since you're such a powerful sort of magical Princess out to save a world, no doubt you could save a single, poor woman too ... it wouldn't be too much for someone like you, would it?" she asked, with the constricted air of someone who is too proud to beg, yet does it anyway because of forces much higher than themselves. Like she had practiced before going to Asuna, avoiding eye contact so she could say the words.

Asuna blinked. "Oh. Oh, geez. I'm sorry, I honestly am, I'd love to help, but ... is your mother's, ah, problem, magical in nature? Because my whole thing is cancelling magic. I'm not good for much else."

"So I'd been warned, but I wanted to believe ... no," she exhaled. "What happened to her was as mundane as it comes. Mugged and beaten to near death. How about that girlfriend of yours? The granddaughter of the old man?"

"She... she only can heal wounds suffered a certain amount of time ago... But, but she's developing her powers, and quickly, too! Who knows... I'll put a word for you on her..."

"My mother doesn't have that long," Nao hissed, fists on her own knees.

"I told you, I'm sorry, but ... uhh. Maybe, maybe another friend of mine might help, but I'm not sure ... how would your mother feel about having ... implants?"

Nao blinked. "What?"

"I mean, I've never seen her doing it, but she built a robot, so maybe she can make people into cyborgs or something, like in the movies..."

"What are you talking about?" asked Nao.

Asuna inhaled deeply. "Let me tell you a story."

* * *

So it had come (no incredibly lame pun intended) to pass that Ranma was with Konoka, until he came into her, and so did Negi with Nodoka. Afterwards, both young men sat back to rest, back to back and panting like warriors during a pause in combat. Of course, Negi was barely tired at all, but he still acted his best for the sake of Ranma-san's ego. After all, if he had been pulled into this, it had been because Negi's actions had hastened Haruna's full sexual awakening, so it was no wonder Negi felt indebted to him.

Such rest did not last long, however, as Nodoka crawled on all fours on the mattress to start suckling Ranma's penis back into hardness. That really unsettled Yue, but the smaller librarian still chose not saying anything. Perhaps it had been witnessing Yue's own oral encounter with Ranma-san that moved Nodoka to take such a decision. And so, Yue began feeling terribly guilty as well, not that it mattered much when Negi, not willing to overlook anyone and hurt their feelings, moved onto her to make her his woman again. That placated Yue's conscience for a while, just as Haruna and Ku rolled across the floor, fondling and kissing each other.

"We really have to start doing this every night from now oooooon ..." Haruna moaned, guiding Ku's mouth into her vulva, and then instructing her on what to do to please another woman. That, too, was unsettling in its own way, Yue decided between vigorous thrusts of Negi, while Nodoka, who was now being drilled by Ranma-san, reached over to intermingle her slender fingers with Yue's.

_God above, but we're fucked up_, the normally agnostic, well spoken and philosophically complex Ayase girl thought, since there were really no better thoughts to describe their situation.

* * *

Things had gone well enough, she... oops!... he decided, bouncing haway happily, clumsy as a grasshopper but not without some strange grace to it, leaping from one rooftop to another now that he was out of the visual range of that nosy Oneechan. Actually, no place was out of her visual range, but she was too busy stalking her friend and that boring but cute Fate kid to pay him much attention.

Then again, wasn't that the problem with hearts? They made fools even out of the smartest.

So there he was, moving in an erratic zig-zag, all the better to lose any probes that reporter oneechan might send after him, although he had felt none yet. So he considered he was out of trouble for the time being, and if he wasn't ... oh, he could welcome trouble as well.

That was why he stopped after detecting that other, hiding figure on a rooftop a couple blocks away, overlooking a well known cafe. Approaching warily, he saw that his person of interest was looking down at a beautiful but mostly average-looking woman who, to a connoisseur of the unstable situation behind the curtains of mundane life, was anything but average. The daughter of Mahora's own headmaster, and wife to the elder of Kansai. That confirmed the identity of the gorgeous creature watching over her, and the boy's heart swooned. Ah. Finally, to cross weapons with such a remarkable kindred spirit!

Then again, wasn't that the problem with hearts? They made fools even out of the smartest.

One moment after, the girl who spied on Konoe Kouko narrowed her eyes behind her glasses, spinning around as she hopped, not too high, on her dainty cute feet, her light blond hair whipping around. She had just felt someone sneaking behind her, and anyone who could do that was not to be trifled with. Probably Negi-kun, or Fate-han, or best of all-

- no.

It was only... a nerdy boy with a camera?

"Gotcha," he giggled, taking a picture of her. The sheer absurdity of the situation made the girl take a half-step back, although her sword was already out and in position. "Ahhh, you're even cuter in person! Happy day, this is my lucky happy day!" he sing-sang.

The girl clenched a smirk. "As it should be. It's always a lucky day when you get to meet your maker. Before you do, however, mind telling me your name? Not that I particularly care, but-"

He interrupted her with an annoying, high pitched, rapid laugh. "Meet my maker! Oh, that's a good one. You'd love my maker, I'm sure, and she'll surely love you as well. I've heard so much of you, Tsukuyomi-san. And I want to believe you've heard of me, so gosh, sure hope I don't need to tell you my name ... this should suffice ..."

Tsukuyomi lifted an eyebrow as she watched the boy literally rip the skin off his face, revealing much cuter and feminine features with a visible large, baby blue eye (and a cute lavender eyepatch on the other one) now free of the artificial layer. The newcomer kept pulling and ripping off, effortlessly shedding the skin and clothes of the young man, showing herself as an angelic vision on pink, golden locks cascading in freedom everywhere. In a way, it was like staring into a mirror, so naturally, Tsukuyomi liked what she saw.

The girl giggled again, reaching behind her back for a parasol, which she opened to pose with, in a perky, coquettish pose. "Ta-daaaahhhh!"

"Yes," Tsukuyomi purred, licking her own lips slowly. "Of course I have heard of you as well. Harime Nui-han."

"Oh, I'm sooooo relieved! Now, while I'm sure we have no real reasons to fight -"

"There always are reasons to fight."

"True, true, but humor me, will you? I'm sure our agendas don't have to clash yet, otherwise we'd already be killing each other, chop chop, chop chop, snap. Or rather, I'd be killing you since I'm so much better, no doubt! Same difference, for me at least! Still, no matter what, it'd be an unforgivable omission, to not go at it now we finally meet in such a fateful, beautiful day, don't you think?"

"I think you talk too much, and believe me, this is coming from someone who knows," Tsukuyomi replied, approaching her playfully, yet also measuring her, drinking in the sight of her and pondering her threat.

"Then let's skip the nice words," Nui purred, almost huskily, lowering the umbrella with studied slowness. "And let's cut to the nice stuff."

"Let's," Tsukuyomi agreed, and they charged each other.

* * *

They were taking a breather now, sitting at different spots of the bedroom, wiping their sweaty foreheads off. Yue had gone to steal, okay, borrow, a carton of juice from Haruna's icebox, and although it was too mundane for her tastes, beggars couldn't be choosers. She drank in contemplative silence, sitting back to back with Nodoka, small butts touching each other. "I'm sure," she mused all of a sudden, "my grandfather would kill me if he could see me now."

"Akane would kill me of she saw me now," Ranma-san said, in a haunted tone. "Scratch that, she WILL kill me when she learns. And she WILL learn, trust me."

Haruna snorted, resting between him and Negi. Living the dream. "She'd have to kill me first. Seriously, it's a forced marriage. She dislikes the idea as much as you do! You two should just drop the farce and let each other go, because frankly, you're toxic for each other."

"It's not as simple!" her brother claimed. "And look who's talking about being toxic, look at what you made me do!"

It was Ku Fei's turn to snort. "I no saw no one forcing you, Big Strong Man, to be with weaker smaller girls. No true man and warrior would be ever forced by girls against his will, that no right, Negi?" she smiled at her man.

Negi sweated intensely and blabbered a non-committal answer meant to placate her without offending Ranma. Not that it was too useful, since the other boy had just jumped back to his bare feet. "What do you know about strong men and their ties of honor? I've always seen you fighting weaklings or other girls!"

"Oh dear, there he goes again," Haruna rubbed the narrow space between her glasses (the only thing she was wearing) and her nose.

"You saying girls no can be strong, or have honor?" a fired up Ku rose to meet his hardened gaze. "Those serious fighting words! All of Fei's victories have been legit!"

"Well," he said, "maybe that's because you haven't fought Saotome Ranma yet!"

"I just fought much better man and won! I can beat you, too!"

"Really? Bring it on, then! I don't like fighting girls, but this should be fast and painless!"

"Guys, seriously, please, don't-" Negi began.

Konoka sighed. "Let them be, Negi-kun. It's better if they vent this way. At least they won't be-"

The sounds of the ongoing discussion interrupted her. "Hah! I so sure I'll win, if you do, I'll do like Honya and Konoka and let me be yours! Not that I have to worry about that!"

Konoka clenched her teeth. "What have I done."

"You're on!" Ranma decided, too fired up to care anymore. "I'll betcha they're better at it than you, too!"

Nodoka shrugged vaguely. "Probably, yes. No offense, Ku-chan."

Haruna blinked. "Does that mean... I rank below all of them?" And then, seeing them about to start fighting, "Hey, hey, if you're going to duke it out, do it outside!"

"This my room too!" Ku said, not looking at her. "If I want fighting here, I with as much rights as you when you draw gay manga here!"

"But you'll trash everything!"

"Don't care!" Ranma and Ku said at once, then leaped ahead to collide in a flur of mutual fists that began rattling the whole room.

Nodoka arched an eyebrow. _"... kinky ..."_ she whispered to herself.

"Oh, what the..." Negi sighed his defeat. "Okay, everyone give them some room, maybe we should just leave."

But Nodoka already was fellating him while keeping her eyes nailed on the nearby symphony of martial violence.

"Aaahhhh..." Negi said.

Haruna wailed her impotence. "Ah! No! Look out for those originals! They're autographed! RANMA! STOP KNOCKING MY DRAWING UTENSILS DOWN! At least take it to the living room!"

* * *

She hated to admit it, even to herself, but Tsukuyomi, feared, terrifying, imposing Tsukuyomi, didn't have the best record against opponents she considered worth her time.

Back at Kyoto, a seeming lifetime ago even if it only had been a few months since then, during their first encounter, her Sempai had ended up defeating her with relative ease. She had done much better in their rematch, but by that point, Sempai was admittedly going through complicated times, and probably not at her best. Even for someone who cared as little about fairness as Tsukuyomi, that was a bit nagging, at the back of her mind. She had only done as well as she did against Fate-han while provoking him because he wasn't really going all out, she was well aware of that. Then Negi-han had defeated her with frightening - _exciting_ - ease. And then, when she had every logical and illogical advantage against Sempai in their final match, when she had her down against the ropes with no way out, somehow, Sempai had won regardless, and it was stupid and unfair and absurd, and ...

... and now this girl, this Harime Nui whose name was whispered with as much dread as her own through the underworld, was kicking her across the rooftops, toying with her, giggling and giggling and casually ripping pieces of her clothes apart as she did so. Tsukuyomi wondered if Sempai felt the way she was feeling now, during their duels. Lacking the necessary empathy, that didn't make her feel any sort of true realization, much less an epiphany, but barely enough to make her vaguely aware it actually sucked a lot when you were in the receiving side.

"C'mon, c'mon, please please please put more life into it please!" the short skirted girl sang aloud, dancing over Tsukuyomi's low sword slashes and ducking under her high ones, each action fluid and effortless, and under other circumstances, Tsukuyomi might have admired her skill, and how easy she made it look. As things were, however, she only could feel annoyance and frustration at that person tossing her aside with the occasional swipe of her parasol or clumsy-looking taunting kick. The latest of which felt like it had cracked a rib, apparently. Rolling on her latest landing, and supporting herself on her blade, Tsukuyomi panted, blinking to clear her vision. She had moved her further apart from the Academy itself, which seemed to point to a desire to keep themselves out of the staff's watchful eyes. Whether it was out of a genuine fear or respect for them or out of a simple whim to keep her game uninterrupted remained to be seen.

Nui hopped on a single foot to her, twirling the parasol over her own head. "Awwwww, that's it? I expected for so much more! If you're as cute as the stories say, why aren't you as strong? I'm so, so disappointed!"

Tsukuyomi grinned. In a way, Sempai had taught her something. When you exploited your chances, slight as they might be, properly, when you struck at the right opening in the right moment, preferably when your vastly superior opponent was crowing over you, then, with enough of a strong fighting spirit, you still could score a victory. An absurd, unfair, stupid victory, but a victory nonetheless.

And so she did, following that example. She rose in a single mighty, surprise attack right when she had looked the most vulnerable, and stabbed as deeply as she could. Granted, her aim was to the chest, and yet the other warrior could block it in time... but stupidly so, it had been with the arm holding the parasol, rather than the odd weapon itself. "I got you," Tsukuyomi hissed, her eyes golden on black, as the arm and the object it had been holding flew over the edge, spraying oh so pretty blood all over them...

And then Harime Nui began laughing.

Tsukuyomi blinked in utter puzzlement, and then she was kicked in the gut again. As the other arm of Harime Nui pulled something out from behind her back, revealing, dark gods knew from where, a much larger sharp weapon shaped like half of a pair of scissors.

"What-" Tsukuyomi babbled, right before that dainty, hard hitting foot planted itself on her again, this time on her mouth, crunching down on it, loosening a pair of teeth.

"Silly," the other sociopath said, fondly, as the open wound she had began quickly growing a new arm, to Tsukuyomi's shock and awe. She had never fought anyone like this before. She had lost from the moment she had started fighting. Now she saw that, and infuriating as it was, it also felt ... strangely liberating.

She only regretted that last dance couldn't be with her Sempai.

As she fell on her back, coughing blood up, Harime Nui stood over her, her sole eye glinting menacingly, a wide grin slashing a perfect cut up her face.

"So it comes to this. Naturally, it couldn't be otherwise," Tsukuyomi said, the scissor pinning her blade down and away from her hand. Maybe if she still had Hina with her. (Okay, she had more than just that one regret after all.) But alas. "So do it! Kill me now, and let's get over with this!"

"Kill you?" Harime Nui eerily cocked her head aside. "Now, why would I kill you? Do I look like a killer...?"

"Ah?"

"Because I am, but I don't look the part, do I?" she impishly smiled, striking another coquettish pose, her regrown hand on her own chest. "And a killer who doesn't look like one is a killer who won't kill when it's expected. That makes perfect sense, doesn't it?" she cooed, lowering herself to her knees, to gently grip on Tsukuyomi's shredded skirt, pulling it up to kiss and lick on her bruises. "Ah. Your wounds are cute as well. Everything about you is. You're weak, but that can be fixed! Wanna go home with me? I know a perfect, wonderful woman who will surely love you, as much as I do!"

Tsukuyomi blinked, perplexed for once. "W-Wait, what are you trying to-"

"I imagined you, of all people, would find it obvious," Nui mischievously said, tugging on the elastics of Tsukuyomi's cute and old fashioned panties down, lowering them down her legs and inhaling at the small crotch covered by a light patch of blond hair. She licked her own lips, and then licked Tsukuyomi's lower ones, diving her head in between her legs.

All sex was better enjoyed after a generous serving of violence, after all.

* * *

Proof of that being how, after trashing the whole room and everything graphic arts related in it, much to Haruna's wailing despair and Yue's dry amusement, the two headstrong, academically obtuse, loyal to a fault, currently naked young martial artists and kempo experts had found their emotions jarringly shifting from mutual frustration and anger to begrudging respect in the middle of furious exchanges of blows, and then, as those exchanges began favoring Ranma, to a different sort of heated, out of control passion.

"I win," Ranma snarled, pinning her down against the floor, roughly grabbing her wrists as she kept slamming the soles of her feet on his stomach, to not much avail other than making him wince.

There was no much honest arguing against that, and since Ku liked to think of herself as a honest and honorable fighter who wouldn't lie to disguise her defeats, she conceded. "You do. Then, you do as man and carry on your promise, yes?"

Ranma blinked, having honestly forgotten about that part. "Uhhh... but you're in love with him, aren't cha?" his head gestured towards where Nodoka rode Negi, moaning loudly, her hands on his hard chest.

Ku gave them a wanton side glance and then sighed. "I do, yes," she said, low enough to be unheard by Negi, under Nodoka's long drawn moans. "But as you see, he'll never be only man for me, as I wish. And... you have won, really. So that is moot point either way." She chewed on her lower lip for a few moments, clearly troubled, before sighing. "It okay, really. Ku must change her mind to better fit this modern world. So do the others, my friends, my sisters, no matter what, no matter how we might compete."

"But, still, I don't want to do it, if your heart isn't into it, it'd be wrong..."

She reached up to tug on his pigtail, which did made him yelp. "My heart? Don't talk to me about my heart. My heart is broken, and only way I can fix it is by remaking me, like they have done. I won't be outdone by them there, too. This is about my own pride. Where yours? Are you no man?"

He scowled deeply. Women. They never understood. They never thanked him for all his concern, did they? No matter what, they always would just keep thinking of him as another perverted jock to exploit for their own goals, for their own emotional... whatever they called those, anyway, he was just way too pissed off, and God surely would forgive him, even if Akane never did, but then, she understood the least of them all, she never would think of him of anything as a pervert to suspect and beat, so, if she would do it either way.

"The best of men," he sneered, pushing his hips down to enter the dark skinned beauty. And then he began fucking her, and she fucked him, no mercy asked or given from either side. Both still were novices, but picking the skills as quickly as they did with anything else that was physical. Yue and Konoka sat back and watched, mutely and with unreadable expressions, side by side; while Nodoka and Negi still seemed to be alone in their own world, despite being just a few steps aside in the sidelines of the wrecked room. Haruna had vanished for the time being, but no one was particularly concerned yet.

The sounds of flesh slapping flesh vigorously as the two fighters mated were actually stronger than their grunts and other strange sounds of intimacy. Ku Fei closed her eyes tightly and clung to him, while whispering another's name. So did he, actually, and ironically, in that they reached a greater communion.

It lasted long, almost as long as their fight, but eventually, all conflicts of the flesh must come to pass, and the sign for that in this instance was given by Ranma's screams of "Coming! Coming! I'm-!"

**"Nnnnnhhhhh!"** Ku bucked her hips a few more times, and hearing Nodoka's own cry of release triggered hers. A few moments later, Ranma surrendered and shot his seed into the first Chinese Amazon he'd ever intimate with.

Elsewhere, Shampoo was suddenly feeling very dumb and very lame for some reason or another.

Ranma gasped for air, rolling off Ku Fei's body, and then felt around for his pants amidst the disaster area. What he found, instead, was a glass of icy cold water being dumped on him from above.

"Eeeee!" Female Ranma's shrill voice yelled. She looked up to see her naked sister, standing above her, empty glass in hand, eyeglasses in a sinister blank. "Haruna?! What's your big idea?!"

"Shut up, Oneechan," Haruna said, pushing a foot down against one of Ranma's large, perky breasts. Her toes clenched around the nipple. "I've told everyone here about my Oneechan's curse, right? Right. So it's time for the last person in this room who still hasn't gotten her due to get it. My sister," she vengefully said.

"Uhhh," Ranma babbled, "don't you think I've already done it enough?"

"I said my sister, not my brother," Haruna coldly said.

Ranma, finally understanding, grew rigid in dread. "Oh, no, you can't be serious."

"That's what everyone is always saying," Haruna said, lowering herself to slam a finger into Ranma's vagina, taking her by surprise. "Like I'm a clown or something. I guess I haven't shown you enough of how serious I can get."

"Serious? You?" Ranma tried to sound mocking and dismissive, while attempting to deny Haruna the knowledge of the dark, forbidden pleasure her hand was provoking on her nethers. It wasn't particularly effective, since Ranma was well used to disguising his physical pain, but hadn't ever experience enough actual pleasure to master hiding it. She arched her back and moaned, and it wasn't any easier for her at all when, at a signal from Haruna, Nodoka and Yue came behind Ranma, each one taking a nipple into their mouths and starting to lightly suckle. "Y-You can't be- annnghhh. Stop it, stop it, I'm warning you!"

"Your warnings are nothing but a big bundle of nothing, Oneechan," Haruna mused aloud, now applying her other hand on Ranma's ass, sticking a finger up her rectum, a move that would have made the redhead scream if not for the fact that Ku Fei had just sat on her face, blocking her mouth. A strange wet taste in her mouth puzzled her for a few moments, until realization sank in; that was the same... stuff that had just come out of him and into that crazy girl, and now it was ... Gross. Gross, gross, gross! Even someone as sexually naive (at least until that morning) as Ranma could realize that. She tried shaking the Chinese blonde off, but the way she was pressing her lower body against her face, as her hands gripped her pigtailed hair, made quite clear what she wanted. So Ranma, despite having triumphed over her before, had to submit to her wishes now. Women, always sneaking around to get their way somehow even when they ...

_... annnnhhhh!_

Haruna pulled her now sticky fingers out of Ranma's cunt and licked them clean. "Yum," she blandly said, the other hand now fondling a buttock. As she looked away from her shuddering big sister and towards her teacher, she invited with a crooked grin, "She's all wet now, Negi-kun. Your turn!"

Negi blinked a few times. "What? What? No! I mean, he's a boy, and I'm sure he doesn't want to!"

Ranma made a few energetic sounds of agreement with that.

"Nonsense," Haruna smiled, patting Ranma's crotch, "she's as girly as they come, can't you see? And besides, even if she weren't, even if she strove to be a man amongst men, which is stupid and sexist anyway, they don't make them much manlier than men who lie with men! It's very Spartan, see?"

Ranma screamed muffled noises of agony that were drowned by Ku's vulva and her own screams.

"See, she agrees with me!" Haruna nodded.

"But-" Negi began.

"I'm her sister, shouldn't I know her that much?" Haruna argued, wagging a finger.

"You don't want to discriminate, do you, Sensei?" Nodoka teased, really getting into the mischievous spirit of it now. "Are you insecure about your own masculinity? Either of you?" she added, running a soft hand down Ranma's belly, until her fingers played with the redhead's clitoris.

Negi blinked, looked down at Ranma's enticing body and her long, kicking legs, and gulped. "Okay... I guess..."

Haruna, since Ku was falling back from Ranma amidst small yelps of ecstasy, approached him/her from behind and whispered into his/her ear. _"Relax and take it like a man, Oneechan. Akane will be disappointed and upset if she ever learns you didn't take it like a man."  
_  
Ranma froze.

Haruna giggled and played with that beautiful red hair. "Do you have any idea how long it took me to draw all those stupid pages you always insult so much? The gay ones? Why do you hate the gay stuff so much, Oneechan? Might it be that you're in denial about something?"

"I'm not in any-!" Ranma growled, but then Haruna was kissing him deeply and passionately, in a way that surely couldn't have been born from pure spite or desire for petty revenge (well, not totally), and the Springfield boy was pulling her legs open and holding her because he was, and Ranma oh so hated to admit it, stronger than her, and then his tip was touching her entrance, and then, in a single strong thrust, he was going in.

_**Gahhhh!**_

In all truth, Haruna loved her brother, and very much so. Despite him never being there for her, despite his outdated and annoying views, despite his rampant prejudices against the things she loved the most, despite his mostly innocent contempt for what she really was (which, to be fair, was mutual), she greatly loved him. But as Nodoka and Yue could attest to, Haruna's love often took strange forms. Right now, she was doing what she really thought was the best for him in the long run, even if he wouldn't appreciate it any time soon.

But perhaps she had underestimated his capacity to adapt, or the magic of Negi's dick, or both, because in a short time, after several violent motions that made Negi really wonder about the nature of what he was doing, Ranma stopped struggling and began moaning into Haruna's kisses. "There, there, there," the little sister cooed, comforting Ranma with gentle touches and pecks. "The less you fight it, the better it'll feel ... now, it feels kinda good, doesn't it? And it'll feel way better, I promise," she said, her fingers working with Nodoka and Yue's along Ranma's clitoris. While Ku and Konoka rubbed privates not too far, Ranma panted and began adapting to Negi's rhythm, falling into a synchrony that was actually more coordinated than any other Negi had experienced before, except those with Asuna and Evangeline. He reached up with a hand to massage Ranma's left breast, pinching on the nipple, and Ranma experienced a quick string of small orgasms, making her vaginal muscles squeeze painfully.

Negi's face twitched. "Girls! Girls, Ranma-san, I'm going to, I can't pull out!"

Oh, so he just couldn't tug it off, Ranma realized with some smug satisfaction. Good, so there was one thing where he was better than him, then! It made Ranma so happy she, if anything, only consciously redoubled her efforts to keep Negi trapped.

"Squirt it in," Haruna growled. "Not like you can get her pregnant! I think."

Ranma blinked her surprise. "You, you _think_?! Wait, what, no, wait a- AHHHHH!" she shook, feeling Negi's release going into her as the young teacher exhaled deeply, tossing his arms back.

And that was how Saotome Ranma, the Wild Horse, lost his virginity.

And her virginity, as well.

* * *

"Now," Haruna suggested, once things finally quieted down somewhat, "if you two could do it again, but now with Oneechan as a boy...?"

**"DEFINITELY NOT!"** Negi and Ranma yelled at once, in a way that was quite cutely synchronized.

* * *

By now, Nui had discarded her pink minidress aside, and it came as no surprise she had not been wearing anything under it. What she had not discarded were her high heeled pink boots, and she was using one of such heels right now to press it as deeply as it could go into Tsukuyomi's vulva, even making it bleed amongst Tsukuyomi's moans of pleasure.

And then, pressing the heel with even more strength, Nui -

- oh, screw it. Even *I* can't write this down. Instead, please enjoy these wholesome, radiant and cute stock scenes until it's safe to go back into the storyline.

* * *

_Sado Yasutora, who'd never been interested on chasing teachers around no matter the reward, sat at the middle of the empty lot, petting the kittens he and Chachamaru-san took turns looking after, and pouring them generous helpings of milk, directly from a bottle to several plates placed before them. He wondered what could Chachamaru-san be doing at the time._

* * *

"Lick it," Nui commanded, placing the red stained heel on Tsukuyomi's pink lips. Poking her tongue out, the weakened swordsgirl obeyed, just as Nui used the handle of her half-scissor to press it against Tsukuyomi's anal entrance, pushing in, and then...

* * *

_"Lala-san, turn around," Yuuki Mikan said, after the Deviluke Princess' return home from a long, long day of chasing around terrified respected educators with tripods and other ultra-technological alien devices of doom. __"I'll wash your back now!"_

* * *

"Aaaaaaand now, for our next trick...!" Nui laughed musically, balling a hand into a fist and then plunging it directly into Tsukuyomi's-

* * *

_Sitting in the eerie quietness of his Arkham Asylum cell, the Joker lifted his gaze from the newspaper he had been reading, and one of his green eyebrows went way up._

_"Really, a Negima fanfic?" he wondered aloud. "What the heck would I ever be doing in a Negima fanfic? Who would be dumb enough to ever _try _such a thing?"_

_"Who are you talking to?" asked Killer Croc from the cell right across the hallway._

* * *

Tsukuyomi panted and whezeed weakly, stirring at random intervals, broken and naked at Nui's feet. She couldn't go on anymore, and she knew it. She was past her limits, and that was an indisputable truth. And yet, she only could say a single thing, the sole word currently bubbling up from her fractured, confused and quite likely deeply in Mad Love soul.

_"More," _she creaked out.

"Hmm?" Nui asked, standing above her with a fist on a hip. "Now, why would you be asking for something like that?"

Tsukuyomi, as best as she could, stared up at her with a mixture of dread and rejection.

And Nui smiled her angelic best again. "After all, there's no need to ask for more when one's barely starting, silly pie!"

Tsukuyomi, somehow, managed to crank a twisted, goofy smile before Nui descended on her again.

* * *

Back at the dorms, Negi was sitting on the edge of the roof gazing out at the city and trying to figure out how to resolve the situation he'd gotten himself into this time, something that even he, the eternal brooding optimist, was starting to nearly feel was becoming a complete impossibility. He could at least take some pleasure in the fact that he'd moved beyond sitting around feeling disgusted about himself and was trying to figure out a solution. That was progress. It was commendable. And it only had taken sex with another boy magically changed into a girl to push him that further up, too!

Anyway, cutting directly to the point without looking too deeply into it, he had to put a stop to this right now, before it got any worse. If that was possible.

"Negi-dono. I believe that you and I must have words, now," came a voice from behind him.

_It's about to get worse, isn't it?_ he thought with genuine annoyance.

"Negi-dono?" she repeated when he hadn't made any visible reaction to her announcement.

"Kaede-san, I think I warn you that, with only a handful of exceptions, most of them named Tokiha, every conversation or discussion that I've had with any of you in the last little while has ended in the exact same way," he said wearily as he turned around to look at her. At the moment that he did so, she was leaning slightly out of one of the shadows cast by the rooftop's access doorway.

"Really?" she said, frowning slightly. "They've all ended the way that your recent discussion with Ku-dono did?"

He nodded instinctively. Then, "You saw, then?"

"One chanced upon Ku-dono as she sat weeping over your injuries, having just lately fulfilled one's own role in our stratagem and released Akira-dono some distance away. You recovered promptly, and -"

"Just a moment," Negi interrupted. "'Released Akira-san'?"

"That is not what one said," Kaede said honestly.

"What did you mean by what you did say?" he asked, frowning. "Did you do -"

"Rest at ease, no harm was done to her. You would be proud of her, however, for she attempted to warn Fate-sensei of our scheme, and this one was compelled to retrieve her and place her in custody that she could not do so."

Negi sighed. "Of course she did," he said, shaking her head. "She's such a good person, you should all learn from her example instead of - oh, never mind." He shook his head. "In any event, I suppose that you followed us back here, and watched through the window."

Kaede nodded, just once.

"Well, that's what's happened to my discussions with Asuna, Konoka, Setsuna, Chisame, Asakura, Sayo, Master, Mikazuki-san, Twilight Sparkle-san, Tenjouin-san, Fujisaki-san, Kujou-san and Ranma-san, too, so you might want to take precautions."

Incredibly, her eyes opened almost completely as she looked at him, clearly amazed. "Indeed," she said. "Well. Thank you, Negi-dono. One appreciates the warning. However, I will trust in my training, and the serenity of my soul, to protect me from your seductive powers, which are clearly as formidable as any of your other faculties. For it is very important that I discuss this matter with you." Deep breath. "Negi-dono ... are you all right?" she asked.

Negi stared at her for a moment, before he dropped his head into his hands and began crying.

"Ohhh, dear, this was not part of the plan. Um ..." Kaede hemmed as she drew closer.

"I'm sorry!" Negi said through his sobs. "I'm sorry I implied you're not a good person, Kaede-san! You are! You're a very good person! It's me, me who's the bad person! I'm a heartless playboy who toys with girl's feelings while all the while all I care about is chasing after my father! Waaaaaaah!" he concluded.

_Elsewhere, Itoshiki Nozomu's eyes snapped wide open. "I can feel a great disturbance in the Wangst Force! Someone is trying, and with great success, to outdo me! I'M IN DESPAIR! Being unable to even- umm, Hitou-san, what are you doing?"_

The girl kneeling before his heavily tied up form, which had been tossed on a couch, smiled nervously up at him. "Sensei," Nami said, eerily calm, "if I step waaaaay over the line here and now, I won't be normal and average anymore, will I?" she wondered aloud, tugging down on his hakama pants.

Itoshiki made a horrified, high pitched sound mid-way between screech and shriek. "TSUNETSUKI-SAN, PLEASE SAVE ME!"

Right outside the dorm room, Tsunetsuki Matoi slept with a large bump on her head and her face in the grass.

"No one thinks you're a playboy!" Nagase said. "Well, all right, I suppose technically you fit the definition but -"

"Worst teacher ever! Worst person ever! Unfit to manage a computer forum, a job suited for the scummiest of the scummy, let alone a complicated project like space development!"

Kaede felt appalled as she stood there, watching one of the young men whom she'd most enjoyed watching blossom into wisdom and power now collapse in shame and self-condemnation. It was horrible. But, in her serenity, she found resolve. Once before he'd been driven into such despair, and she had helped him then. She would help him now. And the same tactics that worked last time would surely work again!

"Sensei," she said sternly.

"Yes?" he asked, raising his head.

She slammed the first two fingers of her right hand into a pressure point right between the eyebrows, sending him into blissful unconsciousness. It would never have worked if he had been defending himself even slightly, but one who dwells in the shadows prefers it if one's targets cannot do so. Having successfully incapacitated him, she packed him away into her cloak, and began to make her way towards the campus' boundaries.

But you already know what happens afterwards, okay? Okay!

* * *

The absurd chases had finally stopped, and the teachers were currently enjoying some much needed rest and relaxation. Well, those who could enjoy things at all anymore, at least. Most were too shaken by their recent experiences, and Counselor Arai Chie had to work overtime that day to cope with the situation. She actually had to _try_ giving real useful advice, which always was such a bother.

As it happened, the man known in Mahora as Irving Diedrich had escaped unharmed from the insanity, which had earned him some respect at last from his colleagues. Once, he would have cared, with great smug pride, about that result, but the man he was now was so broken and alien by now, that fact had barely registered with him. He sat alone in his apartment, with his faithful pet crow, engrossed into the reading of old psychology tome after even older psychology tome. That was, of course, until his doorbell rang. Again.

With a sigh, he stood up, walked to the door, and opened it, to find as expected a slumped forward Enoshima Junko standing at his doorstep, with a haunted, yearning and frankly disturbed look in her eyes.

"C'mon, just another dose," she moaned, in a borderline hostile, but also needful and almost pleading, tone. "I'll give you **anything** you want," she added, pulling her shorts up to reveal more of the creamy, firm flesh of her smooth legs.

Once again, the man who once was Jonathan Crane would have considered the offer back when there was something human left in him, but at that point, after years of chemical exposure, head trauma, daily coexistence with the likes of the Joker, and massive episodes of dark obsession, he didn't even flinch when he closed the door on Junko's face.

And then she said, loud enough for him to hear through the door, "Or you know, I could repay you in another way. I've been looking on you and that wonderful gas, okay? As it happens, a good enough web search told me about some crazy scrawny guy in America, who looked a lot like you and used a nifty gas like that one to-"

With a maniacal growl of menace, he pulled the door back open, and found her smiling at him, holding a black and white plush bear in a hand. It faintly reminded Crane of something Harvey Dent would have liked, even if only as a trinket to decorate those idiotically arranged hideouts of his. "Oooohhh, that stung, didn't it. Tell you what, Teach, I know what really pushes your buttons, and let's be honest for once, sooner or later, if I figured it out, others will too. So why not to enjoy ourselves before that? I've got this great idea for a... let's call it social project of the kind you like, but... I think I need some patronage to get it running."

The man frowned at her, torn between just killing her and hearing her out. She was sharp and fearless, it seemed, and he appreciated the former and loved to break the latter. First of anything, however, he had to know, "What's the bear for?"

"Oh, this?" she grinned and winked. "Every franchise needs a cute mascot, see..."

* * *

Elsewhere, a heavily bandaged, staggering, but also quite happy and dumbly smiling Tsukuyomi was being dragged down a long narrow hallway by Nui, who hummed sweetly to herself as he kept the younger girl grabbed by a leash tightly secured around her neck, forcing her to follow her along. The walk lasted a long, long while, through that perfectly white passage, so well lit and antiseptic, like a hospital's. Tsukuyomi preferred to think of it as a death corridor, however.

Finally, they reached a large door at the end of it, which Nui opened by slamming an open hand on a side panel. Immediately, they were granted access to a gigantic set of baths, not too unlike those of Mahora, where a beautiful older woman with fabulous hair sat naked on the edge of a pool, legs wide open, a hand on the head of a dark skinned, lily-haired smaller girl who knelt in the water, silently applying cunnilingus on the woman. The girl's ass was pushed up, it and her back fully visible to Nui and Tsukuyomi as they walked in, even if her face was not.

"Ah, Grand Couturier," the woman greeted. "Welcome back. I see you brought some unexpected bonus from your expedition."

"Not so unexpected, since I had been hoping and expecting running into her for a while ... but yes!" Nui nodded rapidly, giggling as she quickly stripped down, even shedding her boots this time, to join the other females in the water, pulling the still clothed Tsukuyomi in with her. "Say hi, Yomi-chan!"

"Good evening," Tsukuyomi breathed out, with a nod, "Kiryuuin Ragyou-sama, riiiiight? It's a honor..."

The woman moved towards her, caressing Tsukuyomi's cheek with a hand as the other began working on getting her heavy wet dress off. "I am sure it is. I look forward to an intense relationship with whoever you were working for ... until now, since from here you work for us." Said that, she lowered her head, and began planting hungry, vicious kisses on Tsukuyomi's mouth.

It sounded like a reasonable deal, Tsukuyomi absently thought as a hand with long and sharp fingernails went into her panties and into her vagina.

* * *

**To be Continued**.


End file.
